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Posted: 7/3/2009 8:16:14 AM | | I haven't heard the bad f**k thing since I was much younger. There was no manual to show what was needed to be done. It was all hit and miss. If he was the dead one, then she would tell her friends all about it. If it was her, then same thing would happen. Just inexperience. Way back then, you couldn't just go rent a vid so both could watch it. No vids back then. Hell, barely colour tv. I do love movement. Different positions. I love role playing and fantasies. I know some are not meant to come true, but there are some that should. | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:20:33 AM |
I had a couple of dead fishes. The interesting thing is that the dead fishes were usually the better looking girls that were high maintenance princesses. They expected the man to do everything for them.
^^^ though if you can, a nice pump that knocks their head into the headboard of the bed usually snaps them out of it lol. | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:35:13 AM | ^^^^^What and ruin their hair? You know you have to watch the motion too, they may have wet nails or toe nails, you wouldn't want her mani or pedicure ruined | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:39:33 AM | When they mutter, "Beige, I'll paint the ceiling beige"
When they forget your name.
When they lose all interest once their needs are satsified.
When fold their clothes, do their make up, set the alarm clock, and turn on the TV before they want to start.
When they don't want to touch.
When they keep watching the clock.
And the list could go on and on.
Ketch | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:43:56 AM |
A few possible Signs a woman is Bad in bed...
1... She moves so little, you check for a pulse part way through... and at every position change...
2... She asks, "Are you done yet?" before you get it in...
3... You leave the room, get a beer, resume.... and she doesn't notice... and didn't notice the last time either...
4... When a woman who can keep flawless time to a high energy Techno or Trance beat on a dancefloor can't keep her hips moving at the same pace for 30 seconds in a bed....
5... She has no 'grip'... in fact, you suspect that she has less grip than you might get from having sex with Jello...
6... Almost everything to come out of her mouth in the bedroom begins with "Ewwwww" except for when she finally attempts to go down on you, at which point, "Ewwww" is followed by 3 beers and the other contents of her stomach...
7... She thinks "Blow Job" is a literal term... and your testicles are now the size of grapefruit....
8... She won't stop texting her friends about what you're doing...
9... She calls out "Daddy...." when she orgasms...
10. She insists on going to the bathroom in the middle of sex... Trouble is, she didn't get out of bed....
11. She announces that "Hey, that's not what the guys did last night did..." as you're going down on her...
12. You ask for sex "doggy style", she lifts her leg, pees on you then barks...
13. You still have teeth marks on your penis... even after the stitches have been out a month....
14. She's moaning quietly as you have sex... you finally realise she's praying....
15. And afer 3 hours of foreplay, 2 hours of performing oral sex on her, and nearly an hour of pumping away in her... and just as you're about to orgasm... she starts crying...
16. She kills you after mating with her....
 From this point on...I'm going to keep this list on my person to refer to...just in case mind ya! | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:47:06 AM | I agree wholeheartedly with Outmind re the Princess syndrome !
I also concur with the " Dead F uck "
aka
Lack of enthusiasm. If a woman is into it enough, she is willing to learn to do whatever pleases you.
Also, a woman who doesn't know how to communicate what will best get her buttons pressed.
And, I agree with the earlier poster who pointed out how some women don't caress other areas of a man other than their unit . | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:51:23 AM | If I'm into a guy and he's into me then it's magical..........................otherwise it may not always be so great.
Definitely had that happen a couple of times in my life. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes................ | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:01:17 AM | | Sack o taters we used to call em. I once heard there are no "fridgid" women, just inept men. If U was ringin her bell by paying attention to how she likes it, you'd be gettin a genuinely positive response. Girls can't help it. If you tickled her feet, shed be jumpin like frog legs frying. | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 10:40:24 AM |
Guy's is it possible for a girl to be bad in bed (s*x) if so how?And what can we do better?
Not only is it possible, it isn't all that uncommon. There seems to be something that cannot be learned, which a woman on these forums identified for me as sensuality. If you don't have a natural sense of curiosity and a desire to explore and take initiative to do it without being told what to do, I don't know how you would acquire it. | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:03:44 PM | The worst one I remember thought that oral for five minutes was foreplay. And it was so bad I told her to STOP! Who the hell told women that oral was supposed to be painful!
Just try plugging away at a girl with a sore d!ck, when you just start having sex and see how far you go. I was plugging away like hell just trying to get it over with! 
Thankfully when I was done I promised myself I wouldn't do a repeat performance. I was still able to be friends with her, but didn't complain when we didn't have sex again.
The other thing that bothered me was no foreplay. NO touching at all, just brief kissing before she started oral, and then I had to try to have sex after that. Jesus talk about an "out of body" experience. I'm so glad I don't have to go through that again!
It's funny how some women forget about your neck, your chest, your thighs and so many other places where a little attention can turn you on to the point of rapture...
Foreplay isn't just for the ladies, guys need it too if you want us at our peak. Otherwise don't complain if it's a lousy fvck. No effort equals bad sex every time. No matter the gender or level of "experience." | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:43:37 PM | Subject:
<div class="quote"> whats a dead Fuk?
AKA dead fish
just lies still to suffer the ACT
^^^ agree with above, nothing worse than a lazy lover!!!! it is almost offensive, not just bad sex.
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Posted: 7/3/2009 6:53:34 PM | Personally...I' m a multi-tasker.
During sex I file my nails, check my messages, and touch up my make-up.
If doing it in the shower, or on the kitchen counter, I break out the spic n span and clean the grotto...
Is this a problem??? | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:56:18 PM |
i have no doubt a woman can be bad in bed..if your doing the deed and she is reading a magazine..it prob isnt worth the time and effort. Hate to break it to you; but if she's reading a magazine...YOU'RE the one who sucks!  | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/3/2009 10:15:03 PM | There was one woman... she told me she was 'the best'... If by "the best" she meant "I can act just like a cadaver" she was RIGHT.
AftI actually FAKED an orgasm just to be done with the horrible thing. (yes, guys can fake orgasms (condoms help)).
Afterward, she said (and I'm not kidding!)... she said, "I told you I was good"
James, Seattle, Washington, USA. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2009 10:42:49 PM | "Hate to break it to you; but if she's reading a magazine...YOU'RE the one who sucks! "
Sorry guys but I am in total agreement with this statement.
If she is not kicking and screaming, it is because I am not hitting the right spots, or just not hitting them long enough. | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:21:36 AM | lol its funny that the guys stated the dead .... urh yeah. But have you ever thought that you werent so incredible..and she didnt want to fake it? lol.
((THIS IS ME JUST ANSWERING..so you can take what i say in a good way, or ignore)) | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:08:55 AM | I hate the cake baking routine... first we do this then... etc etc
Also- the woman who would always correct me when being more vociferous, correcting my English- "things" always had to be called by their correct and proper names... | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:53:36 AM | Maybe your overweight guy had problems moving around in bed, not me. But then I am Italian.  | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/4/2009 6:18:02 AM | 14. She's moaning quietly as you have sex... you finally realise she's praying....
That happens to me all the time. It is really annoying to hear. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God..." over and over an over. | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:39:42 AM | | [above]... You should probably start getting their permission before sex. ;-) | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:43:59 AM | I have never had the experience of being with a woman who is not enthusiastic.
In fact I've never been with a woman who I would say was "not good in bed".
My only complaints have been that some women are not quite as uninhibited as I am when it comes to somewhat "kinky" sexual practices.
By that I mean that semen has other purposes aside from impregnating a woman, and the ass can be a very sensual part of the body if properly utilized in various ways. | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:18:24 PM | | Stupid question. Sex is like pizza, even when it's bad it's still alright. A guy will f*ck almost any girl given the right circumstances. He might not go back for more but he won't actually complain about it either. | |
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| Wow this is a good ?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:33:46 PM |
By that I mean that semen has other purposes aside from impregnating a woman, and the ass can be a very sensual part of the body if properly utilized in various ways.
I think it's great that you're so secure in your sexuality that you can clearly state on a public forum that you wouldn't mind another guy putting his penis in your ass. A lot of men should follow your lead and be inspired by you. | |
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