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Ependa
| | Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 152 | |
| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:45:04 PM | Perspective from one intelligent woman to another...
Continue to be you. You know what you want now and have balance. You earned this, enjoy it. I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything in the world..great , isn't it? =)
Not to be snotty, but don't worry about the 'hey baby, wanna hang out sometimes??' guys. You don't want the ones that are intimidated by your intelligence anyway.
The men who appreciate this and who will accept no less than an intelligent, confident woman who is in touch with herself are not as rare as you think. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/9/2009 11:37:16 PM | A man likes to feel like he is needed and important.
He likes to think that if his wife/girlfriend has a problem, he can sort it out for her.
Men like to fix things.
So basically, if you can fix your own problems, and make your man feel like he's not really needed for anything. Then, he's going to feel like he is not needed and that you don't need him cause you can do it all yourself.
There is nothing wrong with being intelligent, its how you display that intelligence. If you shoot him down when he suggests something or always correct him, or speak for him, act as though he is dumb and so.. Then, whether he is a man or not, no one likes that.
Maybe you need to look at how you respond, behave, react, and how others perceive you. Maybe its best to ask some of your past boyfriends and your current friends how they perceive you, how you make them feel etc.. Then and only then will you know your answer. Make sure you ask them to be direct and honest in their answers.
I think you might be surprised how those around you actually perceive you. :) | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/10/2009 4:24:17 AM |
I'm tired of "hey baby, wanna hang out sometime??"
Really...I'd like to hear from you men out there! :)
Somehow I can't help thinking this comes across as her merely issuing an invitation to "hey guys, wanna hang out sometime and talk about how smart I am and how much you like me??"  | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/10/2009 4:36:09 AM |
ps... and we learned we could end a sentence with a preposition. grins
No! You can't!!
Try this:
"We learned what a vast ocean of things there were that we did not know and that we had become expert students in a tiny brick of knowledge."
(sorry, couldn't help myself, smart ass at work here... ]. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:13:00 AM |
A man likes to feel like he is needed and important.
He likes to think that if his wife/girlfriend has a problem, he can sort it out for her.
Men like to fix things.
Men need to learn they can be wanted for who they are, not what they can solve. Eventually they can be needed for being there...not for what they have or what they can do. These are new times. People should be worth more than their skills...talk to all the men who complain women want them around only to fix car stuff, house stuff, pay for something, lift heavy stuff, etc. They then complain they aren't appreciated for who they are. Which is it?
So basically, if you can fix your own problems, and make your man feel like he's not really needed for anything. Then, he's going to feel like he is not needed and that you don't need him cause you can do it all yourself.
He has problems he can fix...it's crap that men would think they have no purpose if they can't solve OUR problems. Are we needed to solve his problems or does he have that covered too? We should all be responsible for our own stuff. An SO can be enjoyed for their company. How they make us feel by being in our lives. Plain and simple.
There is nothing wrong with being intelligent, its how you display that intelligence. If you shoot him down when he suggests something or always correct him, or speak for him, act as though he is dumb and so.. Then, whether he is a man or not, no one likes that.
Now that I agree with. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:51:39 AM | Its funny how woman ask for a mans advice and then shoot them down when they give their answers..
If people stopped trying to change their partners to suit them, the world would be a better place..
Woman are woman and men are men. Same species, different genders, different ways of thinking, different ways of problem solving, different spatial abilities, different out-look on life, different hormones running through our bodies..and so on..
Why can't woman accept that men are different and always will be.. ?
Why can't men accept that woman are different and always will be..?
Personally, I would prefer to be with an intelligent woman that is able to have a conversation that suits both our intellects. I don't get intimidated by an intelligent woman but, I do get put off by woman that are trying to prove something to the world.. Just be yourself rather than trying to prove you are better than men or other woman around you. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:59:54 AM | ^^^We are bioligically permanent. All else is based on society and conditioning. No one is ingrained to do anything. Some things are seen as part of a gender because for a long time they were acceptable in a certain era. Times have changed.
But ok if you feel that way, then we can all go back to only calling you guys to come fix things for us...instead of liking you as people. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:14:21 AM | I like women who are smart.
I don't like women that the first thing they say is "I don't hide the fact that I have a modicum of intelligence".
Smart, confident people don't tell me they are smart, they realize I'll know. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:24:45 AM | | Hell no, an intelligent female does not intimidate me. That's a turn on for me and I like a female that can hold down a conversation and can communicate properly without the whole guessing game. I can't stand bimbo stupid females that think they are holier than thou or just plain stupid. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 5:20:14 AM |
We are bioligically permanent. All else is based on society and conditioning. No one is ingrained to do anything. Some things are seen as part of a gender because for a long time they were acceptable in a certain era. Times have changed.
Some things are nature and others are nurture.
There is loads of scientific evidence that demonstrates the biological difference between a female and a male. Differences in neurons, hormones, brain structure and size, different locations of the brain becoming active while doing the same tasks and so on. There is plenty of documentation on the spatial difference between genders.
It is naive to think that men and woman are the same and that the only reason we are different is because of education systems, environment, nurture etc. If that was the case, then scientists, psychologists, neurologists and so on, would be unable to find any genetical or biological differences. Go and study a 4 year psychology degree and you will learn about the differences between men and woman that are not due to environmental influences.
But ok if you feel that way, then we can all go back to only calling you guys to come fix things for us...instead of liking you as people
Where did I say that that woman should only call on a guy to fix stuff instead of liking them as a person?
The 'radical' feminists would have men put in a box, they would like a world without men, they want to dominate men and so on. The feminist movement was meant to help educate men (chauvinistic males) that woman are also capable of doing things that men do and that woman should be treated fairly and equal to their male counterparts. Radical feminists are those woman that want to treat men like dirt, seek revenge for past grievance and so on. This type of attitude does not help anyone. It doesn't help woman and it doesn't help men. These types of feminists want equality when it suits them and dependence when it suits them. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 5:53:52 AM | i'm as thick as mince but i love smarter women. why?
- conversation
- ability to think for them self
- get a good job like myself (HGV driver)
- dont act stupid
thats why :) i may be thick but i like to think smart. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 6:17:44 AM | Intelligence in a woman doesn't intimidate me whatsoever. In fact, it's necessary. Otherwise, 75% of the things I like to talk about would just make the woman roll her eyes and phase me out. "He's being a know-it-all again". Which happens a lot when a woman has no intellectual curiosity at all. You're made to feel weird just for bringing up a topic like politics or religion.
But that's who I am. It's important to me. Maybe I'm arrogant enough about my own intelligence to not feel threatened. Who knows. I can't speak for guys who have no intellectual curiosity themselves. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 6:24:26 AM | It depends on what intelligence is accompanied by.....
Intelligence and presumptuousness? Out
Intelligence and coldness? Out
Intelligence and tasteless outlook? Out
Intelligence, beauty, warmth , and wisdom? IN 
Even a psychopath can be highly intelligent.
Sometimes men are a bit intimidated by intelligent women who come across as totally self-sufficient, practically and emotionally. It's the nature of man that wants to protect ( not dominate, but protect). | |
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jbogie
| | Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 167 | |
| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 6:39:16 AM |
Does an intelligent woman intimidate you? I'm older, I don't hide the fact that I have a modicum of intelligence, but I find most men seem to pass me by. I'm tired of "hey baby, wanna hang out sometime??"
Really...I'd like to hear from you men out there! :)
what is it that makes "intelligent women" think they are something special? i don't get it. i doubt that there are any more intelligent women out there than there are intelligent men and yet i don't see intelligent men asking questions like this. there's a similar thread like this about "strong willed women" intimidating men. bull crap. i consider myself strong willed and intelligent. so what? neither has a damn thing to do with whether women "pass me by". you're grabbing at straws irish eyes. nobody's passing you by because you're intelligent. btw, who is it that says you're intelligent? | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 7:34:20 AM | What a crock!
1. Einstein was intelligent, yet he played with dolls. Gender makes no difference.
2. Intelligent people don't need to broadcast their intelligence, it's clear whether they
are or aren't!
3. Intelligence is nothing without common sense.
4. Intelligence is nothing without good communication skills.
5. Intelligent people learn to identify their audience and speak at their level.
Do intelligent women intimidate me? Not in the least. There's always someone more intelligent than us! | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 7:52:10 AM | | Intelligence really doesn't mean a whole lot to me, as long as you can read and write. Actually no matter how smart we all think we are, there is always something I know that you don't and something you know that I don't. If you are a carpenter, then I'm sure there is something there I can learn, or a computer geek, I could sure learn something from that person. So........don't put yourselves too up there, there is always someone smarter. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:30:39 AM | | No,Intelligent women do not intimidate me,on the contrary i am attracted to intelligent women.Stupid women are a complete turn off for me. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:37:32 AM | Of course intelligent women are attractive to me.
But you need to define "intelligence"..
I prefer an educated and experienced woman any day.
I went to a 16k/yr college prep high school, then to college for over 6 yrs. Then went back to get another degree in a different field. Needless to say, I make very good money now.
I doubt I'll meet a woman as educated as me, unless she is a doctor or lawyer.
Being too smart can sometimes backfire because all the women your age seem to be "dull and shallow" at times. So I usually seek out older women who have at least experienced a few things in life. | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:44:15 AM | | Absolutely Nothing. This stupid woman does not know what she's talking about. And just for the record THE TEN COMMANDMENTS was NEVER abolished andNEVER will be!!! | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:44:36 AM |
Some things are nature and others are nurture.
There is loads of scientific evidence that demonstrates the biological difference between a female and a male. Differences in neurons, hormones, brain structure and size, different locations of the brain becoming active while doing the same tasks and so on. There is plenty of documentation on the spatial difference between genders.
True, some things are biological and some not. That's what I said. However obviously women and men are changing these days, which means that there's a lot that happens based on the era/decade genders are living in.
It is naive to think that men and woman are the same and that the only reason we are different is because of education systems, environment, nurture etc. If that was the case, then scientists, psychologists, neurologists and so on, would be unable to find any genetical or biological differences. Go and study a 4 year psychology degree and you will learn about the differences between men and woman that are not due to environmental influences
You're having an extreme reaction to what I said - I said there ARE biological differences, among other things.
Being emotional, having a certain sex drive, needing to be needed, and a few other things that get assigned to gender in these threads isn't based on DNA - they are based on conditioning. Why do you think for years men expressed anger and women cried when feeling any one of a bunch of emotions? They were taught it was acceptable. It's not ingrained.
Where did I say that that woman should only call on a guy to fix stuff instead of liking them as a person?
When I said it would be better for men to learn to enjoy being wanted for who they are instead of needed for what they can do, buy, bring or fix, you disagreed. What else would you mean by that? | |
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| A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:12:45 AM | Sometimes men are a bit intimidated by intelligent women who come across as totally self-sufficient, practically and emotionally. It's the nature of man that wants to protect ( not dominate, but protect).
I hear this often, but what I guess i've never understood is how should a person come across if they don't want to come off as self sufficient, practically and emotionally?
If a woman is not self sufficient emotionally, who is she requiring to fill her emotions? How would a person reflect this? I guess I am stymied as to what a person would do to say "here, I need someone to fill my emotions"? Why can't a person be at peace first as a person? And then hear about women being moody, emotional basketcases and needy, and that is a turnoff, if she does show vulnerability in her emotions. Then I hear about them being cold, thriving in showing their own capableness, and overly independent, and that being a turnoff, if they don't.
How does a woman show need for positive interaction with another human being without being needy, how does a woman show vulnerability without showing weakness, how does a woman stand on her own two feet because she is being the mom and dad for her kids as well as homeowner and worker and single parent, without looking like she's standing arrogantly and nose thumbing at guys for having to do the role because there is no one else around to do it?
There is so much negativity on how we supposedly come off, but no one yas said how we're supposed to fix it without it being weird or going the other direction?
We all have intelligence in different ways; but i guess it's easier for me to understand Tolstoy than understand how to portray strength and capableness and independence without it coming off cold, isolationist and noncaring according to some perceptions; because I, at least, am VERY much not cold; I love people, I have a huge heart for people; I just always was taught you never, ever show weakness and you never fail when you are forced to do something; no matter what. You figure a way to get it done. Especially when three kids and many clients are counting on you and you are what they have.
This is all I know. I don't know how to make it appear more "gentle" or more outward focused; I am the least arrogant person I've ever known at heart; but I am often mistaken for arrogant, entitled, intimidating and hyper strong by some, at least by those who look for or assume those things without bothering to get to know me. I suspect I am far from the only one dealing with this particular misconception or assumption..
It's funny people's perceptions...
if everyone took a day to walk in each other's shoes and look out each other's eyes, I wonder how surprised we'd all be..... | |
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