| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:14:52 PM | | someone's got awfully thin skin. i know as little about your friend's genitals as you do. | |
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stts
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Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 27 | |
| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:16:58 PM | | I have great compassion for a woman that is wheelchair bound. But I dont want to date her because we just dont have any common interests. If there were few choices, then I would reconsider. But there are a million fish in the sea, so I dont have to make that choice. Common interest is the force that draws people together. You need to hunt for ladies that understand your disability because they live it. I have seen some with a very bad walk from a disability that might be receptive to somebody wheelchair bound. And then I ran into a rather chubby able bodied young woman, with such a big heart, that she was not at all turned off by a wheelchair. She said she was willing to take care of somebody like that the rest of her life. So there you go. You cant expect to pull them out of the pages of Playboy, but there are ladies out there and you will have to actually journey and hunt them down. A webpage is better than nothing, but is not a very convincing dating venue because the personality simply doesnt shine through. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:21:31 PM | | I was in Costco around a year or so ago and saw this guy in a wheelchair. He was probably one of the most gorgeous men I've ever seen and appeared to be single - and man! - I wanted his phone #! But he never glanced my way and because I'm a chickensh1t, I didn't pursue him. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:23:47 PM | | Yes! I have dated someone in a wheelchair, but it wasn’t fun because he kept reminding me and everyone around him that he was in a wheelchair. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:25:08 PM | | I go to college and have to use a power wheelchair when I'm on campus. I had a bumper sticker on my 'chair that said "Free Rides For Single Women". Nobody took me up on the free ride. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:52:24 PM | "I would not consider dating that is already wheelchair bound. Too many limits on things we could do together. I would not dump a long term relationship if they became disabled"
Excuse me why the difference? Either way the end up in a wheelchair . If the ended up in a wheelchair after you would still have the same limits as you state at the very top of your post.
Why would you be happy to be with one and not the other if you end up with the same challanges?? | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:55:34 PM | anyone that couldn't love someone disabled is disabled.. and can't love. scary stuff..limitless people are everywhere kid .. if you were in my town .. we would have a friggin hoot together .. you and I .. now as for shove and love .. nah .. you is way too young and cute for this old coot .. but I never believe in setting limits to what anyone can do.. whether they are in a wheel chair or not.. limitless is limitless .. there are no limits.. you walk much deeper than the walking .. kid ..
There was a guy in my favorite list from the east coast .. he put himself in there.. he never contacted me .. now I am one who never contacts a guy.. I figured if he wanted me he would come a courting .. but him being in a wheelchair never even did a double take.. I swear he was so. .. sexy , wheel chair or no wheel chair . all you need is a creative woman who isn't afraid of loving you for you loving her... they are out there .. kid.. a good woman is all you need. . | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:59:10 PM | | I wouldn't start dating someone in a wheelchair, but if my SO ended up in a wheelchair, you couldn't tear me away. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:04:50 PM | | See, that does not make sense to me. People won't date someone in a 'chair but if someone they are with ends up in a 'chair they wouldn't leave them? What's the flippin' difference? | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:08:27 PM | | Whoa! Scary that you have to ask. Even more scary....people answering "no" that they would not date someone in a wheelchair. Man do I live in a cocoon, it never crossed my mind that the wheelchair had anything to do with the character of the person. To me it would be like saying "I won't date a man with blonde hair." You hang in there. It's a huge world, I'm sure there are tons of young women who'd love to go out with you. Have faith, the right one WILL come along. | |
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stts
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Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 36 | |
| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:21:02 PM | You can have faith all you want, but if you dont at least acknowledge reality and plan for troubles ahead, you will just be kidding yourself. TXWHEELS has already said the reality of it is that a wheelchair is a romance killer. Alter your strategy to give you a better edge. Dont just sit there and let faith fix your problems for you. I suspect faith alone will only help you die a lonely man. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:21:53 PM | Several posters hit the nail on the head, I think.
Consideration of the "role" the person has assumed, is the most telling. I mean are they striving to be independent? If so, then is their personality and their outlook on life positive and outgoing, or negative and self-pitying?
It would be the same to me as every other guy. If they have heart and are genuine, that's all that matters in the end, to me. I agree with [simbaline64]'s post completely.
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stts
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Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 38 | |
| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:53:17 PM | | There is an old saying in this society. Nice guys finish last. Its not an old wives tale. Its a fact in our society. You can be genuine and sincere all you want, but your going to finish last, especially in a wheel chair. He has to work on an edge and head for greener pastures that are more favorable to the wheel chair types. A multi pronged approach to attacking his lonelyness is his best shot at success. Sitting around and waiting for faith to work it out is an almost certain failure. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:34:30 PM |
God I wouldn't love him any less and I would take care of him like a mother lioness takes care of her cubs..have you ever seen a mother lion take care of their own when threatened? It isn't pretty, hon. They will face anything in order to take care if their cubs or S/O whether they're in a wheelchair or not.
Sans, your omission to being in love is priceless! Your love and heart are much to be applauded and admired! Thanks for sharing your wonderful gift to us here...
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:54:47 PM | Clue: It has nothing to do with his wheelchair. It has EVERYTHING to do with his own self-confidence. Women are attracted to a man who is very confident about himself and who he is (not****, mind you...**** guys are really just very insecure and women can smell that a mile away).
The friend in the wheel chair saw himself as a man, not a man in a wheelchair. Therefore, the women saw him as a man. The chair just became something else to talk about. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:02:38 PM | Yes, I would give it a try just like to any other guy.
Now if he had escoliosis ( crooked spine)....that maybe I couldn't do.
I have noticed that when people lose some abilities, some other accentuate...so Im sure he can more than make up for the lack of ability in his legs.
I am not a very outdoorsy kind of person, so it doesn't affect me that much. If I love to go boating, biking, running, etc..then maybe it would limit what I love to do. Not my case. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:34:09 PM | | You can't help who your heart loves....If I fell in love with a man in a wheelchair then I would give my all to him... The wheelchair is irrelevant...It's who he is...and his heart...that matters. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:38:07 PM | | One has no control over who they are going to fall in love with regardless of whether they are in a wheelchair, have a missing limb etc.....I never say never anymore, because when I have I ended up doing it... | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 4:00:08 PM | I guess it would depend. Paralyzed neck down no I would not date that person. Now someone paralyzed from the waist down I can't really say yes or no.I would lean towards saying no,but then again I would not necessarily write someone off for that. Some people who have been paralyzed waist down still have full feeling in their genitals and can have a relatively active sex life. Although one position always would be boring and tiresome.Another important factor would be if his attitude was right,but from the people I have met and here from here who are paralyzed have a very sour bitter attitude and that is something I would not want to deal with.
The world owes us nothing so expect nothing from the world.We all have things we will accept and will not accept in the people we date. There is not one person out there who will take any warm and still breathing body just to avoid being alone. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 6:42:29 PM | | My cousin is confined to a wheelchair, and he's amazingly handsome, wickedly funny and brilliant. I have no doubt that if I were to meet a man like him - his wheelchair would not prevent me from dating him. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:38:42 PM | | This is such a tough question. I would do so if we were compatible and and genuinely liked each other. Another factor would depend on her self reliance, if this person can pretty much take care of themselves, then certainly, but then again people who care about each other also care for each other anyway. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:43:50 PM | If my sweetie were to become wheelchair-bound?
I'd accept it and we'd work it out.
Would I go out of my way to become interested in some that is ALREADY wheelchair-bound?
Probably not. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:47:11 PM | | I am ashamed of myself for saying this but I wouldnt consider it, there are many reasons for this and unfortunatly none of them would justify why....I am a shallow person I guess, honesty is a bit**....great post | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:44:38 PM | | OP, I'm sure you have plenty of people to talk to, but if you ever feel like talking, email me. I was in a wheelchair for six mths. Long story, I'd be happy to tell you if you want to talk. Anyway, I can definitely understand your frustration. I think it's hard for people to see someone in a wheelchair and really truly understand what it's like unless they've experienced it themselves. I know being in one myself completely changed my views. Wish you the best! :-) | |
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