| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/30/2009 11:12:18 AM | | My only deal breakers are being married or separated, using tobacco products, being African American, and being unemployed or having a really low paying job. I don't think my requirements are unreasonable, although they seem to be. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/30/2009 12:43:45 PM |
Relatively few compared to what one sees today were overweight, had obvious mental problems or had developed addiction problems to a recognizable extent. Almost none of my acquaintance appeared to have been abused although I am certain some unfortunately were.
Ah, lol!, I remember that "pre-emergence" period from grad school. Most of it came out shortly *after* -- when life came on in all its real glory. Pity that we couldn't make them wear signs saying: Genetically, I'm destined to be a porker, or krezzy, or an alky. . . . How many of us would not be divorced now had all that been evident *then* ~~ Maybe we can arrange just to have 'em tattooed as babies, and save us all the trubble of even trying? Of course, that leaves out the congenitally self-centered, shallow, and boring. Science will have to get to work on that.
And how much *easier* life is now that so many unstables and unsuitables have taken themselves out of serious consideration! It's an ill wind that blows no good, hunh?
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/30/2009 8:46:12 PM | You see it on here every day True; it is both genders, not just men, that list out certain things that a person must be and those items are sooooo narrow that only a minute percentage of the population would even meet one of them, much less all of them and then the person magically wants only him or her. Eventually a small number of them will locate the one person who meets all the above criteria; a few more will accept the closest version they can get. The rest will just stay on here and the site will have to increase its space.
I've tried to not do that. I've already compromised my standards, appearance, goals, and more. I'm more flexible than I should be because I've been burned for it. I'm willing to try with a guy even if he lives far away. So I usually try to make sure the guy treats me as nicely as he would treat any other female whom he respected. Also, I try to not let an irl guy see that I'm interested first, or else he'll just play with me. Online is almost that bad. What do guys compromise? Nothing much that I've seen. They just spend their lives complaining they can't find somebody. Well, no they can't. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/30/2009 8:56:01 PM | | From my experience, I meet lots of available men, and even at my age, single men seem plentiful. From my perspective, the pool is not smaller, I just exercise more discretion in who I would want to spend time with. It's not about quantity, it's about quality. | |
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jbogie
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Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 130 | |
| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/30/2009 9:04:27 PM |
being realistic, though-- i have attributes/attitudes/interests that a lot of people might not connect with, from very leftwing political beliefs
well there ya go. when you put yourself on the fringe of political beliefs my guess is that you find yourself on the fringes of many aspects of life and that you hold strongly to your beliefs. and there just ain't many people on the fringes. i consider myself to be quite the centrist politically and in almost everything i can think of. i tend to consider many views of an issue whether it be something politcal such as wellfare or what i'm having for dinner. i guess what i'm saying is that i'm easy to please because i find as much right as wrong on both sides of an issue or a circumstance. so while i can identify with people on the right and the left, you're limited to your liberal cronies. seems simple really. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/30/2009 9:39:50 PM | It's always a struggle- even here in the POF superstore.
There could be lots of candidates but when you starting whittling it down-
Geography
smoking or non
age range
appearance
similar interests
mutual attraction
Your down to about 1 percent. In my area there are about 400 women active on here in my age range. That sounds like a big number but use those other criteria and your down to about 3 or 4. Then you have to get a response, start talking and maybe agree to meet.
Practically its almost zero. You also have to know theres like 800 men in your area so your in a battle to say the least.
But you never know- you have to play to win. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:05:36 AM | ^^^you and i are in the same city... i don't know what age range you're looking at but 400 sounds like a small number when i get about 750 men and that's including KCW.
but you drive, so your pool could be larger than mine if you're willing to consider the trip.
if you're like me and want someone nearby to actually spend time with, you're kind of stuck with the 400 of us!
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:34:42 AM | | There is an old saying that oposites attract Op. So possibly you should look for a Right Wing Consertive leaning type. You both could have the times of your lives trying to change each others thinking and beliefs. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:35:48 AM | OP, I think I know what you mean, and I compensated by expanding my dating pool farther afield. While there were many very nice people closer, few were really good matches or they were just not available at the same time I was. Most of the women I dated seriously lived at least 100 miles away - one was even in Hong Kong, and another in Tokyo. Fortunately for me, I eventually met someone only 100 miles away and eventually moved to be with her - best decision I ever made.
We're both liberal, open-minded, agnostic/Buddhist, introspective, and share many interests, from participating in martial arts to enjoying many of the same outdoor activities as well as books and movies. Besides that, we find each other very attractive and our libidos are well-matched.
In a practical sense, finding a good match wasn't easy as the suitable people are a very tiny percentage of the dating population. I can only say that you need patience and persistence, and perhaps a willingness to look beyond your comfort zone, whether that be a mental attitude or physical distance. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:39:29 AM | I really don't have my "wants" I just know what I don't want!
I don't want someone narrow minded (that pretty much leaves out anyone that is far left or far right including religeous beliefs)
I don't want to be absused,
I don't want an alky ( And I mean a real one)
I don't want someone to think he can live off of me.
And I am single with no pets, just FYI. ( been there, done that)
In fact most of the questions asked on this site for matching purposes. not relevant. I don't care!
outdoorgirl. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:24:02 AM | | So, if I put 5'8" to 5'10", 135 to 145 lbs, blonde, properly proportioned, divorced or widowed, children over 20, 42 to 46 YO, has a trust fund, a sailboat over 30', well-read with a recognition of the absurdities of life, likes to drink in the evenings, can cook (I'll clean up), has a winter home in Mexico near a marina, and has an majority ownership in a publishing company, and is looking for an unpublished writer to support.....that would help narrow it down to some woman here in Fort Worth? | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:38:16 AM | ^^^i'd say you're looking for a needle in a HUGE haystack and wish you good luck!
because you're going to NEED it!
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 12:10:56 PM |
if you're like me and want someone nearby to actually spend time with, you're kind of stuck with the 400 of us
Remember that corny old song , by Huey Lewis & the News, "Happy to be stuck with You"?
Well if you search out to 50 miles, you will top out at 700 results. When you start refining you will find less and a lot of profiles that haven't been activate in a long time.
I think that if POF did a cleanup- say delete inactive profiles after one year- the numbers on here would drop dramatically and it could save them some server space. This would save some search time for folks too.
Yes you could travel a ways- I have before- but it does make it a little difficult to really make a relationship unless both sides are really motivated. But for the purposes of comparing numbers , I think my search is local (25 miles) and smoker. This cuts the numbers down quite a bit.
It used to state somewhere on the site there was a ratio 1 women to 1.5 men in Ontario on POF. So if every 2 girls would split 3 men between them on average- everyone would have a date. LOL I think that would get a little- complex. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 12:31:05 PM | ^^^back on page 2 of this thread, i did do a quick statistical analysis of the potential dating pool for this area.
the results i'm getting are for 25 miles - which seem to be pretty generous here in PoFLand since i know KCW is more than 25 miles away. when i up it to 50 and 100 miles, the numbers go WAY up.
i can't travel (never learned how to drive) and my last 3 relationships were long distance and i just don't want to do that any more.
my search is local and non-smoker - what cuts my pool way down is (yes, here we go again) my weight. a significant number of men in this town are gym rats and specify they want "fit" women.
It used to state somewhere on the site there was a ratio 1 women to 1.5 men in Ontario on POF. So if every 2 girls would split 3 men between them on average- everyone would have a date. LOL I think that would get a little- complex.
just a bit - yes!
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 12:39:45 PM | Gee Miss Bovine? It would appear that I should take the time to do a search! lol...
What to the men that want "fit" women, want them "fit" for? I have read the posts within this very thread and have seen a lot where must have this, can't have that...lists go on and on. Is our dating pool more narrow now than when 21? Well if we could all remember that far back, me thinks the answer would be an astounding yes! | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 3:16:33 PM | I'm also counting on bumping into "him" in real life, so I really don't care what the stats are here, either.
The POF dating pool population isn't all that abundant where I live, unless you're willing to go into the deep end and frolic with the bottom feeders and throwbacks.
EDIT: That should get me a date! NOT! Not getting any action now, so why should I care if I'm politically correct anymore? IRL......is where it'll happen, if it's suppose to.
BTW JTnFW....my winter place is in Jamaica. Too bad you're looking at Mexico.....It's always something. Isn't it? | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 3:20:13 PM | ran said,
I've learned a lot here - it hasn't been time completely wasted and once in a while someone interesting does pops up. So my 'pool' is has more to do with luck than numbers. It's always been that way.
No question, as once you learn the mechanics of who actually wants to date, and who is here for other wise, helps in narrowing the dating pool and less time wasted.
As much at times like the fora folks, very few, really want to date let along talk in the present.
Regardless of their wants and needs it's really means their profile or life is under construction at the moment and still healing, need interacting cuz their house bound, lonely, need to vent,etc.
And no disrespect of those who use the fora for that, cuz if it makes you feel better but still aloof nonetheless, is ok. And if that's the case it's ok to talk the talk, but not ready, to walk the walk. lol | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 4:18:13 PM | | Jim, are you finding that to be the case with people who actually live close enough to meet you or just in general your opinion of women on the forums and on POF? | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 6:00:08 PM | I would say that for the most part,but not all, that would be the case.
And it really has nothing to do to dating per say, as I do find some women here very intelligent and interesting. And I would just love to say hi and talk to them person to person at times, but they for what ever reason they make some silly excuse in not to.
Shyness,perhaps yet they seem quite vocal on the fora. And at times we compliment each other here, so it's not like we don't know each other or it's just out of the blue.
So,what do you think? | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 6:13:58 PM |
As much at times like the fora folks, very few, really want to date let along talk in the present.
Regardless of their wants and needs it's really means their profile or life is under construction at the moment and still healing, need interacting cuz their house bound, lonely, need to vent,etc.
And no disrespect of those who use the fora for that, cuz if it makes you feel better but still aloof nonetheless, is ok. And if that's the case it's ok to talk the talk, but not ready, to walk the walk. lol
I resemble that remark! (nuck, nuck,nuck,nuck)
Jim- I think a number of us have been out there for a while, fighting to battle, getting in the trenches, and not winning the war. Probably time for a break, heal your wounds, strategize and commiserate with some similar folks.
Maybe we'll come out refreshed with some new thoughts, outlooks and attitudes. And maybe read some interesting things or just have a good laugh or a "spirited discussion". Hopefully -someday we'll put ourselves out there and succeed. Personally, it beats TV by a wide margin. Least your interacting with some people. Gotta start someplace. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 7:09:29 PM | "Well, I see that I need to bring some reality back to this thread.
Some of you need to face the fact that you are getting old. There really are more important things to life. And let's get real here, most people in our age group who find a companion, eventually break up. Stop stressing over this silly stuff and buy a Cat already, I did."
This is the best thing I have read on POF in the month I have been here!!
Re. Msg. 121 | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 7:23:45 PM | Please tell me you did not buy a cat when we have so many many homeless cats begging for a home. In fact, Pasado's animal rescue is right in your city.
Help stop kitty and puppy mills - ADOPT. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 7:25:59 PM | | I just adopted a 2 year old Bullmastiff last June from a rescue in Colorado. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:51:17 PM | It was message No. 121 that said he bought a cat. That was what I was referring to.
Keep up the good work. I also take a stand against breed specific legislation which wants to eliminate breeds like pitbulls. There are no bad dogs, only bad humans.
I'll take a pitbull over Michael Vick any day. | |
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| narrowed dating pools?
Posted: 8/31/2009 10:11:54 PM | Yes I know you were referring to msg 121 but since you are in the dog rescue business I thought you would appreciate my adoption of a dog as opposed to purchasing.
Now to go back to the topic of this thread, it appears that the dating pool is very large especially here on POF. So why is it there are so many men and women looking but at least from what I can tell that's all they seem to be doing. | |
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