| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 5:19:42 AM |
I am wondering if anyone has good things to say about their ex. Of course there are people such as this out here...
There have been times that I've posted about things that happened with my former s/o and myself and I get a barrage of mail from people asking me why the hell it ended because he's so perfect. I tell them that it was simply time...
He'll always hold a piece of my heart, and I wish him the absolute best in his current life... but more importantly, I don't regret a single moment I spent with him and even knowing that it would have to end at some point, I would do it all over again not changing a single thing...
Of course there's also been the ex that has run me through the wringer... I don't mention him simply because it's not worth the time or effort... and then there's the one that I laugh about the whole relationship and joke about my sobering up being the cause of the break up... 
Life isn't all sunshine and buttercups... I simply prefer to either smile or laugh at life rather than lament the negatives. After all...
Life is too short to be serious all the time; none of us get out alive.  | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 6:04:56 AM | My ex-girlfriend was the best relationship I ever had. I really loved that girl. However at the end of the day we both wanted different things and circumstances just saw us eventually move in other directions.
I have nothing but good things to say about her and yes, I miss her greatly sometimes, but I have no doubt in my mind that I made the right decision and I'm all the better a person for it. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 6:52:40 AM | | I actually still keep in touch with one of my ex's. My current BF knows this so this is no secret to him. He was an ex from years ago and although I did care about him more than a friend a long time ago, I still care about his well being as I would a friend today. We were and still are better off friends than we were lovers. He is a very sincere, honest and kindhearted man. He too is happily involved and his GF who also knows we keep in touch now and then. There are absolutely no hidden feelings between us whatsoever and it is totally a mutual friendship that we share. He's a wonderful man and I have nothing but great things to say about him. It's not often that these sort of things happen, but it's certainly not a situation that's unheard of. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:07:11 AM | Every ex has taught me something to grow as a person, so even if the breakup was bitter in the long term it was well worth it. I see no reason to be bitter about life or the relatinships I have been in, I see them as a growing experience.
Exhusband.... he is a good father and loves our daughter more then his own life, so eventhough our marriage didn't work out seeing that is well worth it. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:10:40 AM | | When you are emotionally indifferent you are over .. the "ex" .. most of the men I have met online here for a tweak out of cyber space .. into reality and a coffee.. are still emotionally embroiled in their heads in the past.. and you can't live in today if yesterday is biting yo azz off.. now can yah... the best sign to say .. tootles is a guy that cannot invest because he is wasting his energy on something non existent.. sad .. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:26:01 AM | All my exes are good men each in his own way. One of them was a magnificent man with a heart as kind as anyone could be.
I wouldn't have married them if they weren't all men of great value and worth. The reasons for ending were as varied as the men themselves. With greatness and goodness comes the darker side also in many cases.
We can't control human behavior, but we can make decisions for ourselves based on the opinions, the values and the treatment of us by another.
My choice was to leave and it wasn't the wrong choice.
Some people have such dynamic personalities that they require a dynamic mate. With all that personality many times comes the trouble. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:30:14 AM | | I have not been married so I do not have an ex husband to complain about, and have no bad feelings or reasons to talk about any ex boyfriend, which to me is a good thing about myself, but men that I have met seem to see it as a red flag. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:35:25 AM | I agree with RobertsLoveQuest - we have to be careful what we say about our exes or people think we are still holding a flame for them.
I have all good things to say about each of my exes, which I left all three for good reasons when it was time to end the relationships.
I am not the type of person to spend a length of time with someone, have good times, share a chunk of my life with them happy - and then dispose of all of that because it wasnt forever.
Dont get me wrong- forever was my intention - but sometimes life changes, people change, situations change - and you cant just sit there in lala land pretending things are the way they were when you fell in love. I cant do that anyway - dont know about anyone else.
So while I do miss some things that we had shared, or certain things they each were good at, I dont harbour ill will and actually feel very blessed to have received the amount of genuine love I have in life.
Very blessed indeed. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:49:32 AM | When someone says that their ex was a terrific person .. that is the exit sign for me.. all other areas of the tango can be worked out .. so anyone that leaves a great person .. you can work on the sizzle or you are a fly by nighter . .. which is most likely someone who can't work past the oxytocin phase.. if you find a good one .. and can't keep them then you are not capable of being in anything worthwhile.. deep is about exploring deeper..
there are deal breakers.. abuse ... of mind and body .. addiction of mind and body... but other than that .. everything else can get better and better .. so anyone that has a great ex is someone that shouldah worked to create the special intimacy that anyone can have.. it ain't rocket science it is learned how you create a great chemical connection that is deeper then when you meet.. most people need to get their noses out of dogma and seek to explore.. what can be great...
guys with past loves that were marvelous.. big red flag for me.. that tells me he hasn't got what it takes to make it great.. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:01:04 AM | | when you can see why you split and have resolved all of the feelings that entangled you in suspended animation until you have your life back.. when you are indifferent but recognize that the relationship was not healthy for you .. then you are ready for the real deal..when you learned what you don't want in your life.. you very clearly know what you do want in your life .... if it isn't moving you into being a better person .. one of true and authentic admiration for the one who chooses you and vice versa.. you are not ready to seek what you cannot find... only emotional presense is capable of investing in the heart and mind of another .. willing energy for a union of love... | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:06:36 AM | Each relationship has taught me a great deal.
I still have a wonderful relationship with all my ex's. I continue to remember the reasons I fell in love with them, the time I spent with them, and how that relationship has helped me to evolve and grow to the woman I am today.
In each instance, there has been a deal breaker, something that could not be fixed.
Sometimes, the holding on makes us stronger, and sometimes it's the letting go. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:10:58 AM | | I would agree that yes there are good things I can say about my ex however like somebody said here unfortunately we do remember BAD things even if that was only one bad thing ... it was a reason to break up so .. it outweighed all good things so to speak. Otherwise we would have not break up .. it is a balance thing nobody is perfect. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:38:14 AM | I don't think it's fair to assume if we don't trash an ex that we're still hung up.
There have been and are many great people in my life, that doesn't mean that I want to be involved with them in a romantic relationship. We all have different likes and dislikes. What may be a great fit for some people may not be so good for others. That doesn't make one person good and the other bad. Otherwise you could draw a line in the sand and move all 'good' people on one side and all 'bad' people on the other and they can all pair up and will live happily ever after.
We're all different, so to judge someone as being an unworthy person, because they couldn't hold on to someone 'great' is completely unfair. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:03:36 AM | Msg62-- K ,Thanks for this post, NOW, I know there is nothing wrong about my sanity lol,,,,,,,,,, reading other threads of how good their exes is a mind boggling to me, I am scared to date and find LTR,for the reason even how hard I tried to be a great lover/woman I can't compete with their exes whom they invest their years and emotions.... The way I understand divorces is irreconcilavable differences between a couple== they grew apart for their* weak* love was not able to sustained them to be terrific to each other,* resulting they can't stand each other in one room with out aggravations, = they hate each other*, this is an observation.. Experienced on exes are young men in my adolecence life , still learning the processed of life so that doesn't count, and as a widow I can not say these guys that I met on a dates are exes because connections with them did not even lifted of the ground.. Really!! If I have a "terrific person" ,I'll keep him come freeze or high water,for the reason that I gave my best years to him. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:09:10 AM | The only thing I will give my ex credit for is having my kids other than that she is in the running for being a B(t)ch because when you have you life on the line in Iraq and get told am I leaeving and then let someone threaten your life with a 12 knife in front of your kids you deserve everything that goes wrong
FYI == I am ex military so I was not worried about him doing nothing to with that knife as I was telling to come on and I would have cut him with his own knife  | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:09:19 AM | At this time I want to thank each and every one of you for some really good responses.
I have read that when there is a break up, we move on in stages. I may have the order wrong or leave one out, but they are the the hurting stage, the pain the whys,, what if's, and all those missing him/her things.
Then the loneliness, next the mad at them, then finally the dislike or hate for them. Contempt etc. And finally the indifference to them.
Not sure I agree with all of these steps. To hate her is to say she had no worth or value in my life.
Even though she dumped me for unknown reasons, or reasons I will never quite understand. What to most of us would be small issues...and I do mean small. Or were they just excuses for her to be free? I'll never know.
I place enough value on her and what we shared, to honor her and respect her. Even the pain I endured, can't make me abandon my thoughts of her as a good person. Just not good for me. I sincerely wish her well.
But I am more then ready to find a more suitable match and fall in love again. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:19:01 AM | Yea! A positive thread! Most of the guys I've dated have been great, actually. Just because we weren't compatible doesn't reflect badly on them (or me).
My most recent ex was a nice guy, who tried hard to do good things for a lot of people. He let friends crash on his couch when they were out of work, he loaned me money I needed to start my Montessori training and didn't even complain that it took me a year to pay him back.
The one before that was a great adventurer, always up for anything. I told him I was going to teach English in Taiwan, and instead of getting upset or ending the relationship, he happily came along to do it too!
The one I had in university tried to act in public like he was all tough, and old fashioned to the point of saying women should be barefoot in the kitchen, but it was all an act - he treated me like a princess.
One of my high school boyfriends was the most adorable, fun, interesting guy I ever met. He truly cared how everyone felt, tried to set things up so everyone was always having a great time. He was a great listener, not just to me, but to everybody.
The other guy I dated in high school was a fantastic musician (guitar player and singer). He's still in a band in our hometown. He treated me like gold, was fun and funny, was very mature and had a great head on his shoulders even at that young age.
So I've been pretty lucky (and/or careful and choosy) and I wouldn't bad mouth any of my ex's. Great guys. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:19:53 AM | | my ex was (is) great with kids...doesn't put up with anyone's crap, has the best smile ever, and was very vocal and passionate in bed. Yeah i dumped him... communication is important to me and at times the communication part just wasn't there. | |
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| Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:33:41 AM | YES, she taught me that I could love another woman with the same depth that I'd loved my wife. For that I owe her my eternal gratitude.
Smellsealsthedeal; Unless I missed something in your profile, you're 49, never had a relationship nor sex with a man, so how is it you can judge others who have? Is it based on academic education?
I'd also question the size of a pond you refer to...perhaps you're just using the wrong bait, or simply don't know which fish is worth keeping. | |
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