| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:53:45 AM | 1. To not take it soooo seriously. Perhaps, use it as a secondary way of meeting people besides meeting people at social groups, fundraisers, gyms, etc.
2. Forums can be helpful. Some people express themselves very well in writing and everyone comes from a unique background, lifestyle, perspective.
3. Don't be discouraged. Make it fun & interesting. Make changes to your profile. Be playful & creative with emails. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:56:09 AM | I agree with the long walks on the beach statement above! I have also learned that women...
1) like to go out or stay in
2) can be geographically challenged
3) visit the city or the country
4) enjoy both vacation and staying home
5) are comfortable in jeans or a little black dress
6) are looking for a real man, but someone who is not a player
7) feel it is okay to lie about their age or weight on their profile (for search purposes)
8) have an uncanny ability to view the glass as half-full despite facing a multitude of challenges
Come to think of it, I haven't learned much at all. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:27:40 AM | Imagine yourself in a club or bar/restaurant. A super hot woman arrives and positions herself and two friends all the way across where you are. She looks better than the type of women you usually attract, but you think maybe you'll give it a try. So as you start walking towards her, 15 guys beat you to it and now her defenses are up and looking at all the guys with practical disgust.
What I leaned about internet dating is that imagine the above scenario, but now you have a direct line to that girl, if only you knew the exact key to contact her. But realize, that now the line of guys is not 15, but 300.
Some people here have said that you have to be patient. I'd say no way. Do not wait for anybody. If she does not contact you right away, contact someone else, and someone else, and someone else.
Do not send messages that sound like they are mass mailings. They usually fail.
Be different. If you sound like every other moron, you will be rejected.
Do not sell yourself. If you go around telling her or in in your profile how great you are, or give me a chance or any of that blah, blah, you will get rejected. Instead show a piece of your lifestyle, what you like and don't like.
Always end with a question that she absolutely has to respond.
Talk visually.
Do not become pen palls. She wants to meet, you want to meet. Become the guy she wants to meet.
If she gets strange, weird, gives you attitude, simply write her off and don't waist your time even telling her. The same applies to women, do not waste your energy telling him didley. Move on.
Every contact, every email, every time you meet, date, get rejected, go to bed with someone is a learning experience, so even if you get dumped like a sack of rotten potatoes it is a victory because you learned something you didn't know before. The only failure is doing nothing but coming to the forums to whine. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:40:10 AM | There's seems to be quite a difference in the type of woman you find on a dating site, vs one you'd meet in casually, in real life, that wouldn't even consider online dating. At least in my experience, which is why I'll rarely date anyone from online anymore.
The other thing I've noticed online, is a lot of ambivalence, and apathy, probably from being overloaded by the online environment, which doesn't seem to be the case in real life.
You can approach a woman in real life, simply complement her, and end up conversing for quite a while without ever playing "20 questions". You can just enjoy conversing. There's no agenda...
Do not become pen palls. She wants to meet, you want to meet.....
If she gets strange, weird, gives you attitude, simply write her off and don't waist your time even telling her. The same applies to women, do not waste your energy telling him didley. Move on.
Good advice. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:25:42 AM | Hi,
Being single in your mid fifties is different too, but if your smart and pay attention to what guys are saying in their profiles, it's pretty easy to pick out the ones who are honest. First of all, you will see that many, if not most say they are romantic, like to spoil their women and like to do anything their gals like to do. They will cook for you, send you flowers and take you to visit wonderful places and want someone to spend their lives with. That always makes me laugh, then pause to ask myself, "Why, if you are all of those things are you single?" The next paragraph might tell you more. Like, I work alot, but if the right lady comes along, maybe I wouldn't work so much! Yeah, right! Once a workaholic, always a workaholic.
Next, watch out for the statement, I am looking for a woman who has a good job and her own interests. Translation: I want to be with you when it's convenient for me and I might be a bit stingy. This I know is true from past experience.
The guys most ignored are the ones who are straight out with what they are looking for. It might sound like they're jerks, but they're being honest "jerks." Don't count them out.
You really just need to accept the fact that guys are, always have been and always will be sooo different from us and a Harley will always make him feel more like a man than a woman will!
If he's not responding to your e mails, does not call you, or only calls you when it's obvious he has nothing else to do, he really IS just not into you! DO NOT pursue him. He's not worth it! The same goes for women guys! So move on............
As far as bashing anyone for sleeping with someone, it's like this. If both parties agreed, then it was consentual and they did it for themselves not each other. Women you just have to understand that if you have sex with someone, you aren't going to hook him, so don't debase yourself by allowing yourself to think that! If you have done this, learn from it, hold your head up and don't make the mistake again!
Those who know me, also know that my philosophy, while not profound is this: It is what it is! Life is way to short for second guessing yourself and not enjoying all the good things out there.
I''m always here to talk to you. And, by way, I'm not into man bashing. I've spent alot of time listening to and paying attention to them and can still see the forest for the trees! Obviously, I haven't given up on finding my special one yet!
Rock on ladies!
Marilyn | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:31:27 AM | | That is so funny and so true. I just learned recently that average for a woman means size 16 and up. Also have heard horror stories from guys about the women they met, who were NOT the ones in their pictures. No wonder guys don't respect us. They automatically assume we are probably lying, right? | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:58:02 PM | | expect nothing, don't take it too seriously, makes some good friends, enjoy the fun of it... and if the love of your life comes by one day.,,hopefully you will be motivated enough to want to meet him... | |
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5TARR
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Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 39 | |
| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 3:59:19 PM | | some dude on page 1 said that women with alot of people who put them on their favorites are attention seekers...that's a load of crap! I am flattered when someone adds me, but i didn't ask them to...case in point, i didn't ASK them to...don't be such a hater :) | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:36:27 PM | I've learned I'm the most important thing in my life, Its good to be me! :-)
Time to poke Adams rib. Profile decoding for us men:
Romantic beach walks are ok as long as its not too cold or windy and we get back to a pub cos' I'm starving.
You b*stard inviting me to a coffee shop date with all those cakes displayed, don't you know I'm on a diet?
You b*stard inviting me to a pub, trying to get me drunk eh? Should have taken me to a nice coffee shop with lush cakes.
I like travel as long as its not too far and can you buy me a bag of sweets for the trip? Its not some boring historical site is it? Are there shops? Where can we eat? Is it posh? You are not going to be romantic i.e. cheap?
Cuddling on the sofa...with a hot water bottle strapped to my stomach. Pass the chocolate and the tissues please. You must like "Beaches'? it makes me think about my friends, just a cuddle, no grope or I'll hack your hand off. I'm feeling vulnerable you b*astard. I need your company not your c*ck, well not yet.
Romantic country walks. B*astard dog, I should have got a cat. At least it would not sh*t all over the kitchen and slobber.
There’s always something exciting going on, like my friends and...my friends. Did I mention my friends? I have friends and we are a scream, really! Exciting, always doing the same thing on a Saturday night. What a crowd!
I love my family except when we are screaming at each other. You'd damn well better take my side but don't get involved or else we will av' you! My mother is young looking isn't she? and I'm even younger... What! what did you say?
-G. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:00:03 PM | I have learned that I should DATE all of you...because ur all a laugh !!
I've enjoyed reading all the posts in particular the one about those who loving walks on the beach ..yet they live no where near one !! (good one........whoaaaaaaaaaa)
Seriously though: I haven't met 2 many from POF in comparison to the rest of the fishes but I would say
1. Always go with your 6th sense / gut about someone.
2. Most people here are just playing games.
3. I am very good at reading people. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:27:46 PM | Used to be there were morals, manners, upbringing, a modist amount of being realistic about dating and relationships.
NOW - all bets are off.... Anything goes. Selfish, self-centered, self-serving,..... 'all about them' types of people.
God, how the truth hurts.
I've learned you have a much better chance IRL dating than internet dating. LOL.
I've learned how shallow and mean men are. I haven't encountered this IRL as much as I have here.
@Tracyannk: Oh that's probably because you skip over all the decent guys and go for the shallow and mean ones or you simply attract shallow and mean guys, that's all that is.
-Nate | |
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R2D2_1
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Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 44 | |
| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:33:03 PM | 1) I've discovered that I have a whole lot more to learn.
2) That this pond is a whole lot bigger than I imagined.
3) That I'm back in my freshman year of college learning how to swim all over again.
4) That there's sharks in these waters.
5) That maybe I need to get a dog to keep me company. | |
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| I've learned....
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:59:56 PM | 1) That the same skills that serve me well IRL serve me well here. That is hard as many seem to find this, I find it easy / productive / whatever. I've met plenty of people, have dated several, been in relationships with a few, all in the space of three years.
2) That the same rules I apply IRL serve me well here. That despite all the angst about it, it works perfectly fine to expect physical intimacy within a certain time frame...and I've only had to apply the "rules" twice.
3) If someone doesn't have a pic, there is a reason. That if someone doesn't have a body shot there is a reason. I have never...ever....been pleasantly surprised by what someone looked like if I didn't already know what to expect. Never. I now know better...no pic...no chat. No body shot...no date. Ever again. Ever. | |
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| I've learned....
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:22:21 PM | | I have learned that none of the ladies I have e-mailed participate in forums. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:44:03 AM | 1. Women translate "Hey, you want to hang out" into "Come over so we can have sex"
2. Women have no backbones
3. Women feel entitled to have most ideal guy regardless of whether that guy feels she is worth HIS time or not.
4. When a guy screams for something to deal with equality, he has a personal problem, but if a gal does it, then it's something that needs to be addressed. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:57:21 AM | | That females are way too ****in' picky for their own good,and would rather be alone for years waiting for mr perfect to come along instead of giving someone they might have some luck with a chance. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:39:38 AM | I haven't started dating yet, but what I'm learning from these forums has been very edifying.
1. Young girls really are dumber than a bag of rocks. I missed this in my own youth, hormones made me blind I suppose.
2. Young guys are at least as mature as their counterparts of the opposite sex. One myth down the tubes.
3. The women in my peer group (40's and early 50's) are a mixed lot. You can tell the ones that were stupid in their youth, they're very angry at men and the world in general now. Very angry. The smart ones are aging very nicely. I can't wait to start dating again so I can get to know some of these!
4. My peers. The stupid ones are still stupid, but for the most part in a goofy, teddy bear kind of way. You rarely see the anger that the women have. The ones that were whining the "nice guy" tune in their younger days haven't missed a beat and are still whining. I admire their stamina, but wish they'd STFU already, it's not a good look for a man. And the good ones, they need a large stick, because they're in demand now! | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/8/2009 4:39:03 AM | | To get a few good e mails then meet. To NOT give out a phone number/E Mail until you meet and know you want this person calling or texting or e mailing you. Get to know people and thier habits before you 100% trust them (should do this even with meeting people off line). Know what things are important to you and make sure the person is on the same, or close to the same level as you. These are just a few things. I could go on and on...the saddest thing I have learned for me personally, is the men I HAVE met, have just not been honest or truthful. Built a whole profile that was 90% NOT who they are. I supppose that is typical and easy to do. The GOOD thing I have learned on here is I have made some excellent friends. Too bad they are all in other states or countries. :) | |
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