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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:11:56 PM |
my pool is smaller than a puddle! With a city upbringing and university education, I chose to live in a very rural area. The three single men in my area are not suitable!!!! I also note that the older I get, the "less-than-a-puddle" is re-infested with crazy and undateable.
Lil Brooker, what I know about the geography of Nova Scotia could be written inside a match book cover in grease pen, but geography was the first thing I learned to be flexible about, if I want to find a compatible, attractive woman. I live within a 3 hour drive of a population area of 11 million people, but if I restrict it to within 25 miles, that narrows it to about 50,000. So, while "local" would be nice, the reality is that I am willing to travel, a driveable distance, to be with someone attractive and interesting.. It expanded my "pool" 100 fold. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:12:51 PM | "Saying the wrong thing down there, could lead to imprisonment or execution. "
You have no clue how wrong you are. ................ People who have no clue, - who speak when they haven't even been there to see for themselves, but are so sure they are right............scary.............and they don't even know it.
Appropos of nothing at all, among my "must haves" is that she not be a lunatic.
Lunatic as those speak about things they do not know, haven't seen, just because the media/government tells them it is true. Avoid those who tow the party line.
Narrow minded or non travelled need not apply. FYI NA and the rest of the world are too totally different places with totally different mind sets.
If you don't see it with you own eyes, don't believe the media hype.
"what I know could be written inside a match book cover in grease pen"
That certainly says it all. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:39:50 PM | Re post #28
RanRanisback, you and I usually agreee, but I think this post was unnecessarily harsh towards LilBrooker. She is a reasonable, and attractive woman, who happens to live in the middle of nowhere. I have some empathy for that situation, while agreeing that, if she really wants to have someone in her life, it's likely to be a LDR. Otherwise, as she said, her pool is a puddle. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:52:54 PM | "Thread: narrowed dating pools? "
I think if your dating pool is very narrow, you can only do laps.
- No jumping in head first;
- No roughriding;
- No diving, even muff. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:08:49 PM | Hey young snowbird
Let me know what you think of the hairy armpits...LOL LOL LOL
Lbiker | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/5/2009 4:10:44 AM | I'm cool with my situation. Less of a complaint and more of a statement of reality. I will not move in hopes of finding a man. I have a sweet home, over 100 acres and a business that I love. I went to a HUGE garage party last night and I was the only single person (not woman, person) there outside of the teens and tweens.
My last relationship lived two hours away. We commuted for three years before I moved in with him and then did more of a commute to my job. We got engaged. I almost sold my home and almost said bye-bye to the business, but thank God, I didn't.
"Here for the forums only" means that there is still a dash of hope. This is a dating site, isn't it?
On edit:
Old hippy thinks hairy armpits are cute and natural on man or woman. I'm rather hairless and rarely shave. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/5/2009 6:05:14 AM | | Having some familiarity with Cape Breton and the rural social scene in general, while its true that the choices are smaller than in the city, you usually actually know a lot more people than you would in an urban environment, and the social action, once you get into it, is a lot more hot and heavy. A lot of the time its what you put into it. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/5/2009 6:29:29 AM | I was very selective, and would prefer to be alone than with the wrong person for me.
My match was one in a thousand, and that thousand had already been greatly limited by values, beliefs, interests, attitude, age, body type, and other factors, so really, my match was more like one in a million. I even travelled 8500 miles to date one woman who met my criteria, after we'd been in contact for 6 months. That came very close to working out, too.
The pool is huge, but I only wanted one drop. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:10:32 AM |
For me, if she's a liberal and over 30 she's undateable.
so you're just in this forum to post mean-spirited stuff about women over the age of 30???
gee, aren't you a "prince"????
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:34:23 AM | The "dating pool" that most people is already very limited.
Despite protestations on here from people on here who (according them) "can get somebody but don't want to settle" it's likely that there are many personality and appearance issues that limit the number of people that most of will us be able to be of interest TO, in a long-term,romantic nature.
I'm always amused that people seem to forget when they reach middle age, that their "success" in romantic encounters in the past is a likely indicator of the successes in the future. Hence,if you were a wallflower in high school,unless you move to Alaska or Montana (if you are a woman) or Florida or Arizona (if you are a man),you are probably going to be just as limited in adulthood. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:53:59 AM |
DivineBovine--research shows me that there about 750 active male members here at PoF in my preferred age range within 25 miles of me. you'd think that Moonchild and i should be able to find one for each of us.
750 sounds like a big number, but is it really big enough?
I know that I'm only going to find about 5% of women physically attractive to me, which, if there were 750, would leave 38. About half of those I find attractive, will be initially interested, thus leaving 19 possibles, based on appearance alone.
That's where the "must haves" on both sides start reducing the number. For example, I insist that a woman be sane and occasionally reasonable, which eliminates about 20% of people on an internet site, leaving 11 possibles. Personalities, dating styles, etc. will eliminate at least 1/2, leaving, maybe, 5 that might work in a 2 way match that's good enough to pursue seeing each other in real life.
If you were to expand geography that you'll consider, though, you would exponentially increase the size of your pool. I used to travel Ontario fairly regularly, and if memory serves me, you are about 2 hours drive from the Detroit/Windsor metro, and about 2 hours from Toronto. Not the ideal, perhaps, but doable, if sufficiently motivated to meet someone who "fits" well with you.
Just a thought. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:18:05 AM | of course it's probably not a big enough pool, ren.
but, as i point out, the dating pools for men in the metropolitan areas of both Toronto and Detroit are significantly large enough that they don't need to consider travelling very far to find someone suitable for themselves.
that 750 is only the men i haven't contacted. there's another 100 or so that i have contacted (in the 7 months since i reactivated my profile) and we have discarded each other for one reason or another.
a quick scale up to 50 miles gives me 1,000 potentials.
but, as i've said elsewhere, i don't drive and my last 3 relationships were of the long-distance variety and i have no desire to do that again. trawling further away isn't much of an option for me. which means i'm doomed to be single...
(eta - just went and looked what would happen if i upped the radius to 100 miles - the system stopped at 3,600 profiles - and that included men in both Toronto and Detroit)
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:13:44 PM | Age, No way do I date a person who wants kids
Political or religious beliefs that are so rigid they dont allow for another pov
Those are the two majors on my side. However as you observed many of us develop a pretty set behavior pattern as we age. Personally this old parrothead is in touch with his inner child and inner geek and that will narrow the dating pool because there are a lot of women who have no interest in someone who is into some of the things I am into and I have no interest in abandoning hard one peace with myself just to make someone else happy for a time.  | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:45:36 PM | My pool is about the size of a sake cup. Met most of the four single guys in my county many years ago. So it became the 'nets for me. What can I say? It's worked well. . . .
Whilst I wuz still lookin' I responded to inquiries from Montreal, Toronto, Brantford, Hamilton, London, BC, Philadelphia, North Carolina, WV, Arkansas, Wyoming, and Virginia a number of times. (Met guys from Brantford, London, Toronto. Still friends with 'em all.)
Ma hunny's three and a half hours away, though we're in the process of fixin' that, lol!
Be flexible, keep hope alive. . . .
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:24:40 AM |
a sleepy little burg like London
Well, looking at the forums I have come to the conclusion that London is chock full of gorgeous, available females. It may be sleepy, but the fishing there appears to be a lot more promising than in a lot of other places with supposedly larger ponds..... | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:07:50 PM | Well, looking at the forums I have come to the conclusion that London is chock full of gorgeous, available females. It may be sleepy, but the fishing there appears to be a lot more promising than in a lot of other places with supposedly larger ponds.....
Unless things have changed drastically, since I used to go to London every month from 1995-2000, it is one of my favorite cities in the world. There seem to be more attractive women per capita there, than any other city I can think of, and the women have, in general, a pretty good attitude.
The women from London who are on the POF fora, bear out that it's still true.
However, even tho I am now entering my 4th month of "forced" celibacy, I'm not quite at the level of "need" that it seems like a good idea to move from an area where Chicago/Milwaukee?Minneapolis/Rockford/Madison.....encompassing 11 million people within a 3 hour drive, to go to London with 100,000 people. Then there would be all the immigration issues. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:10:54 PM | It's not the size of the pool, it's the quality of the fish. lol Sorry....that's so cheesy. But I had to say it.
In all seriousness, if you try to be something your not to attract more people.. you're just living a lie and losing yourself as well. It's a miserable existence and not one a person can maintain for long and still be happy. At least the majority can't.
I don't mind the pool being smaller, personally. I mean, in the end.. don't we really want someone we can truly connect with for REAL reasons? I can only be who I am. That's all I want to be.  | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:39:31 PM | Of course DB is always armed with sound reasoning and statistical support. And having no experience with LDR's, perhaps my opinion is naive. Nevertheless.
If, sitting out on my deck on a beutiful summer evening soaking up the sunset, I'm overcome with desire for a cold beer, this will require a trip to the refrigerator. If this reveals an absence of the desired beverage, an even further trip to the beer store is in order. If that effort is too great, I have to ask myself if I ever really wanted a drink in the first place. Admittedly, it's not 300 miles to the beer store, but surely London to Toronto isn't an unreasonable cast of the net.
Incidentally, drinking analogies allow the cultured to substitute a fine wine for blue collar milk, but those who forward them probaly shouldn't be taken seriously anyway. Forgive them, they know not what they do. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:25:03 PM |
Then there would be all the immigration issues.
Indeed. You are probably a self sustaining, healthy, hard working employed person. Preference is given up this way to war criminals, terror suspects, pregnant women from third world countries, and the (distant) relatives of people who come from the poorer parts of the world. You would have a hell of a time getting in here.
Besides, I am keeping the London ladies for myself. Sort of like the current "Buy American" policies cropping up down there | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:38:32 PM | My grandfather said that you will "never find salmon in the carp pool"....
Back "in the day", I laughed about that....it isn't funny now! | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:52:19 PM | where do i begin....??
ren:
London with 100,000 people
it is a while since you've been here - current population is about 350,000, but it's still a sleepy little burg compared to my previous 2 residences in the centre of Ottawa and, before that, Toronto.
isabella:
It's not the size of the pool, it's the quality of the fish. lol Sorry....that's so cheesy. But I had to say it.
but truer words have never been spoken!
ranran:
London is a Canuckian college town.
alas we are now another casualty of the melt-down in the automotive industry. even the university that supplies us with fully 1% of the population and a starring role in Michael Moore's last movie doesn't help much.
chomskian:
...surely London to Toronto isn't an unreasonable cast of the net
though i regard myself as a  of finest quality, honestly, how many men would willingly make a 3 hour trip to meet someone when there are many, MANY thousands of women within 30 minutes to an hour??
rearguard:
I am keeping the London ladies for myself.
*tap, tap* waiting....
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:03:26 PM |
*tap,tap* waiting........
Another Londoner here! Don't hold your breath Ms. Divine........What I've encountered is that some don't want to leave the comfort of their own pool area. Even if they cast their lines in distant waters, they tend to be just practicing their *catch & release* technique.
As the OP pointed out, attitudes and attributes can be pretty ingrained. And, of course so can lifestyles. Some don't want to leave the comfort of their homes and locale. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:26:48 PM | ^^^and those in the large metro areas don't have to leave the comfort of their own pool.
which brings me back to my point that my 750 "potentials" is a much more accurate representation of the size of my pool than the 3,600+ one that includes metro Toronto and metro Detroit.
and, yes, it is a pretty narrow pool...
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