| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/9/2009 11:17:02 AM | The issue has never come up...so I really don't know. Someone being in a wheelchair
would not necessarily be a reason not to date them.
I don't think I would pursue someone in a wheelchair...but then like I say...that issue
hasn't come up.
I think a lot of people (especially older people) and I'm speaking for myself here,
have spent a good part of their life(in some cases the BEST part of their life) as a caretaker already. Most have had families...raised children...sometimes taken care of elderly parents...etc. So I'm not sure we should judge them harshly when they say they would not pursue someone in a wheelchair because they might not be able to share the same interests they have. A lot of people in their 40's and 50's are seriously just starting to live.
Of course everyone needs love...but that doesn't mean everyone is required to love
you. The reasons you either pursue or choose not to pursue someone are your own
and you shouldn't have to justify them to anyone or feel badly about them.
Like other posters have said, if someone I knew or was in a relationship with already
became disabled and found themselves in a chair...I would not leave them.
I think sometimes we judge others too harshly in here.
But that's just my opinion. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/11/2009 2:29:39 AM | Yes I would date someone in a wheel chair if I was attracted to him....and we were really comfortable with each other....
There are restrictions etc and obstacles to over come, but nowadays there are places to visit etc and the restrictions to get around are fewer than they were years ago.... So yes. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:49:06 AM | | I would. I "met" someone online a few years ago who was in a wheelchair, and agreed to meet in person to see if we "clicked". I had no qualms about it at all - but his situation changed, so the meet never happened, to my disappointment. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:46:01 AM |
Sans, your omission to being in love is priceless! Your love and heart are much to be applauded and admired! Thanks for sharing your wonderful gift to us here...
*Just Jim*..no, thank you! You have the exact same gift as you claim I have, my special friend.
I just wish all of us could remember that anything could happen at any time to us or our S/O. Would we leave?? Would we stay?? At what cost??? I can't speak for anyone but me but there is no way in holy he!! I would leave the person I love for something as trivial as him being in a wheelchair or being diagnosed with a fatal disease. Real love is a quiet, fierce commitment in your heart to that person no matter what tragedies occur in the now or the future.
Sans | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:55:42 AM | Well yes i would consider it if i was attracted to the person and we clicked why not?
If you fall for someone it should not matter about their disabilty, colour, religion etc. | |
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rhodax
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 107 | |
| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/12/2009 10:38:47 AM | I just had another wonderful day with my sweetheart down at Granville Island. We shopped and ate some goodies from the Public Market then watched Impro-vivor at the New Revue Stage. However, there were four issues relating to her disability:
1) I would normally take Skytrain/transit when going downtown as traffic is horrible but, because of the hassles and time required I drove. Traffic was way better than I'd have imagined.
2) We actually remembered the parking decal for once and I got to park right at the venue without having to circle the island even once.
3) Had to hold open the women's washroom door for her (had a manager making a beeline for me  until he saw her wheeling out ).
4) Its difficult to get in a really good hug when she's in her chair.
I tell you these problems are almost insurmountable, should I become an alcoholic to handle the stress?  | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/12/2009 11:01:00 AM | | if i could have a normal, active sex life with him, then sure, i'd date a guy in a wheelchair. however, if he wasn't able to have sex, them i'd have to say no. for me it's a very important part of a relationship. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/12/2009 1:08:05 PM | | I dated a wonderful woman that was in a wheel chair and it was great she was very self efficient in fact the only time she needed assistance was to go from the chair to bed or in the bath and back again but everything else she was able to do for herself. We went hunting and fishing , boating and just about anything we wanted. Theres not a lot a person in a chair cant do so I would definiately date someone in a chair | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/12/2009 1:31:44 PM | .
boltroy1980,
Certainly I would if he and I were compatable; if his outlook on life was positive, his spirit genuine, his sense of independance strong, our interests similar and our differences compatable.
One of my first loves was a wonderful man who was blinded at the age of 11. He was the first man who ever told be i was beautiful whom i believed. I am friends with him still although we live far away from one another now. His life has been full, sucessful and rich, as has mine for knowing him.
I don't said that last in any form of condesention. I am aware that one person's challenge is not necessarily similar to anothers simply in that they both have one, but not having known anyone close who was wheelchair bound, I have used the colsest example i had in my experience.
Edited to add:
if i could have a normal, active sex life with him, then sure, i'd date a guy in a wheelchair. however, if he wasn't able to have sex, them i'd have to say no. for me it's a very important part of a relationship. Yes that would be very important. In the example of my friend i mentioned above. Mmmm. He was a musician and had the most incredibly sensitive hands.....oh, well, i won't go into any more details, but suffice it to say, I felt no lack in that area.
Namaste,
Ginny
 
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/12/2009 4:57:01 PM | | yes i would, i have been in nursing for 30 years and feel i could handle any situation that came up, and deal with it. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/12/2009 4:59:20 PM | | yes i would, i have been in nursing for 30 years and feel i could handle any situation that came up, and deal with it. | |
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| Would you ever consider?
Posted: 7/20/2009 1:03:27 AM | i messaged you a couple of weeks ago - PERHAPS if you had the good grace to reply to those who take the time to mail you (even if they are not your cup of tea - a poloite response aint going to kill you !!) - more good karma would come your way - its just a thought - afterall if you behave in the same ignorent way that most do on here - you really shouldnt expect much in return  | |
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