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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:01:04 AM | OP
I am proud of you and you should keep us posted with your advancements on your goal!
I have to tell you that I married the most gorgeous man, 7 years younger than me and a good man 20 years ago. I can't tell you my marriage is in great shape now....but has nothing to do with me being overweight ( exactly about yr height). More of disagreements on important matters at home.
Some men don't care about the exterior 300%...some do.
Do it for yourself first, then for your son and mainly for your health....overweight will hit your health sooner than later. High blood pressure, diabetes,
Always love yourself and how you look, but always look for improvement. If you walk around as you know your worth and you love yourself even if you are not perfectly thing or whatever...this is transmitted to other and trust me men will go after you with no trouble.
But yes.....lose the extra weight and get ready for more happy moments ahead of you. | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:05:34 AM | whenwillthiswork,
Although I commend your words of encouragement to OP, lets not fool ourselves...
exercising is not fun nor it's easy.
And I think exercising will about duplicate your weight loss if you eat sensibly (aka diet).
I will keep in mind yr advice.... but please lets not underrate the effort involved in exercising. | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:18:56 AM |
I wonder how many people have considered gastric bypass surgery or the "lap band"? This option, which only a few years ago was considered "last resort" can now, in many cases, be performed laporoscopically (spelling ?) and only requires a one or two day hospital stay. Additionally, many insurance plans cover it.
A few years ago, I asked my Dr about getting gastric bypass, his response was to ask me how I got to his office. Made me wake up, because he knew I'd walked. He said, "You walked a mile from your apartment to see me. You walk ever time you come here. I assume you walk almost anywhere. Meaning, you are healthy enough to lose weight a more natural way." He smiled and told me I wasn't a good candidate for the surgery because I was too healthy.
The next week, I joined a gym and hired a personal trainer.
They are trained to push you to your limit, each and every time, which exponentially reduces the time it takes to lose those 40 to 50 llbs. Most importantly they will also help to improve your self esteem, as they are always using some form of NLP technigues to help their clients. Never could understand why more people don't use a trainer.
Sadly, there is a lot of negativity circling around the title "Personal Trainer". They think trainers are some guy who sat in a class for a few hours and now tells people how to lift weights. This may be true for some places, but at my gym ( and I know for sure other gyms in the area) hire certified and expect them to continue their education. Also, at my gym, there are two trainers who've lost over 200 pounds a piece. Also have two others competing in natural body building competitions.
Another fear I think women have about trainers is that they worry a trainer will make them bulk up and not look feminine anymore. Most trainers won't make anyone bulk up unless the person specifically requests it. That's why most (good) trainers will spend the first session with a person sitting down, asking questions, and sometimes doing measurements.
What made me hire my trainer was the way he watched my muscles and was very geared my workouts specifically to my body. Hiring a trainer was the best investment I ever made. I do not regret spending any money on him. He taught me things I had absolutely no clue about and opened doors to things I never knew existed. Showed me how to eat properly, the science behind burning calories and why I NEED to eat them. How to make lifting weights work for me. As for pushing me.... boy did he ever. Makes me wish I'd not done those 20 push ups the first day ;) He saw how strong I was and pushed me harder because of it. I can't afford him now... sadly. But I learned A LOT from him and use what I have learned from him all the time.
My favorite thing he'd always say...
"How bad do you want it?" | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 7/3/2009 10:39:35 AM | | mystie....i hope im not just speaking for myself.. but your constant pulling apart what ppl say is REALLY f-ing annoying. just because you lost your weight doesn't mean you know whats going on in other ppl's heads or hearts.. so if someone wants to say that they are "lazy" and felt like going thru the drive thru.. i think you should just let them say how they feel and not take apart everything and try to analyze it. you are not a shrink.. and you are not right about everything especially what OTHER ppl are going thru. im sure you are a nice lady.. but desecting statements and critisizing them is just really overbearing and annoying.... and perhaps... thats why YOU'RE still single even after you've gotten fit. | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:52:40 AM | Ummm... please look at my pictures.
I have only lost 35 pounds. Yes, I have worked REALLY hard to lose at least that. I still have a WHOLE lot more to go. I am far from at my goal weight.
I never said I was a shrink. I never said I was perfect. I never even implied it.
I figured being a fat girl who is struggling to lose weight gave me a bit more insite than who's never had to worry about losing weight.
""and perhaps... thats why YOU'RE still single even after you've gotten fit.""
Wow!! .... How is someone supposed to find a date on this site when even the fat people are bashing the other fat people?
I thought I was still single because I am picky about who I date and/or sleep with. I thought it was because I'd rather be happy alone than miserable with some guy I just settled for. | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 7/3/2009 12:00:04 PM |
I think a lot of the problem is that people just have troube grasping the amount of time it takes to lose weight (and keep it off).... so they go for fad diets that don't work, excercise equipment that appears on late night informercials... sign up for Gyms on January 2nd, and give it up by Feb 2nd because they only lost 1 pound...
When I decided to drop a few pounds, I started walking everywhere...(saved a fortune in Gas!) I cut my meals in half... I dropped bar foods... and fast-food restaurants....I don't do junk food. I also allowed myself 2 years to do it. I actually lost more than I planned... People unrealistically expect a lifetime of overeating to go away in 30 days.... it's not happening...
Partly true. People aren't willing to invest in the long term you are right, but they're also not willing to contribute the little time it does take during the day.
To lose weight you do not need to live at the gym. 30 or 40 minutes of cardio a day in concert with eating a healthy diet (while watching calories) and you can shread the weight off. But, people make excuses... "I'm too busy to stop by the gym, or work out daily" - right - but you have plenty of time to sit down and watch an hour's worth of American Idol.
Losing weight isn't hard at all. You just have to want to do it and stop making excuses. | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 7/3/2009 12:23:48 PM |
To lose weight you do not need to live at the gym. 30 or 40 minutes of cardio a day in concert with eating a healthy diet (while watching calories) and you can shread the weight off. But, people make excuses... "I'm too busy to stop by the gym, or work out daily" - right - but you have plenty of time to sit down and watch an hour's worth of American Idol.
Another thing is, people have this misguided notion that they HAVE to do cardio IN the gym. For millions of people going to the gym helps them focus on the task at hand. Which is awesome. I love going specifically for the weights and machines.
However, I would rather walk 4- 5 miles outside any day over on a tread mill. Cardio can be done by biking, hiking, mountain climbing (if one is lucky enough to live in those areas), swimming, walking/jogging along the beach(again, if you are lucky enough to be near that). Pretty much anything that raises the heart rate for 30 to 45 minutes a day.
What I am saying, is that work outs don't HAVE to be boring. It's great to be creative with your work outs. And let's face it, the people making the excuses tend to find the gym really boring. But getting them out jogging along side their dog for a few miles, not only will they have a good time, but the dog will be happier too. It is a really good chance for "Me time" and working through a person's thoughts.
I think a lot of the problem is that people just have troube grasping the amount of time it takes to lose weight (and keep it off).... so they go for fad diets that don't work, excercise equipment that appears on late night informercials... sign up for Gyms on January 2nd, and give it up by Feb 2nd because they only lost 1 pound...
That's because we live in a five minutes ago society. We are used to getting everything five minutes ago. If we need something, we hop in the car (heaven forbid we wait for the bus), go to the store, and buy it. If we can’t find it there, it is right at our fingertips on the internet where we can have it sent to our front door in tomorrow morning’s mail. Most people can't event sit through a two hour movie anymore. And why should they? They can rent or download it... Where they can pause it or even stop it until next time they are in the mood for it. Even television shows are set up to keep our over active minds… active. A half hour tv show has about four breaks. In which are commercials. Most of which do not go over 30 seconds long. Advertisers know not to go over that because they will lose the attention of the American consumer. Why? Because we are wired to have everything right now. If your information is longer than 30 seconds, we become bored. (And we wonder why we have so many mental issues!)
... if people become bored and antsy after a minute long commercial... how the hell do we expect them to know how to allow their bodies the time to lose weight they gained over a five to ten year period? | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:32:30 PM | Well, I've always been plus sized, ever since childhood. In my late teens I lost 40 got knocked up then progressed to what seemed about 10lbs a year average after childbirth. I remember my Doc telling me that I had the type of body that would require constant diet and exercise because of my low metabolism.
I went back to work full time when my son was 7. I work retail and retail is fast paced and you are always on the go, needless to say I dropped 30 easy. I still ate the same, I never ate a whole lot, I just stored everything. Obviously after a while I flat lined. This past year, I started seeing a Neurologist for my Migraines. He prescribed me Topamax. Well, one of the side effects is that it increases your metabolism. Needless to say, eating the same as I always had and actually I have had to snack at work because it burns it so quick, I have lost 50 lbs. All that is in matter of the weight.
As far as the dating, I haven't had a problem with it, when I open myself to it anyway. I have have been involved with some very attractive men in my life. My Sons father and also my Ex Husband were both very attractive. I'm almost ashamed to say but I was recently involved for 2yrs with a very hot 20 something firefighter who found me when I was heavier than I am now. So, they are out there, it's just a matter of how someone see's themselves and shows themselves to others.
And for me, I am not sure how I am going to handle myself if and when I get much smaller. I know my beauty and I know it will only get worse as I get smaller, isn't that strange to gain insecurity over something that should be good. I guess it then becomes will people see me for me or the package? | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:24:02 PM | mmm..curious about the cardio routine where you can eat whatever you want? and what is nlp?
there are lots of reasons why people are overweight, even if they are exercising and eating less. it doesn't mean they haven't done anything to lose. yes there are people who don't do anything to lose because they either choose not to or don't want to do the things necessary to lose. aside from those people, others are trying different things and sometimes progress is slow.
ugghhh...guess i'll try to get up in time to try a spinning class tomorrow.... | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 8/7/2009 12:24:43 AM | I'm so tired of the stupid BBW fat people BHM posts period!! Give it a rest already!!
First off, if you are a big person, as I am....and you post looking for positive responses on these sites...you are brain dead and setting yourself up to be hurt.
Who cares???? Like you think these people GET IT??
Secondly, all you are doing is giving these shallow and judgemental people a place to vent and be cruel, do we really need to hear more of WHY they don't find us attractive???
OR do we really need dieting advice from some anorexic looking lil thing that has never had to battle with being overwieght???
Listen to these people!!! They assume that every overweight person is in the shape they are in because they eat too much. HELLooooooooooooooooooooo
I guess that having medical problems like a thyroid problem, or some sort of disease like kidney disease where steroids are taken and the person blows up like a balloon is just a pathetic excuse, huh?
If someone won't accept a person because of this or that....F*** them and move on!!
Geeeeeeeeeeeze I dont' see a million posts from people ****ing because they have a big nose and wanting advice on plastic surgery or how to cosmetically hide it. | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 8/7/2009 1:24:17 AM |
I guess that having medical problems like a thyroid problem, or some sort of disease like kidney disease where steroids are taken and the person blows up like a balloon is just a pathetic excuse, huh? Funny how those problems only seem to happen in countries with plenty of food.... You never saw any pictures of people in POW camps that had a thyroid issue or people starving in other countries...and were still overweight.... one would think if it was that common.... there'd be a few in every picture...
I have a friend who was massively obese when we were in school.... A few years ago, he ended up trying an amazing method of losing weight... he ate less! and excercised more...! stopped boozing...! He lost a couple of hundred pounds... and it took him about 5 years to do it... but he's an average looking guy now.... and is happy and in a relationship.... Who would think that cutting back on food could cause you to lose weight....? The wonders of modern science.... | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 8/7/2009 9:10:24 AM |
I have a friend who was massively obese when we were in school.... A few years ago, he ended up trying an amazing method of losing weight... he ate less! and excercised more...! stopped boozing...! He lost a couple of hundred pounds... and it took him about 5 years to do it... but he's an average looking guy now.... and is happy and in a relationship.... Who would think that cutting back on food could cause you to lose weight....? The wonders of modern science....
First off, congratulations to your friend. Not just for the weight loss, but the cutting back on the alcohol.
As for the modern science... people are always talking about the science behind losing weight.... but are you aware of the calculations that have to be made in order to lose/burn such and such many calories compared to such and such many calories put into the body?
As for the cutting back on food and the wonders of modern science... unlike alcohol, people have to realize that we cannot cut back from food all together. People have to calculate what it the best calorie intake to their calorie burn. Something one person may think is an excessive amount of food, may be the the exact amount for another. A strongman, power lifter, or body builder can throw back 5,000 calories a day. When training, Michael Phelps eats about 7,000 to 9,000 a day.
On the lifestyle change I am on.... I want to lose at least one pound a week. So... according to my activity level, I have to eat about 2000 calories a day and burn 3,500 calories a week (500 calories a day). *I* eat six small meals a day. Most of the meals are between 200 and 400 calories. Counting about 1,800 to 2,000 (leg days I eat 2,200). I calculate my calorie intake 1. by the activity I have done that day. 2. Really how hungry I am. The two seem to go hand in hand actually.
Calories are energy. Some are better forms of energy than others. Food is gasoline for the body. Some prefer having premium over regular. For those of us losing weight, we have to discover what will give us the optimum energy for less. However... we cannot go under a certain level. If we eat too little... our bodies go into starvation mode and it will hold on to what ever we are putting into it rather than work to lose it. | |
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| dating, bbw and the friends zone.
Posted: 8/7/2009 9:28:25 AM | omg im so sick and tired of these "obese, fat, bbw " what ever treads
if you are fat deal with it, if someone is not attracted to fat people deal with it and move on.
why oh why do we have to keep going on and on and on about this subject?
im over weight and i have no problem about it...i like my self, i think im sexy , if someone does not like to bad.
like ....get over it......
i would like to b*tch slap someone now.....
the new bechlor on tv dating chubby women....all of them cry about their size its phatetic , if you really hate your self that much do something about it
QUIT WHINING | |
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