| | FANTASY RAPEPage 4 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) | Dave632, we so often are in line on most things.
I dated someone who liked me to just show up in her apartment unannounced before she arrived and suprise her with a Fantasy rape scenario. We did this a couple of times and were done with it. She really dug it; me, not so much. Even with safe words etc. it felt a little too wierd for my tastes. I had another gf who liked sex in public places, Parks at night, cars, unused rooms in the public library, airplanes.. This was fun...till another friend told me that we'd better quit cuz it was potentially quite a severe legal issue if caught..oops! | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 8/3/2009 12:41:15 PM | I have to dig deep to get to the bottom of my well of disgust for the word "rape", but to each his/her own. Right? Right. I can't fathom it, esp since I have a degree in psychology, so I understand where most rape fantasies come from. Since I know women and men who have been raped/sodomized, I just feel filthy at the thought of making it a game.
To Dave632:
Ted Bundy was not just a serial killing rapst, but a necrophile, too. Thank God he was caught in Florida where Old Sparky made Thursday a Fry-day!   | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:27:34 PM | It's not as uncommon as many would believe. Many women simply describe the desire for aggressive primal sex with some form of euphemism.
Rape fantasies have nothing to do with a desire to be raped - which should be completely obvious. And if a women is sexually assaulted, who happens to also have rape fantasies, THERE IS NO CONNECTION. Please excuse the all caps - very rude.
Here is a quick and easy read on the subject:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brainstorm/200805/why-do-women-have-erotic-rape-fantasies
Basically harmless (there will always be an exception), and I suspect it is somehow related to all of the vampire strangeness that seems to be popular recently.
Rape is a serious crime that destroy people. Rape fantasies are erotica.
It's called transferred accountability (with a smidgen of control, usually in the form of a safe word)...it is that precious opportunity for a girl to do all those kinky, wonderful, scary things without her being "a bad girl"...but they want it with the security that their lover truly loves them...as opposed to real rape done in anger.
Relax...what she's really saying is that she wants you to take control in bed...and sometimes, yes...a lot more control. Last I checked, women didn't like just stroking you for five minutes, blowing you for five minutes and then climbing on top to drain you...they WANT you to take the initiative.
Both these posts bear repetition as this is a fantasy that almost exclusively originates with females, and as such, women have enough social pressures on them to be sexual repressed and inhibited. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:33:08 PM |
It's called transferred accountability (with a smidgen of control, usually in the form of a safe word)...it is that precious opportunity for a girl to do all those kinky, wonderful, scary things without her being "a bad girl"...but they want it with the security that their lover truly loves them...as opposed to real rape done in anger.
Relax...what she's really saying is that she wants you to take control in bed...and sometimes, yes...a lot more control. Last I checked, women didn't like just stroking you for five minutes, blowing you for five minutes and then climbing on top to drain you...they WANT you to take the initiative.
and who really is the one in control here ???? Ummm Ya you guessed it...the one that wants the fantasy. | |
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Posted: 8/3/2009 1:41:06 PM | | If you are going to explore S&M please do it right; limits, boundaries, safe words and all. | |
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Posted: 8/28/2009 4:51:13 PM | | to tell you the honest truth, i have rape fantasies because i want to be popular. i want to get raped so i can see my face and story on real-life sections of women's magazine, the local news, and so forth. that is just me and you can call me crazy if you want. | |
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Posted: 8/28/2009 6:25:45 PM | Ted Bundy was a sick man who was angry for being rejected by his first girlfriend and being lied to by women in his life. Mentally he broke down and raped women as a form of revenge.
The word "rape" does not conjure up warm feelings for a lot of women, whether they've been raped or not.
I tend to agree with Erinlove in the comments she makes about having a man in your life who can dominate you sexually if desired. | |
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Posted: 8/28/2009 11:01:32 PM | I agree that for most women with this fantasy, it's not about the rape, it's about giving up control, and being dominated.
Some just don't make the connection.
For myself...
There is nothing sexy about rape...
I'd say there's something rather steamy about taking a girl through force though. BIG difference from simply forcing a girl to do what she doesn't want to do. | |
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Posted: 9/29/2009 10:45:36 PM | | One of my wives was really into this. Would even pick up cheap clothes that could be torn off easily without costing a fortune. If they like it and you don't mind, what's the harm? | |
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Posted: 10/3/2009 5:17:54 PM | | I know a few women that's into this kind of fantasy. Oh yeah, and they so love it,lol | |
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Posted: 10/5/2009 5:26:44 PM | Last time I helped with a rape fantasy I had a broken nose and a cracked rib
Moral of the story: Never date a black belt | |
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Posted: 10/5/2009 7:07:40 PM | The key with this is the first word: FANTASY - not the second word, RAPE. Fantasies are carried out with love and care, while real rapes happen because of anger and hate. That ought to be obvious to those who say "eewwww"...but apparently it's not.
The scene should be discussed beforehand so that the "rapist" knows exactly what the "victim" thinks is hot, vs. what might cause a freak-out. And you don't discuss it while you're nekkid and ready to play - you discuss it beforehand, when you're not already in the sack. Safeword(s) and/or signals (in case the victim is tied up and gagged) must be pre-established, and if the victim really does start to freak out, the whole thing must be stopped right away to comfort the victim. (Note that I am not being gender-specific here, as men may also have rape fantasies.)
There is a huge element of trust involved on BOTH sides. That trust needs to be well-established. If it's not, don't play until it is. | |
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Posted: 10/6/2009 7:29:32 AM | | Whoa what a topic! Thats all i'm guna say | |
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Posted: 10/6/2009 9:35:27 AM | If you do this make sure you have it written and signed that she agreed to this.
Lay out basic ground rules along with a safe word. Pick something strange for the word and list it in the agreement...along with duration and place, time limit and toys if any.
...just sayin | |
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Posted: 10/6/2009 9:37:50 AM | "Ted Bundy was not just a serial killing rapst, but a necrophile, too. Thank God he was caught in Florida where Old Sparky made Thursday a Fry-day!"
...thank you. Im happy to say he was caught here downtown, not far from the place where he strung up the lil girl to the tree. AND Id like to say Im very proud of our fine law enforcement and their uncanny ability to pick out odd behaviours. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 10/6/2009 2:27:58 PM | | I agree with love treason on this. | |
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| RAPE IS NOT FANTASY
Posted: 10/6/2009 7:05:03 PM |
...but the bulk of this thread seems a promotion of rape as "not a big deal" mentality just doesnt wash.
FFS, where are you getting that idea? No one has portrayed real rape as "not a big deal" in this thread. We are talking about the fantasy version. If you want a better term for it, then why don't you come up with one that we can all use? | |
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Posted: 10/6/2009 7:33:27 PM | sounds like fun! I'd try anything as long as nobody gets hurt  I like her already... | |
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| another name...
Posted: 10/6/2009 7:37:19 PM | another name would be controlled rape
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Controlled%20Rape&defid=4140240 | |
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| RAPE IS NOT FANTASY
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:33:51 AM | as a man Im hesitant to a scenario like that.
my most recent ex and me played games like that... but there was complete trust.
I could never do it with someone I don't really know.
there would always be this thing in the back of my head, she'd actually go to the cops. | |
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Posted: 10/7/2009 9:57:03 AM | DONT DO IT
I don't care if you've known here a 1000 years, Dont do it. I cannot help but wonder how many guys are in prison because someone had a fantasy like that, lived it, then yelled rape. Walk a wide circle around anyone like that. How many women have I had that had that fantasy? ZERO | |
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Posted: 10/7/2009 2:28:10 PM | | My simple male mind really can't comprehend this. We're told it's the most horrible crime imaginable, yet there are women that fantasize about this scenario on a regular basis and want their husbands and boyfriends to simulate it for them. I don't understand it. Most people don't fantasize about being robbed, beaten, murdered, or blackmailed, so why fantasize about being raped? The argument about being in control of your "victimization" doesn't make any sense. And why should men indulge women who want to act out these scenarios when we're accused by feminists of promoting a culture of rape and when it's so easy for a woman to send a man to prison with a false claim of sexual assault? | |
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Posted: 10/7/2009 2:46:02 PM | I have 0 experience with fantasy rape. Though I have another fantasy that gets the same hateful comments (Ironically some of the pro-fantasy posters here were the ones making them!)
I will say this until I am blue in the face, or fingers? It is PERSONAL PREFERENCE! Why can't people get that through their thick skulls? Why must they try to change my preference to theirs? Why, when I don't change, am I insulted?
Those are all rhetorical questions, the I is meant to be you (the reader). Everyone can apply that sentence to them, or they are not human. Whether the preference is fantasy-rape, diapers, or vanilla ice cream, it is PERSONAL. That means it is yours, and yours alone. Others will have the same preferences, but to try to change ones who do not is wrong (IMO).
So, pretend to rape all you want! Eat as much ice cream as you want! Just don't try to tell me I have to pretend to be raped, or that I have to have vanilla, because that is against my...wait for it...
PERSONAL PREFERENCE
(Feel free to prove me wrong, since you made your claims first (that it is bad/wrong) we are going to need some evidence to support said claims. Till then it is just an opinion.) | |
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Posted: 10/7/2009 2:57:51 PM |
I mean it's rape!! just can't get past it why would you want to fantasize about something so sick
Dude! It's fantasy and for some, a way for them to step out of their normally regimented lifes and have that control taken away from them. This isn't the type that involves some smelly, nasty dude in an alley but between two consenting adults who have a trusting relationship.
Coming from the woman's side: she took a huge risk in sharing with you. Talk about it with her, get the scene down as to what she wants done and then set the scene up, consentually. I'm assuming she really likes you and trusts you to share this aspect of her sexuality. Best advice: you two are consenting adults so figure it out together and communicate. Some men are afraid that if they enjoy the struggle and the role that something is wrong with them. Others might be afraid of unleashing that side of themselves. Take it one step at a time and good luck. | |
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| FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:54:22 PM | I had one like that years ago and I got to tell you it was fun at first but then I started to feel very violated  | |
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