| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:51:18 PM | Well Marianne, no, with the amount of resources and research available today, I don't think that age or even personal experience is the absolute determinant for knowledge on any subject. If I have to choose between the word of a stranger with very subjective personal experience or the hard data provided by professionals and research, I'm going with the latter. In any case, we are now getting off topic.
To tashrawr, this is very unfortunate news. I can only hope that this knowledge will now help you better identify and control this condition that has probably been a very difficult and negative agent in your life. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:24:42 PM | OP, I have heard from female friends that PMDD is much worse than PMS. I myself have suffered from horrible PMS in the past, but it's not near as bad now that I've been treated for it, but it's still not fun. Oh well it's me and I won't apologize to anyone for it.
Just ignore the little boys who have posted thinking their experts on the issue. PMS, PMDD, and periods are part of being a woman so men need to learn to deal with that, but rather they complain how imperfect we are. Yep well nobody's perfect, we are all human and women should not be ashamed of being a woman.
I'm glad your getting the medical care you need. :) | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:29:29 PM | | roninvince, so you believe what a doctor says is right when they get their education from a textbook? I personally take a doctor's information minimally preferring the experience of friends and my own knowledge about my own body. I will seek medical care for an issue if necessary, but I'm very proactive in that area and if I don't agree with a doctor's opinion I will discuss it with that doctor and that doctor will know my thoughts and feelings. You should not 100 percent rely on professionals and research, but rather the knowledge and experience of real individuals who are experiencing medical issues. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:47:31 PM | Tash, you are not alone. PMS is very real and can have an effect on your life in general. Lucky you are young and can learn to recognize when your mood changes for no apparent reason. To some extent it can be mind over matter...it doesn't happen for me often any more as I am on Mirena...a 5 year form of birth control. 1. No cycle 2. No drastic mood swings 3. Nominal weight gain.
Anyway, I still keep track of when I should be starting my cycle and if I feel that my mood is out of wack I simply walk it off. On rare occasions I have had the case of the blues and once I realize what time of month it should be I can usually laugh it off.
To the men out there that say it's not real or just an excuse, I'd really like to see any of you handle the hormones internally. Good luck with that! Not sure which would increase faster the suicide rate or the murder rate.
The only thing I don't agree with are women who will repeatedly use it as an excuse 24/7- 365 and expect anyone to walk on eggshells all the time. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:52:35 PM | | Kimber, I have Mirena too and it works fab! No bloating, no period, and no weight gain. I still get the food cravings and a bit of crankiness, but oh well. Mirena is much better for PMS and periods than the pill, for me anyway. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:04:43 PM | | ^^^it's been the best form of birth control I have ever used. I highly recommend it. Not all people can use it though, I have had friends whose system rejected it. I only had one episode within 48 hours of getting it that made me very ill. It's been great for the past 4 years. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:08:29 PM | | Kimber, yes it is the best form of bc and the most effective as well. True there are some women whose bodies for whatever reason cannot handle it. Usually women who have not had children face the rejection aspect more than women who have gotten it and had kids. I got mine last August and no regrets. 48 hours? You were so lucky. For me it took about 4 or 5 weeks before I felt ok again. Also it should be inserted when a woman is menstruating as the uterus is soft at that time and it makes insertion by a gyne easier. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:02:01 AM | There has been considerable research on PMS in recent years.
I saw a presentation last year by Dr. Shaila Misri of St.Paul's Hospital in Vancouver. She is also a clinical professor at the University of British Columbia. She is a psychiatrist who specializes in women's mental health. She defined Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, which is a really bad form of PMS. She's a researcher and she has identified a number of treatments for PMS.
http://www.wellmother.com/
That's a link that should lead to an article about women's mental health and PMS. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:03:25 AM | | Thanks everyone for being positive mainly :) And no ive never mentioned it to an ex that i regreted breaking up with him....to me it just sounds embarresing or something around there...idk | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/5/2009 5:27:38 PM |
Well Marianne, no, with the amount of resources and research available today, I don't think that age or even personal experience is the absolute determinant for knowledge on any subject. If I have to choose between the word of a stranger with very subjective personal experience or the hard data provided by professionals and research, I'm going with the latter.
Well, Ron, I, for one, would not assume that a person who shares his/her personal experience hasn't ALSO done the same research of hard data that you have done. The access to information being equal ( old folks can google, too, ya know), then age and personal relevant experience most definitely add weight to that person's opinion. Back on topic now.....
PMS is real and it sucks. If I knew my loved one was dealing with it, I would show care and consideration for the person I loved. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:04:05 PM | You know, I really don't think the average woman is any more sympathetic to male hormone issues; hell, most women on these very forums have stated that they wouldn't stick around for a man who suffers from depression. The suicide rate in men is four times higher than it is in women, yet no one really seems to care. Prostate cancer claims nearly just as many lives as breast cancer does but only gets about one fourth the funding.
Men have no way of knowing what women go through but women don't have any way of knowing what men go through either. Why are you holding against men the fact that they weren't born as women? In my experience, the average man is a lot more considerate than you give him credit for. To put it simply, men aren't half as bad as women make them out to be but women almost seem to be just as bad as they make men out to be. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:14:58 PM |
It seems like a majority of guys dont believe in showing consideration for pms
That may have a lot to do with the difference between consideration and emotional blackmail.
See, I know the difference. I was with my ex fiancé for 6 years and had more than ample opportunity to experience the monthly bouts. The greatest thing was, she knew the difference too. She knew the difference between consideration and blackmail.
I was considerate to her monthly cycle in saying that I understood she didn't really wanna be touched or coddled for a few days, and had weird eating habits during that time, and mood swings and what have you. Regrettably there are some women that take those cycles to the extreme and use their PMS as a vehicle to what's tantamount to emotional blackmail, or they use their cycle as the monthly "get outta jail free" card.
You know...the "I can do whatever I want and act however I want and say whatever I want because I'm on the rag so you can't hold it against me" card.
Yea, that one.
Or the crying jags to get attention. The constant need for fluff and validation. The pandering. I can go on for days. This constitutes the emotional blackmail part.
So you're wrong. It's not that the majority of guys don't show consideration...the majority of guys are just gettin' very savvy to the emotional blackmail types in a hurry and women don't like that.
Not one bit.
But don't misunderstand me...men use emotional blackmail too. Ever seen a man get sick? WHINIEST b*stards alive at that point, and expect their women to "understand". They're too tired for this, or too tired for that, or too stuffed up, or congested, or achy...wah wah wah. So don't worry, men do this emotional blackmail stuff too. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:54:30 PM |
It seems like a majority of guys dont believe in showing consideration for pms, probably because they cant experience it the way we do?
Wrong. Sorry that you don't think that men have sympathy or empathy for another's suffering. But we do.
We are women, we get periods and PMS so men need to deal with that!
No. No one "needs" to deal with anything. It's a choice whether we deal with anything. If you're unbearable to be around, then don't put the onus on others to overcompensate and walk on eggshells around you because of your PMS.
It's not a get out of jail free card to lash out and become petulant and abusive.
If I'm moody or feeling ill, I withdraw so that I don't become a burden to others or put a black cloud over the household. I'm not in the need of a pity party.
Mine varies, but there are times when i seem to get very ummm...lets just say irrational
Bzzzzzt.... Wrong answer.
Sorry.....
If you tell me that you lose the capability of controlling your actions, reactions and the ability to be rational because of PMS, then I suggest you don a helmet and take the "short" bus everywhere you go.
Lol guys should have children
Why? Because only women bleed?
Reality check....
Stop bragging about enduring pain…
I've never had children, but have had 3 serious motorcycle accidents ( over a 20 year period) that had me in recovery for many months. First one, dislocated left shoulder, 6 months recovery. Second one, dislocated same shoulder, cracked ribs, and torn ligaments in left knee.
Most recent one. Hyper extended left knee, lacerations to thigh, torn ligaments in left knee, nerve damage to left foot, abrasions to hands, knees, elbows and feet, and numerous bruises.
My ex, who had two kids ( both natural childbirth) couldn't believe how I endured the pain and rehabilitation after my last accident where they didn't know if I'd ever walk normal again. I couldn't even drive my own car, because it was a manual transmission, for 6 months, because I couldn't bend my left leg more than 10% or put any weight on it for over 3 months because of severe lacerations and damages to the ligaments in my knee and nerve damage to my foot.
I never missed one day’s worth of work. I hobbled around on one leg for months. I couldn't take pain killers as they make me lethargic, and the demands of my business would not allow it.
Stop demanding a purple heart medal for enduring the pain of childbirth.
There’s no need to rub it in the faces of men that women give birth. Nobody is forcing you to have kids....
OP, NEVER apologize to anyone for being a woman! Keep your head up high and proud!
Ohhh, puhleeze.....
Give it a rest already.... | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:36:19 AM | Do we or do we not have the ability to control what we say, and how we treat others no matter how we feel?
I've known a great deal of females in my time...some have dealt with 'PMS' with humor, others play the biatch card, others don't change at all…kind of makes you wonder doesn't it?
Sorry ladies, I ain't sure I'm buying what you're selling...
BDJ...a real man doesn't go wimpy when he's sick, only the phony ones do. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:11:44 AM |
Lol guys should have children
Well I have kids AND I've passed kidney stones. So I can say that I've had a reasonable facsimile of what any woman who has given birth has experienced in terms of pain.
I've had pain sooo bad at times that talking took effort, walking or standing was impossible and I'd be nauseous and throw up.
And Tylenol 3 (with codine)? Did nothing... didn't even take the edge off. Only Morphine or Demerol would do. In the case of Demerol, I'd still feel some pain, but it brought it down to a tolerable level. As for morphine... gets rid of the pain... but whoa it's powerful stuff. And I know it's a highly addictive opiate, so I've shied away from it.
And you know what? While I was in pain, I controlled myself and I would tell people to not talk to me more than they had to. I didn't bite people's heads off... I didn't break up with people... I controlled myself.
And having said that, I have to agree with Verity and BDJ.
If you've got bad PMS, go see a doctor. And if you had guys breaking up with you during that time, then it's clear you've got it bad.
If you've got bad PMS and DON'T see a doctor AND use it as a lousy excuse for bad behaviour, that's the hallmark of immaturity and irresponsibility.
But OP... what you have may not necessarily be PMS. I've known some people with thyroid issues that causes big behavioural swings too.
Either way... if what you have is so bad that guys are breaking up with you, then you should go see a doctor. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:39:27 PM |
So I can say that I've had a reasonable facsimile of what any woman who has given birth has experienced in terms of pain.
No. You most assuredly do not. I have had a broken nose, corrective surgery on my nose, a broken tibia, a severe scratch on my cornea, migraine AND cluster headaches , cystitis, and I had a child by c-section. NONE of those things compared to the pain of natural childbirth.
I do not doubt that what you suffered was painful, but you have no point of reference for the whole childbirth pain experience, so you should not use it. That would be like me claiming I know how horrible it feels to be kicked in the balls.
I've had pain sooo bad at times that talking took effort, walking or standing was impossible and I'd be nauseous and throw up.
Me too, and that's just from the migraine.
And you know what? While I was in pain, I controlled myself and I would tell people to not talk to me more than they had to. I didn't bite people's heads off... I didn't break up with people... I controlled myself.
Yes, but the problem, as I pointed out in a previous post is that some people just don't seem to "get" it. Some people simply cannot seem to hear "leave me alone", without taking it personally. Some people try to be kind in ways that make sense to THEM, which is pretty egotistical when you think about it. When I have PMS, or some other physical problem, I really prefer to be left alone. The truth is, if a person says they want to be left alone, and you chose to not comply with his/her wishes, you might get your head bitten off.... | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:42:41 AM | That would be like me claiming I know how horrible it feels to be kicked in the balls.
Actually, now that you mentioned it, that one ONE aspect of kidney stone pain... the feeling of getting kicked in the balls... only the pain doesn't go away and it radiates around the side and up the back.
And I'm only saying that it's comparable to the pain of regular child birth because that's what more than one doctor said to me.
If you want to disagree that kidney stone pain is as bad as child birth pain, well you can take it up with the medical establishment.
At least after all that pain, you had a baby to show for it.
All I had to show for my pain was a little calcium-oxalate rock.
Edit: Marianne... I just realized something. You and I must be getting old. We're spending our time talking about our aches and pains and sharing stories about it. My parents used to do that... along with having conversations about who worked harder and who was more tired...
Geez... soon I'll be buying some Geritol... | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/8/2009 10:53:38 AM | And I'm only saying that it's comparable to the pain of regular child birth because that's what more than one doctor said to me.
And I'm only saying that unless the doctor had both kidney stones and natural childbirth, she wouldn't really be a judge of that...
Edit: Marianne... I just realized something. You and I must be getting old. We're spending our time talking about our aches and pains and sharing stories about it.
LOL....well, none of MY aches and pains are associated with old age. In fact, most of my gripes (migraine, childbirth, PMS) are happening because I am still young and fertile, sonny!  | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:06:27 AM | your not the only woman, in fact there is far worst then you (this is why there is so much studies on the subject...for men sake LOL!)
There is yet no magical trick to cope or to deal with such behavioral changes, but you can help yourself to atone a bit the sympoms by addapting your diet in accordance to the methabolic change PMS brings:
add: magnesium, chromium, manganese,vitamin B1,zinc and iron via supplements and a dose of exercises. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:28:34 AM |
And I'm only saying that unless the doctor had both kidney stones and natural childbirth, she wouldn't really be a judge of that...
Actually now that you mentioned THAT, one doctor WAS a female who had both (note that I had 4 stones... one every 2-3 years from my late teens and into my 20s)... but then she might also have had a relatively easy birth and a problematic stone. I've heard of some cases where a woman gives birth and she's like "That was it?"
And in other cases it can be really difficult... like with my Ex. My son was supposed to be delivered naturally... they estimated that he as around 8 pounds before he was born.
But what happened is he got stuck and the labour wasn't progressing and she was in A LOT of pain... we're talking Demorol and TWO Epidurals... and that just took the edge off the pain. She had to have an emergency C-section. My son was 10 pounds, 3 ounces when he was born. He has a big head too...
So what I said about kidney stone pain was intended as a generalization. I'm sure there are situations (like with my Ex) where the birth was difficult that were or would be more painful.
LOL....well, none of MY aches and pains are associated with old age.
Neither are mine... yet. But don't worry... it'll happen. And when it does, you and I can get together in Niagara at a Swiss Chalet and we can have a whole conversation about aches, pains, medication and what each of our specialists are telling us... I'll make sure I show up in a Buick wearing pants pulled up to my midsection for you...
Now I'm thinking of that Seinfeld episode where Elaine spends time with the lady who slept with Ghandi who had a Goiter... and it ends with two old men talking about her. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:00:58 PM | | Hey OP - coming in late here, and can't bear reading pages 2-4, so forgive me if this has been covered. I had horrific PMS - still do get a paranoia and 'poor me', but for a while there it was overwhelming. I wasn't sure if it was depression, PMS or losing my mind - but my Dr put me on Welbutrin and it made all the difference in the world. I only took it for 6 months or so, but the difference was night and day. Now when I start to feel out of control, I look at a calendar and 'talk myself down off the ledge' - that was not an option before. Also, being on birth control helps tremendously too. Definitely talk to your OBGYN or family doctor. And for anyone who claims it is not a physiological affliction, may they be bitten by the fleas of a thousand camels (in their 'happy' place)! | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:22:01 PM | | As a man Im not going to even pretend I understand what it's like to have PMS but I have been in relationships where I had to be "invisible" at that time of the month or I was in for it! The good news is that last year it was announced that a contraceptive drug had been developed which stop's women having periods.No periods,no PMT. | |
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| PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships....
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:44:21 PM |
Neither are mine... yet. But don't worry... it'll happen. And when it does, you and I can get together in Niagara at a Swiss Chalet and we can have a whole conversation about aches, pains, medication and what each of our specialists are telling us... I'll make sure I show up in a Buick wearing pants pulled up to my midsection for you...
Dinner at 4 pm...what will we do with the rest our evening?  | |
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