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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:55:34 PM | "Bitter rants, like many in this thread, serve no positive purpose. "
Ahhh contraire. I love these rants. The more a man calls women superficial the more it brings out the devil in me. There are plenty of women these whiners are overlooking, but their their "standards" won't allow them to consider these women. However, they don't think the women they want have the right to "standards". Yup, do as I say, not as I do. I laugh my head off many times a day over these. I'll try to reason with them, but most refuse to "get it".
Oh, and I'm an equal opportunity laugher - I laugh at delusional women too. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:59:01 PM | We are out here tbuddha~ You ASKED the rest of us what we thought & emlamNsea nailed the big picture of your problem with women on the head! As a matter of fact, it was pretty damn refreshing to hear a man state what us women know. And your response to him is that he is a rascist!?! lmao... seriously... I think you smoked one bong too many there! He didn't call you fkn cracker or a honkey for god's sake, he pointed out that basically, you have nothing to offer a woman of substance... and, well, you are short. Instead of taking anything away from his post, you jumped into your typical passive/aggressive defend by manipulative attack. Turning the focus into racism instead of dealing with the truth of your 60th percentile ranking, and I think emlamNsea was generous with 60%.
From reading your profile, it's obvious your childhood f'd you up, and instead of maybe going to therapy, you're self-medicating with pot. Pot smokers are the absolute worst when it comes to defending their drug addiction. You will never hear a person that drinks, go off on you like pot smokers, if you tell them you don't drink, like you do when you tell a person that you do not smoke pot.
Your condescending tone throughout your profile is irritating as hell, especially to people that are intelligent AND free thinkers. Your statements about the government & Ronald Reagan aren't examples of your intellectual superiority, just typical bullshit rants that are used to justify your choices in life, that most decent women looking for a LTR do not see as a potential LTR mate qualities.
I think the reason you are seeing chicks blow you off after the initial sexual attractions/passion has worn off, is because then they see you as you really are... a cheetoh eatin', backward music listening, I'm too smart to work so while I figure out how to create the invisible society behind the clouds, go support me LOSER! Take the sex while you can, pretty soon you won't be able to get it up without Viagra. ...
You asked!! Now please feel free with your attempt at subterfuge. There's not much that's more entertaining that trying to have a logical debate with a pothead. By the way, you should google old Rush albums, maybe you can figure them out. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/3/2009 10:11:58 PM | Hey, OP, don't change a thing. Just be yourself. It may take some self-confidence to do that, but I hear chicks dig confidence. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there's somebody out there for everyone, so The One who sees your true inner beauty is probably emailing you even as I write this.
Just don't make the mistake of moving down here to The Springs, where things are much worse - Denver seems like a mecca in comparison in this regard everytime I'm up there. I've gotten so desperate I've had to resort to sporting a bumber sticker which says "Tourists Go Home! But Leave Your Daughter's Behind." <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:08:08 AM | I must agree I enjoy all rants bitter and otherwise....But back to the subject what is a decent looking woman anyway?...Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder; I happen to like the fuller figured ladies who have more to love and appreciate about them...*wink*
Not to sound too shallow but just as with automobiles, food, and climate the reason there are so many choices is because there are so many preferences...
Now as for Asian women well that's a bit difrent since they all look alike so that makes it harder; for those who like them...ok now I'm just being a smart apple... | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:30:30 AM | SmokestackLightning-
I'm glad I irritated some bitter loser from a dirthole called Shelby, Michigan. I was smart enough to move the F out of Michigan- you weren't. Believe me, you live in a dirthole - appropriately. Nothing there worth pissing on. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:21:50 AM | | OP, please tell me what about you is Buddhaesque. There is nothing in your profile or your posts that would indicate anything of the Buddha is present. Your screen name may be attracting a woman who is on a spiritual path and when they discover you are still asleep from a consciousness perspective, they move on. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:50:43 AM | Oh, they're out there. Your requirements are just a bit on the unusual side. When I was in my twenties, had I been single, I might have been a little more interested in the whole living-off-the-grid thing, but now I just want my life to be easy, lol.
However, I think it's less about the specificity of your requirements, than the way you come across. Even if I WERE interested in some of those things, I would very probably be put off by your self-righteous, condescending attitude. And even your cuteness won't buy you a pass for that, in my book.
As to those posters who claim that even women in long-term relationships are always looking to "trade up," for the gazillionth-time, stop with the generalizations! Some of us are happy with what we've got. I'm not looking for Mr. Right, because I've found him. As far as I'm concerned, there's no trading up, because there's no one out there who's better for me. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 6:30:31 AM | I think you should continue to just work. Leave the dating to people who are a bit more mature.
Em and the other guy didn't say anything that some others might have been thinking. I'm not sure where race came into play with Em's post to you--there's no mention of color or ethnicity. I think he pissed you off cause he might have hit an open and active nerve. Accusing someone of being racist because what they say might be TRUE shows your immaturity and is a big turnoff. Keep that in mind when you respond again to something you don't like. YOUR color has nothing to do with HIS response.
Look...you can't get mad because women might not like a shorter guy. Or they don't want to "live off the grid". Or they don't smoke weed. Your thread is a thinly disguised version of "I'm a nice guy, why don't women like me?", just wrapped up in prettier words. And just as inane as the rest of the threads that ask that too.
At 34, how can you be so sure that "women have no clue what longterm relationship means?" I'm curious--did you do a poll about it? Ask a bunch of women...what?
Instead of generalizing, ask yourself what you have to offer a woman who IS seeking a longterm relationship. Your thread if full of what some women might consider red flags...smoking weed makes you patient? Yes that's a desirable trait. My guy has to be high to act like he's got some sense.
Being mad because women state their preferences clearly and YOU DON'T MEET THEM is silly. Height IS important to some women and if you're not where they want you to be, you can't be mad. Looks too--you don't want a fat chick and I bet you wouldn't date one you think is "fugly" right? And the other stuff? Sure it seems like it's window dressing to you because you don't have it---but things in your profile could seem the same to a woman looking too.
You say that the women could care less about a guy making a great husband or father--that's just your take--and your rather pissed off take I might add--because again, their wants/desires don't mesh with who you are. You're putting the cart before the horse--a woman needs to make sure a guy is good for HER before worrying about kids. And that he can make it in the short term before worrying about marriage.
Do I have the "magic answer"? Nope, never will say that I do. But having a few more years of dating on you, I can tell you...
1) the things we think we need, we don't
2) a good partner takes time and energy to find
3) older or younger might be better--but if you only pigeonhole yourself to one age/type/etc you won't find out (trust me...I know)
4) we all think we're more than what we really are...but in all honesty...we're just not THAT hot to everyone.
The woman who started that stupid thread got just about the same thing from me, so there's no preferential treatment. One or the other is so extreme and I'm never sure why people go there.
Maybe time to rethink a few things? | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 6:31:48 AM | IntenseLiaison wrote "A lot of these post seem like bitter rants."
Well yea, did you read the first part of the OPs post? This is his response to "are all the good men gay or taken", which is just a bunch of bitter women ranting about how all men that are single ===k. What is really funny is how offended the women seem to get when anyone make a negative comment about them. I think that perhaps the OP should have asked; "Are all the women on POF bitter rejects that don't think any man is good enough for them?" | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:01:44 AM |
I'm glad I irritated some bitter loser from a dirthole called Shelby, Michigan. I was smart enough to move the F out of Michigan- you weren't. Believe me, you live in a dirthole - appropriately. Nothing there worth pissing on
Some people have an incomplete sense of identity, and crave attention so as to validate that they "exist" or "matter". Positive attention, of course, is what they most want, but if unable to get that, they will seek out negative attention. So long as people "react" to what they're saying, it seems to validate that they "matter". It's not an attractive or emotionally healthy trait, and it's a sign of underlying issues, that most people would not want to deal with in a relationship.
OP, I think that there are very few "decent" women, who wouldn't be put off by reading a post such as the one copied above, directed at another woman. Most likely, if a mod sees it, it will cause your thread to be deleted, and result in a well deserved ban. Especially since you are the OP, it's your responsibility to set a mature, respectful tone in the thread. IMO, you have obviously failed to do so, and, again, I think that the "decent" women will find your statements and conduct in this thread off putting. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:02:00 AM |
This total focus on "long term", to me, seems pointless. No one can know an unknowable future. All "long term" really is, is a whole lot of good "todays" strung together. To focus on what might happen tomorrow, instead of just meeting someone attractive and compatible "today", seems odd to me. Pointless too.
nice outlook, RenMan. Today is the only reality, and even today can be an illusion. One would think a person using a screen name referencing the Buddha would get that, wouldn't one? | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:05:19 AM | well i feel with most people it is all about looks, that the frist thing some look at i am not a ten, nor will i ever be. i am a common type man, of good character and a passion fill imagenation, honest but very shy.i am what a 56 year old hard worker man looks like if you are blinded by whats on the out side you cant see the in side men like me are look over cos of it  | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:09:40 AM | life is full of nothing but one desire after another and the pursuit of their fulfillment. so if you're hankering after something and then lamenting the fact that a particular desire isn't getting fulfilled on whatever your own personal time frame for it is, then wouldn't it be the epitome of logic to try something different, or just find something else to do?
just sayin'.
tell ron i said hey. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:11:55 AM | OP,
I've developed a similar attitude in terms of dating women in this city and on social websites. I have to agree that much of what's on social sites is superficial and shallow, at least in my local area. If I keep my expectations rock bottom low in terms of responses I will only be pleasantly receptive when someone who has more than a morbid curiosity for me comes along.
The only advise I have on this subject as it relates to you is to remember that there is a world outside of work, and eventually someone will catch your eye, but only if you delegate some time to be out in humanity. I too, have a business of my own that is growing, and as a direct consequence requires much travelling, domestic and abroad. If I allowed it, I could end up the boring workaholic that nobody wants to be around, but usually at some part of the day I'm out in the real world, making someone laugh. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:20:59 AM | well i feel with most people it is all about looks, that the frist thing some look at i am not a ten, nor will i ever be. i am a common type man, of good character and a passion fill imagenation, honest but very shy.i am what a 56 year old hard worker man looks like
There are far more "average" looking people, with "average" jobs, than there are in the top 10%. So, you'd think that, by your self-description, that you'd have a rather large "available universe", so long as you are looking for women who fall into about the same level as you, in terms of attractiveness. So why do you feel a need to criticize others for the very natural, instinctive response to attraction?
Looks do matter. That element of "mate selection" has been validated over and over in experiments run by university sociology students, and I believe that NBC even conducted the experiment on TV. It just confirms what everyone knows.
If you put 50 people in a room, who have been "rated" by a panel beforehand, the 25 men and 25 women will pair up very closely to what was predicted beforehand based on physical attractiveness. The 10s will end up with the 10s, and the 1s with the 1s, and so on.
The bitterness comes when people try to "trade up", and are unsuccessful. Then they rant at those they find attractive for being "shallow", while bypassing those who might find them attractive, because they aren't attracted to them.
Serenity in dating comes with a realistic acceptance of who might, and who might not, be attracted to you, yet you can still find attractive. A "4" isn't going to be attractive to a "10", and there's nothing "shallow" about the "10" in reacting to the very natural human response to physical attraction.
IMO, the foolish people are those who disdain the role of physical attraction by insisting that looks "shouldn't play a role" in terms of sexual desire. Fact is, it's the normal, natural human instinct that motivates one to seek a mate in the first place. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:28:02 AM | Well yea, did you read the first part of the OPs post? This is his response to "are all the good men gay or taken", which is just a bunch of bitter women ranting about how all men that are single ===k.
Tropicalnights, thank you for pointing out the obvious to people on here. They all seem to think I am in some bitter rant, when in fact, I'm calling them out on their own bitter rants. Women will post a subject like the "Are all decent men gay?" crap and no one bats an eye, yet when a guy writes a thread that pokes at women on here, he gets called all kinds of names and the wussies on here cry for the moderator.
For all of you who think my profile is condescending, I'd like to hear what part. It will be a tell tale sign of where you feel deficient about yourself. THAT is why I called the one guy racist, cause he is reacting in a way that screams it by sounding jealous and then putting me down based on his beliefs rather than facts. Other examples are fat woman who think I'm mean for my comments on them being inactive, untalented people who think I'm conceited for listing my abilites, government drones who feel threatened by my lack of respect for their worthless careers, lazy people that do nothing important in their lives, and brainwashed people who think pot is bad.
None of those examples fit my definition of "decent". I've done more for my country and community than all of them - and you can take that to the bank. 
Oh, and Shelby, MI is most definitely a crap hole place to live. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:28:20 AM |
Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
cough .. interesting way of presenting ones self - bitter, nasty - short man syndrome. Not attractive.
You don't really think that a Decent woman would waste her time on the Unevolved.. do you? lol ..
The Decent women looking for long term are spending their time and energy with the Decent Men.
sorry things aren't working out for 'you' OP.
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:37:48 AM | Dude, at twenty I was looking for long-term but at 50 I'm just glad to have a decent bowel movement on a daily basis.
I don't think in terms of long-term anymore. I'm just glad to be able to get out of bed every day without tripping over one of my 82 cats...yes...this is what happens to shrews like me that won't "settle" for the bullshit that comes with the promise of "long term." Long-term, my a$$. Newsflash, my friend. Not all of us want to do your damn laundry, cook your meals in a french maid's uniform (cough....not that I would know anything about that, of course) and see to it that your physical needs are met on an hourly basis. pfft! (No offense here OP...just venting...sorry)
When some of you boys know what it takes to keep us interested for "long-term", then we'll gladly reciprocate. Women and men's needs are so different on a daily basis depending on our own personal circumstances no wonder no one wants to even go out on a first date much less think of something as complicated as long-term.
Hope this helps but I'm sure it didn't. ha!
Sans | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:37:49 AM | "Personally, I think most women have no idea what a long term relationship means. They only want to stay around when it's exciting, and as soon as the passion dies down they want to move on to the next thing, each time ACTING as if they are interested in long term, but unable to actually follow through when they "get bored.
Most women on here still list superficial things for interests and superficial qualities in men they are looking for (looks, height, dancing ability, etc..), and couldn't care less about whether a guy would be a good father or husband"
I read your profile and was not impressed. But here's the translation into "girl speak" for the above comments - you bore them. And someone who does not hold a job, smokes an illegal substance & wants to live off the grid is NOT good father or husband material. Plus? Your obvious disdain for those people who do work in offices, and I have to assume some of those women do have regular jobs, is kinda insulting. You sound like a very judgemental person.
It's not them. Sorry. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:41:59 AM |
Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
All of the decent women are busy enjoying their lives with men who dont end their sentences with a preposition.
Translation....hanging out with someone smarter and more self-aware. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:46:06 AM | ^^^As for the "boring" comment.
That has NEVER been applied to me by any woman that knows me - at all. Not even close. I wasn't talking from any personal experience, but from my experiences listening to women in general, and how they act. Look at a show like "Sex in the City" that all the girls love and watch how the characters gripe about the same superficial crap. They want to hold men to a much higher standard than they live up to themselves. Yeah, it's just a TV show, but women wouldn't like it if they didn't relate.
One of my long time friends -who's female btw - told me the other day about a girl she knows leaving her husband of 23 years because she wasn't cumming anymore. Sad to say, but that's how a lot of women think. Not all of them, but a lot.
I'm sorry that you all seem to think I have had all these terrible relationships because I'm such a prick. The truth is I'm just good at filtering out the crap from my life by turning off the women I'm not interested in before they waste my time. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:47:45 AM | Those horrible 20 somethings are a bi-product of many of us in our 50's soon to be 60's.
We grew up in the "free love" 60's and the crazy 70's and 80's.....weird shit always happens at every juncture.
I will say this, we do seem to have produced a crop of hedonistic, bubble heads who are nothing but walking vagina's. But there is always hope. Don't give up.. My best friend is only 18 and she's a very strong person. We're gym rats together and work at the same place.
If a young woman has faced adversity and has survived and come out of it a wiser, stronger person with goals and ambition who respects and values herself beyond the pages of Elle, then you have a keeper.
I'd dodge the cigarette puffing, pin cushioned, its all about me, lushes who put more value in the clothing brand and make-up brand than caring for a child or putting in long hours at work. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:57:28 AM | OP...instead of getting defensive and attacking some of the people who have responded to you here, you may want to take a look at the way are seeking what you want.
I agree with your OT, generalizations s*ck. And are typically erroneous when it comes down to the individual.
Your profile is full of judgements based on generalizations. There is nothing wrong with saying what you want and what you don't want...and nothing wrong with conveying the space occupied by your baggage. Think about this, though: at 34 do you think about things the same way you did when you were 20? 14? or at any other point in your life? It will be the same as you get older. Perspectives change. We are changed by our experiences. Change is the only constant.
There are plenty of women, even young women, who are interested in living off the grid, and are okay with the kind of lifestyle you seek, including your drug of choice, especially if it is mutually supporting. Mutual is the key here. She needs to also feel supported and valued as more than an accessory to your value, not belittled by her individual beliefs, wants, and way of making ends meet. Acceptance goes both ways.
And while you are self medicating, you may want to remember that it is frustrating to try to interact with someone who is not present in mind. There should also be times of no medication. | |
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| Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:02:21 AM | OP, you're condescending because you just assume that someone who doesn't see things exactly your way is wrong, inferior, whatever. Who died and made you the super-wise-genius who knows all about everything?
There's nothing wrong with knowing who you are and what you want. If you were truly comfortable in your own skin, however, you wouldn't feel the need to put others down, just because they don't buy into all of your ideas. A truly confident person can accept others in their lives, even those who don't agree on every point. | |
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