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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:05:25 AM |
giroditalia-You had better start reining it in and exercising some restraint. For unless a public apology is forthcoming, you are likely to find yourselves as defendants in a libel and slander proceeding. There is a record here. I am advising you both to desist in these public attacks.
Perhaps you can favorite me so I can give you a testimonial right on your profile.
ASS | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:30:39 AM | I have learned no lessons from online dating. It is what it is, and other than meeting a few new faces, everything I experienced was nothing eye-opening.
I have learned lessons in other ways ... but that's a whole different topic. :)
enjoy your day all! | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/10/2009 11:06:03 AM | giroditalia, I'd like to offer an apology to you based on your response to my posts on this thread that have upset you beyond what might be expected of a normal individual.
I'm sorry that you are unfit to post in an online community and please leave your shotgun and other weapons at home when you go shopping at the local mall.
Regards
-idoc_steve | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/10/2009 11:18:36 AM | I've learned you haven't heard anything until you've seen a poster actually
suggest someone might be a defendant in a libel suit.
I've learned that people my age will actually eliminate me from their search
simply because I'm the same age as they are.
I've learned I need to know my BMI to become a more proactive dater.
I've learned that for my age I'm actually pretty okei looking...but that doesn't
mean ugly guys my age won't still shoot me down.
I've learned that I'm as smart as I always thought I was...and usually smarter
than the people I meet.
I've learned not to take this place seriously at all.
This thread is seriously one of the funniest I've read in a while!
and PS...I don't want anyone not meeting my criteria specifically spelled out
on my profile to even look at it! And I can tell if you do!
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/10/2009 12:04:38 PM | I've learned that online dating is very very much like a job search; a two sided one at that, which isn't necesarrily a bad thing. Supposedly we're all out here in cyberspace looking for the same thing, but in reality not everybody is. Consider my comparisons:
Long Term = Career (the ultimate)
Dating Only = Part-Time (could be OK depending on the person)
Intimate Encounters = Temp at best (some people hope)
Goldiggers/Gigolos = Unemployment Claims (probably paid)
Profile = Resume (different versions/information on different sites)
Emails = Cover letters (could be a few could be a lot)
Phone call = Phone interview (could be several)
Meet & Greet = Interview (could be countless)
Break-up = Voluntary Quit/Termination (depending on your position)
Anyway, this came to mind several months ago and I just figured I would give my two cents worth. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:51:04 PM | Giroditalia says:
Just had no idea meeting a compatible woman in an older age range was going to be such a harrowing and unproductive experience.
Get used to online dating! It's a world unto itself. You also might want to grow some thicker skin if you're going to expose so much of yourself "out here". You put a lot of potentially offensive comments in your post. That is an open door for lurking trolls.
FYI: Be careful how intensely you react to the ones who are looking for you to get your panties in a wad. The more angry you get, the more fun they have...  | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/10/2009 4:20:20 PM | I've learned…
* that the online format reveals some very capable salesmen. They are capable of spinning vast and intricate yarns for their brand’s sake.
* that women’s intuition is not a figment of your imagination
* that I will need to be patient to find the man God intended for me.
* that online sites are great for friendship, less so for finding a romantic interest.
Online can be fun, and I can’t say its caused me to meet the “right guy” any more than IRL has. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/10/2009 4:30:26 PM | | If I've learned anything it's not to take any of it too seriously, just relax and enjoy it. Not to have expectations about what may or is supposed to happen and when, oh wait, I was like that before. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:08:14 AM | Msg1: I learned to take my own car and meet him in what ever place we decided to meet . I have my own money just in case he'd run after eating or he forgot his wallet at home. You are meeting a stranger,and you don't know what their purpose is, what kind of mentality they have, so you must be cautious. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:02:59 AM | Hmmm. I've learned that with a photo, men will contact you in droves and most don't read profiles. I have this with no photo and get very few emails, but the ones I get all are readers of my information. I like that.
I also learned that a lot of men do not take rejection well. It's hard if you don't send a no thank you and hard if you DO. You see posts on being polite and when you do send a sorry we're not a match, you can get some pretty insanely snotty responses that turn into rants (dodged bullets on quite a few men that way) or they will send you questions like 'why not?'. I have a friend who got a response back (after he was originally NICE) with something like 'Oh, ANOTHER woman with a crystal ball that can tell she's not my match clearly by just my picture and profile...' and ranted on and on. What's the point in replying to ALL email if you get backlash?
I learned that I have neighbors, friends of friends, co-workers, and on and so on that are about 10 years younger online. LOL
I learned that every man says he is good looking. I learned not many at all will classify themselves as extra pounds or heavy. They all also say the color hair they have, even if it's ONE lone strand wrapped around and he dyes it.
I learned MOST people are NICE. Then you have the ones that just make you lose your faith in humanity. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:23:09 AM | OP I have learned there is a huge pool of unemployed men on here looking to find a woman with a house/apartment with an empty toothbrush holder just ready for their Oral B.
I have learned that men living in the "basement of their X's/parents house need to find something as quickly as possible and are looking for their temporary next living arrangement.
I have learned that men will not spring for a coffee, then like to lean over to look in my wallet to see if I have cash, credit cards and seem very keen to know who much I have saved up for my retirement.
I have learned that men will wear any old shit to meet you, roll out of their fender slapping car, sandals with socks to hide their blue feet, dragg their fat asses up to you and expect some sugar, cause they think they are gods gift to women.
I have learned that most men lie about their age, like it is insignificant, and call you shallow when you won't date them because of that little 10 year lie.
I have learned that the men on POF still whine because they never did anything wrong, they were such nice guys.
I have learned that men have the inability to look in the mirror and see themselves as they are, and still think those women are going to love their Brad Pitt looks.
I have learned that most men on line are delusional, dysfunctional, and live in denial.
OMO  | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/11/2009 10:15:15 AM | OP, in terms of online dating, I have learned to view the fora for entertainment value only, and not as representative of the real world of dating. Occasionally, there are comments that spark introspection, but there is an overrepresentation in the fora of the bitter, angry, issue laden, and strange viewpoints. Women I have met from online, are generally normal, positive, and open to the possibilities.
If a man from another galaxy were to land here, and read some of the bashing of the opposite sex, and peculiar "dating styles", and took that as reflective of dating and relationships in the 21st century, he's wonder how the human race continues to exist.  | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/11/2009 10:20:36 AM | Post # 89 is one of the funniest things I've read on this site.
I'm not sure what I learned FROM online dating that I hadn't already learned from live dating. It's really very similar, except for...
what I've learned ABOUT online dating ::::: more people, than you might expect, are playing games with never an intent to meet anybody. More people, than you might expect, even with all the news stories and warnings, are predators of one kind or another.
Please don't be scared, but oh please do be careful.
Sorry that you got banged up. Human decency is still alive and well, I promise. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/11/2009 10:40:19 AM |
TheReason says: What I have learned from this site, is that the male population here can basically be broken down as follows.
50% perverts
45% morons
5% normal
I checked your profile, expecting to see "Man looking for man" but it doesn't say that. Is that a mistake?
Because I would think you'd be more interested (and familiar with) the women on this board- not the guys. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/11/2009 4:01:32 PM | Sorry to dash your hopes.
Hah just kidding. I just gathered that information myself. Women are actually surprised, and find it refreshing that one of the first three questions I ask ISN'T "what's your bra size". Actually having a half way interesting and intelligent conversation seems to be something new for most women here.
Who knew. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:32:14 PM | | Like you I have not dated in many years, I have learned that patience is essential... communication and finding the right person takes time. Also listen to intuition and don't settle for less then what makes you happy. Look at everything as an experience and ignore what others say as it doesn't really matter in the long run anyway. Always be yourself and those who don't like it aren't right for you anyway. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:08:56 PM | One thing I have found is the people's opinions in forums (the trends) and the people I hear from directly are very, very different (only came across a couple cynical, "I'm goign to be a harda** because then I won't be pushed around by the entitlement lady"
most people I've come across have been interesting, well spoken, mostly had very good manners, been a lot of fun and have been a blast to talk with and get to know, though I'm just in the getting to know and starting to toe dip stage, so I've talked to people that were all types as friends in the few months I've been here and am just now at the starting to date for real stage.
Anyone who says a person having a lot of favorites means a person is "building " them is cynical; I have never added a single person as a favorite nor have i booted anyone. I don't even get what favorites is there for; I just leave it alone.
Talking to people with the view of making friends initially (and no, friends is not always synomous with sex. In my case, friends means freinds, just people you are getting acquainted with as people first, if that goes well THEN it goes to getting to know them as a man; and final would be getting to know them as a potential dating partner; not going on the road to romance with every person you exchange an email with or phone call with.
Be very very careul to not build a relationship in one's head without having the physical meet first; no matter how good you talk with someone; sometimes people's guards are down on the phone or email and the proximitycan make things very awkward initially when used to the anonimity of the faceless personless medium; stick to safe subjects until after the initial meet happens; it is easier to direct one way or the other rather than to backtrack.
And agreed, there are many awesome people on here. Be careful, be safe, but don't assume a bad result or label people (watch out for chips on shoulders); or you will send off vibes that will get that bad result back.
All the best. It's all good :)
(and most important; be very good about listening to inner radar. It is there for a reason)
edit :
How dare you come on this forum and state publicly that you have read my profile (why mine, to the exclusion of everyone else's?) and that it is "indicative of a dude who is an ass"?
Just who in hell do you think you are, calling me an "ass"? How does your mind wrap itself around a public attack upon a man fourteen years your senior who, prior to your public attack upon him, had done nothing to injure you in any way?
Further, you have the effrontery to offer additional moral support to another female poster on this thread who has also taken it upon herself to gratuitously tear my posting apart, target my profile, and even myself, for an unsolicited and vicarious hatefest?
Um, he I think called you that after you took Gwendolyn to task for her responding to your open ended question on why you were being "passed over" by women. I believe she took your post to be a legitimate question (as it was phrased that way, I took it that way as well) , but apparently from your response to her responding to it; you meant it to be a rhetorical comment on how unfair things are and how the onlyreason it keeps happening to you is because "we have all the options and you guys have none", not her trying to maybe help you improve your odds in future so that you would not be missed, dropped or put off. I truly think she meant well, and your response to her was, well, hostile, vindictive, disrespectful and extremely defensive. I don't think you were fair to her personally, and obviously neither did he.
Maybe instead of shooting first and asking questions after, try and get the good out of it that you can. Or else quit posting on your opinion on women (or rather, your opinion on women's responses to you); because as long as you do it; you will have women comment, and from what I have seen from you in the posts I've seen, you don't like what we women have to say very much)
Peace. :) | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:47:10 PM | well, i don't date, but I have learnin dating forums you find fools who run to the Mods like they are the mommy /daddy here to report things that don't really matter.
Then you have the goofballs who threaten to sue you. What FuzzyWuzzy is going to sue OpieDopey?   | |
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