| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 2:09:37 PM | I'm only concerned with how many he is having sex with when he is involved with and having sex with me. If that number is more than 1, then it is too high!
As for number of partners........................................there's the real don't ask, don't tell issue. I usually don't ask because I simply don't care. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 2:19:46 PM | | The number of people is completely and totaly irrelavent and nobodys business but your own!! If you need to know such a thing then you would be completely insecure and need to look into yourself as to why it would matter! | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 2:36:57 PM | Oh god. When the closed minded attack! In no way does that imply there has been 100's. After the first 5 I "grew up" and stopped counting or caring. That number doesn't mean anything. It really doesn't. Give me a break lol And it is none of any ones business. No partners ask me how many, if he did I would find him insecure.
Anyone hung up on that crap, or their partner is, is obviously not mature enough for me. Most men don't know how many THEY slept with. It isn't even a matter of it being a lot of them, mature people just don't make notches on their bed posts. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 2:44:43 PM |
Most men don't know how many THEY slept with. It isn't even a matter of it being a lot of them
Oh, you know that personally that MOST men don't know...?????
Well, I've been having sex for longer than you've been alive and I can still remember everyone of them... the circumstances, what we did and why we did it...
, mature people just don't make notches on their bed posts.
No... it's more a matter of how important the people we have sex with are... Mature people don't carve notches, but neither do they treat the people they have sex with as little more than living breathing masturbation aids... they actally are people...
Look at it this way, how would you feel if you knew the men you slept with didn't remember a thing you did with them... that you were no more important to them than jerking off... | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 2:54:37 PM | It is actually BETTER that I am just not "number 23". My lovers are names and experiences. Not a number. You have it backwards.
How about I tell you the stories of every sexual romantic encounter I have ever had and YOU assign then numbers? If it is that important. Maybe we can print off t-shirts with their number on them and form some sort of team. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:03:59 PM | So many things can influence the number of sexual partners a person might have.
How old were they when they became sexually active?
Were they in any long term relationships?
How many of these encounters were one night stands?
How old were they when they racked up the numbers?
How often are they changing partners at this point in time?
What was the reason behind their low or high number?
Right now, I have no interest in casual sex. I will only engage in sex in a relationship with someone that I have caring feelings for.
I did have a period in my twenties when I had a series of casual encounters because I was going through that "liberated" stage where I thought if it was ok for men to sleep around it was ok for women too.
What I did at the age of 22 is irrelevant to what I do at the age of 54. Past history is different than present history.
Of course in a day and age of rampant STDs we all want to know our risk exposure.
Frequent partners now is higher risk than frequent partners 30 years ago.
Heck, I smoked pot a few times and got drunk on occassion in my early 20s. That does not make me a drug abuser, or alcoholic at this stage of life. My sexual acting out in my youth does not make me a slut now.
I would have a lot more concern for a person who had ten partners in the last year and a lifetime total of 12, than a person who had 2 partners in the last year 20 years and a lifetime total of 12. That is just my opinion. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 10:27:16 PM | I don't think it matters how many partners a person has , it's the ability to please. I was with this guy, I was his 2nd,(& let's just say I had a leg up on him) he happened to be one of the best lovers I have ever had..I've also been with a guy that had dozens of women & he sucked. The number shouldn't matter, only what the person learns from their previous experiences, that's what makes them a better lover.. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 10:58:33 PM | | I don't know I think if you sleep with more people then the numeric number of your age thats too much. I'll use me as an example : im 25 if I bed more than 25 men thats kinda whorish ....in my opinion! that's like saying i started at 18 so that like 6 yrs so during the course of those six yrs that means I bedded 4 guys a yr that a bit too much for my taste!!! | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/13/2009 11:58:01 PM | I have been sexually involved with many guys. More than most women my age.
A lot of guys are bothred by that.
I don't care. It's in the past. Sex and making love aren't the same thing .
But what makes me mad is a guy who brags about his number but gets offended if you have the same or GOD FORBID higher. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 12:01:57 AM | I think it was the band leader of Kiss
who said he'd slept with over a thousand women
I think unless you are him, or a full-time adult entertainment employee,
you will find it impossible to go anywhere near that
unless each time you have sex
is an orgy...
As Jessica Victoria said
some people (sadly) are bothered by it...
I think it is they who have a problem and not the person who has a healthy sex life: having sex is not a crime! | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 12:02:08 AM | | How many a year is too many? For a young person who is actively dating, would 2 or 3 a year be "too many?" Now, how many years are we talking about? Be careful with your silly judgments. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 12:53:02 AM | you people make me ashamed AAA-SHAMED! to live in this generation. does no one care about saving themselves for love? so many of you defend having sex just for pleasure (no commitment needed) and say the number isnt a big deal because you dont care... thats sad. could you people believe there was once a time where everyones number of sexual partners was 1... for thier whole life? i doubt you could. have some pride for yourself in knowing that sex actually matters.... at least to a gentleman. i have the utmost respect for the men and women who actually wait until marriage. i hate that phrase "its in the past so it doesnt matter". lol. what ever helps you sleep at night i guess, because 5 minutes ago is in the past. if i ever get convicted of a crime i should use your logic: "your honor, what i did is in the past now, can we just move on?"
Sex and making love are not the same thing
yes they are different, but not in the sense that they are two different acts. thats something i could see a cheater saying to justify cheating. "oh dont worry honey, we didnt make love....we just had sex". for the people who "dont care" or couldnt count the number of partners if they tried, its people like you that make me think im going to more enjoy being single forever. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:56:02 AM |
Sex and making love aren't the same thing .
Ok... so sex and love making are not the same thing....
So what are the physical differences between sex and making love then....??? Show me that one is not the same as the other physically.... | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 7:11:48 AM | Sex and love are two different things.
Sex is just physical where two people give each other physical pleasure while making love is both physical and mental.
If I have sex with someone it doesn't mean I love them and If I love a person its not that I will stop loving them if I don't have sex with them.
Then how can they be the same thing? | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 7:23:30 AM |
Ok... so sex and love making are not the same thing....
So what are the physical differences between sex and making love then....??? Show me that one is not the same as the other physically....
The difference is not physical, you know that m_church, the difference is emotional.
When I look back at my sexual history, I am not proud. When people ask a question like, "If you could undo anything from your past, and do things differently, what would it be?" For me, I would not engage in those casual sexual encounters that I racked up in my twenties that were sex for the sake of sex. I convinced myself at the time that I enjoyed sex, and if it was ok for men to have casual sex it was ok for women too. It is the one thing about my youth that I wish I could "do over."
Unfortunately, life does not give us a "do over" with our sexual choices.
I am not the same woman I was in my twenties. I do not have the same attitude now that I did then. I have evolved as a person and matured as a woman. Now I would rather masturbate than engage in any form of sexual activity with a man that I do not care for strongly (i.e. think I am falling in love). To be honest, I just want someone to love and grow old with. I love everything about sex, and enjoy expressing myself sexually, but I want to save all that sexual energy for a man that I treasure.
The one life defining event that changed me was meeting my husband and making love for the first time. From that point forward I couldn't go back. No more causal sex for me, now only sex in a relationship which to me feels like making love.
So, physically sex and making love are the same, however, the emotional intent are very different. The mindset is very different. I would become involved with a man who has a past similar to mine. However, I would not become involved with him if he was continuing at this age to live that lifestyle. I thank God that I don't have to deal with it at all right now, because I found a keeper. If I am so blessed, this man will be the last notch on my bedpost. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 7:50:55 AM | | I'm not attracted to women that have slept around a lot or had one night stands. It has nothing to do with being insecure which is the usual label thrown at people that feel like I do. I like the good girls that save it for a relationship. Usually the people that hate on guys like me that think that way are people that have a lot of skeletons in their closet and things they regret. I don't believe in waiting until marriage though I think that's a little extreme, but I can't say I would not give a woman a chance that felt that way. If she was a match made in heaven I could possibly wait I don't know maybe that's crazy. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 8:15:09 AM | | If you notice in these types of threads it's usual the people that have had a lot of partners that get offended if a member of the opposite sex is interested in their past sexual history. Why is that? I have no problem telling a woman how many people I've slept with. I'm not ashamed of it at all and I'm proud of it actually. What's the big secret? It's just normal conversation to me such as relationship history, I don't see a difference. If sex is just sex and doesn't mean anything you shouldn't be scared to say if you've had a hundred partners right? | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 8:38:48 AM |
The difference is not physical, you know that m_church, the difference is emotional.
Ahhhh..... I see..... explains so much...
So how does the guy you're fcuking know the difference???? I mean really. Its not all that obvious to the guy now is it, how you feel... afterall, we weren't there to see the difference when you were with other guys... so from our point of view... it's all the same... How are we to know that we are so much more important than the last guy(s)??? What are you doing that makes the difference to me as opposed to what you did with the last guy(s)????? Why would I feel so much more special....? | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:30:19 AM |
It has nothing to do with being insecure which is the usual label thrown at people that feel like I do. There really is nothing really wrong with being insecure either. You can be as confident as you like but if you are not as good a lover being secure wont make you a better lover. I would not want a man who has a lot of lovers. I would wonder if he was comparing me to all the other women. Dont kid yourselves either men do compare. The less women a man has had the less women I get compared to. Much better for me. I would rather be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond when it comes to comparing me. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:35:44 AM | | lol a persons number is irrelevant... because a person could have slept with 50 people once while you slept with 2 people 25 times and you both had the same amount of sex. All that matters is that everyone is being safe and wrapping it up. If you have a problem with the amount of people your partner has slept with it's not because they are a hoe.. you are just lame and can't get as much as they can. Don't knock them for being a smexy beast lol.... how about that =P | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:39:37 AM | When two people make love it's something they can both tell.
I t's more emotional and not just getting off. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:51:22 AM | I would like some feed back from the men. This my situation..I ran around alot when I was younger(teenager to early adult), but as an adult have had a very limited amount of sexual partners and have even been celibate a couple of years at a time. I am currently saving myself for a long term relationship before I sleep with someone again. Does my promiscuous past matter? Does it count that now I am saving myself for someone who is worth the wait? | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 11:28:39 AM |
So how does the guy you're fcuking know the difference???? I mean really. Its not all that obvious to the guy now is it, how you feel... afterall, we weren't there to see the difference when you were with other guys... so from our point of view... it's all the same... How are we to know that we are so much more important than the last guy(s)??? What are you doing that makes the difference to me as opposed to what you did with the last guy(s)????? Why would I feel so much more special....?
Well, I know the difference between making love and fvcking. I am not fvcking my boyfriend. Never have, and never will, for fvcking to me is a mindset. My current relationship knows the difference between making love and fvcking. Everyone knows the difference between making love with someone while you are involved in a relationship and casual sex.
You point out the difference in your statement. The men I have made love with were more important by nature of our relationship. The guys who were casual sex encounters were not romantic interests. They were casual friends, not someone I was trying to build a relationship with.I never said I was proud of the behavior of my youth. It was what it was. I was a product of my generation and their morals.
A man knows when he is special to a woman by the way she treats him outside the bedroom. Relationships are based on interaction in places other than the bed.
The number of partners a person has in their past is not such a big deal. Many people have gone through a phase where casual encounters were the norm. What is important to me is that they have that out of their system, and they are interested in a romantic exclusive, monogamous realtionship with commitment and long range thinking. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/14/2009 12:29:32 PM |
I am currently saving myself for a long term relationship before I sleep with someone again. Does my promiscuous past matter? Does it count that now I am saving myself for someone who is worth the wait?
Your past would not matter to me. However, what would matter is the way it's affected your behaviour in the present, which in this case, seems to be too much of a radical shift in the other direction for me. What I DON'T want is someone who lives with regrets and is trying to somehow atone or apologize for the past. I would not wait, but that just means we wouldn't be a match, not that your desire to wait is wrong. That depends on why you are waiting. | |
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