| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:52:28 AM | | Confidence is very attractive. It means someone is comfortable with themselves, which means that I'm more likely to be, too :-) | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:15:39 AM | It is called Aspergers Syndrome, and all men who are shy and who might have a bit of trouble communicating with women probably do not have this type of high functioning Autism.
I have found that if a man is attracted to me he finds my self confidence appealing. If he is not attracted to me some men have asked me why I have good self esteem, as they see me as an average looking fat teacher and what do I have to be confident about? | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:22:52 PM | | Confidence is the most attractive quality soneone can have. Insecurities are for the weak.... you need to love yourself and value who you are | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:30:51 PM | | Confidence is a bit of a devil-may-care whether they come/stay/lay/pray attitude. You want to care enough that you open your heart a bit, because obviously they affect you in some way, yet be willing and able to let go if they let go, not always an easy thing to do if you've grown quite attached. I think confidence IN vulnerability is the key. A "not minding that it hurts". Hurting is sometimes preferrable to feeling nothing. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:38:04 PM |
Confidence is the most attractive quality soneone can have. Insecurities are for the weak.... you need to love yourself and value who you are
ifeellucky: For some people, its just not that easy. Many people by the time they reach a certain age, they have been worn down by a lot of life's trials and tribulations. It takes a special person to see through these possible "insecurities" and see what a person is on the inside, not always look at the shell and make and evaluation based on outward appearances or conduct. There are many so-called "confident" people, who "rise" to the occasion, but after talking to them for a while, you realize they have some insecurites they are hiding too. I like to give EVERYONE I meet the benefit of the doubt. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:45:38 PM |
I'd say that someone who has miss-represented him/her self, would be far worse.
Besides, women shoot down confident men everyday! Why? Because she's not attracted to him!
Yeah definately right! Confident can be an advantage but nothing more than that, physical attraction is dominant relationship.   | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:48:35 PM | Confidence is the most attractive quality soneone can have. Insecurities are for the weak.... you need to love yourself and value who you are
I half agree with you. confidence is a good quality, but it doesn't necessary for attraction. and its not important as appearance. So think about it: a confident man but ugly and a good-looking man but lack confident, which one attracted to you more? If you must choose one. | |
|
R2D2_1
|
Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 33 | |
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:47:22 PM | | I've found through life experience that confidence usually equals incompetence both in the workplace and personal life. I initially dismiss confident people and look for honesty and find that often the two qualities seldom co-exist. Give me honesty or take a hike. Confidence is a quality near the end of my "most important" list. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 11:26:11 AM | | I find that confidence is attractive becuase it indicates a person who has the positive experience of being able to create good things in her life ... competence as the above poster said. But real attractiveness also means that she is able to get out of her world and connect with what you are experiencing and feeling ... and vice versa. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 12:20:14 PM |
I have met many successful, educated men who have the social skills of a field mouse.
Lemmee guess...these were just first dates that did not click? If you react that way...perhaps you're just seeing aspects of yourself in him that you do not like....
Don't mistake quiet for shy....and if you're blaming the guy for the date not going well...."HE has social skills of a field mouse" ....that says a lot about your character....
I'm sure women have judged me like this....I'm kinda soft spoken....but give me the right woman in the right circumstances....and she'll see that I'm ANYTHING but shy....
In my experience...the best way to get to know the REAL person is to gradually get to know them in a neutral atmosphere that has NO expectations...for example through work or a regular yoga class.....
In a truely confident person....humility will shine through the brightest.... | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 12:46:45 PM |
Guys who are painfully shy make me nervous, and so I tend to lump them in the friends section.
That doesn't sound very confident to me. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 1:14:11 PM | | I tend to attract shy men more than I attract men who are talkative, and I don't lump a shy man in the friends section unless we find that we are not into each other in a romantic way. | |
|
| |
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 1:34:33 PM | Sure, true confidence is attractive. Duh.
However, there are lots of so-called "confident" people out there who are deluded. Either they are over-confident due to ignorance, lack of experience, or just plain arrogant. It's pretty easy to sort out the idiots from the true confident people. Just find out what they claim to be confident about, and ask them questions to see if they have a legitimate experience or knowledge base. That's what I do when I come across a so-called self-proclaimed "confident" person or a person who exudes confidence. I've got a pretty good bullshit radar. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 2:43:51 PM | | Now we have to prove that we have real confidence, and what we think of as real confidence cannot be , as we have not experienced what the other person has and we are living a life of delusion? I have a dang good bullshit detector for men who think they are all that and a bag of chips. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 5:04:21 PM | | Confidence is attractive however, arrogance is not and there is somewhat of a fine line between the two. I believe confidence is about loving oneself in a flawed and judgmental world being under some kind of air brushed microscope most of the time. Embracing the attributes in conjunction with these 'imperfections' and learning to accept all there is to oneself creates a more balanced human being. If one does not love themselves, then who will ? I am a very confident person, and I believe it is due to the fact I am very outgoing and enjoy people and having fun. With my confidence I am also very humble in acceptance of various compliments be it on my aesthetics, my work, my art, or my humor. Even when I fail at things, or do not look my best I still manage to hold my head up and keep my shoulders back and walk like I have purpose. I know my worth is not in the superficial or successes, it is whom I am INSIDE and how I treat others. That is my legacy. I tend to attract somewhat arrogant males who THINK they are confident, and it is a HUGE turn off. The difference is the fact they feel the need to constantly state they are 'confident' or blither on about how many women they have had in gory detail, or basically the fact they TRUELY believe their $HIT does NOT stink. The worst form of arrogance being mistaken for confidence is someone who has to put another person down or make someone feel bad to uplift THEM. THAT is the behavior I detest the most and have zero tolerance for. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 6:12:30 PM | | Yes, a GENUINELY confident man is attractive, however, I do think there is such a thing as being TOO self confident or just PROJECTING confidence to cover up insecurities (which in my opinion, is worse than just admitting you have some insecurities) and such a turn off.......I have to agree with the guy that said humility is much more attractive...but then again, I happen to think a GENUINELY confident man..can be humble....and I also think a man can be a "little" shy and be confident. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 6:24:51 PM | | In all honesty, I have never looked at a man and thought to myself, “OMFG! He’s SOOOO confident!” I guess other traits stand out more to me, (e.g., he’s hilarious, personable, passionate, considerate, affectionate, talented, intelligent…). | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 6:37:09 PM |
I believe confidence is about loving oneself in a flawed and judgmental world being under some kind of air brushed microscope most of the time. Embracing the attributes in conjunction with these 'imperfections' and learning to accept all there is to oneself creates a more balanced human being.
I agree...my confidence comes from the fact that I've spent the last bunch of years powering through my insecurities....it's great to have those doubts surface every once in a while...they remind you that you haven't "arrived" anywhere....
Sometimes we feel so good about ourselves that we almost forget how things once were....there is no finishing point....life is a constant journey.....
Confidence comes from the ability to recognize when your ego is getting the better of you....
Actually most of my confidence comes from the fact that I've really connected with people in my life....I know about what's possible with the right woman....anyone who PROJECTS a lot of confidence...possibly arrogance....probably doesn't have a clue how to really connect with someone..... | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 7:52:50 PM | | I think most of us are capable of "sucking it up" and being confident where and when we have to. However, I think we all hopefully have feelings too. Sometimes I can get sentimental and melancholy when I think of times gone by and people who are not with us anymore. I would hope that the person I am with doesn't judge me on my sentimentality and consider it a weekness. Also, I believe lots of people consider kindness as weakness. I would trade kindness any day of the week for confidence. Thats what I live by and thats what I look for in others. When a person is both confident as well as kind, then that to me is a special person and what I strive to be. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 7:58:39 PM | | Confidence isn’t a bad thing so long as it isn’t taken to the point of arrogance. I’ve always believed that confidence is more than simply having faith in your abilities – I believe it’s also recognizing those things you cannot accomplish, do or know. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:10:44 PM | | I think confidence also comes into play in certain occupations. For example, I want my doctor, dentist, attourney, or other professional to be confident. I most definitely want to know that my airplane pilot is CONFIDENT! I want to be confident it them too! But to me, when it comes to personal relationships, I would choose someone who shows kindness over someone who shows confidence. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:15:20 PM | Blah.... confident pilots... you should fly with me... I'm not even confident I can get the plane off the ground... let alone land 
I'm kidding!
I see your point though... I agree that certain occupations do require more confidence than others.
As far as relationships - makes me think for a moment - if given the choice between her being confident or kind... hmmm... need to think about that for a moment. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:20:21 PM |
I believe confidence is about loving oneself in a flawed and judgmental world being under some kind of air brushed microscope most of the time
You realize, of course, all those magazines are written by women and gay men, right?
You put that standard on yourselves.
Guys just ask you don't be fat. You womenfolk place the anorexic standard on yourselves. Not us. "ew don't look at my one little tiny belly roll that absolutely everyone has when they sit down!!"
I believe confidence is when you are able to meet standards and be capable of accomplishing things. People usually aren't confident, justifiably, in new situations. In situations they've been in any number of times, they are confident because they know what to expect and how to handle it. The moral is to get good at things and expose yourself to many experiences. I can't believe the number of things i was nervous about that aren't even worth a thought anymore and i do them daily. Just willing yourself to being confident without accomplishment is a fool's errand of pulling the wool over your own eyes and accepting mediocrity as an okay thing. "just love yourself." Sure, i guess, but i'll love me and respect myself more tomorrow when i've become better than today.
If you are confident despite ability, then you're just a poor judge of your own abilities. There's even studies on this phenomenon and why people are such bad judges. If i'm confident alligator wrestling, then i'm just a moron because i have no skill in this at all. | |
|
| Confidence attracts..................
Posted: 7/22/2009 11:56:24 PM | Hi,
You're absolutely right, confidence seems to be very attractive to women. I just posted a thread a bit about this though because I've also found arrogance and disdain works too but I'd very much rather it didn't.
It seems to be very different between men and women, though. A very confident woman might have real troubles whereas a man would not at all.
I'm overweight mostly in a wheelchair but very assertive. I have no trouble at all getting dates. I have friends that women in looking at them find very attractive (as a man I can't tell at all) but when they meet their shyness or what seems to be far worse, doing whatever a woman asks if they like the woman and showing they care by too much contact (not my opinion, it seems to be the women's though) they are very unsuccessful in dating.
Since my friends are nice guys and would probably make terrific partners, the fact that they are shy or display that they care, really shouldn't make a difference to the right woman but it seems that it does.
Confidence is greatly over rated if you ask me though. It often comes with arrogance in the extreme and someone very successful in dating, I would suggest, tends to make a lousy partner in a relationship, man or woman.
Richard | |
|
Home
login 
