| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:10:00 AM | I get the feeling that some are to shy to clarify their goals...either with your intimate needs or perhaps general sexuality.
do not make this decision untill you are in the quick of the energy...you can not prepare decisions before you really have all of the facts.
that is like saying i will never work again...well i never will say that cuz i hope for better things and in my mind (paid work not volunteer) so i can not say i would never do something cuz i don't know unless i have givin the new idea some exposure....
example: 20 years ago you could not find a more straight laced human....a few slides in the mud and a few mildstones and the view now is...not sure must look and than i might make a decision...
is like everything i thought before self discovery is completely different in context and is a whole new world to discover all over again cuz the context or base view in self has changed...goodluck to folks figurin the numbers in head and trying to come up with the best conclusion for your own personal discovery and growth...no decisions are wrong...they are exploration of your world...gold star for at least seeking to re ignite your life...not one human left behind!!!
just like a race everyone who participates is a winner..that is what lifes design is for all..doesn't matter if you made error cuz that is how humans evolve and learn. | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:39:03 AM |
You ever wonder how match makers work? They want to know your must haves as well as any things you consider not negotiable.
I'm not using a matchmaker, nor would I choose to.
As for must-haves, non-negotiables: I think this is what the dating process is for. To get to know each other and discover commonalities as well as differences.
I'm not in such a hurry that I need a run down so I can determine long-term potential. Too many factors are present when coming together and the two involved tend to customize their needs and wants with each other... that may be different than what you've experienced before.
...so I cannot say i would never do something cuz i don't know unless i have givin the new idea some exposure....
Exactly. To predetermine your future seems limiting your potential (to me) | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:12:05 PM |
It could be as simple as I would like you to call me once a day and see you at least once a week.. This way we stay in daily contact with one another..
That sort of thing is not a "need," that is a preference. And you don't have to "confess" preferences -- you just share them. | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:20:06 PM | Hmmmmm my needs
I need a couple of millions dollars
other than that, we can work out the difference | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 7/8/2009 4:45:12 AM | itsnot2late said:Hmmmmm my needs
I need a couple of millions dollars
other than that, we can work out the difference
Well like you handle says its not 2 late ? You know you are sitting on a gold mine so get up and get out there and go get it.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 7/8/2009 9:32:14 AM | .
How many dates? None. I put it in my profile. Why waste his time, and mine?
I'm not coy, or shy. I want what I want, and expect him to tell me what he wants. There are plenty of other things to wonder about. Get a good mystery novel, or comtemplate the stars. But for here? Nah. What would be the point?
 
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:50:56 AM |
Confessing my needs
Gosh, I don't worry over what to say and when to say and how to say.
I just be me.
Conversation flows however conversation flows.
Pre-thinking conversations is way too much work. Agree. Just get to know someone. If he isn't someone with whom I am compatible and not someone with a similar lifestyle and similar goals, I realize that in the natural progression of getting to know him. | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 9/30/2009 10:01:03 AM |
How many dates do you think you should have with someone before you confess your needs to them. To me this is not done on first date, not even a second date but perhaps by the third date this should happen..
Otherwise you might continue in a limbo mode for sometime not knowing if this person can satisfy your needs or not..
That really really depends upon the nature of your needs. I had a man last week confess that he needed to wear garters, corsets and panty hose and have a woman "find" him (his word) wearing them and chastise him for being "naughty." Those kinds of needs really should be disclosed immediately so as not to waste too much time as I myself have a strong need not to discover my partner wearing my undies. | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 9/30/2009 11:09:08 AM | Geezzz, I really don't know how to answer this question. I can take care of my own needs. Now the wants..........no, can't. But "you can't always get what you want" (song forgot the singer). Expectations: well, I think by 3rd date, at least for me, cuz I wouldn't be on the 3rd date, if there wasn't sumpin, sumpin for me. I fact, I' ve never been on a 3rd date from online dating. Hmmmmmmmm (maybe something wrong with me, uh?)
But, I don't mind telling anyone my expectations right now; even before we have a date. Now, if we're talking sexual expectations or wants, that would have to come just before we hit the sack!.
outdoorgirl | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 9/30/2009 2:41:49 PM | Confess my needs?! To a date?! Holy crap! How'd I miss this one?! 
Uhm... what kinda needs? Do you mean like "I need for you to spank me" or more like "I need someone to fix my plumbing"? (ON MY HOUSE! Don't go there, people! LOL) Well, either way, the answer is no time soon... unless I can get him to fix my plumbing by reciprocating with a spanking. MUWAHAHAHA!
Okay... seriously... eventually I'm gonna admit that I need a man on some level(s) but my pride and determination to do things myself or pay to have done what I can't do myself will not allow it to be anytime within what I would call the 'dating phase.' | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 9/30/2009 2:47:57 PM |
How many dates do you think you should have with someone before you confess your needs to them. To me this is not done on first date, not even a second date but perhaps by the third date this should happen..
Otherwise you might continue in a limbo mode for sometime not knowing if this person can satisfy your needs or not..
My needs are expressed when I have my profile filled in with my original topics instead of what I have in there now,,,
I would've believed that time wouldn't be wasted by people contacting me that could read but it still happens so, I'm having to believe there can't be a set number of dates to express it either.
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 9/30/2009 2:48:33 PM |
"you can't always get what you want" (song forgot the singer)
Rolling Stones!
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:24:56 AM | I need to TAKE the right man for $500,000. He should be have at least one of those platinum or gold credit cards, a large bank account, multiple homes and cars, and be terminally ill with one foot in the grave. Any takers?  | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:38:28 AM | | We are all terminally ill with one foot in the grave. Its called being alive. The amazing part is the so few people take account of that in their day to day actions. | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:59:53 AM | I'm not too concerned about the terminology used here. Needs, wants, expectations, hopes, dreams, likes, dislikes, confessing, sharing, discussing -- could fill this space with thesaurus items.
I think these things will come naturally during conversation and spending time together. However, I also don't see why the third date would be any less likely for some of the deeper things to be brought up than any other date. | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:54:06 AM | | Confessing your needs? Here is how I handle the situation. If by the third date it appears nothing more will happen in the relationship, confess your need to do something so strange it will scare the person off, i.e. you like to take baths with large tropical fish swimming around with you in the tub and expect them to do the same. This saves you the trouble of writing them a dear John e mail. If on the other hand you like the other person, then by all mean confess your needs. Tell the up front you need their money, their car from time to time, their credit cards and of course their pin number for the ATM card. Confess to them you need them to be tolerant of the genital infections you get time to time and that all three of your children have different fathers. Confessing to your significant other in the beginning makes life so much simpler in the long run. | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 10/1/2009 6:44:37 PM | OP, you seem to have a structured mind. If you find a man who seems equally as structured and scheduled, then I'd go with divulging your needs early in the relationship -- maybe the second date. You'll waste less time and be able to move on to another candidate.
But more than half the world is less structured in their thinking about love. Needs and desires should unfold naturally as the friendship/love progresses. Not all at one time. And brought out for maximum impact at the right time.
I used to kid a friend who would want to discuss needs, wants, and goals with a date all at one sitting, and I told him she probably felt he was 'taking inventory'.
I'm not a stockboy, and if I was, inventory would be the least interesting part of the job.
Different strokes...
This thread just begs, no SCREAMS -- what are your needs? We all want to know! | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:56:59 PM |
This thread just begs, no SCREAMS -- what are your needs? We all want to know!
...No you don't
As one poster said, let conversation flow naturally. These things will come out id due course, providing it lasts that long. It takes me a while to open up to someone...I tend to be very cautious until I feel comfortable enough to discuss or share certain aspects of my life.
...maeflowers | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 10/1/2009 8:11:15 PM | until I feel comfortable
look into my eyes your getting very relaxed very very relaxed. | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 10/1/2009 8:34:53 PM |
look into my eyes your getting very relaxed very very relaxed.
...You again. Are you stalking me by chance ?
I must confess right now that it's been a long, long time since I've had anything to confess to.
...maeflowers | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:02:45 PM | geez...
confessing your needs?
sounds more like a religious experience to me.
i'd run like crazy or break out and laugh if someone got that d&m with me after a couple of dates...
what a great way to scare the hell out of a new aquaintance.
although it could save a whole lot of meaningless correspondence... | |
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| Confessing Your Needs
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:48:30 PM | Most all of you are missing THE point. There are those POFs on this here thread sage beyond years whom mightily can help you with your every need. Fess up your darkest needs, and relationship nervana can be yours.
Signed,
The Management | |
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