| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:37:12 PM | Irish Eyes...I'm glad you've started this thread...I'm sitting here with a close Filipino friend and we were discussing the exact same thing...She said that her mother/Grandmother have always told her and her sisters to play down their intelligence and strength in front of a man....Keep in mind this friend is average looking but around men she has them eating from the palms of hands....
So from this observation, and perhaps many others I have come to the conclussion that MOST men are in fact intimidated by strong/intelligent women. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:49:49 PM | There are those who display their intelligence verbally, and those who show their intelligence silently. It is seen with the eyes, felt with the heart...a sound that is not heard with the ears.
It's strength is.....wisdom! | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:55:57 PM |
but I find most men seem to pass me by
Most men pass most women by; you have to be pretty darn hot/rich/available to be able to have most men not pass you by. And what would you do with all that attention anyway? Forget names, get tired of going out every night, long for the phone not to ring, wonder if you'll ever get all your emails answered. Seriously, you are much better off having most men pass you by.
But, I don't think most men are intimidated by intelligence - unless you are contradicting them all the time (this is how I avoid second dates, and even second emails). But then, who likes to be contradicted all the time? And then there are men who simply cannot believe a woman could be more intelligent than they are, no matter how much evidence exists and so are unlikely to be intimidated. However, some men undoubtedly are. If you are referring to men on here, I think it's more likely they would be intimidated by two kids, your busy schedule, or even the fact that you are a very dedicated Christian. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:57:36 PM |
Does an intelligent woman intimidate you?
Yes. Yes she does. So do independent women. So do tall women. So do short women. So do women with a pulse. Everything about women is intimidating. With all these superior women running around these days, what chances do I have of fulfilling my dreams of being the intimidator? The tyrant ruling my home with an iron fist over my timid wife and fearful children? None I tells ya... NONE! An intelligent woman would be able to sniff those intentions out in mere seconds and my plot would be foiled. Drat! | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:03:23 PM | | I'd have to disagree with your conclusion Arabianangel, Just because a woman knows how to flatter an manipulate men, does not mean that Most men are intimidated by intelligence. Men and Women with IQ's from 10 to 200 are susceptible to being charmed, but when it comes to choosing a Significant Other, they are most likely to choose someone with their same level of intelligence. Most men have an average IQ and if Irish Eyes has a higher than average IQ, there's a good chance Most men could possibly find it intimidating. There is also an even better chance that she is going to find those men undesirable. One of these days, hopefully soon, the right fish will swim by and be just the type she wants. Until then, she may have to wade through the average to find the right one. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:15:03 PM |
Really...I'd like to hear from you men out there! :)
Kinda hard to do that when your filters don't always include them (men). You're target market is at a crossroads in life...many are more intent on finding someone who will help define their life rather than someone who can contribute independently to your life and you would do the same.
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:25:53 PM | | I have no problem with meeting intelligent women. The last woman who boasted that to me turned out to have a very closed mind, but might well have been intelligent. I like upbeat and positive more than intelligence. Closed-minded and hard-headed turns me off regardless of intellectual capabilities. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:51:42 PM | Well, IrishEyes, as I mentioned before...confidence makes a huge difference in the way you're received. Confident, not boisterous. Far too many people confuse the two, or improperly utilize one for the other.
"Swagger" is the slang term used today...crap (Wow...I just aged myself 30 years with that one...lol). Anyway, express yourself in your mannerism, accord, and cantor, and I have no doubt that these along with those eyes and smile, and men will have no choice but to be impressed and not intimidated. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:37:47 AM |
I hope this made sense...it feels disjointed.
Well hopefully them joints feel reconnected now.
OP: You sound wonderfully pleasant to me.
Honestly, I discovered, after the fact, that my woman has her Master's degree and it kinda intimidated me.
The intelligence didn't, but the piece of paper did.
I'm a damn smart cookie and I know it. But that whole Master's degree thing gets me wondering sometimes if I can measure up.
She seems to enjoy my company and conversation though. So I don't think on it for long.
In your case, you just need to wade through the pond scum before you discover something substantial.
Just don't get stuck on looking at guys based on demographics. A person's match is often not what they'd expected. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:49:56 AM |
The day I can found a strong, yet sensible, intelligent yet who knows how to be crazy, Feminine without be a Barbie princess, confident without been arrogant, who can be independent and a teamplayer at the same time, one that is educated yet can put her nose down and enjoy simple things, who take care of herself without high maintenance or obsession s, who know what and when (and the list goes on..balanced in a word):
Ill cross the world if I have to, marry her on the spot and keep her at my side until the end of time.
I'm in Michigan...
Like... oh my gawwwwd... Helllloooooooo people!
The only problem is, I don't seem to do so well with committment {{sigh}} But hey, other than that ;-D | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:30:15 AM | Intelligence is a requirement for my potential partner, not a detriment. I was married to a woman who was at least as intelligent as I, if not more. I've since dated women who were not as intelligent and found that I simply couldn't maintain a meaningful relationship with them. If I wanted a ditz I would buy a blow up doll so I wouldn't have to buy dinner or drinks.  | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:50:42 AM | | I would never be intimidated by intelligence in a woman. In fact I love to meet such people. But there are different kinds of intelligence, of course. Some people have a remarkable emotional intelligence, a capacity to perceive the whole person and context before them - others have the more traditional intellectual range and profundity, a wide understanding of a discipline or culture as well as a skill with processes of reasoning. This idea can be developed to include other kinds on intelligence. Also, knowledge and intelligence are not necessarily the same thing anyway. I suppose I am an "intellectual" person in my interests but I do try to wear my learning lightly in real life situations - I think that is the best way! | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 3:42:14 AM | | intelligent women are extremely attractive to me! A smart woman is usually a true romantic from wht I have experienced. I like a woman with a good head on her shoulders | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 4:43:34 AM | | I like to think i'm a serious minded guy but i know how to be mr "i don't know" when needed. I have learned over the years to keep my circle small and have engaged in many rewarding intelligent conversations with people on here that i'll probably never meet. Being a people person allows me to come in contact with people from all walks of life and depending on the circumstances i know how to smart up or dumb down when need be. I never knew what is the criteria for judging intelligence, I know people that never went beyond elementary school but there street smarts made them and there conversation brilliant.And i know people that a four year college grads blah.blah.blah that talk so far over your head you wonder if they believe what there talking about. All in all for me i take it one person at a time and depending on the circumstances interlect can only be determined by what your ear hears and your brain percieves at that moment. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 5:06:56 AM | Hey Everybody!
Thanks so much for all of your great responses! I wish I could answer them all! Keep'em comin'..... I'm still reading! :) | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 5:08:40 AM | I am not intimidated by intelligent women at all. In fact, I find them much more interesting and even exciting. And yes, I am a very serious minded man. I am however, turned off by those that show their lack of intelligence.
I am also put off by women that flaunt there educational background and think their list of degrees is proof of their intelligences. It's not. I've known many educated idiots, both male and female.
Will Rogers said it best: "Every man is ignorant, cept on a different subject"
Give me an intelligent serious minded woman any day. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 5:17:46 AM | OP thank you for such a wonderful topic. What fantastic men we have here...................and Gwen thinks she lives too far away.................. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 6:37:00 AM | most mature men shouldn't be intimidated by an intelligent member of the opposite sex.
i find them to be fascinating creatures myself. there are a lot of intelligent men and women out there.
i guess some men look at their brain like their penis.
if a woman is smarter....the guy feels inferior.
i said some though irisheyes....not all :) | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 6:54:42 AM | I got to thinking about this a little more. Intelligent women don't intimidate me at all. I embrace intelligent women just as much as I embrace those women who are not so intelligent, whatever the heck that means. To me intelligence is measured by how well a woman/man takes care of herself/himself and how happy they are in life.
What DOES intimidate me is a woman who knows more about Baseball, Football and Hockey than I do. As I am losing a lot of interest in professional sports in general, its becomiing more and more apparent that women know more, in some cases, much more than I do. Being a former athelete and huge sports fan, especially baseball and hockey, that can be a big blow to my ego! | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:15:34 AM |
I simple cannot fathom why anyone would pretend to be dumb.
I do.
Those who hate smart people are legion.
No one wants to look stupid, and the best way to look smart for some is to chase off anyone smarter, thereby leaving yourself the "smartest" person around.
Why would you worry about what others think or try to be/stay in the company of those who hate anyone--regardless of whether that hate is directed toward smart people, man, women, race/ethnicity or any other factor? There are many different types of people, and I seek those who do not hate based on such factors.
I can't pull off looking stupid, so I do the next best thing: I simply avoid society as much as possible, thus removing the friction.
I mean no offense, but somehow, I don't think your intelligence is what keeps you out of society--there is something else in your personality or going on in your life.
Perhaps there will come a time when smart people are treated with respect again, but I'm not placing any bets on it.
When I was young, I used my brain like a weapon because I was fat, "different," and seemingly had no redeeming qualities. I was sometimes chastised by my few friends for coming across as intellectually aloof or superior (those weren't the words they used). My reputation then was well deserved.
Since becoming an adult, however, and becoming much more secure in who I am as a person, intelligence is only one of my positive factors. I can truthfully say that I can't remember a time in recent history when I was disrespected for being intelligent. Getting along well with others isn't about being smart or stupid: is about knowing how to approach and talk to people.
When I meet someone new, often the first thing we talk about is our occupations. I tell the person that I teach college English and add, with a wink, "I am a lot smarter than I look." It always brings a laugh.
I live in backwoods Missouri, not exactly a hotbed of intellectuals, but somehow, I integrate well on different levels without hiding my intelligence or feeling the need to isolate myself because I am smart. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:47:48 AM | | I'm not intimidated by intelligent people. I am annoyed by those who feel like it's necessary to tell me they are intelligent, since the intelligence ought to be self-evident. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:22:32 AM |
I am annoyed by those who feel like it's necessary to tell me they are intelligent, since the intelligence ought to be self-evident.
 I laugh at those types of things. try something fun sometime. assemble together all of someones words used and then seperate them into catagories like talking about themselves then also split them even further by lining up all the statements made that all say the same thing just worded differently.
It is quite funny to read things that way. Several on these forums start sounding like a skipping record saying the same things over and over again.
I completely agree with your statement. It is one of the many things in life that does not need to be said. It is a self evident trait that just a short time talking with someone shines through. It is not so much HOW things are said but rather WHAT is said that seems to make the biggest difference for me at least. | |
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*Aris*
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Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 74 | |
| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:33:12 AM | okay Irish Eyes to tell you what you want to hear the more intelligent the women the more intimidated I feel...ummm but seriously I'm passive regardless. I think your question brings up the issue of gender roles. Traditionally, men play the role of being rational and women play the role of being moral; I asked my feminist friend and she said that is so true. So to rephrase your question: "because I'm intilligent do men find me too masculine?", implying that perhaps you lack a feminine quality and are a 'cold-hearted ****' - that is the intimidation factor that men feel or deny they feel.
okay Irish Eyes another aspect to your question is you have taken a desirable trait about yourself and begun to doubt it, thereby creating conflict within yourself. I'm implying here that your the source of your own frustration. I'd suggest finding a way to effectively cope and appropriately respond to the one liners that men dish out instead of giving them the silent treatment cause I'm sure that frustrates them too. You want difference well then act different, as Ghandi said "be the change you want". | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:35:38 AM | I'm not intimidated by intelligent people. I am annoyed by those who feel like it's necessary to tell me they are intelligent, since the intelligence ought to be self-evident. Those that post IQ scores drive me nuts. If they are that intelligent, then they know that they also have to state which test it was as there are different tests.
Those that boast crap on their profile. If you are that intelligent, why do you have to tell me? I.E. above quote.
Those that ridicule those that belong to Mensa and say things like Mensa members are all boring and don't know how to converse, but I know that I could join if I wanted too. Yeah, I am sure they have met so many Mensa members!
People that ridicule others on the threads commenting on their degrees to insult the poster to make themselves seem superior or much more intelligent.
Men that think they know everything about a woman's orgasm and how it all works. Unless a man has been a woman, the only thing he knows is what he is told, where does he get off telling me how or what I should think or feel. A man like this thinks he is so intelligent and it obvious he is preaching trying to make everyone believe he knows everything.
Yeah, pretty tired of the know it alls. | |
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