| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 2:27:30 PM | If you're telling us that women never use PMS as an excuse for bad behavior then it begs the question- where have you been for, well, all of my life, and I'm sure many many years prior to that?
As for women having testosterone- it's a moot point: ever see the movie Southern Comfort, the documentary about the post-op FTM transsexual? Her experiences when first getting on testosterone, that is, in quantities men have, are unforgettable.
Regardless, you seem to want to just counter what someone is saying just for the sake of saying something. You claim you want us to educate ourselves, but you seem completely unaware of society at large, and how much of a cliche it is/had been to blame bad behavior on PMS.
Do you doubt me? yes, you do.
Hormonal fluctuations in men were not fully monitored until the early 2000s. It's called IMS, and has even led to men committing suicide.
Just because you are out of date is no reason to insult others with your moot points and educating us on PMS, again moot, as you are still in completely ignorance or disbelief of social norms for the past 30 years. It also shows a distinct lack of compassion and understanding on your part to downplay male hormonal shifts (which, funny enough, is the very thing society has taught us to do, begging the question- how can you be so ignorant of social cliches, and yet be the perfect Social Puppet?)
Before blasting men, in general, and giving us an irrelevant lesson on PMS, maybe you should, with all your 51 years, do a little research on the "other side", as men have catered for generations to women in understanding, now perhaps it should be your turn to return the favor.
SUPPORT SUPPORT SUPPORT- from other humans who KNOW of what they speak. (that's mockery, fyi, I'm not sure if you've encountered that in your 51 years of clinical studies) | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 2:39:54 PM | | Yeah, when i was in School, Gym usually helped out a lot. Especially when i was cramping or something it kinda just went away. Now, that im out of school. it just comes back. I think i should invest in a tredmill. lol | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:10:20 PM | For a number of years my daughter an I shared a home, just the two of us. Everything would go along peacefully but then out of left field we'd be snipping and sniping away at each other. 'Cause we'd get in sync.
So we began marking it on the calendar, as robertslovequest mentioned with his first love. And we'd try to plan separate activities for a few days . . helped some!
But, I have always noticed the big difference that exercise made on all of my menstrual symptoms including crazy mood swings, so yes, get that treadmill!! | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:28:44 PM | Ok - I can't resist.
Severin,
When you wrote your last post, were you experiencing IMS? Cause you seem really angry. If men's hormones have only been monitored beginning 6 or seven years ago, it's not a surprise that few people know what you are talking about. Why not inform us? Why attack people who have not yet heard of this?
You talk about pms as if it is a purely imaginary condition, invented by women so they can get away with bad behavior. Is this what you mean to say? Or, do you acknowledge that there is a real physiological/biochemical basis for the moods etc., women experience around their period?
People sill use all kinds of real conditions as excuses now and then or often as the case may be. But that doesn't mean the condition is invented or imagined.
Op has asked for help in dealing with her moods, so she is making the attempt to be responsible for herself and NOT "use pms as an excuse." | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:45:19 PM | Go get on the Pill, if it is ok for you to have it. It will stop the PMS and if you are at the pre-menopausal age, then it will stop those problems as well.
PMS is no joke. Pay attention boys, mark it on the calendar, and be extra sweet to us during that time, and never ever blame anything we do on PMS. That is grounds for permanent physical damage.
Beth | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:54:42 PM |
Pay attention boys, mark it on the calendar, and be extra sweet to us during that time, and never ever blame anything we do on PMS. That is grounds for permanent physical damage.
Um yea. And here we see Severin's point firmly proven. ^^^ | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:58:37 PM |
the disease is caused by an excess of estrogen and a definiency of progesterone Mightn't it be a logical idea to see a reproductive endocrinologist to remedy the problem?
If you're going to call it a "syndrome" or a "disorder" or even a "disease" then one should seek professional help for it, and monitor the problem with proper follow-up treatment. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 4:03:51 PM | its not even that im really a jerk, it really just seems that i get emotional, and that i feel unloved and that they dont want to be with me, and then i just end it.
I dont think its worthy for boys to have to mark on the calender, maybe myself realizing that im PMSing and not to end anything lol | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 4:22:28 PM |  tashrawr > smart chick!!
I dont think its worthy for boys to have to mark on the calender, maybe myself realizing that im PMSing and not to end anything lol
that's where it helps to have support from women friends.. tell your closest that you have that tendency and then when it starts you hve someone to talk to .. without scaring off a good man!! :)
best! | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 4:41:29 PM | it really just seems that i get emotional, and that i feel unloved and that they dont want to be with me, and then i just end it.
Preemptive strike. Ya, we guys have heard of it...
its not even that im really a jerk
That's one (PMS'ing) woman's opinion....
PMS is NOT used as an excuse by (most) women
Think again...
It IS a very real, and for some - a Horrible experience.
Ya, just ask a guy who has had to be a captive audience... | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 7:22:14 PM | Dear Ms. tashrawr,
If I may suggest, please notice that your moon cycle is a powerful time for a woman. Instead of giving attention to all that you have heard about "PMS" pay attention to what your body is asking of you. This requires really listening to your intuition and giving yourself the nurturing you body needs in the moment. Think about it?! Every month your body gets ready to produce a life, why not investigate it as a mystery instead of a problem?? All I ask, find out the power you have as a woman and make it an adventure in your life!
Hope this helps!  | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:06:22 PM | | I was in a LTR with a woman with the same problem. We were even engaged and we stuck in out for 3 years. I genuinely felt bad for her. As the only male growing up in an estrogen dominated household, it was nothing new or scary of confusing to me. Oh I could be as supportive as humanly possible, but there where times when the best thing to do (we agreed) was for me to go to my house for the night. It took TONS of communication to work out, but we did. The end of the relationship, oddly enough, had nothing to do with her going predatory 5 days a month. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:36:44 AM | Sweetie
See a doctor and talk to them about it. You may have PMDD. That's a more severe form of PMS. Exercise is your friend. Water as well and yes lower your salt intake and sometimes journaling helps. Oh, and if you're with a partner, sex, believe it or not, for some of us, really helps too.
To the so-called educated men who are saying it's imaginary and an excuse giver...no. Now SOME people will use any illness as a reason to be ignorant. Severin you speak of IMS...that's a real issue I'm sure but since it is a newer concept than PMS, as someone else said, most people probably don't know about it. I don't hear any guys chiming in about IMS...(chirping crickets).
SOME women do use PMS/PMDD as a way to excuse jacked up behavior. Some of us who know what's going on realize it early on and learn how to deal with the issues.
At 19, you've got a looooooooonnnnnnnngggg time (unless something happens) to go through this. Learn how to manage it now before it becomes a bigger issue. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:58:52 AM | Thanks : )
Its wierd though because ive had my period since i was 12 and i feel like i really should have better control. I just entered a relationship and my boyfriend already notices it, but he laughs at me and my "itty bitty mood swings" i guess maybe i just need a guy who understands and doesnt feel threatened or something?
hmmm *ponders* Maybe or maybe im wrong??? | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:28:31 AM | | I think you need someone understanding Tashrawr; and if the boys you are with are not able to provide that than perhaps waiting is in order until you find the right one. There are a lot of great suggestions from the women and maybe one male in this thread, try to follow the advice that sounds right for you n__n | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:43:56 AM | OP - you asked about weight gain with birth control - You are 19 - at most from birth control alone, you might gain 5 - 10 lbs. Easily removable just by upping your physical exercise. A couple of bike rides a week or a couple long walks, you'll be fine. Birth control pills have helped a LOT of women who suffered from PMS and mood swings. I would contact your local planned parenthood and set up an appt.
As for making decisions about relationships right now (while you are PMS'ing..) I would hold off on that. You know as well as anyone that during PMS, we can' barely think straight let alone make a good solid decision.
I just entered a relationship and my boyfriend already notices it, but he laughs at me and my "itty bitty mood swings" i guess maybe i just need a guy who understands and doesnt feel threatened or something? I don't think he feels threatened... he recognizes the problem and is trying to cope with it by joking about it or laughing. Right now you find it irritating because well... your hormones are going nuts! But next week you'll look back and see the same humor in it that he does. Again.. hold off on making important decisions until your hormones are back in check!
Good luck to ya!
(And yes...Ben and Jerry's ROCKS!!! I'll take Chunky Monkey though. MMMMM!) | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/2/2009 8:44:29 AM | i guess maybe i just need a guy who understands and doesnt feel threatened or something?
Or maybe you just need to not be such a raging b1tch?
Seriously, women, PMS and your hormones are your problem, you deal with it. Let me get this straight, hormones are now a perfectly legitimate excuse for bad behavior, and men just need to be more understanding and put up with and forgive that bad behavior when you are going through these hormone fluctuations?
Okay, fair enough, but how about when the man you are in a relationship with cheats on you because his sexual hormones were in overdrive that day. Is he then allowed to brush off that bad behavior and say that you just need to be more understanding?
After all, testosterone is king of the sex hormones, and you ladies just don't understand what it is like walking around all the time with that much sex drive, you need to just be more understanding. That cute secretary at work is like our Ben & Jerry's.
Or are we expected to keep our hormones in check, despite their fluctuations? If so, then you need to do it as well, otherwise we can certainly find someone else far more pleasant to be around for that week. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:08:55 AM | | In my experience over the years, during that time of the month when I may have been slightly more irritable than the rest of the month, I never vented about anything that I was not already irritated about beforehand. A good trick I learned was not to try to discuss it during that time but to wait until I was in a more reasonable mood and then discuss it. That time was a great time to identify things that were bothering me though :) | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:56:41 AM | Well, I am not a doctor or a woman, but I sincerely believe that you are in control of your own emotions and actions at all times. Even if those chemicals do actually affect the mind, your actions still have the same concequenses.
To me, women blaming inane or atrocious acts on PMS are the same as the men who blame them on their testosterone. Individual needs to learn to take responsability for their own actions. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:26:02 AM | I am a woman - in my 50's. I've experience PMS and a variety of other women's body phases.. I've also got a couple years of research And working with literally hundreds of women of various ages - esp on the 'issue' of PMS ..
Well, I am not a doctor or a woman,
so .. you Don't "Know" of what you speak.
OP - Don't get into blaming yourself for what you didn't know Before. You now have the opportunity and some 'good' advice (esp from Most of the women and A 'Man') on this thread.. Take the good and toss the bad!
Good luck finding that Mr. Right!
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