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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:32:19 PM | | Post it POF and ask strangers if it is a good number.....;) | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:33:09 PM | Woops
If I told you how many women I've been with...........what are you gonna do with this information?? Is it gonna do you any good??
Post it POF and ask strangers if it is a good number.....;) | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:41:36 AM | well... the way I see it is. depending on age... over 10 is too much. I mean I lost my virginity at the age of 20. and I have only been with 6 people. but do you really want to be with someone who is about the same age as you and has slept with 30+ people. thats just disgusting.
So, a woman who had only 4 more partners than you is disgusting? I'm sure when you reach 10 partners, you'll have an epiphany and up the disgusting threshold far enough above you to be comfortably below it. Funny how that works.
It can be difficult to find a happy middle ground between celibate and slutty.
That's especially true if one is always having to revise where that middle ground lies in order to continue judging others by a shifting relative standard.
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/17/2009 9:16:07 AM | Well, at 21 and younger, I was up to the mind-boggling number of ZERO. Now, 30 some odd years later I've upped that grand total to 1 and a fraction. And, yes, I did enjoy the fraction.
I am really uncomfortable with the sleeping around (you know, it is just sex, it's not love), serial monogamy (but I only loved one person at a time), or any other justifications we make to appease ourselves, or others.
For me there are just too many consequences to "just having sex." For one, sex in its most elemental form is for procreation. Yeah, I know, you take precautions (hormonal, barrier, sterilization, etc.) but what if? What did you do with those consequences? yeah, I do want to know. It tells me a lot about who you are as a person. About your character.
And there is that whole STD thing. OK, you get tested every year, every 6 months, every day. That's like testing the gun used in Russian Roulette after the fact. Yup, there's an empty smoking cartridge in the chamber; this after your brains are splattered across the far wall. What are you gonna do if the test turns up positive? Sure, get treated. But what if the infection is antibiotic resistant, or you've contracted HIV, etc. And what about the period from infection to determination? Some of these diseases have a incubation period in which it is possible to contaminate an innocent prior to testing positive. What are you gonna say to the poor stupid mope who slept with you and contracted HIV because it wasn't time for your yearly test? WELL? Was it his or her fault? You gonna make it all better? WELL????
And third, it is not JUST SEX. Every time you engage in "just sex" your body (male and female) reacts to that stimulus as if it mattered. There are hormonal responses, designed to increase intimacy and bonding, taking place that cannot be avoided. Oh, wait a minute, they can be avoided. By engaging in that behavior to such an extent that it deadens or minimizes the effect those hormonal changes induce you can avoid the consequences of their influence. But do you really want to be with someone who has played god with their bodies so much or so often that being able to make that natural connection is minimal or down right impossible. Do you really think that your ability to make a connection is strictly a matter of your mind. Try making that argument to a new parent.
So, no, I don't want to waste my time on a woman who's life experiences can be summed up in four little letters: SLUT. If I were a woman, my answer would be the same - no male sluts either.
While at this age I do not expect (nor do I actually want) a virgin, I do desire a woman who has had the self control and self respect of a woman of great character. I desire to and will offer her the same. At the same time I want a woman for whom "sex," "making love," etc., with her lover is something she thinks about and greatly desires. I think, and strongly believe, that desire, good will, and a large dollop of humour and experimentation will add up to and out weigh years of experience with others.
So far, my 'pen' has only known one 'inkwell.' And while I may not know what the writing on the wall for me will bring, I have very few regrets.
TK
{You know, can we get away from using the phrase, "doing the nasty," unless we're making a joke. Can we? } | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:14:54 PM | | what I was trying to say is. I dont want to be with a woman that is my age and slept with a ton of men that they werent in relationships with just because they were drunk or horny or someother stupid reason. I can understand a couple one night stands or something. but come on. going out everyweekend and getting smashed and sleeping with a stranger is just wrong. and I know there are people out there that will think I am small minded or something. but I have never slept with someone unless I was in a relationship with them. and that wont be changing anytime soon | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:55:45 PM |
What did you do with those consequences? yeah, I do want to know. It tells me a lot about who you are as a person. About your character.
exactly - agree with your whole post actually - well said | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/17/2009 9:20:43 PM | Eh, you know what? I agree that numbers don't matter as much as the safety and context of the situations, but that only works up to a point. If I heard of a 19 year old girl who slept with something like 40 or 50 guys, that'd be a turn off for me. It gets to a point where I'm like, "yo... what are your standards???" A number like that is a LOT lol Not cool. I mean, even 30-something people by 18 or 19 to me is a lot. I'm not saying the person is a no-good whore who's just a detriment to society, but.... After a while, wouldn't you rather have someone really special to share sex with? Someone you have real sexual, mental and emotional chemistry with?? I would think after a while it'd get to be kind of repetitive and more like a chore; maintenance. "Well, let me go get off again.. I better find the nearest penis/vagina and go to work... Gotta clean these pipes out." lol
Come on people... If you REALLY wanna answer OPs question, think about it.. Even those who say that numbers aint important... Come on lol For real?? Say you had a partner who proudly stated, "Yeah, I've definitely banged over a hundred people,"... that wouldn't bother you? I'm not saying what would you do, how exactly would you feel, what would you say... I'm just asking, that would bother you a little, wouldn't it?
Not that I'm trying to fight with anyone here... YOU F***IN WHORE!! lol | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/17/2009 11:27:10 PM | I wish I could remember the source, but a few years ago I read about an academic survey (presumably methodologically sound, statistically meaningful, etc.) that included this question. As I recall, both the median and mean number of sexual partners for adult Americans was in the single digits -- say about half a dozen.
Granted, without a cite this isn't much more than an anecdote..... | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/17/2009 11:41:31 PM | I draw the line at 13.
Why? Oh I dunno... it's the last number in the fibonnaci sequence that is less than "18-19". | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/18/2009 9:28:01 AM |
I just don't find promiscuous behavior attractive... a lot of guys do though, it's just not for me... I'm attracted to woman who have self control, and who are a challenge, and hasn't been around... yeah people say "if it's safe who cares" what about if they have an STD and don't even know about it? I'd rather not take the chance.. it's a matter of preference that's all... everybody's different...
I'm the same way. There's a girl at work that likes/liked me. I think she looks decent and doesn't have a bad personality, but she's a little to loose for me. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/18/2009 9:39:04 AM | OP: The fact that you started a thread on this doesn't jibe well with your claim that "there is no limit of restriction to the number of partners a person is entitled to". It can't be both ways. Even starting the conversation means that someone does care. I don't care, so I never ask; and I don't even speculate about it.
What I do want to know from a new partner is that she's healthy and STD-free. That's way more important, and you can't determine that from the number of former partners she's had. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/19/2009 2:30:07 PM |
What I do want to know from a new partner is that she's healthy and STD-free. That's way more important, and you can't determine that from the number of former partners she's had.
Disease free she may be. But each partner increases the risk. Its like dropping your cookie on the floor. If you grab it with in 10 seconds its ok. But you wouldn't want it if it was there for an hour. Same with Sexual diseases. The more people is like leaving the cookie longer. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/19/2009 2:39:51 PM |
Disease free she may be. But each partner increases the risk. Its like dropping your cookie on the floor. If you grab it with in 10 seconds its ok. But you wouldn't want it if it was there for an hour. Same with Sexual diseases. The more people is like leaving the cookie longer.
Apparently, you have a dirty floor. | |
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dlros
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Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 115 | |
| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/19/2009 3:51:21 PM |
I remember a girl I went to college with crying one day because she had slept with 7 guys in her life, and in her own mind, she had just officially become a slut. I was a virgin until I was 19 and felt as if I were wearing a Scarlett V.
Excellent point "denise..."
When are we going to get rid of these ancient sexual moronics?? How many lives have been destroyed, how many ruined relationships, how many suicides???
And it's idiots like this guy who create the environment:
"Niel 86" -
well... the way I see it is. depending on age... over 10 is too much. I mean I lost my virginity at the age of 20. and I have only been with 6 people. but do you really want to be with someone who is about the same age as you and has slept with 30+ people. thats just disgusting.
First time I've ever actually gotten angry with a post- this attitude KILLS, folks. It's not just about sexual choices, it's about horrific labeling of other human beings that don't fit into your perspective of "morality". | |
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dlros
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Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 116 | |
| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:04:50 PM | just don't find promiscuous behavior attractive... a lot of guys do though, it's just not for me... I'm attracted to woman who have self control, and who are a challenge, and hasn't been around... yeah people say "if it's safe who cares" what about if they have an STD and don't even know about it? I'd rather not take the chance.. it's a matter of preference that's all... everybody's different...
This isn't a preference, it's a prejudice. You can't separate the person (who is ostensibly no different than any other physically or intellectually) from your PERCEPTION of that person.
Break it down. Apart from disease (which is as much of a risk from someone who only has ONE partner- sorry the law of chance insures that) what is it you are afraid of in someone who has multiple partners? They might like sex? Ohhhhhhh scary. Maybe you are afraid she might compare you with others and you will come up short. Oh wait, your mommy will find out your girlfriend is a "slut". Or is it your friends that you are afraid of- yea I know the guys always razz you when you date the "loose" girl in town.
Cmon', grow up! We will all be much more mentally, physically and sexually healthier if we just walk away from these ridiculous notions. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:11:45 PM | Who cares what the number is. Get tested,Get tested,Get Tested,when you are both tested and negative, have a great sexual time doing anything and everything to each other that feels good.
We are here for a Good Time,Not A Long Time... | |
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dlros
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Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 118 | |
| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:30:07 AM | In any discussion of human relations we need to be careful and make sure we are accurate; because mistakes can have devastating results-
"m church" has gotten lots of kudos for his statement below.
<div class='quote'> There is a reason they put 1 bullet in a gun to play Russian Roulette, and not 5 bullets... it's called "odds"... sure the one bullet CAN be under the hammer, but the odds are that it won't be... put 5 bullets in and you're pretty much certain to get it... the same thing applies to STD's... increased partners equals increased risk...
** THIS STATEMENT IS COMPLETELY, TOTALLY WRONG!! **!
Put on your math hat's folks, and do a search on "odds" and "probability"
It's been said that "the truth hurts" and in this case it will hurt your BRAIN (it did mine), because the mathematics are complex- but the point is certain: probability (odds) theory, theory of random variables and event theory all deal with this issue. Simply put; every time an event occurs, the odds of that event re-occurring under identical conditions are the same. This is why aircraft pilots do not experience greater odds of dying in a plane crash than the average passenger does. I know it defies common sense, but it is nevertheless an accepted scientific certainty. It's also the reason casinos can stay in business and make massive profits. People operate under the common sense assumption that every time every time they put at quarter in the machine they increase the chances of winning, but nothing could be further from the truth- each pull of the lever is a completely new event with the same odds as the first pull.
The poster's comments about "5 bullets" would be more valid if you had 5 partners at once. And because the amount of prospective sex partners is unlimited (as opposed to the limit of 6 chambers in the gun), THAT metaphor doesn't even hold up.
Look at it this way- let's say you have had 100 partners in your lifetime. You have been tested, and you are disease free. Your partner has no idea how many partners you have had. What is the probability of that person getting a disease from you? Well, zero; am I correct? So even though you have had far more partners than the average person, your partner is no more at risk than if you have had just one.
Ultimately, the odds of getting a disease from sexual contact have much more to do with socioeconomic status, geographic location, personal hygiene and practices, and the dumb luck of your partner. Most of these are beyond the ability of anyone to ascertain, which is why epidemiologists relentlessly insist on each person treating every other person as a potential risk.
The number of past partners (assuming the number is greater than zero) are irrelevant. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:28:08 AM | | The only time a number bothers me is when I was his number 5 and he's slept with 6. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:32:47 AM |
Simply put; every time an event occurs, the odds of that event re-occurring under identical conditions are the same. This is why aircraft pilots do not experience greater odds of dying in a plane crash than the average passenger does. I know it defies common sense, but it is nevertheless an accepted scientific certainty. It's also the reason casinos can stay in business and make massive profits.
Ok... the game Russian Roulette was chosen for a reason... first off, you are correct to say that you only have a 1 in 6 odds with a single bullet... however, russian roulette continues until one participant gets killed. With 5 bullets your odds increase to 5 in 6 chances of dying. Hence why I compared it to number of partners.(5 bullets? No re-spin=1 in 1 (100%) vs. re-spin=5 in 6 (83.3%). Definitely re-spin!)
There are two variations... in one, the cylinder is spun to randomize the bullets before each trigger pull... theoretically, the game could go on forever if no one ever lands on the live cartridge.But you may have to pull the trigger more than once if noone dies in the first go-round and so on....
However, the traditional version of the game (Not the Deer Hunter movie version) is that the cylinder is spun once, then the trigger is pulled. As the gun is****d for each attempt, it automatically rotates the cylinder to the next cartridge. In this case, a maximum of 6 attempts will lead to the end of the game.
In other words, if you go on long enough. Someone will get hurt...
http://thebernoullitrial.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/russian-roulette-an-optimal-strategy/ | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:42:23 AM | All this talk about Russian Roulette, guns and bullets, just get tested,when all is clear,have some adult fun..why talk about percentages etc. Almost all people lie about the number anyway, have you ever heard or said these lines before
Don't worry baby I will pull out
The check is in the mail
As she is sucking you, Dont worry baby I will tell you when I cum..as she spits
Yeh.. forget the stupid number.. get tested and forgetaboudit | |
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dlros
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Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 122 | |
| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:39:35 AM |
In other words, if you go on long enough. Someone will get hurt...
Only if you contend that when you hit your 6th unprotected partner you are dead for sure.
The analogy doesn't wash- I wanted to keep it simple but the rub is in the size of the sample group. In the case of Russian Rou, the sample size is limited to six. Every pull of the trigger changes the odds. Compare that to the sample size of the "sex" case, which is unlimited. Every time the trigger is pulled, the odds get reset down to the same level that existed before the trigger pull.
and "sunlover..." is right, the numbers thing doesn't add up- it's other factors that matter. | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/20/2009 1:54:50 PM | So the biggest concern should be your safety! The odds are you could catch some sort of STD and aren't your chances higher if you sleep with someone that has had more sexual partners! So wouldn't you find it unattractive if someone said they slept with 300 people? I'd assume with a number like that, they have caught something at some point! Would you really want to take that risk?
Everyone's life is different and we as humans have a horrible habit of judging people, and just like people judge you for your looks they will judge you for how many people you have been with! It's a personal choice about how many people you have or will sleep with whether it be for personal issues about confidence or putting yourself in the wrong situation because you liked someone and didn't think things would go this far! You sleep with someone for whatever reason you wish, hell maybe you were just horny that night, maybe you thought if you slept with them you would be able to keep them!
You will make your own choices and just like relationships exsist or don't exsist because of whatever that person did that you didn't like, your number could be a reason but does that mean you still pursue that person? You just move on the same way you would as you would if someone isn't attracted to you!
So if I was you I wouldn't worry about your number but instead you safety but don't let that be the excuse to do whatever, because someone else might wonder why didn't she say no a little bit more! | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/20/2009 2:17:18 PM | There use to be a saying, "when you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone that person had sex with." Sounds right to me. So, not only would I have to worry about the women I've slept with, I also have to worry about the men she has slept with as well. Oh, let me off this merry-go-round, I'm getting light headed.
So, if I have six revolvers on a table in front of me, each with one bullet, and I were to take each revolver, spin the cylinder, and pull the trigger just one time with each revolver, my chances of creating some abstract art on the wall behind me are the same as if I only pulled the trigger once on just one revolver? I haven't increased mychances of ruining a perfectly good projectile? Hmmm, I don't think so.
I think I'll keep my trigger locked.
TK
{I like my sample size. Small} | |
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| How many is too many?
Posted: 7/20/2009 2:51:45 PM |
So, if I have six revolvers on a table in front of me, each with one bullet, and I were to take each revolver, spin the cylinder, and pull the trigger just one time with each revolver, my chances of creating some abstract art on the wall behind me are the same as if I only pulled the trigger once on just one revolver? I haven't increased mychances of ruining a perfectly good projectile? Hmmm, I don't think so. From the Darwin awards: (Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. )
(28 February 2000, Texas) A Houston man earned a succinct lesson in gun safety when he played Russian roulette with a .45-caliber semiautomatic pistol. Rashaad, nineteen, was visiting friends when he announced his intention to play the deadly game. He apparently did not realize that a semiautomatic pistol, unlike a revolver, automatically inserts a cartridge into the firing chamber when the gun is****d. His chance of winning a round of Russian roulette was zero, as he quickly discovered. | |
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