| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/28/2009 11:20:22 AM | 1. Some have the attention span of a 2 yr old.
2. You have to take things with a grain of salt.
3. The Pond is like the "kid in a candy" syndrome.
4. There are people who are genuine and looking for the same things in life.
5. There are people who have hidden agendas.
6. POF Forums are addictive!!!!
7. Lots of scammers and people who use fake/old pictures.
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/28/2009 11:58:37 AM | | oh this has been a learning experience...first not everybody is genuine...take it slow and be wary...and i do not take it personally when people do not answer back or are rude when i am not interested...yes it has been a learning experience..the positive side...the forums...i like it | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/28/2009 12:38:18 PM |
debbie22222:That a lot of guys seem to say hi come on cam. I find it very annoying.
Consider yourself fortunate that they used the "socially acceptable" spelling of the word "come". | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/28/2009 1:04:40 PM | I've learned that you pretty much get whatever you allow. It's my life and I'm choosy with finding a life-long partner.
It is good to get to know someone slowly over time after you meet them - that's how real relationships work.
I love the sweet talk from a man - but I only pay attention to what he actually DOES. There are romeos who disappear without a word - and there are quiet guys who understand how to woo and win me over.
I've learned that everyone wins if you simply be a kind friend to everyone you come in contact with - even if that person isn't meant to be your partner. (After all, I only need one) | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/28/2009 1:40:58 PM | What people don’t realize is that Internet is a limited media,
you can not read people based on few words (not to mention pictures). People
are not a web page you search and scan in few seconds and know all about.
There are lot of assumption so often we make mistakes. We think we are some great psychologies, and very smart, with all our knowledge and experience but we are not.
Also learned:
-no courtship and romance anymore, it is 10sec interview.
-most people are already in relationship or not looking.
-people who are so annoyed will mispeling actually know only one single language (two in the best case)
-everyone is into …trendy stuff. Person into dancing doesn’t know to dance, outgoing means ex-boyfriend took me camping, love to laughs means I watched lot of Friends, healthy lifestyle means I drink coffee and like to talk about health…
-people into outdoors, all sorts of activities, fitness, many interest… – means: they have absolutely no time for a relationship.
-I don’t understand the rule of the game. Canada is the most promiscuous in the western world, yet almost every girl state not interested for guys looking for sex. Personally know girls who stated that they look for friendship first but kissed on first date and in bed within a week (glad not with me). Some “desperate romantic” and “looking for nice guys” have sex in pickup trucks and one night stands. Don’t get it.
-although long distance relationship no much fun, people who stress distance actually will never go a extra mile for you and the relationship; a relationship is for them a convenient commodity.
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/28/2009 5:47:20 PM | 1. Anything goes
2. Be very cautious
3. Don't get caught up
4. You never know, who or what you are dealing with
5. Most guys are on here for entertainment or to play mind games
6. Don't set yourself up
7. Don't expect anything
8. Online is just as bad as the real world, if not WORSE
9. The forums are better place to be
10. Always remember and remind yourself to be observant of all these
good indicators to watch out for online.
11. Always have a set of standard rules for yourself to use as a guideline | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 9/6/2009 4:52:25 AM | [That females are way too ****in' picky for their own good,and would rather be alone for years waiting for mr perfect to come along instead of giving someone they might have some luck with a chance.]
Let's look at it this way, if I'm already driving a Holden Commodore , why do I want to get an Alfa Romeo ? It cost a lot of time and money, it requires constant maintenance, warranty checks, it needs a lot of warming up in the morning before it starts and Occassionally you have to kick it before it behaves the way you want it to. Why not just drive my old car or else trade it in for another Holden?
It's not about being picky, it's about wanting the same. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 9/6/2009 5:57:59 AM | I think many take datings sites way too seriously.
I've always felt their purpose was to increase the number of people to possibly meet by knowing a little more about them before meeting them. A profile isn't a person, but I've read profiles where I think, "Wow, she looks interesting." I've had women say the same thing about my profile. (Pronoun corrected!) When I find a profile with a couple of pics and 2-3 lines of text, I think it would be better to randomly meet them in a bar, where at least I can see body language and other non-verbal clues.
As someone who is dating in his 50's, I simply don't have the time or resources to date a lot of women. For me an online presence is a good way to exchange information to determine if I want to continue. I appreciate it when a woman lists things she likes or does not like, it saves us both time. And conversely, I don't care how many women read my profile and think is sucks, there are some who like it. I'm willing to limit myself to the latter group.
Still, it's hard to get past the 1st meeting, and really hard to get past the 3rd. But, that's the purpose of dating sites, to meet and learn about someone and decide if you want to continue in person.
Bob | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 9/6/2009 3:26:33 PM | | its just like regular dating, it just gives you a little more control in regards to how your perceived/understood; but there is nothing that happens on here that doesn't happen offline, you just have a little more control ( being more selective, what you show, how you present yourself) | |
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PeatL
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Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 189 | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 9/7/2009 10:26:57 AM | I used to take rejection much more personally. I would be really disappointed when someone would just disappear. But, I'm now more comfortable with the fact that I'm not everyone's cup of tea. When someone disappears, they've either decided to give up on the online dating for a bit, or they reached a point where we won't be a match, or (more likely) they've found someone else they want to pursue. Sometimes still disappointing, but I just keep going, remembering that I also am not into everyone who messages me. Doesn't mean they're not good people, but just not a match is all. :)
I now take for granted that everyone is shopping around, even perhaps after you've met them once. But I also learned not to put up with too much BS - one guy actually scheduled two dates for the same afternoon, and when I showed up to meet him, he told me he was meeting someone else. LOL. I took myself out that night! :P The same guy has contacted me since then, but I'm not going down that road again. :P
I'm still jaded from some experiences. I'm trying to make the conscious choices to try and get out there and trust again. It's not easy, but the more I talk to the guys out there, the better and more confident I hope to be. The most important thing to me is that I can handle being alone, so I don't have to be in a desperate search. :) | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 9/7/2009 10:43:25 AM | | flwrgrl101: Really enjoyed your input, and have to say you nailed it! I didn't take it as man bashing, but rather a good assessment on "using your head" . Everyone is out to fullfil THEIR needs, and the written profiles really do reveal some truths if you pay attention. I'm sure it's true of women too. Thanks for the laughs.....it was fun. | |
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PeatL
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Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 195 | |
| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 9/7/2009 12:48:11 PM | Also, there's a couple of sweet spots off to the side or to the side and above from which a less attractive woman can take a picture and look very good.
I don't know if it works on men as well. Maybe I should experiment. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 9/8/2009 6:58:17 AM | hey PeatL, I had a little giggle when I read your post. What you said is VERY TRUE!!
I've also found some pics which used special lighting in order to appear more attractive. There are people who do know how to take advantage of sweet spots (and special lighting and background). When you meet them in person, it can be kind of a shock to see that they aren't as attractive in 'real life'.
Personally, I'd rather post an ordinary pic ....hmmmm, well there is that pic of me with a zombie in the background, maybe I should go back and get rid of it.
I admit that I enjoy perusing profiles and looking at pics. Some of the pics I've seen are pretty interesting..I've checked out tattoos, funny pet pics etc. I've added those profile to my favs for the sheer entertainment value.
have a great day!!
p.s. You don't need to experiment with your sweet spots. You are fine!! | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:37:17 AM | Everything that message 176 (top of this page) already stated.
I'm taking a break from meeting anyone right now because I really need to think about whether this is how I want to meet guys.
I've only had one good experience (not from this site......lol) and he happened to live 2 hrs away and the travelling became too hard plus with both of us having kids etc.
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 9/8/2009 3:20:18 PM | | What keeps us coming back, that tomorrow is going to be better. Truthfully, I think we need to keep in mind that when thinking of why we are not finding the right person, also keep in mind the ones that we refused to take. Turnaround is fair play, like it or not. :) | |
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