| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:57:03 AM | | Whether married or single, whether a SAH or working mother, having been divorced and a mother by age 20 I just don't recommend becoming a parent before the mid-20s to 30. All that youthful energy is much better spent pursuing an aducatioon, collecting a few of the things one wants out of life, establishing one's self, and getting those wild oats/hairs out of the system. Becoming a young parent does not automatically spell doom, but those with foresight and self-discipline would be doing both themselves and the children they may have someday a great service to wait a while IMHO. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:18:01 AM |
I have no problem and I perfer my taxpayer money being spent in housing, medicare and/or food stamp programs for those needed
Awesome and I totally agree 100% 
The cycle of poverty is a hard one to break especially when traditional middle class jobs are fanashing at alarming rates. I much rather give a person a hand-up then push them down.
I totally support social programs. Young single mom's are at a disadvantage now thats not to say that they can't rise to the occasion and make a better life for them and their child but they are going to have to work a lot harder and be extremely determined. They are going to need to work twice as hard. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 6:03:06 AM |
I have no problem and I perfer my taxpayer money being spent in housing, medicare and/or food stamp programs for those needed
Awesome and I totally agree 100%
The cycle of poverty is a hard one to break especially when traditional middle class jobs are fanashing at alarming rates. I much rather give a person a hand-up then push them down.
I totally support social programs. Young single mom's are at a disadvantage now thats not to say that they can't rise to the occasion and make a better life for them and their child but they are going to have to work a lot harder and be extremely determined. They are going to need to work twice as hard.
I have no problems with assistance when it is required. But not long term handouts as a lifestyle choice. A person should be responsible correct? The masses demand it of fathers with statements about standing up and being finacially responsible.
So why are these comments not being suggested of single young mothers?
A responsible woman should do all to insure she is not going to be come pregnant.
the cycle of poverty is difficult to break especially when you have the socialist mentality that absolves individuals of self reliance and self determination.
A single mother is at a disadvantage based on decisions she made. Just like the arguement about it being a womans choice to carry or not carry the baby to term. Her choice was also to insure she was practising safe and carefull sex practises. AS it is also a guys responsibility if he wants to avoid some lecherous single mother {supposedly} who is simply looking for a wallet to pay the bills.
I have no problems assisting the needy. But do not simply pat them on the back and tell them everything is okay...they are not to blame or not responsible for where they are. I am a single custodial father. I am in part responsible for where i am. I perhaps married the wrong woman as I felt life was perhaps passing me by. i overlooked warning flags in my desperation for starting a family. I did not listen to friends who warned me the potential problems that may one day rise up and bite my ass.
So because i made poor choices. Should society be in the position of supporting my lifestyle or living requirements?
One needs a hand up on their feet after getting knocked down is fine. But propping them up until the children leave home is perpetuating the cycle.
Users...abusers and deadbeats are also part of the poverty cycle. You admonish one and support the other? | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:17:54 AM |
I have no problems with assistance when it is required. But not long term handouts as a lifestyle choice. A person should be responsible correct? The masses demand it of fathers with statements about standing up and being finacially responsible.
So why are these comments not being suggested of single young mothers?
the cycle of poverty is difficult to break especially when you have the socialist mentality that absolves individuals of self reliance and self determination
One needs a hand up on their feet after getting knocked down is fine. But propping them up until the children leave home is perpetuating the cycle.
Users...abusers and deadbeats are also part of the poverty cycle. You admonish one and support the other?
I couldn't have said it any better myself. Social programs should be designed to provide a leg up to getting off the system in a relatively short period of time. Social programs should be designed to provide long-term income supports to those "legitimately" unable to obtain income sufficient to put them above the poverty line". That is not the system we have in Canada, but in Ontario...it is moving in that direction with the whole "work for welfare" push. The US is in a really bad state with their welfare programs, much worse I think than here in Canada and they have one hell of a long road back to recovery from the sense of "entitlement" to support a lifestyle "choice".
Having a child is a decision made of one, possibly two people. Being a SAHP is a CHOICE that should not, in my opinion, be consciously made on the backs of society as a whole through the use of welfare (ie: I'm pregnant and I will have this child because I know I can sit on my ass and not work and be able to provide for this child).
I am a traditional girl at heart (despite how my own life choices may appear to be) who would have preferred to get married, have children with a husband and decide together that one of us should be a SAHP to raise our children instead of having someone else assume that responsibility for 40-50 hours per week, at least until they are in school.
I could never have said to myself, well I will just use welfare so I can be a SAHP. I was on it for a short period of time but it was never my intention to "use" the system. I worked nights and had a sitter stay over when my son was 3mths to 2 years old so I could be his SAHP. When it got to the point that he wasn't napping enough (so I could sleep too), I had to make a change and used the system to facilitate that change to working full-time in the days and having him in daycare. When I had my daughter 11 years later, I didn't collect any welfare because I was more established in my career. Would I have loved to be home with her for at least the first year of her life, not have to work? Absolutely but that wasn't an option for me because it is just "wrong".
It is the sense of entitlement that gets me every time...someone who doesn't have enough humility to grasp that others are paying for their lifestyle choices or who simply don't care, those people make me sick. ~insert barfing sign here ~ | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 1:34:53 PM | | Well from experience I am going on 20 years old and im expecting my first child in December. I somewhat agree and disagree. Alot of girls younger than the age of 23 or so having children cant and wont take the responsibility of what is thier mostly bcuz they arent ready to stop partying and whatever else you do as your younge. As for me I had no choice but to grow up at a younge age so I am completely ready for this baby! It does not matter how old someone is it all depends on their determination. You can be 35 and be a horrible example for a mother. Mines 50 and hasnt got her life together yet! | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 1:41:37 PM | WRONG i had twin boys at 19 and yea i was young and it was unexpected but i take very good care of my boys. and i had another at 21.. i dont think you can put an age on having children. i mean i dont wanna see a bunch of high school chicks runnin around prego but i wanted to start a family when i was 18...that may sound stupid but...thats just me i kno of a few other ppl that had children young and they couldnt be happier!
!!YOU KNO THERES MORE TO LIFE THAN YOURSELF AND PARTYING!!
if your the type of person that would rather party and concentrate on yourself then your the immature one. and selfish at that.... | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 1:59:25 PM | Being a mother is not just stopping partying. You have to be able to support yourself and your child 100%, in your own home, paying all of your own bills, and paying for the daycare you will need, unless you work from home.
Not to mention that not having a husband/committed for at least 18 years partner isn't really fair to the child, but oh well.
I haven't met any 18 year olds that make enough money to do all of that, who also have a committed partner. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:53:35 PM | There is no way I could have afforded a kid at that age. They must be getting help from the government or their parents. My daycare was $750 a month when I had my daughter and my husband died shortly after she was born. So I even found it difficult having to pay for everything.
No way are they mature enough at that age. I don't think they are mature enough at 25. I can't believe in this day and age that girls of that age (and boys too) are still so stupid about birth control. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:16:23 PM |
There is no way I could have afforded a kid at that age. They must be getting help from the government or their parents. My daycare was $750 a month when I had my daughter and my husband died shortly after she was born. So I even found it difficult having to pay for everything.
No way are they mature enough at that age. I don't think they are mature enough at 25. I can't believe in this day and age that girls of that age (and boys too) are still so stupid about birth control.
Believe it or not, in many cases it has nothing to do with knowledge of birth control, these girls have babies on purpose. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:26:41 PM |
A responsible woman should do all to insure she is not going to be come pregnant.
I agree but a 16 yr old is not a responsible woman. If a 16 yr old ends up pregnant I really think the blame is on the parents because they have failed her in some way. However I see what goes on at public schools is down right scarey and I'm debating homeschooling my daughter.
16 yr olds are not matture enough to be having sex or to live with the sometimes long term consequences of having sex.
Tealwood who was the got the label of the "Greatest Canadian"
Tommy Douglas a socialist. For a little guy he was sure a great politician.
I don't believe its patting on the back its about giving them the tools and means to become productive members of society. Yes there are those that will take advantage but then there are others who exploit others to get ahead in capitalism.
FDR during the Great Depression put Americans back to work by creating jobs (building roads, government buildings). He knew that most people do not want to be on the dole/welfare they would rather take the pride in doing a job and being able to support their families.
I'm not referring to the crackhead pan handlers but the people that are just down on their luck and this isn't the most friendly economy.
the cycle of poverty is difficult to break especially when you have the socialist mentality that absolves individuals of self reliance and self determination.
Am I not self reliant? do I not have determination? If that was true I wouldn't work 50+ hours a week trying to get a better life for myself and my daughter. I work extremely hard and have a great work ethic. I'm working for my house on the lake.
FDR also saw that society needed safety nets so when life bites u in the butt u don't lose everything. There are also those in society that are weaker members of society. The elderly, the mentally ill, the handicapped and others. Capitalism is a system of exploitation. And u know what the middle class is vanishing as we are rapidly losing manufacturing jobs. Look at BC with the disappearance of the forest industry.
My dad worked at the mill for 50 yrs put two kids through university.
I think socialist have a bad rap we don't encourage people to be lazy we just support social programs such as:
universal health care
education (which needs a major improvement to include meal programs)
affordable housing
minimal wage (if somebody is working they should be able to provide a certain standard of living)
if a person works 9-5 they should have the basics... nowadays its the "working poor"
and quebec they have great day care there compared to the rest of the country. Even two income families cannot afford daycare.
Look I don't think we should just give money away for those to sit on welfare and abuse the system, if they are able then they can do a job there are a lot of jobs that need to be done.
I support state run daycare which would be a lot better then some of the day care situations that are run or maybe extend maternity leave to two yrs. We need to pay more attention to our children. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:55:19 PM |
FDR also saw that society needed safety nets so when life bites u in the butt u don't lose everything.
There is a big difference between life biting you in the butt and doing something purposefully that causes you to need welfare.
Teens are living at home being supported by their parents because they are minors and have no capacity to support themselves 1oo%. They have no business getting pregnant and having a child when they cannot afford to care for it completely on their own. If they get pregnant by accident they should either have an abortion or give the child up for adoption. If they don't want to do either of those two things, they should remain abstinent. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:30:30 PM | After my huge social rant and feeling like procasinating cuz I want the night off work I'm going to change this back to the original question
girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20... good or bad?
My cousin she got married at 19 (6 months pregnant). She's 23 and now has two boys. She is still married.
For my cousin this was the best thing for her because her life was spinning out of control. Her marriage has offered her stability. Before she got married she dropped out of high school. She was expermenting with drugs and who knows what else.
So I think its very lucky that she found someone to marry and to settle down in life with because she needed that.
However if her husband ever flees and leaves her to raise her two boys on her own I don't know what she'll do. She has no ability to provide for herself and her boys on her own. She also has no desire to go back to school.
Oh and the single mom (me) has lent her cousin who is married money because her and her husband were broke. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:34:26 PM |
She has no ability to provide for herself and her boys on her own. She also has no desire to go back to school.
Oh and the single mom (me) has lent her cousin who is married money because her and her husband were broke.
Have you ever pointed out her precarious situation to her? | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:56:50 PM |
finances are not the only important thing in a family
Didn't say that finances are the only important thing in a family but being responsible is regardless if u are a single parent or if ur a two parent family. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:08:35 PM |
Didn't say that finances are the only important thing in a family but being responsible is regardless if u are a single parent or if ur a two parent family.
Being broke, especially in this economy, does not automatically infer irresponsibility. I believe that asking for help when you need it is an important part of being responsible, so I fail to see your point.
Some of the richest of people are plenty irresponsible. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:43:00 PM | They are broke because they are irresponsible. They spend money on foolish things. They bought a truck yet they lived in vancouver. You don't need a 30K truck when you live in the city.
They spent $200 on a dog even though they have two lil boys both in diapers and then complain to me about not having money for diapers.
U assume that two parents are better then one. I know I'm a better parent then the two of them combined. Why am I a better parent?
1.) I took much better care of myself when I was pregnant
2.) I had money put aside for my daughter.
3.) Basically her parents have done more of the child rearing then she has she passes the responsibility to the nearest adult in the room. Getting me or my other cousins to change her child.
4.) My cousin doesn't care about her children's education at 18 they are out the door so she is not bothering with any education funds for their future (she laughed at me when I encouraged her to get education bonds for her boys)
5.) Her supervision is a joke
6.) Her boys are always wet/dirty/have colds
7.) My daughter's development is above average (says her doctor)
8.) I have always had her check-ups on time
9.) I will not let my daughter eat fast food my cousin let her lil guy eat macdonald burgers at 7 months. Whose kids do u think are going to be obsese?
10.) I constantly take my daughter to the park/encourage her to be active her husband gets off work and just plays video games
Oh I don't smoke pot after my children are in bed.
If my cousin has a girl she is going to teach her to go after a man's wallet rather then encourage her to get an education and be financially independent.
My cousin is very immature, lazy, pigheaded you can't tell her nothing. I've encouraged her to go back to school. She's 23 and thinks she has the world figured out.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help. But I've just provided a whole bunch of reasons why they are irresponsible as parents. I didn't say they were irresponsible because they were broke. They are irresponsible to why they are broke there's a difference.
My point is that when ur a parent u have to be responsible for ur child. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/9/2009 11:02:48 PM |
I didn't say they were irresponsible because they were broke. They are irresponsible to why they are broke there's a difference.
No, you just said you had to loan them money because they were broke, and said you were more responsible than they were.
However, I don't feel it's the difference between a two parent household and single. You were much older when you had children than they were. If you took yourself and added a responsible counterpart that was your child's biological father, your household would be stronger than it is now. It's a little bit ridiculous to compare yourself to your cousin who got pregnant at such a young age, and is still in the "me-me-me" phase most young people choose not to let go of. | |
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| girls having kids at the age of 18 to 20..good or bad?
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:45:54 PM |
They spent $200 on a dog even though they have two lil boys both in diapers and then complain to me about not having money for diapers.
That eats me up, i have known a woman somewhat like that, had close to 30 cats, spent tons of money on catfood and supplies, yet cried woe is me, i can not buy my kids a gallon of milk or shoes for school. Plus they all smelled like cat piss all the time from having 30 cats in one house.
Absolutely disgusting. children and pets are both a huge responsibility, and if you cant afford them by God dont have them. If you can only afford one or the other, then choose one or the other. I would choose my kids over a bunch of animals if i was in a position of having tight funds. | |
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