| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:38:21 AM | Tarvold you'll never have more partners than a woman who sleeps around, no man can. A woman can sleep with 500 people in a year if she chooses to. So that's why the decisions they make are important.
I agree with m_church women with high numbers always seem to have something a little wrong with them. It's hard to pinpoint exactly but there's definitely something there. I always get along better with women that are more conservative, this is something I've noticed throughout my life.
| |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:39:12 AM | lets say the real actual # is the y variable.
you would have to figure at least y times y= z, then z divided by the % of people infected by a certain STD= your likelyhood of being infected
....or the green puss is always a giveaway. | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:44:04 AM | | Diseases aren't really why I prefer conservative women but it's a good point to throw in with the rest of my reasons. I don't have any form of herpes and I'd like to keep it that way, a woman with high numbers most likely has herpes because it's not that hard to get. | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:51:16 AM | Personally, I do go with this whole "you have to hold out" business; on the occasions that I am that into someone, and I'm emotionally and sexually ready to go there with him, I will. This is rare for me, as I am incredibly picky, so I let it happen when it does. It has nothing to do with being "easy" and everything to do with the person I want to sleep with
See you sort of take it to the other extreme you won't do anything with a guy unless he's Brad Pitt and passes your 100 point checklist. You ladies just need a happy medium for gods sake. I'll give you props though at least you put in your profile you're picky. | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:57:29 AM | .................................................................107!!!!
^T^ | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:39:29 AM |
I agree with m_church women with high numbers always seem to have something a little wrong with them.
I consider that I have something wrong too as I have the smallest number. However, it's greater than zero... | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:39:08 AM |
Have you ever thought that maybe YOU are the variable in there you're neglecting to mention? What if she's really just that into YOU? Personally, I do go with this whole "you have to hold out" business; on the occasions that I am that into someone, and I'm emotionally and sexually ready to go there with him, I will. This is rare for me, as I am incredibly picky, so I let it happen when it does. It has nothing to do with being "easy" and everything to do with the person I want to sleep with. I'm sure I can't be the only woman who functions this way, but I can't help but think you're cutting out some women who really might just like you that much.
While I do agree with you to a certain extent, I can't buy into it completely. I know that at my age a woman is not going to change her dating style JUST for me. I'm not the one guy or one of a few guys that she suddenly decides to sleep with right away. It's usually more the case that a woman who sleeps with a guy quickly sleeps with many guys quickly... It's just not that big of a deal to them. And quite often she will say "Oh, I don't normally do this...", yet it seems they do.... repeatedly...
Also: I don't understand how 1) holding out is tied to respect, or 2) it means anything more than what it does if she has sex with you early. Why all the loading it with (likely false) meaning? Why not just go with it if you like her, and not do it if you don't? What is it that causes some people to think it's okay to judge women based on one instance of her sexuality, and to think that's okay?
Why? Because we are choosing women based on OUR criteria, not on what the woman thinks are the criteria we want. If we want a woman who has not slept with a lot of men, then that is part of our preferences. If she sleeps with a man quite soon, what is it that makes WRONG to judge a woman on one (likely false) meaning? Everyone's methods and preferences when choosing are simply their own. You may or may not understand them, but that doesn't invalidate them.
Someone may not like another person based on hair colour, yet it's still considered a reasonable preference....
This is rare for me, as I am incredibly picky, so I let it happen when it does.
For you it's rare... Ok... now for some women it's a weekly thing... And it really is... I've watched women leave the bar with a different guy every week for months at a time....
You say it's rare for you.... Ok... that's fine for some men. Other men may look at it as even one 1 night stand is too many for a woman they want as a life partner... again, it's all down to preferences.... Some men are incredibly picky... some are not... | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/9/2009 11:59:32 AM | I would rather not know, and it really does not matter as long as they are faithful to me within whatever parameters we set, and do not presently have any communicable diseases.
I'd probably be uncomfortable if someone had too few as well as if they had too many - but I don't know what those numbers are. Too few, and perhaps I'd erroneously conclude that they dislike sex or are miserably unskilled at it. Too many, and I might worry that I am too naive for them. So, best not to ask or tell. | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/9/2009 1:04:00 PM | | I can fix a guy's sex ability if he's not in sickness, too old, or too obese. However, I ignore anyone who has so many sex partners in his life. Living a happy and confident life doesn't mean having to be with so many sex partners. | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/9/2009 5:34:55 PM | realitybites:
See you sort of take it to the other extreme you won't do anything with a guy unless he's Brad Pitt and passes your 100 point checklist. You ladies just need a happy medium for gods sake. I'll give you props though at least you put in your profile you're picky.
I said I'm picky--I did NOT say that I wanted to date Brad Pitt. Sexual attraction is definitely a variable, but I'm going by the chemistry I feel, not how objectively attractive others might find him. Aside from which, I think I know what I need better than you do, thanks.
m_church:
I know that at my age a woman is not going to change her dating style JUST for me. I'm not the one guy or one of a few guys that she suddenly decides to sleep with right away. It's usually more the case that a woman who sleeps with a guy quickly sleeps with many guys quickly... It's just not that big of a deal to them. And quite often she will say "Oh, I don't normally do this...", yet it seems they do.... repeatedly...
That's how I function. I've been on a lot of dates, and I don't feel chemistry or interest with most of them. If I do, then I go for it. This, again, happens rarely, and when I do get that interested in someone, it's for a relationship, not just a one-night stand.
Really, I think it's an arbitrary and fairly meaningless criterion. I'm generally of the mindset that people can pick whatever stupid criteria they want to value in a partner, but I also hate this cultural thing we have of judging women based on their sexual behavior. It's demeaning that people think they can boil it all down to one facet of a woman's personality, and that that determines her worth as a person. It's also something that men rarely have to face, certainly not the way women do, and that's unfair and unjust. I think the number alone of people someone's slept with is fairly meaningless. | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/10/2009 12:59:13 AM | | It depends soley on how much you feel like getting laid. | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:29:47 AM |
That's how I function. I've been on a lot of dates, and I don't feel chemistry or interest with most of them. If I do, then I go for it. This, again, happens rarely, and when I do get that interested in someone, it's for a relationship, not just a one-night stand.
That's the catch though isn't it. How do you know it's going to be a relationship from the first night. Many men are very good at creating 'chemistry' to get a girl into bed. I it's worked for you then, hey good for you... but for most women it doesn't work out that way... All too often it IS a one night stand.
Really, I think it's an arbitrary and fairly meaningless criterion. I'm generally of the mindset that people can pick whatever stupid criteria they want to value in a partner, but I also hate this cultural thing we have of judging women based on their sexual behavior. It's demeaning that people think they can boil it all down to one facet of a woman's personality, and that that determines her worth as a person. It's also something that men rarely have to face, certainly not the way women do, and that's unfair and unjust. I think the number alone of people someone's slept with is fairly meaningless.
The number if partners is actually meaningless but how she got to those number is what is really important.... and the number itself can be a clue. Men look at that number to determine if she has issues with low self-esteem, perhaps she was abused... perhaps she cheats... perhaps she simply has comittment issues... maybe she simply can't say "No". Maybe she simply makes poor choices in who she goes out with....
Maybe she's slept with people he knows, or someone from his family... maybe she did drugs or has issues with alcohol, or low self-image or weight problems. Maybe she equates sex with love and has sex out of misplaced looking for love and affirmation. Simply how she sees love vs sex vs intimacy can be a deal breaker. A man who sees sex as the strongest bond of sharing and love is going to have a problem with a woman who sees sex as "just sex" or as a biological function like going to the bathroom. Maybe she is in control of her sexuality and all her partners have been well thought out and she has got a good head on her shoulders... but this happens very rarely... all too often the women merely 'thinks' she's in control...
Then men look at how any or all of those might affect him if he enters into a long term relationship with her... | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:54:09 AM |
The number if partners is actually meaningless but how she got to those number is what is really important.... and the number itself can be a clue. Men look at that number to determine if she has issues with low self-esteem, perhaps she was abused... perhaps she cheats... perhaps she simply has comittment issues... maybe she simply can't say "No". Maybe she simply makes poor choices in who she goes out with....
Maybe she's slept with people he knows, or someone from his family... maybe she did drugs or has issues with alcohol, or low self-image or weight problems. Maybe she equates sex with love and has sex out of misplaced looking for love and affirmation.
Like I said before......asking for numbers only leads to more questions.......or leads to alot of assumptions. You say "Men look at that number to dermine......."
Same frikken thing!
Good Lord......anybody that needs to know about every sexual relationship and the details of "Why".......is just a control freak or unbelievably insecure.
I'd say most of us will tell a dating partner plenty of things about our past and present for them to "determine" if we're compatible......without going into specific details about each and every encounter in our lives. The fact that someone had a one night stand or a 3some in 1980 has absolutely no bearing on who they are today.
So maybe someone got divorced in 1987 and went thru a little rebellion streak for a year.......and then got control of themselves ......does that year "define" that person??
I stand by my comments......needing to know these "numbers" and the reasons behind them.......make someone a less desirable choice then someone with a high number anyday of the week for me. | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:09:16 AM | | I agree MsMicki. I feel people with low numbers can have different issues just as over whelming to some as a high number. | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:13:27 AM | | Hmmm, Does it really matter? Sex isn't a sports game where you need to keep score is it? If it is how do you win. Highest number wins or is it like Golf lowest number wins? If you're in a committed relationship with someone you care about the past shouldn't matter. The only execption is in matters of health. Otherwise, why keep score? | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:23:10 AM |
The fact that someone had a one night stand or a 3some in 1980 has absolutely no bearing on who they are today
Unless of course they're still doing it...
Or how about the 3some was last night?
Just because it's not important for YOU to know, does not in anyway affect how important it is for someone else to know... Everyone has their own criteria for choosing a partner...
Some people don't want redheads...
Some people don't want someone who has done drugs...
Some people don't want a person who has had a lot of partners...
Some people don't want a person with kids...
Some people don't want someone who has had an abortion
Some people don't want someone who has ever had an STD...
Some people don't care what they end up with....
None of these criteria is wrong... | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:26:38 AM |
I've been on a lot of dates, and I don't feel chemistry or interest with most of them.
Good for you guys to enjoy meeting people. When I talk to someone by the phone, I know if he is worth meeting. I don't want to waste anyone's time as well as mine. I don't play around without any reason.
I feel people with low numbers can have different issues just as over whelming to some as a high number.
If you enjoy increasing your encounter numbers, you cannot judge one with low numbers. | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:28:34 AM | | Nope. It's all our very own personal choice. It's not on my mind when I date a man I care about and click with. We all have our priorities. | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:35:51 AM | If your a male asking a women how many men she has "been" with your only asking for trouble...one of the following will happen...
1. She will lie to you.
2. She will give you a number and you wont be happy with it.
3. She will give you a number and you wont believe her if its low
You have put her in a horrible situation. I was once asked the same question. I responded with...more than 1, less than a 100...
I understand the need to know, but your just gonna lead yourself on to more questions that your not gonna like the answers too anyway... | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:36:56 AM | I understsand that everyone deserves his/her preferences. I don't care how many sex partners those guys have had or if they have any issue. Anyway, they have no chance to communicate with me!  | |
|
| How many is too many?
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:26:09 PM | FarmExe:
I've been on a lot of dates, and I don't feel chemistry or interest with most of them. Good for you guys to enjoy meeting people. When I talk to someone by the phone, I know if he is worth meeting. I don't want to waste anyone's time as well as mine. I don't play around without any reason.
I vastly prefer in-person meets to phone conversations, and I also only go on dates with people I think I might be compatible with. Sometimes they're great people with whom I have no chemistry at all, there have been a few I felt chemistry with but we clearly wanted different things at this point, etc. Wasting anyone's time is not my intent, but physical attraction can be such an unpredictable thing that I find it better simply to meet.
m_church:
That's how I function. I've been on a lot of dates, and I don't feel chemistry or interest with most of them. If I do, then I go for it. This, again, happens rarely, and when I do get that interested in someone, it's for a relationship, not just a one-night stand.
That's the catch though isn't it. How do you know it's going to be a relationship from the first night. Many men are very good at creating 'chemistry' to get a girl into bed. I it's worked for you then, hey good for you... but for most women it doesn't work out that way... All too often it IS a one night stand.
I trust my intuition, honestly. I've had a couple situations where things didn't turn out as I might have wanted, but that's okay--I'd rather know than wonder about it, and as I said, I feel that intense chemistry with someone rarely enough that it's worth the risk to act on it. Most of the men I've been with have really wanted to be with me, so it's typically a non-issue.
I feel fairly confident that the people we interact with vary a fair bit in their basic approaches to sexual expression on some levels, so the men I date probably approach sex within the first few dates quite differently than you do.
I still think there are many much better ways to get the information you're looking for with numbers, than to make a multitude of assumption based on the number of person someone has slept with.
MsMicki: I'm totally with you on this one. | |
|
Home
login 
