| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:37:52 PM | | I notice the man's pics first, then I read the caption....If it's too long, then I think that they probably talk too much about themselves in person, if they write just one line, then they didn't make enough effort....if their writing skills are brief, eloquent and to the point then I take an interest in him.... | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:13:49 PM | Pics, pics, pics...
If you all didn't know this already (but SHOULD!) men are visually-oriented creatures - which is why if happily married or otherwise commited we will still always look at other (all) women, its in our genes and biochemistry formed by thousands of years of evolution.
That being said, looks alone mean squat when something long-term/permenant is desired. Someone could have the best personality in the world and have the most well-written profile, but there has to be a physical, sexual attraction otherwise personality means nothing - its got to be both sides of the coin (i.e. the complete package).
For me, that veeery first initial "Maybe" or "No way" its all about the picture.
I check out CL ads as well from time-to-time and don't even bother looking at ads without a picture.
I don't know about the rest of you - but I've had a few very promising relationships start on-line (email, phone, etc.) - someone I *really* click with and vice versa, that came to a crashing stop on the first date (sometimes after months of emails and phone conversations) because they looked NOTHING like the pictures they had posted with their profile (which tend to be taken years ago).
I don't consider myself superficial or shallow - I go into any new relationship without a "Laundry List", and without expectations - just hope. To do so would be unrealistic, not to mention completely counterproductive to finding that 'special someone' to share my life with... but I have to be physically attracted to any potential "Mrs. Right" first and foremost!
Peace. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:08:11 PM | | Of course you usually click on a profile because of the looks but to me personality is what matters most. he can be the finest thing on the planet but if his attitude sucks what good will his looks do. People sometimes focus so much on looks they dont even read your profile which shows they arent serious and are just looking for something physical...men need to realize women love compliments but dont overdo it...compliment and let it go...id much rather hear that they like me for my personality over "id love to talk to you because you are beautiful". looks wont keep a relationship going. knowing how to communicate and being able to relate to someone will. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:53:42 PM | | Looks will usually be first. When you walk into a party, and scan the room, you quickly determine which people you want to get to know better. You know nothing about their personalities. But you do know who you'd be sexually attracted to, or more important, which ones turn you off. After all, why start getting to know someone who has something obvious about them that turns you off? That would be kind of stupid now, wouldn't it. And before anyone gets upset by this idea, please remember, we don't get to choose what turns us on, nor what turns us off. It's not a decision. After all, if I had my choice, I'd choose to get turned on by fat, ugly, smelly women with nasty attitudes. I'd be having so much sex that I'd have to quit my job. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:07:03 PM | Pictures first, then read profile.
Some of have emailed on what they said in forums.
Think I will try the smell thing next, thanks for idea OutMind. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:34:23 PM | Looks make me click on and read a profile........the content of the profile decides whether or not I send them a message. Having said that, I have checked out profiles without pictures so the content is important. I generally look for something unique, the whole "i'm fun, outgoing, and down to earth" lines used in most profiles are getting a bit old.  | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:04:12 PM | Cant judge a book by its cover. For me its profile first. You can click on an attractive looking woman and think "Hey, lets see if she'll go out with me", click on the profile and read what shes looking for I like my men to be at least 5'10" Well there goes some dudes chance being with her when they fall short of that requirement  | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:48:48 PM | I know a lot of people try to pretend looks aren't THAT important, but really I don't want to date women that don't think I'm hot.
I look at the pictures first. It's faster. No point in reading about some girl I'd never want to touch. I do read everything for the attractive ones or if something accidentally catches my eye and I get to have fun reading the train wreck of a profile. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:07:40 PM | | Profile, profile, profile. I do notice some pictures first, but the profile is all that matters to me. You could look like Hugh Jackman, but if your profile sucks, I'm not interested. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:39:45 PM | | I tend to search for profiles with similar interests, then check out the pics... if we don't have any hobbies in common, what's the point, I'll never see him anyway, I'm too busy out having fun! | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:30:44 AM | If I'm attracted to a guy's photo (a little or a lot), I will automatically read his profile.
When looking at his profile, my goal is to find out if he's articulate, goal-oriented, fun, tall (OK...I'm an admitted "height Queen"), has cool interests (even if they are different than mine), and if he has mentioned anything that describes some of my characteristics (whether physical or personality).
I've seen photos of good looking guys, but they had aweful profiles and I've also read good profiles of guys who sent me an email but I know in my heart I would NEVER be attracted to them...and I'm sure there are men on this site who feel the same way about me...we can't have it all EVERY TIME, right!?!
If ANYONE says they absolutely do not consider looks/attraction as a part of their decision-making...YOU ARE NOT TELLING THE TRUTH!!! So, when you are out in public and you see a complete stranger and you find yourself wanting to approach them/ask them for their tel #, why do you think it's so!?! | |
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| looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/8/2009 11:17:07 PM | I try not to let a 'not so flattering' profile pic dissuade me from contacting an otherwise intelligent, well-spoken, glimpses of humor, emotionally available man that seems to have some or most of those traits that I seek out.
I learned long ago that looks are not only subjective, but that as my appreciation and attachment to another individual grows, so do their 'good looks' in my eyes.
Plus, looks can change for a myriad of reasons, if that were to happen (and eventually age will do it to all of us) early on, I would still want to be happy with my partner, not lamenting over superficial lost looks, but counting my blessings that I still have their wonderful self in my life.
This does not mean that I don't have a limit, of course being human, I believe we all do. Grooming, mannerisms, posture, self-esteem...all those things have to be there too.
This is the honest truth now, but the man I have loved the most in this life was not someone I would have been able to pick out in crowd. He even referred to himself as plain. He will always be handsome to me.
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/8/2009 11:23:25 PM | | Well it used to be forum posts. They tell a much more detailed story than just a profile alone. But since we can no longer see a persons last 5 forum posts that seriously impedes my process. One of the reasons I'm contemplating leaving POF. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/9/2009 3:09:31 AM | | profile...looks can only last for s dhor time...i want somebody who is sure of miself and he is willing to give himself and has morals and values...trustworthy...spiritual ...linvg an healthy life | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/9/2009 6:05:25 AM | While Im not on here for a life time thing...looks arent everything...and knowing where a persons at in their life IS important....but in the same token when meeting a person the first glance and look seems to be the human thing...lol....Ive caught woman looking at me as I have them...we all have our likes and dis-likes....physically anyway... | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/9/2009 6:45:46 AM | Pictures, and I'm very specific about which pictures I click on. I like a full face shot, so I don't really click on guys with sunglasses. I don't like cropped pics with floating hands or limbs or really skinny cropped pictures where you had cut out a whole standing group of people. I also don't like pics with other grown people in it (kids ok, pets ok I guess).
I'm not that specific on looks but I'm specific on how you present yourself in a picture.
But I ALWAYS read a profile. I'm very specific on what I like and want and your profile doesn't match that I move on.
If you don't have a picture but you got a stand-out tag line, I'll read that and then the profile. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/9/2009 7:22:30 AM | | well, People still dont realize online dating it's only about looks and race. we discussed this topics before. If they dont like your looks or race you know the deal "read deleted". They dont care about what you wrote in your profile, most people are not honest about it. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/9/2009 7:36:10 AM | | What makes me email someone is their profile. However, I wouldn't get as far as their profile if the picture didn't attract me in some way. Being completely honest, I also have to confess, from a dating point of view, if I get as far as clicking on that picture and the guy is under 6' then I click away. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/9/2009 7:40:44 AM | Looks obviously, firstly, you can't read the profile but you can see the picture.
However, whether I make contact depends on the profile contents once I see the picture. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/10/2009 8:35:17 PM | I'll play the shallow card and say the attractive photos will get me to read the profile. But I have been known to click on the clever / funny headline ones too.
One of my favorites "Hurtin' for a Squirtin' "
She was obviously joking but it got my attention and set up the impression that she can be a fun gal. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/10/2009 8:41:12 PM | He contacted me first.
It was the smile that got me. Then his interesting emails. During our second meet up/date it ended with the best kiss I ever had. It made me weak in the knees and I blushed for days afterwards everytime I thought of it. I knew then that he was a man I wanted to surrender myself to. | |
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LBA26
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Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 49 | |
| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/10/2009 8:48:48 PM | | profile, i think a good 75% of the girls who are online in my city i find attractive or ok with but if i really just can't click with then person well... i probably would email something like... oh dear goddess my eyes are unworthy to behold thine beauty. lol lol yea that's a total deal breaker but hey least i had fun with it and the girl probably like it better than a creepy guy who is obviously incompatible trying to fit for the job. | |
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| looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/10/2009 11:29:26 PM | Honestly, I click if I see an attractive girl and then read their profile. If I don't see anything interesting in the prfile I just leave it be regardless of how cute they are.
I've seen total hotties on here with profiles that are just one or two sentences and no listed interests, like their looks alone should speak for them. I'll pass those up any day for a average girl with an awesome personality that shows through in their profile. | |
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