|
|
|
|
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:46:03 PM |
I don't like when dysfunctional desperate overweight individuals mess with my head for a week by writing a deceptive profile, telling me lies, sending me deceptive pictures to my email and phone, then expect me to buy into it because "inside they're a wonderful person".
I have a guy friend this happened to. He met a woman who lived six hours away. She had a gorgeous face and an amazing personality. They spent hours chatting, talking, sending pics back and forth. He told me he must have gotten 25 different pics from her. (Although he said they were all very carefully posed) HE MADE THE 6 HOUR DRIVE TO MEET HER~ONE WAY! (I told him he was insane)
When he saw her, he was APPALLED. He said she was at least 75 lbs overweight. He confronted her because he was pissed! He felt deceived. She cried and apologized and said she can't seem to lose the weight but she really wants a cool guy like him and she hoped he could "overlook" her excess weight.
This really is a horribly deceptive thing to do. Change what you don't like about yourself (and you know others you are interested in won't like) or be 100% honest about it! | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:53:41 PM | | I want a real woman = I'm out of breath from blowing up the last one....... | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:55:53 PM | idoc steve: "You sound bitter. Try not to be. Online dating takes time. So what you've been on this board 10 years and haven't gotten a date...hang in there. Maybe you just need a better attitude."
the post you were referring to didn't sound any more bitter than any of the others (especially your own...), so why such a vehement response? Strike a chord did it? Their attitude didn't sound bad to me. Most people would be put off if someone claimed to be divorced and really weren't, and false claims is what is being asked for...isn't it? | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:46:41 PM | and my personal favorites:
I'm honest as the day is long: And it will only take me the first half of our first date to tell you all the things I "embellished" on my profile. Oh yeah, and I'm actually having my last cigarette right now so I'll officially be a non-smoker tomorrow.
I'm a real gentleman: So I will totally pay for your ten dollar dinner if you'll only climb into the backseat of my car in the parking lot afterwards.
OP, TFF...thanks for the laughs. | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:57:29 PM | | "I'm plus-sized and very happy with how I look, if you can't handle that, your loss." = "I'm fat and gave up on my diet/gym plan after 2 days because I have no motivation or will power in life. Enjoy!" | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:02:54 PM |
Most people would be put off if someone claimed to be divorced and really weren't, and false claims is what is being asked for...isn't it?
Those who have posted on this thread in regard to my own profile, and the fact that I state "Divorced" in my headline but clarify in the very first line of the first paragraph of my profile text that I am in fact not yet divorced, seem to be missing an obvious point.
In my case, since I immediately clarify that I am not in fact divorced, with an explanation as to why I state I am, that's more like a "bait and switch" as compared to someone that deceives through their profile, and possibly through subsequent emails and texts, right up to the first meeting when the scam finally unravels.
Big difference.
Not my fault that my soontobe exwife has made this a legal fiasco that's taken the better part of 3 years and will take a trial to resolve. She's already cost me over 200k in legal fees..I'm not going to allow her to affect my dating success as well..lol.. | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:10:05 PM | "In my case, since I immediately clarify that I am not in fact divorced, with an explanation as to why I state I am, that's more like a "bait and switch"
Last I heard "bait and switch" was deceptive...
My personal favorite has also to do with body type: athletic. While many are, a great many are definitely armchair athletes that even I could outrun. | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:16:23 PM |
Last I heard "bait and switch" was deceptive...
It's a matter of degree. I'll bet 99% of profiles have "some" degree of deception. The question becomes, when is the person crossing a line. 15 year old photos depicting a person 150 lbs lighter (with no disclaimer in the profile) is way over the line. Me stating that I am divorced and then clarifying that I am not "quite" divorced only a few lines further down in my profile and giving an explanation, isn't crossing a line, as far as I'm concerned.
Your mileage may vary. | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:24:34 PM |
It's a matter of degree.
Ah, the old "my sh*t doesn't stink like yours does" reasoning.
Yeah, see that a lot here. | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:30:06 PM |
forums1-Ah, the old "my sh*t doesn't stink like yours does" reasoning.
Yeah, see that a lot here.
You're a perfect example of hypocrasy, double standard, and deceptive profile text. A quick look at your profile tells me all that. Yes, I'm that good.
Here you are taking shots at me and being all bitter and judgemental. And yet your profile says the following, and I quote:
"There's too much bitterness and hate in this world, learn to love."
Thanks for giving me another example of deceptive profile text to add to this interesting and informative thread.
 | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:37:42 PM | Deception aside, how many laid back easy going guys are out there who really just want to have fun?
LMAO. I see that on more profiles...
If you'd like to know more, just ask =translation= I have no idea who I am and/or I am not literate enough to compose a meaningful sentence about myself | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:46:49 PM |
Here you are taking shots at me and being all bitter and judgemental. And yet your profile says the following, and I quote:
"There's too much bitterness and hate in this world, learn to love."
Ah, I see, so I'm bitter and judgmental for stating my view of your reasoning...
idoc:
"I have no skeletons in my closet" Translation: "My skeleton disappeared years ago under 300 lbs of adipose tissue"
"I am silly/little girl like at times and I am a very confident, sexy, down to earth woman who can be fiesty as well." Translation: "I can be like a bull in a china shop"
"Don't waste my time ..Too many people just play games." Translation: "I'm not playing a game, I am freaking desperate and I'll do whatever it takes to get a date"
" I am looking to meet someone who knows what he wants in a relationship, and is willing to go for it". Translation: "I'm a girl who doesn't say no."
"~I'M NOT LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT MAN, JUST THE MAN WHOSE PERFECT FOR ME~" . Translation: "If you're not the perfect man, then message someone else otherwise you're just wasting your time"
" I am an easy going woman." Translation: "I'm emotional and I get upset very easily".
And yet you can judge the profiles of everyone else, and you are "that good". Something about glass houses and stones comes to mind. | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:51:18 PM | adventurousme57-When he saw her, he was APPALLED. He said she was at least 75 lbs overweight. He confronted her because he was pissed! He felt deceived. She cried and apologized and said she can't seem to lose the weight but she really wants a cool guy like him and she hoped he could "overlook" her excess weight.
At least here we have a glimpse inside the head of a deceptive person and how they think. I guess it's no surprise. They feel helpless to change themselves, they've had complete failures in their dating attempts so out of desperation, they have resorted to outright lies in the hopes that the other party will forgive the deception and not mind the fact that she's considerably overweight because she's got other attributes to make up for it.
It makes sense in a twisted sort of way. | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:54:25 PM |
In my case, since I immediately clarify that I am not in fact divorced, with an explanation as to why I state I am, that's more like a "bait and switch" as compared to someone that deceives through their profile, and possibly through subsequent emails and texts, right up to the first meeting when the scam finally unravels.
lmao... that was funnnnny!! 
Yep, idoc steve, you're right. You're not like THEM at all. Your reasoning for deception is far more intelligent and full of integrity. I don't know why that's not obvious at first glance.
 | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:58:08 PM | lmao... that was funnnnny!!
Yep, idoc steve, you're right. You're not like THEM at all. Your reasoning for deception is far more intelligent and full of integrity. I don't know why that's not obvious at first glance.
Yes stephanie, and thank you. I feel I would be doing a disservice to the wonderful women of this dating site to put "divorced" on my headline and not give them an opportunity to get to know a really great guy.
Thanks for recognizing that my intentions are no less than honorable and that by clarifying my status within my profile, it's not quite the same as writing a work of fiction and using it as a tool or weapon to trick an unknowing person into going on a first date only to dash their hopes like a fragile dish of china dropped on a ceramic floor... | |
|
| |
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:18:51 PM | OP, so you're saying it's ok to lie on your profile as long as you clarify in the text? So all the fat girls you despise can post their formerly skinny pics as long as they state in the text that they are not skinny these days, but what the hell, they're working on it so that counts, right? I don't think so, but that's jmo...
ETA: I'd never ever judge anyone for weight alone, but OP another discrepancy in your profile is you have Average listed, yet you again contradict yourself in the text portion by admitting you're a few pounds over.. Why not just make your profile entirely accurate before you post something like this topic? I was laughing at your posts, I thought they were funny, but with the hypocrisy.. | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:26:30 PM |
have Average listed, yet you again contradict yourself in the text portion by admitting you're a few pounds over..
Since I'm a tall guy at 6'1" I consider those few extra lbs to be 'about average' as compared to the majority of the population, as most people could lose a little bit of weight.
It is, and has always been my feeling that "a few extra lbs" is a nice way of saying "mild to moderately obese".
Again, your mileage may vary.
P.S. This thread was about deceptive profiles...about people that completely deceive until you meet them..and then after you compare what you got to what you read, you see the disconnect and shake your head.
My profile, as it is currently written, depicts an accurate description of me when viewed in it's entirety.
| |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:34:12 PM |
My profile, as it is currently written, depicts an accurate description of me when viewed in it's entirety.
Come on now.. lol.. it is not completely accurate. There are lies, plain and simple. I don't think that just because you explain the lies further down on the page that makes it ok. You didn't answer my question, would it be ok for the fat girls you dislike so much to post their skinny pictures as long as they explain in the text that they're not skinny anymore?
But anyways - sticking to the topic at hand, in my personal experience (and I'm sure most women have noticed this) with guys online "must be open-minded" almost always means "Must be willing to fall on your back on date one." | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:36:57 PM | "must be open-minded" almost always means "Must be willing to fall on your back on date one."
Haha, either that, or "must be willing to deal with my other three girlfriends, wife, lack of job or car, drug habit, etc..." | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:37:59 PM |
would it be ok for the fat girls you dislike so much to post their skinny pictures as long as they explain in the text that they're not skinny anymore?
Hmm..thinking...ok so a girl posts a bunch of old, skinny pictures and then posts a disclaimer in her profile that the pictures are not an accurate representation of her as she currently exists?
It would be better than not saying anything at all, although I would wonder what a person might hope to gain by doing such an odd thing. | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:38:56 PM | There are many cases when "judgment" can be appropriate for a particular situation - how many of us have asked friends for their "honest opinion" on something? Isn't that, in effect, asking for their "judgment" of our situation?
People post looking for profile reviews - are they not asking for our "judgment" as to what is wrong with their profile (usually bad pictures, "negative" sounding profile, etc), to hopefully make it better and more attractive, to help them attract more dates?
I can tell you, OP, since I've been on here a while, that I've read *many* times about women who "don't date separated" - and yes, for them, listing yourself as "divorced" in your profile, *regardless* of what you say, is a "lie". You would be better served saying "separated" in your profile, and yes, keeping that first line saying that the divorce is "in progress" and hopefully be over with soon.
Yes, in the strictest sense of the word, that is a "judgment". And as you point out, in my profile I quote Leo on choosing love over bitterness and judgment - but would one argue that telling an alcoholic friend they need help, or a friend complaining of odd pains that they are "a stubborn SOB" and they should see a doctor, which strictly to the meaning of the word is being "judgmental", is not coming from a place of "love"? Sometimes we can have blinders on, and an honest "judgment" of how someone sees us, without malice intended, is the most loving thing we can do for someone?
"Yes stephanie, and thank you. I feel I would be doing a disservice to the wonderful women of this dating site to put "divorced" on my headline and not give them an opportunity to get to know a really great guy."
While confidence is an attractive quality, ego is not. Gee, you would be doing a "great disservice to the wonderful women", yeah, guess which of those two that would fit under?
Reality is, the women that won't date a separated man, might find your profile because it says "divorced", and then will immediately dismiss it because you then say "only separated" - so you are really doing a "great disservice" to them by listing yourself as "divorced" and wasting their time looking at you in a search. What that really says is that you *want* them not to find that out until they look at your profile - ie, "bait and switch".
Whats more interesting to me is that you will sit here an argue this point with the *women* on here, the very "wonderful women" you claim to not want to do a "great disservice" to? One might wonder what "I'm right, you're wrong" arguments might come up in a relationship with someone with an attitude like that?
I'm not saying this in "bitterness", or anger, but you are right, it is "judgemental", in the hopes that you will maybe understand that how you come across in the forums is something many women will look at (moreso than the men I'd bet), and will follow you around. Defending your misrepresentation on your profile "to death", in the face of your own bitter/negative comments about women's profiles, and in the face of multiple women calling you on it, does little to help your prospects on here.
In reality, all "criticism" is, in effect, judgment, is it not? I can take your criticism, and there is a grain of truth in it, I wouldn't argue that - I'm far from perfect, and while I agree with that quote I have in mine, in its purest sense - which is why I have it there, I doubt any human being can live it 24/7/365 - but could one argue the world would be a better place with *less* bitterness and more love?
The question is, why do you take any criticism of you and defend it so vehemently that being honest in one simple drop-down selection in your profile would be doing a "great disservice"? Honestly is a disservice? Or is honesty only a disservice when it pertains to a "great guy" like you? | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:46:03 PM | Reality is, the women that won't date a separated man, might find your profile because it says "divorced", and then will immediately dismiss it because you then say "only separated" - so you are really doing a "great disservice" to them by listing yourself as "divorced" and wasting their time looking at you in a search. What that really says is that you *want* them not to find that out until they look at your profile - ie, "bait and switch".
Yes, that's exactly right. In fact I described my own profile as a "bait and switch" earlier in this thread, I guess you missed it.
Yes, I want women to view my profile before dismissing me as a potential, simply because I might have written 'separated' in my headline.
I do understand that a good many women who have been jaded by their experiences with separated men may simply dismiss my profile once they realize that I am not yet divorced even though I have lived alone for almost 3 years, the trial is imminent and it is simply a "legal technicality" at this time, which is very different from what most people think of when they see "separated" in a profile headline.
No, I do not see it as doing them a "great disservice". The 30 seconds it might take them to read down to the first sentence in my profile is 30 seconds less that they might have to view the profile of some other dude who might be even more deceptive than those who have been the subject of this thread. Or perhaps the 30 seconds that I have cost them just might have been the exact moment they might have found the man of their dreams.
I am willing to take that chance | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:01:08 AM | One that you guys forgot:
Just got out of a bad marriage/realationship, but am looking to give love another try.
Translation: All I am going to do is talk incessently about my e and then punish YOU for everything he/she ever did to me, and trust will be near impossible due to my own insecurities.
LOL
Beth | |
|
| Deceptive profile text
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:13:50 AM |
Yes, that's exactly right. In fact I described my own profile as a "bait and switch" earlier in this thread, I guess you missed it.
Yes, I want women to view my profile before dismissing me as a potential, simply because I might have written 'separated' in my headline.
Its not that I don't understand the "logic" behind it, but...
Look at it this way, you started this thread complaining about "deceptive profiles", yet you admit to using the "marital status" field deceptively to attract women who might not otherwise look at your profile. Ok, so now, knowing that - why would a woman not think that you don't have a PhD, you're not an "eye doctor", etc? You've already shown from your profile alone that you will engage in deception "if it serves your purpose", yet are arguing that its "only a little deception" and starting threads bashing people who "write deceptive profiles". Sounds a bit hypocritical? | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
