| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:04:04 PM | | He likes to pretend to Fantasy rape the girl | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/5/2009 11:39:55 PM | Some people are WAY too concrete in their thinking!!! Lighten up folks! First, reality check, she's discussing this intelligently, in a non-sexual setting, AHEAD OF TIME; Second, she's talking to the man she is currently intimately involved with; Third, it's a FANTASY, which, by definition, means it's NOT REAL!! If she wanted to have consensual sex with him, pretending he’s a cop; would you guys go all freaky about “impersonating an officer”? If she said it turned her on for you to pull her hair, and call her, “A nasty little slut”; would you get all righteous and refuse because it was degrading, and disrespectful? GEEEEEZE sometimes people make me nuts!
OP, this is a very common fantasy, and has been discussed on these forums before; do a thread search, and check some of them out. The trick is to find out which parts of the fantasy are the turn on for her; and what is either not involved, or a turn off. You can do this by simply talking through it, and seeing which parts turn her on; and what potentially turns her off. Things to talk about include "words/names she likes, vs those she dislikes" and the potential for light restraint. With words, find out if there are things she dislikes hearing, or being called. For instance, I had one lover who wanted to play this fantasy, but HATED the term "b1tch". ie, I couldn't say things like, "Admit it; you really like this don't you b1tch." So, instead of "b1tch" I sarcastically used the term "pretty lady"; ie, "I'll bet a 'pretty lady' like you loves to be fuked...don't you?" She loved it! Also, find out what words she likes/dislikes referring to her cooch. Some women love to hear the word cu.nt, where as, for others, it's a total turn off. Also find out if there are words in general she finds distasteful, ie fuk, or G*d d*mn, etc. That way, while you're "in fantasy" you won't inadvertently say something that just completely kills the mood for her. Regarding ANY kind of restraint, the best way to handle it is, whatever method you use, make sure that SHE can, AT ANY TIME, get out on her own. Ie. If you tie her hands to the headboard, use something soft, and either tie them loose enough that she can slip her hands out, OR tie them using a bow, and show her how she can untie herself before you go on. You might even play around with the restraints ahead of time, so she can see, and get used to, how she can get out. If she’s not comfortable with that, you could even simply tie something to the headboard, and have her hold them, pretending to be tied up. Just as an aside, my FAVORITE use of restraints is simply to keep her from touching me. You can restrain her hands; then lick, nibble, and kiss your way from the bottom of her feet to the top of her head, ALL without allowing her to touch you at all. Drives ‘em crazy, LOL.
Also, with ANY scenario like this, you need a safe word. I use "yellow light" and "red light"; with "yellow light" meaning she wants to continue the fantasy, but you need to back down on the intensity a bit; and "red light" means that all bets are off, the fantasy is over, and you both come out of character immediately. I’ve played this, and many other fantasies out, and have, so far, NEVER had to use a safe word; but they are always there, for everyone’s peace of mind, if nothing else.
The keys with this, and ANY fantasy scenario are communication up front, and remembering, that this is all about sexual enjoyment and enhancement, and hopefully, several very strong and fulfilling orgasms. One of the absolute keys to being a great lover, is the ability to earn her trust, thereby allowing her to relax and enjoy whatever it is that you are doing; and playing out scenarios like this one is an absolutely perfect way to commence building that relationship. Another of the keys to being a great lover is to get inside her head, and find out what really turns her on, and doing everything in your power to give that to her in spades; and here again, scenarios like this one are a perfect way to build on that knowledge. It sounds like you may have an open, imaginative, lover on your hands here; with a bit of luck she’ll prove to be as energetic and imaginative pleasing and satisfying you, as you hopefully are with her. Congratulations, and good luck! | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:21:14 AM | Rape fantasies have nothing to do with a desire to be raped - which should be completely obvious. And if a women is sexually assaulted, who happens to also have rape fantasies, THERE IS NO CONNECTION. Please excuse the all caps - very rude.
Here is a quick and easy read on the subject:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brainstorm/200805/why-do-women-have-erotic-rape-fantasies
Basically harmless (there will always be an exception), and I suspect it is somehow related to all of the vampire strangeness that seems to be popular recently.
Rape is a serious crime that destroy people. Rape fantasies are erotica. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:51:11 AM |
Wow you wrote a novel. I panicked!  I have a gift for making a short story long. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:27:47 AM | | You have to be VERY careful with these fantasy/fetish-type scenarios. You have to know your limits, basically. Each person also needs to be aware that pushing it over the limit can be hazardous to one or both parties. | |
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rhodax
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 31 | |
| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:56:27 AM | | Fantasy rape lets the woman experience sexual acts without the guilt of wanting sex. Our culture pounds the idea that sex is dirty into the heads of women starting at a young age. Being (fantasy) raped means whatever happens is not their choice so they don't have to feel the guilt. Guilt + Sex is no fun. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:25:34 PM | | well damn... i always thought i was the only one with this fantasy.. nice to know im not the only one... | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:16:47 AM |
Oh lord- you guys realize he may have met the girl on PoF, or another site, and simply hasn't updated his account here?
Or even....heaven forbid....he's met someone and STILL wants to date other people. YIKES!!
Sexual role-play can be fun, and HOT. OP, your gf's fantasies look like pretty standard fodder to me. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:59:36 AM |
well damn... i always thought i was the only one with this fantasy.. nice to know im not the only one...
Mandershea, you are not alone...you are in a very large crowd. Is is a surprisingly common fantasy. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:14:36 AM |
my girl is into this fantasy rape thing
Gee...so is about 98% of the female population...aren't you the unique one.
It's called transferred accountability (with a smidgen of control, usually in the form of a safe word)...it is that precious opportunity for a girl to do all those kinky, wonderful, scary things without her being "a bad girl"...but they want it with the security that their lover truly loves them...as opposed to real rape done in anger.
Relax...what she's really saying is that she wants you to take control in bed...and sometimes, yes...a lot more control. Last I checked, women didn't like just stroking you for five minutes, blowing you for five minutes and then climbing on top to drain you...they WANT you to take the initiative.
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| Man In Control + Guilt-Free
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:32:48 AM | | Yeah, unfortunately, too many girls & women have been conditioned to think that sex is dirty, they make decisions to "put out", and always looking over their shoulder that guys want "one thing" as if it's horrible for them if they're not in a serious relationship with them. Sex brings guilt to too many people, and so that fantasy lets a woman feel like she's not in control with a guilt-free association + the guy showing he's dominating, all at the same time. I think that's why there are much higher numbers than one would assume of women who like that. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:31:17 AM |
well damn... i always thought i was the only one with this fantasy.. nice to know im not the only one...
The real trick is finding the guy who understands this stuff without you having to babysit him through the explanation and process...
...it's kinda like the difference between opening a great present on Christmas morning to be completely blown away by it versus having your mother explain the whole thing before you open it...I mean, it's still a good gift, but the surprise element contributes immensely to the role playing.
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:09:24 PM | | it`s great if done now and then, like anything else it will get tiresome if she requires it every time. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:10:37 PM | Once im comfortable in a relationship-and i know i can have it anytime any place. i take advantage and get a lil aggressive-fantasy rape-aggressive sex sorta like the same thing. I have walked into the house-not said a thing-walked rite behind my lady, push her up against the wall face first(not to ruff) rip her clothes off-and just stuck it all the way in bottomin out on the first stroke. Red marks on cheeks from hand slaps-hair pulling-cussin and spitting
ya gotta be in tune with ur partner for stuff like that though-and remember foreplay lasts longer then 10 min-it lasts for days | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 5:22:19 PM | I panicked! I have a gift for making a short story long.
Are you part Irish? Verbosity is a national trait!
As for the 'long' story you wrote, it said all the things that I had wanted to say as a submissive woman (NOT A FREAK!) who is turned on by rape fantasies. There are a few different reasons behind the 'fascination'...
- "I" (quotes used in lieu of Bold, Underline AND Italics) am in control of so many aspects of my life - self-employed, independent, and chronically single for example - it feels good to NOT be in control sometimes and sex is the easiest place to relinquish this control...
- Women are virtually 'programmed' to be attracted to dominant and commanding men...
- The fantasised rape is controlled since follows a formula that is acceptable
- There is a feeling of power from the MAN's inablility to restrain himself when he simply 'takes' rather than asks...
- The fantasy allows a woman to indulge in a 'taboo' scenario without guilt...
- Taking control over a past negative experience, like rape, allows a woman to move past it by being a 'willing' participant in an agressive action...
- It is an act of submission for someone who enjoys being controlled by a dominant partner...
- It can be a way of making an insecure peron feel more attractive and in control...
- Fantasy IS NOT reality! What a person THINKS they want and REALLY want can be very different things! That is why safe words are so important....
There are NUMEROUS reasons beyond these that can explain why a woman likes the FANTASY of being raped - I can see personal details in 80% of the reasons that psychologists have identified! So it is not surprising that I enjoy rape fantasies!!! DOES THIS MEAN THAT I WANT OR DESERVE TO BE RAPED?
NO!!! I have been raped before and it is a horrific and terrifying experience! But I am not that person any more. Fortunately (for ME!), I have moved beyond rape victim to someone who enjoys sex! This is NOT something that every rape victim can achieve!
If from 10% to 30% of women are 'freaks' because they fantasise about rape, then I am a freak! But I am what men made me! Personally, I now see a fantasised rape as a way of reclaiming the control and enjoying a physical act that was long
denied to me. If that makes me a freak, so be it! However, I think it means that I have a healthy sexual appetite after dealing with a very distressing past...
Gayle
By the way, when I said NO to my actual rapist, I MEANT IT! I DID NOT WANT WHAT HE ' OFFERED'!!!!!!!!! There is a distinct difference between fantasy and reality That is why it is called FANTASY! | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 5:43:06 PM | This is what brought one of my first adult long terms i had when i was younger
better sex life and it kept us together longer.. Why we broke it off was another.
I introduced the hand that rocked the throat out of more then many reasons.
Anger, Control over her, Self infliction and well, it turned her on a lot!
Few girls get into it. Most it does nothing for them. Honestly, the ones that
love it, cant get enough of it. The choking thing needs to be set and done correct.
My first time i tried this, took many times to get it correct. I did hurt her once.
We didnt have ' Safety words ' But my last long term did.
I had one loved the choking so much, she would take my hand and put it on
her neck while we was just sitting in the car talking.. Im sure her new man
dont do it.. Sucks to be him !  | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:30:21 PM | Given that bodice-rippers are about 45% of the American paperback market, I'd say this is pretty common.
Have a safeword. That's a code word she can say that means "stop immediately." "Uncle" is a favorite safeword. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:29:24 PM | I would just like to say dayummnnnn to "Windloverr's" reply...
Call it what you call it, but the description does sound sexy...sign me up please!! lol
Mr.Windloverr should kindly offer classes to all men who aspire to be better ;-) | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:13:53 PM | | It's interesting to note that the people who apperar to be most disturbed by this post are men. Whereas the women tend to be much more open if not all for the FANTASY. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:24:40 PM | | Probably because a false rape accusation tends to demolish a man's life permanently. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:41:11 PM | Enacting a "rape fantasy" is kind of like running a rollercoaster. Your goal is to safely simulate a scary experience, retaining the excitement and leaving off the terror. I'm never sure though, when women say they're into "rape-sex"(or whatever they call it), whether they just mean particularly rough sex or something more elaborate. If I were a man being asked to "fake-rape" a woman, I'd want to be really, really, really certain of my girlfriend's definition of "fake rape."
On the whole, I think the problem with rape fantasies is that they're awkward to truly share with your boyfriend/husband/man-thing. It's one thing for a woman to say something like, "I get excited thinking about being taken roughly by a stranger in a dark alley," and quite another for a man to say, "I get turned on thinking about roughly f-cking a stranger in a dark alley." The latter statement is a difficult one for a man to make without being taken for a complete creep.
I feel genuinely sorry for most men who are faced with the "I want you to pretend to rape me" request because it places them in an extremely awkward position. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:04:59 PM | wow, I have a preference here. Now I just feel like Ive been psychoanalysed by some of the chatters on this site cos my preference is most definately not 'vanilla'
Eh, Imma freak  | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:26:39 PM | | it's just really a thing about you being the aggressive one. She's probably the one whose usually the aggressive one normally. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:07:00 PM | "The real trick is finding the guy who understands this stuff without you having to babysit him through the explanation and process..."
.........as he sits outside the local sorority house with a ski mask on. Practice makes perfect right???  | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:09:04 PM |
There three types of people who like this form of sex:
1) Subs
2)Victims of sexual abuse
3) Freaks
4) None of the above, just sexually adventurous people who like some role-play.
But perhaps I just haven't had time to read all the rules yet. Lucky for me that HazelRose has that covered! | |
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