| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:28:03 AM | If you find out early on that someone isn't interested who you've never met in person count your blessings - don't complain about how it happened. Just be grateful you didn't waste more time finding that out and move on.
It's always good to meet someone once briefly before spending a huge amount of time with them, as attraction will determine all else.
In fact, my friends and I have talked many times about the fact that we wish we could be invisible, or there was a way to see some of these guys in person without having to talk to them or meet them to decide a yes or no...I'm sure a lot of men wouldn't oppose this either. We'd never do it, but I've heard stories of people who have set that up.
I don't think most people who get stood up REALLY get stood up - the person more likely just sees them and doesn't stay. Or they are across the street in a coffee shop or in a back booth watching. I've heard it all. | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:46:03 AM | I never go anywhere without my OWN: cell phone, motor vehicle, cash sufficient to pay for BOTH our meals....because I don't trust most men who don't feel "there is any chemisry" to do the right thing.
I'm sorry this happened to you; better than having a man "snap" and throw a drink in your face (it happened to me -- thank God it wasn't hot coffee). | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:59:08 PM |
hasn't this been discussed to death already?? i think i see the same post every week.
I don't see there is something that needs to be discussed. It's simple that the guy didn't want to see OP any more. He was gone without saying bye-bye, which meant he couldn't suffer to do so. He sure knew OP would blame his rudeness, but he never cared about it. I was wondering why OP couldn't find out his dislike and has had a meal with him.
well good thing he paid for the check.
Is having a "free lunch" so important? | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:09:20 PM | I have no idea what makes a person do that. I know I have a hard time telling someone I am not interested especially when they are otherwise very nice. I can coward out myself and leave a email instead of telling them to their face. It depends on the man and the situation though.
I have yet to up and leave the date without a goodbye though. I might do that if they were totally rude and crass. Other than that no....
It is one reason why I don't like meeting for a meal on a first meet though. I would rather meet someone on neutral ground for a short time just in case.
I have had a guy stand me up before. Once.. we are on speaking terms now and he since apologized, the problem lie in a off/on relationship. I believe we run into tons of those types here.... | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:39:03 PM | | OP, I'm sorry you had that experience and hope you had the money to cover the tab in case that spineless ass didn't pay it. Damn, you must've been gone awhile because usually it takes a few minutes to get the check and then process a payment. What did he do, throw some cash on the table while you were gone? I've been stood up, but have never had someone bolt on me while on a date. EEK! That's all time low. At least you found out what kind of man he is now rather than later. Too bad you can't out that jerk with his screen name for every woman to know so she'll never accept a "date" from him. I think that's against the rules. | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:59:36 AM | ^^^^^ No, it wouldn't have been funny. The guy was already a coward for not being able to stick it out to the end of the date, but to stick her with his share of the meal would've made him a total ass wipe.
*I always compared to pay just 'cuz...but I never think I'll be ditched the moment I turn my back. OP, while you say you were feeling good with how the date was going, maybe there were clues that he wasn't enjoying himself as much as you. | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:06:12 AM | | He was very rude and he was not a gentleman to leave you waiting. You must have felt bad when the waitress told you that he left. This never happened to me. I hope it never does because it it would be really suck! I heard of women leaving men on a date when in a bar but thats because the guy is trying to get her drunk and get her in bed. That is tottally different. | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:35:41 AM | Sounds like a coward to me, he felt the attraction and freaked out and ran like a wuss.
you could try to find out what happend, but if a woman did that to me, i would try to find out once and if she told me and the answer was acceptable, i would give her another chance but in general, i never give a woman a second chance.
People in general tend to walk all over people that give unlimited chances since they will always forgive me, time to do whatever i want.
So, without a reasonable reason, i never give women a second chance, women don't give me a single chance to even screw up, so why should i give them more then one chance. | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/24/2009 1:26:05 PM | | I must confess that I have pulled the houdini. It was not quite the same scenario. I got a call to meet one girl as she was with some friends at a pub. We had been texting and talking on the phone for a week. She seemed real nice. Anyway, after meeting her at the pub it soon became very clear she was extremely superficial. She went to the bar to get a drink and I bolted for the door. She texted me and called asking why I left, but I never communicated with her again. I felt that based on her character she was not worth another second of my life. Of course there are all sorts of better ways to handle a situation like this, but I thought I would just share my experience with you. | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/24/2009 2:55:33 PM | I have done the same thing to a date before but read the whole story before you slam me for it. She was cute and not very nice. Talked for a few minutes before we got to the table. Told me she had zero attraction to me and we might as well just get this over with. We ordered, I went to the bathroom, told the waitress to deliver my meal to the back section of the bar where I would be having a drink , give her the meal she ordered and put it on my tab. Waitress delivers her meal and she realizes I left and says great, now I have to pay for a meal I can't afford. The waitress replies he took care of that before he left because he didn't want to leave you hanging. He figured you would enjoy the meal better by yourself and he decided to get it over with since that is what you wanted.
Before anyone says I am a jerk for doing that I have had quite a few women pull the same stunt with me and leave me with two meals to pay for plus their drinks. At least she got her meal and drinks covered. | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:46:21 PM | | At least he didnt stick you with the bill. Some people do the most cruel and humiliating things to others instead of simply saying thank you for he evening, but due to some differences this relationship isnt going to work out. Two simple lines. But we all know both men and women are guilty of leaving someone high and dry in various ways. So always remember how it felt and make sure you dont put this on any one else, always give someone good reason why something cant continue if you decide to dump. | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/24/2009 11:44:17 PM | Wow, wasn't aware this was going on. You'd think in this day and age people would
be brighter and more sophisticated than to just run off without a word. Jee...zzz
I think the more I look at these threads the more I am deciding to never go on a first date with someone who I don't know. Coffee or soda would do just fine. That assures both parties a quick exit or more later if there is chemistry. | |
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| Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:37:55 AM | Hang on...un momento....waita menit.....this is obviously like the history books...the facts according to the victors (who must have escaped annihilation by virtue of the fact that they were left standing there, while the enemy is kaput...or fled into the dark woods never to be seen again).
What would his version be to his mates?
I went on a date with this hot nurse (on paper) but on getting there, I...........[get creative around this bit]. He must have felt, claustrophobic...out of breath, out of time, ripped off (?), disappointed, jaded, suicidal,...so instead he gave himself the following options:
a) Tell her. Tell her she is not who I expected. Too snooty, wears Red Door, missing front teeth. Is broke and expects me to pay for everything...not that I mind...but she's not planning to put out before getting married, isn't she?
b) Plan my escape. Escape route near the kitchen counter, past the maitre'd, give tip to the waitress to ensure she informs her that I have left, so she's not hanging on forever, twiddling her thumb.....hopefully she's busting to go to the Ladies soon. I know...I'll pump her with water...lot's of it. I'll start ordering some beer to get her to that pissy state. Then I make good of my plan. I'm not gonna be like Clint....my version will be An Early Escape from Alcatraz...[rubs hands] not long to go now...drink up baby...yeah, yeah all the way.
c) Put up some more. Feign interest in the health care system. Talk about family holidays...work...listen to some small talk about life interests, ambition and dreams. Maybe insert some bits about pop culture from the Woodstock era. Talk about the economy. Then never ever ever call her again. Hopefully she'll get the hint [looks at time]. I hope she doesn't ask the age old dating question so, what are you looking for? Well, not you obviously...damn...where's my manners. Did I just say that aloud? Good grief..I hope I wasn't heard. It doesn't hurt to be polite.
Just like those Choose Your Own Adventure books, eh? Option B it is. | |
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