| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/6/2009 2:12:35 PM | I think it's pretty important. It is to me anyway, I don't like a dry sense of humor but again that's me because often I am left in the dark. I can't tell if it was supposed to be funny or just rude. I like more the off the cuff wit that just flows.
Everyone has had some great comments. I loved reading it. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/7/2009 3:41:57 PM | I think that these days, a sense of humour is more important than ever & I find a man that has a good one [sense of humour  ], very sexy. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/7/2009 4:36:27 PM | A sense of humor is very important to me. I don't mean you've got to be Robin Williams, but a quick wit, dry humor, a unique and comical way of putting things, getting jokes and quirky observances on life really do it for me.
Example. Years ago, my then boyfriend and I were driving up to Lake Placid to do some hiking. We were having a discussion about some physical activity and he said, "if you do that wrong, it could be very fatal." There was this moment of silence, then we both burst out laughing. I said I didn't think there were degrees of fatal; it either was or wasn't. Yeah, sounds dumb, but things like that tend to bond us. Down the road, we'd hear something relevant to that, look at each other and say quietly, "very fatal." Never failed to crack us up.
Example. Young lady who worked for my chiropractor was talking about her extended family. Each birth parent had been re-married multiple times and she had scads of half-sisters, half-brothers, cousins that were also half-sisters, very confusing. My chiro listened to all this, then said, "You don't have a family tree. You have shrubbery!" We all about died laughing. He's a very comical guy who doesn't think he's funny. We've all spent years trying to tell and show him how he really is.
A good sense of humor is right up there along with great shoulders, curly hair and a Harley. Or a Goldwing. I'm not too picky. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:30:44 AM | A sense of humour is not at all important.
PS - If you are so intensely in love with a woman with a sharp wit to the point of giving up all control to her, are you then puzzy quipped? | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/8/2009 9:18:34 AM |
.........the stuff many people don't get. I love to laugh and the biggest laughs I have are usually from a spontaneous exchange with someone. .........and it makes them laugh too. ....I think that we all think the best sense of humor is the one that is compatible with ours.
Yes, and they say a good, hearty laugh is good for your health, too. 
you will not last long in this life without a sense f humor about the world or yourself. It's not so much about laughing as it is about being able to deal with life as it is and enjoying it! It also relieves the typical stree in life that most if all of us don't have in one form or another. No need to be a jackass just see the comedy in life!
And a finely tuned sense of the absurd. I like to trip people up with "nonsequitors," especially around really serious people. It's especially delicious if they never get it.
I was loading up my boat for the long weekend and having to clambor over the transome off the dock. One of the hanger-arounds said, "Tide's really high, huh?"
I looked around and said, "Yeah, Wow! Look at that! It's all the way up to the bottoms of the boats!"
It took him a minite to even feel the breeze as it zinged over his head. LOL
 Wicked, I know. But one must have one's little pleasures. As Olympia Dukacus said in Steel Magnoilias, "If you can't say anything nice, come sit by me." 
 
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/8/2009 9:36:34 AM | The OP strikes a nerve. And although 99% of the profiles I read say they are looking for a sense of humor, I don't think most women here even understand what it means. I get much better responses when I've tried to be serious on my profile. Of course I gave that up a long time ago and only try to be off the wall anymore. Outside of an occasional note that I had someone spitting their coffee all over their keyboard from laughter, it doesn't go far here.
This might be serious business but not many can see the humor in it. It's been said that you can turn painful situations around with laughter and you can survive anything if you can see the humor in it. However, when it comes to online personals, women are a bunch of tight as--s. ... (Bet I'm in trouble now.) | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:14:59 PM | I've always found that people who ask if you have a sense of humor almost never have one themselves.
If the other person is funny...then it's readily apparent.
If they are not...that's also readily apparent.
IMHO, talking about a "sense of humor" is usually a way to have humor leave the situation. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/9/2009 6:44:21 AM | | A sense of humor is relative and like cuisine -- there are so many flavors that not everyone is going to enjoy every dish on the menu. Personally, I have yet to laugh at stand-up comedy finding it too forced and contrived. But give me a good BritCom or black comedy and I'm on the floor with hysterics. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:39:37 AM | Well, HL...
A minister, a priest and a rabbi walked into a bar.....
A sense of humor is important. I don't want to be with someone who never smiles or laughs. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:50:55 AM | In my observation, having a good sense of humor is similar to being sexy. I think they're related in a way because some people naturally have a sense of humor and some people are just very sexy.
Someone who is sexy to me, and I mean naturally sexy, isn't the woman with the short skirt, the bikini bod, or the big boobs pouring out of her blouse. It isn't the guy who makes sure you're impressed with his hotness or wishes you to know he'll only date certain kinds of women or has way too many pictures of himself on his profile (ok ok we get the picture!).
The same holds true for a sense of humor. Like trying to be sexy is a turn-off, trying to be funny is, too. I think a lot of people with a good sense of humor understand that humor isn't something you put on, it comes from within you. It's a natural part of your personality, and it's more of a gift.
I wish I were a musician. I would love to be able to sing. I admire some people who are naturally gifted musically. I learned how to play several instruments and that was good, but I know I don't have any natural talent. At least I know how to read music.
I've watched American Idol and there are some people that seem to have no idea they can't sing well. I wonder if they were raised by parents who were never critical and who always told them, "You're so talented, you can do anything as long as you work hard at it!"
And some people just aren't funny. They like the appeal of the stage and wish themselves to be comics, but instead they live within a quasi self-deception about their lack of real talent. You can't tell them they aren't funny because they're just trying too hard. Seinfeld's Michael Richards demonstrated how ugly a sense of humor gone bad can actually be when he had his meltdown doing stand up.
You can't force humor just like you can't force love. If you try to force humor into a situation instead of allowing the situation to become truly humorous and being gifted at seeing and finding the humor, then you don't really have a good sense of humor in my opinion. Trying to be funny isn't humorous to me. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/10/2009 4:28:27 AM | I think the ability to laugh at oneself, and to see the absurdity in life is paramount. Not telling jokes, not laughing at my poor jokes, not an endless stream of witty remarks, but the ability to see the positive, the funny, and to just be able to let go and laugh so hard tears stream down your cheeks at times.
No, not making a joke out of everything; it's not being perpetually irreverent and sarcastic, but can let go and be silly at times and have fun.
I know enough people my age who are old farts and boring as heck, because they take things way to seriously, are rigid in their thinking, and just 'grown-ups.' | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/10/2009 4:56:40 AM | | For me a sense of humor is very important, but not the most important thing. The most important things for me would be a tie between a love for family life and our common goals and interests. As far as the humor goes though, I don't think just any sense of humor would do. I think that a similar wit between two people jibes better. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:38:38 PM | Hey Spottyjackson!
I thought your comment was hilarious:
"so a woman who thinks a sense of humor is laughing at her jokes is way off base (per your comments), but then you go on to say that while this is not "the most important quality" that you look for in a woman, it's cool as long as she laughs at yours??
you sound like you're just annoyed at the fact that the women you've met DON'T laugh at your jokes......hmm, maybe this means you should find a new profession "funny person".
But seriously, everyone laughs at what I consider funny because I AM funny. I can't help it. If I want a person to laugh they will generally laugh. People pay me money to be funny. My OP was about the fact that women almost always say that a SOH is important, but they often end up with guys who have money or looks or power but no appreciable SOH. So, how important is a SOH really?
So this guy goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him "You're going to have to stop masturbating." The guy says "WHY???" The doctor says "Because I'm trying to examine you."
That is empirically funny. If you don't think so you have SOH . IMHO. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/12/2009 5:24:44 AM | That is empirically funny. If you don't think so you have SOH . IMHO.
Hey Op,
I'm guessing you meant to say, "If you don't think so you have no SOH." The problem with that is I hear you saying that unless you laugh at that joke, which you consider to be "empirically funny", you have zero SOH. So, you're judging a person's humor based on their response to that joke?
You're joking, right?
I didn't think the joke was that funny, personally. I thought it was distasteful. So, I guess in your humble opinion, I have no sense of humor?
Hey! That's not very funny! | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/12/2009 12:22:55 PM | | A sense of humour I'd found is always quite subjective, which is what I think you said, but I think it's important that your shared views on humour agree with a perspective partners. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/12/2009 12:37:14 PM | | I agree with message 102 on this one! Although there are sometimes that I don't quite "get it". Yep how can we not have a sense of humor and hope to maintain our sanity especially at our age. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/12/2009 1:20:54 PM | OP,
A couple of us were wondering if Spottyjackson was someone you dated! You disappeared and I thought you two crazy kids kissed and made up. Guess not. LOL!
Bottom line ... either you click with someones SOH or you don't. Just like you either click sexually with someone or you don't. Many factors determine weather or not you do ... I think a big factor is being on the same intellectual level. No right or wrong here ... I just get along better with people of my own mind set. The more voices they hear the better off we'll be.
 (YIKES! The voices are after me!) | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/12/2009 2:56:57 PM | SpiceSea -
You're right : I meant to say if you don't think that joke is funny than you have NO sense of humor.
And I agree with that statement still. It is a funny joke, always gets laughs. I use it as an example because not only is it very funny, but it is a racy joke. I like racy jokes. I would never date someone who thought that joke was "distasteful". That doesn't make you a bad person, just one probably not compatible with me.
Now let me say that I would NEVER tell a sexy joke on a first date or probably any joke at all. Neither would I do a card trick. Most of my humor is ad lib, not prepared or written jokes or material. I think a guy who tells jokes on a first date is kinda lame.
Now about whether or not you have no sense of humor if you didn't find the joke funny: You might have a sense of humor, just a more reserved one than I do. And I would judge a person based on their reaction to a dirty joke, to a blasphemous joke, to a sick joke, etc. Just as I would judge a person based on political views.
But whether or not you find jokes about masturbation distasteful or not, the joke is funny. Most people think so. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/12/2009 3:05:03 PM | Qteepi:
No, I have no idea who Spottyjackson is. I don't think it's my ex-wife in disguise and there are no women I've dated who didn't find me at least amusing for most of our dating life. And there is at least one contributor to this thread that I have dated!
I agree with you: it's all about compatibility. SpicySea and I are probably not compatible, though she may be a great person, drop dead gorgeous and great in bed. But I'm guessing that if you find mildly erotic jokes to be "distasteful" your sexual appetites are most likely on the conservative side, too. I may be wrong about that and I'd be happy to conduct a survey, but it seems that all of the women on POF with whom I might be compatible live thousands of miles away. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/12/2009 3:18:21 PM | From Vicshe:
"Here's a Vanity Fair article written by Christopher Hitchens about humor and gender:
http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/01/hitchens200701?printable=true¤tPage=all"
Do read this article! It explains a lot. It all boils down to that fact that men are more childish than women, a perception with which I am in total agreement. | |
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