| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:01:57 AM | I've had to be serious.. NO sense of humor my
whole dam-n life,,,,,,,,,,,,,,....!!!
NOW....
Good,.. Bad.., or just plain goofy...
HUMOR is VERY important....
unless of course it is during foreplay....
more later..
---SoldierByte--- | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:05:29 AM | I want someone who laughs easily because they are easily amused and not because they are snide and like to snicker at other people. You could get either one of those by asking for someone with a sense of humor. It's very important that she be able to make me laugh by saying things that surprise and amuse me, or doing such things, or at least by looking adorably puzzled by simple obstacles, which I find to be cute and endearing. I would be wary of a woman who wanted a man with a sense of humor. She probably is the kind that does mean things then laughs it off when you call her on it. Deflection is one of the darker uses of humor. It seems to me that there is a reliable connection between humor and fun. Laughter often happens when people are having fun. In this sense it depends on how important fun is. The more fun you want, then you probably will get that from humor of some kind. Going one step deeper, if your happiness is important and you require to have fun in order to be happy, then because humor promotes fun and fun increases happiness, this indicates the importance of humor is high when the importance of happiness is high. By now I could easily have written something humorous. I did not, exactly to make a point. Wouldn't it have been so much better to read if here at the end you were laughing heartily instead of barely smiling with one corner of your mouth and feeling like you had wasted your time?
Girls just want to have fun. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:12:42 AM | Someone needs to write a book You know you have a sense of humor when:
(This is a really serious topic now folks, shut up and listen!)
You can joke about someobody to their face and they laugh.
You can tell a joke about yourself and they laugh.
You can find humor in anything.
You can even laugh about all the women who never got to read your funny intro email because they deleted it first. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:28:28 AM |
You can find humor in anything.
You can even laugh about all the women who never got to read your funny intro email because they deleted it first.
...Awwwww, Dave. But I guess one really does need to have a good sense of humour to be on a dating site  ......
...maeflowers | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:29:17 AM |
I would be wary of a woman who wanted a man with a sense of humor. She probably is the kind that does mean things then laughs it off when you call her on it.
I don't have the feeling you were kidding here, but I hope you were. I would assume that a very large majority of women on here specify that they want someone with a sense of humor after dating people who are the opposite of fun; I would not assume that that same majority are the nasty, passive-aggressive people you describe.
Deflection is one of the darker uses of humor.
And you recognize this very quickly and you get away from that person.
Thinking more about it, though, I do think you are correct that most people say they want someone with a sense of humor when what they truly mean is "I want somebody who is fun for me to be around." I imagine humorless types can have fun, too, around other humorless types. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:41:34 AM | | I'm not sure laughing at your jokes is enough. Can she laugh AT you? Can she laugh at herself? How about at the sh!t that life inevitably throws our way. For me it's being able to see the absurdity of it all that matters the most. Yeah, it's an essential ingredient to a successful longterm relationship. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:53:25 AM | Zany humor has its place, and is needed more often than not. One thing I find is that a person who can laugh at themselves is great company. There is something to be said for not taking the world or yourself too seriously.  | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:36:54 AM |
Girls just want to have fun.
Girls don't JUST want to have fun. It is important, but it is not sufficient. If somebody with whom you're in a relationship is sick, or going through a bad time of any sort, the fact that you're not having fun in the moment is not an excuse to bolt from the relationship.
OP: Not jokes, so much. Wit. Quick, funny observations. Not sarcasm. Sarcasm is often hostility couched in "humor." | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:43:20 AM | I think everyone has a sense of humor...but everyone doesn't have a sense of "our" humor.
It's sort of a personal thing.
I don't think humor is all about telling jokes and handing out one liners every chance you
get.
I think a sense of humor is being witty, making funny observations...being amused at life in general.
I also don't like the sarcastic humor...jokes are supposed to be funny...not hostile.
I've met a few people on here that consider themselves stand up comedians and the
thing I've noticed about them...I'm a lot funnier...imo.
But then not everyone gets MY sense of humor.
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:28:42 AM | | I love a man with, what I consider, a great sense of humor. I don't consider slapstick, 3 Stooges, Animal House humor funny. I don't like Laurel and Hardy. I don't like Married With Children. I don't like Benny Hill. I prefer a man with a drier sense of humor... not so blatantly 'out there'. I don't want someone who is 'on' all the time. I love a man who can come up with an amusing, casual, off-the-cuff remark occasionally that just sends me into gales of laughter. I prefer understated when it comes to humor. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:47:45 AM | Humor is an absolute must but it also must be the type of humor I appreciate. Some people laugh when one person degrades another. Me -- not so much. Some people laugh at accidents (whether truly accidents or physical schtick). I don't find either particularly funny. I'm more of any irony and sarcasm kinda person... and George Carlin was smokin hot in my book.   | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:57:25 AM | I come from a funny family. When we are all together, there is always laughter to the point of tears! Invariably, someone always winds up laughing so hard that no sound comes out...we call that "the laugh that only dogs can hear".
We don't sit around telling jokes, we are just conversationally funny. I personally think that it comes from growing up watching sitcoms. We learned how and what was funny. With six of us kids, we always had someone on which to practice and hone our skills. (To the point where I can't watch many sitcoms now because I know what the joke is going to be.)
When dating, I want my date to have that same "conversational" sense of humor, not for my sake, but for his!! I'm sure my sense of humor could be irritating to someone if we didn't share the same style. I find SO many things funny and enjoyable: kids, puppies, old people, life's ironies, and my own humanness. I want someone in my life that will share that laughter, not resent my lack of seriousness.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would like my date not just to have a sense of humor, but for us to share a very SIMILAR sense of humor and laugh at similar things. I think it represents a similarity in values and attitudes. There are very few things more connecting than laughing with someone. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:14:47 PM | Sense of humour is kind of like an accessory to the outfit of a relationship. If the obvious things such as trust and trustworthiness are the legs of the pants, and empathy and compassion the arms of the shirt, then perhaps humour is the ascot or the tie pin. Having said that, though, I am not totally unconvinced that it is actually part of the outfit after all. In my case, perhaps the zipper. And I say this not as an obvious little smirky one-liner.
If I am fully clothed and undo my zipper, my trust and trustworthiness fall to the ground and no matter how long my empathy and compassion are, they cannot reach far enough to lift them. That's why give and take are the stomach and back. That is what bends to bridge the gap.
In a different sense, it is a gap of formidable size that faced my sweetheart and myself in our current relationship.
It would be an easy task for anyone to ferret out my sense of humour. Love it or hate it, it's all there on POF, each bit of goofiness, wit and sarcasm presented with editing much the same as you would find me unedited in real life. Some would go so far as to say I lay it on a bit thick.
My girlfriend, on the other hand...........
If Sense Of Compatibility in Humour, or SOCH (if you will allow me this one indulgence of resorting to HAT [Habitual Anacronymic Tendency{-ies}] ) were a heavily-weighted factor on a dating website, we'd have never been allowed by the system to find each other.
I am not going to cheapen our relationship by identifying her, but I will go so far as to say that you can eliminate any woman whose posts have ever given you the slightest chuckle in these forums.
With certainty, she will stumble upon this post, at which time I shall conjure my best BCS (Boyish Charm Smile), and she will splutter and garruph around a bit until she can no longer keep back the smile that angers her to be smiling and I shall have to suffer the ultimate schooling taunt of the ages along the lines of: "Oh, yeah? Well, a MONGOOSE could write that!"
Ouch. If only there were Banned-Aids for the Ego. And no, there is on such thing as BAE: some things just don't get joked about.
EDIT: It wasn't til later that I figured out that MONGOOSE was an acronym. If only I could figure out what it stands for!?!?! Now all I can think of is acronyms! Argh!!!! I've got AICTOIAS!!!!!! 
But the point is, I believe that I have a sense of humour. Good or bad or whatever, there is evidence that it exists. It would take a Yeti to deliver one of her punchlines.
But we couldn't be more deeply in love. SOCH is an element. Not an essential one. But very useful. If you think you've got a relationship issue, perhaps you should consider the reason for it and put a SOCH in it.
She says that that's what saved our relationship. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:57:16 PM | I'm glad I started this thread. Very interesting to take in the various viewpoints on the subject. What I've gleaned is that a sense of humor is indeed important to all, but the definition of SOH is what is in question. I've always found, as a writer, that humor is almost totally subjective while drama is more objective. Case in point: Truck squashes a puppy - SAD to everyone. Man's pants fall down - FUNNY to some, not all. Now if the truck driver's pants fall down when he gets out of the truck to see what he's done, well, that's just bizarre (but I would find it funny, though most would not).
I recently wrote and directed a stage comedy in Los Angeles. Every night a different audience. Every night a different reaction. Some audiences laughed at everything, some at absolutely nothing. Same lines. Same jokes. It's a mystery.
I do know one thing: I could never date any woman who didn't get my humor, who doesn't get my references. That's why I don't try to date women far younger than I am. I don't want to have to explain who Lenny Bruce was.
The strongest reaction I have to reading all the postings here is to the woman who says she doesn't like The Three Stooges or Laurel and Hardy or Benny Hill. Okay, no women like the stooges and Benny, but Laurel and Hardy? It's not slapstick, though that's part of it. It's highly intelligent humor. Sometimes. How do you feel about Monty Python, which employs both high and low comedy?
Of course, I think the highest example of humor I can think of is Pinky & The Brain. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 2:31:06 PM | Pinky and the Brain is hysterical. I love it. Have also loved Laurel and Hardy, Monty Python, (I read Cleese's blogs and twitter, he's still so funny!) My current favorite comedy on TV is The Big Bang Theory. I always get a big guffaw from it. Probably because I'm a bit of a geek myself so I get the jokes.
I agree that humor is subjective. Not everyone gets my sense of humor but I just figure they don't have as wide a range of reference as I do. I told my sons that they need to read the bible no matter what they believe so they will get the jokes. (Hope I don't get fried for that.)
I admit, I'm not a big fan of body function humor or humor that depends on a victim.
Hence the female aversion to sex... as Woody Allen so astutely put it: sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Female aversion to sex? Geesh, you must be meeting the wrong females! I can't believe some people have sex without laughing. Sex IS funny! and fun.
ps. ahoytheredave. Your profile and some of your posts are very funny! | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:38:12 PM |
And what do you mean by sense of humor?
Laughing at your jokes?
Not so much my jokes, I don't tell very good jokes or tell jokes very well, but if a guy I'm interested likes to tell jokes, I'll listen, and laugh. I'll either be laughing at the joke or laughing because he felt the joke was funny and I didn't so I'll think that's funny. Weird, I know.
The ability to say witty things, make witty observations?
That trait in a man makes me swoon! There's nothing better than being in the middle of a semi-serious conversation, than when a guy throws out some random witty thought! That catches me off guard, makes me aware that maybe life shouldn't always be taken so seriously and 'tis better to smile than frown!
Or is it seeing the humor in the tragedy that is life?
At times when tragedy strikes and the heart is heavy, what better to lift it and hold it than the smile and understanding of the man you love? If in a somber mood over a tragedy, the one you love will know you so well that they'll know when it's a good time to laugh and when it's a good time to be still. It's all good.
I tend to find humor in things that are intended to be funny, and in things that aren't intended to be funny.
A sense of humor is a quality I adore in a man. It's not the most important quality of a man or a relationship, but it's definitely one of the more important ones. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 4:48:54 PM | | You exhibit a sense of humor by laughing at things that are funny even if the joke is on you. To be humorous is something else altogether. So maybe one should really specify what they mean when writing their profiles. I have met many nice people who love to and laugh often who just don't posses the timing to be humorous. Timing is everything. Even the 71 year old guy with a lamp shade on his head can still be funny if you catch the right moment(maybe one of those red hat lady luncheons after their smashed) and there were people who thought you were an idiot at 17 as well. (red lampshade of course) | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 5:00:10 PM | | It's very important but that doesn't mean I want to date The Three Stooges for goodness sake....................I mean everything in perspective, you know. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 5:10:32 PM | | By the way, I have a gorilla suit and like to drive around in it from time to time just to watch peoples reactions. Most people think that's funny weird not funny ha ha, but. if you could see their faces....... sometimes I actually have to find a gas station to pee and if you think that's easy in a gorilla suit... you just haven't ridden around in a gorilla suit enough. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 5:34:40 PM |
MONGOOSE was an acronym[/unquote]
okay, i'll bite:
Men On Net Going Oneiric Or Spirally Eclectic
Mean Onerous Numbers Give Orbits Oozing Sensitive E-communication
surely someone can do much better than this! i suck at puns, too, which i also dislike for some reason, even when they're really really clever... | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 5:39:06 PM | Depends.
Women always SAY that they want a man w/ a sense of humor...
But that usually means that they want somebody who thinks what THEY think is funny...is funny.
IMHO, if we can laugh together easily...that may be more important than having a "sense of humor." | |
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