| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:33:18 PM |
I repeat.......those that are doing the asking.....seem to have more issues than those being asked and not answering.
Awww...Ms Micki, I have to disagree with you here.
"I don't know", is an admission.
"None of your business", is a barrier.
I have asked, and been asked, this question before. I find it reveals quite a bit about a person's attitude towards sex, regardless of the number being high or low... | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:43:09 PM | | I'm not boasting but stating a fact. I couldn't give an honest answer. I stopped counting some time ago.I don't look at my ladies as trophies on the wall so it isn't worth tracking. I'm still waiting to have the one that I wake up to, and know will be there till they day I die. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:04:26 PM |
Awww...Ms Micki, I have to disagree with you here.
"I don't know", is an admission.
"None of your business", is a barrier.
I have asked, and been asked, this question before. I find it reveals quite a bit about a person's attitude towards sex, regardless of the number being high or low...
I would never consider asking someone this.......I honestly believe it reeks of insecurity. A man could have slept w/ 80 women and still be a lousy lover!
A woman could have only slept with one man her entire life......but give the greatest head around! Numbers don't tell you what's important......like are they a cheater or a liar or an abuser.
and I don't look at "none of your business" as a barrier........I look at it as a fact.
My sexual history, along with my non sexual history is mine to share if I choose.
It is not anyone's "right" to know it.....therefore....it's none of their business!!
Would you ask a date how many times a week he/she masturbates?
That can tell ya alot about someone too.......but I can't see too many people asking a potential partner this. It's personal business.
I prefer to "judge" my mates on how they treat me in the here and now.
Not how they treated any other woman before me.
And I expect the same in return. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:31:29 PM | With all due respect to the Sex Goddess that you are...(I am being sincere, I have learned a lot from your posts.)
I am still going to have to disagree with you.
I would never consider asking someone this.......I honestly believe it reeks of insecurity.
No...it doesn't. What reeks of insecurity is when someone tries to hide their sexual history.
A woman could have only slept with one man her entire life......but give the greatest head around! Numbers don't tell you what's important
We are talking about attitudes, not talents.
Numbers don't tell you what's important......like are they a cheater or a liar or an abuser.
Totally, fookin' agree with you...
It is not anyone's "right" to know it
It is not a person's "right"...it is information I am comfortable sharing.
Would you ask a date how many times a week he/she masturbates?
You know, I never thought of this. I think I will, if I ever go on a date that is especially boring...  | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:38:38 PM | I don't know is a perfectly acceptable answer.......but none of your business isn't.
If you don't know then you don't know. I'm not asking someone to make up a number.
I repeat.......those that are doing the asking.....seem to have more issues than those being asked and not answering.
You can believe anything you want. I'll do what I do and if a woman doesn't like it, no one is forcing her to date me.
It is not anyone's "right" to know it.....therefore....it's none of their business!!
That is partially correct. It's no one's right to know anything about you. It's also not your right to insist that someone date you if he chooses to make it his business or not date you and you disagree with him. I can put whatever price I want on dating me and I do not complain about anyone who feels like the price is too high.
Would you ask a date how many times a week he/she masturbates?
For some reason, that seems to be interesting mostly to women. If I were asked (and I have been asked) I would answer the question. Why? Does that seem like another big deal? I've been asked more personal questions from women on pof the first time they've sent me a message. So what?
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:41:26 PM |
How someone answers the "numbers" question is as irrelevant as what the number actually is. There is no useful, reliable information to be gained from any body-language she exhibits while answering the question, nor from the answer itself.
I've already explained that to you, but you are apparently incapable of grasping the concept that what is being asked and answered extends beyond the obvious. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:02:25 PM |
I've already explained that to you, but you are apparently incapable of grasping the concept that what is being asked and answered extends beyond the obvious.
Your argument revolves around this claim of being able to pinpoint and learn from the "evasiveness" of someone's answer. That's your entire position. I answered that contention more than once. | |
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p~s
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Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 283 | |
| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:13:17 PM |
No. My business is whatever I want it to be. If a woman doesn't like that, she doesn't have to date me. I've dated an escort before, so you can't attribute that to me caring what number she might actually tell me.
So you don't mind when a woman asks all sorts of questions ?
Don't mind if she starts looking into what you have on your pc or on your phone?
Don't let me down now, after all, a girls business is whatever she wants it to be. If you don't like it, you don't have to date her. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:15:11 PM | How someone answers the "numbers" question is as irrelevant as what the number actually is.
This is not necessarily the case...
There is no useful, reliable information to be gained from any body-language she exhibits while answering the question, nor from the answer itself.
I have to disagree with you there, spitfire. Body language is a key component in observing how or what a person thinks/feels about a question, answer, situation, etc...to discount this is to ignore 85% of what your brain is actually telling you. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:40:59 PM | For the most part,
I agree with Abelian almost 100% on this issue.
I have ALWAYS asked this question, and without fail, the girls who were weird about answering it, or evasive had serious issues (in my eyes) and were not compatible with me.
That is all. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:46:26 PM |
So you don't mind when a woman asks all sorts of questions ?
Don't mind if she starts looking into what you have on your pc or on your phone?
Don't let me down now, after all, a girls business is whatever she wants it to be. If you don't like it, you don't have to date her.
I've been in that position...
My girlfriend uses my cell phone... she can answer it if she's closer than I am... she's even borrowed it when the need has arisen...
She's used my computer a lot... it never had a password on it... still doesn't... although she did crash it once... but we're not quite sure how... LOL
She can answer a chat too... if she feels like it....
My last g/f I treated the same way...
They too reciprocated... nothing to hide tends to encourage trust...
Hell, the person who you need to trust the most is your significant other... if you can't trust him/her and be open with them, then why bother... ????
If someone determined what they thought I should know about them, then I'm gone... I'd wonder what else they think I wasn't able to know/handle... | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:48:55 PM |
On the other hand, if a woman decides to evade a question to which she thinks I won't like the answer, I'd figure she would evade any question she didn't want to answer for the same reason
I don't normally agree with your posts... but in this, I agree 100% with the whole post of yours... | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:51:49 PM | Yeah I'm Abelian and I usually don't see eye to eye either...
But on this issue, I don't really have much to add after his posts. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:04:54 PM | Your argument revolves around this claim of being able to pinpoint and learn from the "evasiveness" of someone's answer. That's your entire position. I answered that contention more than once.
No, you did not answer it. You just said I couldn't do it, but I'm fairly good at it. I own the assets of my business outright because I realized the evasiveness of the person who owned the busineess and hired me indicated he was dishonest. He preferred signing the business over to me rather than the alternative for trying to rip me off even though he never admitted to anything. You may not have much intuition, but some of us do and we utilize it very effectively.
You ask questions like these and it wont matter how many he/she's been with, all sorts of jealous feelings may develop potentially hurting what you might just have with this person who is here and now.
Only if you're insecure. I've never understood the concept that not knowing something alters reality.
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:12:06 PM |
Don't mind if she starts looking into what you have on your pc or on your phone?
No, as a matter of fact I would not care. Every woman I've ever dated has had free run of my place and access to my things. They have always been free to answer my phone and ask who I'm talking to. Anyone I date is free to go through everything I own if that makes her happy. Why would I date someone I wouldn't want looking through my stuff? | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:14:53 PM |
I have to disagree with you there, spitfire. Body language is a key component in observing how or what a person thinks/feels about a question, answer, situation, etc...to discount this is to ignore 85% of what your brain is actually telling you.
People are starting to get off-topic here. Body-language signals are very difficult to interpret even by those trained in that pseudo-science. The average person on the street learns nothing consistent nor useful from body-language cues. It's certain that such signs are clearly observable by most; but the varying interpretations attached to these signs are what make them useless.
Asking a provocative question and then seeing how the target reacts is not a new thing. The average, immature, 12-year-old makes a full-time hobby out of it. That 12-year-old is not learning anything substantive about his schoolmate target---he's just trying to see what the reaction will be.
The "how many" question seems to serve a similar role in an adult setting. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:38:25 PM | divagreen wrote:
I find it reveals quite a bit about a person's attitude towards sex, regardless of the number being high or low...
Finally, a statement in this thread that I can get abso-freakin-lutely behind. This issue of asking and answering the matter of how many does reveal one's attitude toward sex - or more particularly, sexual relationships.
I've made no bones about the fact that my number is all the way up to 1 (and a fraction). Should I ever get married again, that future Mrs. TK will have full access to my past (as it relates to our relationship) as I have nothing to hide. I also expect that we will have frank discussions about sex, expectations, desires, and no go issues. Something I wish I had been a bit more pushy about with the first Mrs. TK.
Should that time ever come her candidness concerning this question would be important, and revealing. Hiding or obfuscating one's past is a serious red flag issue for me. It is as important to me as being on the same page in our world view, faith, and sexual attitudes / mores.
MsMicki wrote:
.those that are doing the asking.....seem to have more issues than those being asked and not answering.
I too dispute this bald faced assertion. Show the evidence that backs up your statement. I've been faithful, true, and open on this matter. Can you say the same. So now, who has the issues? Or is it that you have no actual idea about the men you've had sex with.
Another point that repeatedly comes across from the 'don't ask, can't tell' folk is for some the actual numbers are as enshrouded in mist as is Westen Montana during a winter inversion. Does sex, physical intimacy, mean so little to those of you (women and men) that who you've slept with and when matter so little. It's as if such a sharing is no more important than an itch being scratched.
And there in lies the rub. That is the issue that the 'don't ask, can't tell' brigade fears exposing to light. All this lip service to being able to establish a long term relationship fades away when we examine the past. Barring something miraculous I would no more trust my heart to woman who can not remember past "loves" than I would wake a suckling griz. Again, barring the miraculous, the past is a predictor of the present and a guide to the future.
TK
{I can name every person (for me - a woman) I kissed romantically; can you. They were, and are, important to me.} | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 11:21:20 PM |
People are starting to get off-topic here.
I have noticed, that when people point out that someone is off topic, it is usually in response to a response, where they were actually off topic.
My favorite is when they tie in their off topic reply, to the original topic.
The average person on the street learns nothing consistent nor useful from body-language cues. It's certain that such signs are clearly observable by most; but the varying interpretations attached to these signs are what make them useless.
I actually agree with you on this.
My original post read:
to discount this is to ignore 85% of what your brain is actually interpreting.
But I changed it to:
to discount this is to ignore 85% of what your brain is actually telling you
Because of said interpretation. If I elaborated, I would really be getting off topic.
Asking a provocative question and then seeing how the target reacts is not a new thing.
No, it is not. Provocative...target...do you see the flaw in this perceiving?
The average, immature, 12-year-old makes a full-time hobby out of it. That 12-year-old is not learning anything substantive about his schoolmate target---he's just trying to see what the reaction will be.
People have varying reasons for asking this question. Who am I to judge, or be judged?
I just want an honest answer. And in return, I will give one. But only to the person I am intimate with.  | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 11:42:34 PM | | You can never have too many past partners. What's done is done and ya move on without lookin back. All I'm hoping for is that people never stop humping a lot of people, that way one day someone will develop an immunity to an incurable disease such as HIV. Oh wait there's already prostitutes in Africa that are immune to it but they gotta keep humping to keep the immunity, such is life. Never stop humping for one day you shall cure the world of illness. Anyone know a manwhore that's immune to human papilloma virus? You'll hear about it some day. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 11:44:52 PM | | I have wondered this myself...I think it's a turn off talking about how many people you have or haven't been with. I don't even tell my BEST friends how many people I been with, actually I try not to think about it! Of course, I'm probably innocent, but I'm not sure and I don't want to sound like a slut, besides we're not in the 10th grade for god's sake who talks about this stuff? I don't like it when a man gives me too much information about his history...but I really hate it when he says, 5! C'mon, you're 35 years old and you been with 5 women? That seems to be their magic number! haha | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2009 11:56:54 PM | | To me, anyone, male or female, that has had sex with someone that wasn't their boyfriend or girlfriend is a wh*re or manwh*re. There are extenuating circumstances...for example, you meet someone you like on vacation and are never going to see them again, but that kind of thing only happens once in a blue moon, so I'd say anyone in their teens with over 1 or 2 partners is a wh*re and anyone in their 20s with over 6 or 7 partners is a wh*re. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/18/2009 12:09:41 AM | To me, anyone, male or female, that has had sex with someone that wasn't their boyfriend or girlfriend is a wh*re or manwh*re. There are extenuating circumstances...for example, you meet someone you like on vacation and are never going to see them again, but that kind of thing only happens once in a blue moon, so I'd say anyone in their teens with over 1 or 2 partners is a wh*re and anyone in their 20s with over 6 or 7 partners is a wh*re.
Quoted for ignorance.
there are extenuating circumstances...for example, you meet someone you like on vacation and are never going to see them again,
Okay, so having a FWB relationship is more slutty than this? hrm... You're confused, my friend. I guess if you sleep with someone you know, you're a whore, and if you sleep with a complete stranger, that's perfectly acceptable. There's logic for you
You, sir, fail at life.
kkthxbai. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/18/2009 12:57:39 AM | | FWB relationships are a myth. Everyone I know who's ever been in one, one side has wanted more than the other and it turned out ugly every time. My friend is in one as we speak and the woman is a complete psycho. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/18/2009 3:46:21 AM |
FWB relationships are a myth.
Simply not true. I have had a few of these and remain friends with the men to this day. They are great guys and great friends. Only reasons we are not still hanging out is because one or the other of us moved | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 8/18/2009 4:42:56 AM |
I too dispute this bald faced assertion. Show the evidence that backs up your statement. I've been faithful, true, and open on this matter. Can you say the same. So now, who has the issues? Or is it that you have no actual idea about the men you've had sex with.
Once again, you're proving my point!
You might be extremely surprised at my number.
and Yes, I can say that I have been faithful and true in every relationship I've had.
I have never cheated........never.
For you to ASSume my number is high because I don't think it's anyone business is why I feel the way I do.
Along w/ numbers.......comes alot of ASSumptions.
Being knowledgeable about one's sexuality, having opinions and discussing them in an open forum.......does not mean one has had alot of partners. | |
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