| Why do we women do this to ourselves?
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:18:31 AM | So you worried about losing the sex?
Well, a relationship mostly based on sex is doomed. Don't you think you can get a guy with the sex being equally good but there is also a nice, solid relationship. Perhaps, a solid emotional, spiritual connection and you won't be left worrying about everything.
If you feel entitled to more, take a chance & go find a real man that will do more than the sex. Stop complaining to people on the internet & make a positive change in your life. You know what you need to do. Go do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
| Why do we women do this to ourselves?
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:51:59 AM | You get very attached to people.
Women can have a very hard time finding any man they want and feel sexually attracted to so when one finally comes along you hang on and put up with whatever they dish out.
The examples you gave about one that only wants a booty call or only contacts you once in a while wouldn't interest me in the least ever.
But I have gotten into "semi-relationships" where we are mostly boyfriend and girlfriend only he has others he talks to besides me and is on a dating site looking for more. He says the right things and has constant contact with me BUT is not fully committed to me. And I hang on because I can't think about anyone else.
to the one who said it's about low self-esteem. It definitely is not that.
Hanging onto a guy who isn't into you and having sex with him and not blocking him from your life is the DEFINITION of low self-esteem. | |
|
| |
| Why do we women do this to ourselves?
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:08:59 AM |
I lack self respect because I know he's not good for me? I lack self respect because I am not sitting at home pining away for what I can't have, and am actually out dating?
What part of I'm not sitting back and just waiting for him do some of you not get?
It certainly takes guts to open up as you have. It's never easy to give up great sex. But there is more to life. And as we get older, we learn about what's more important in our lives, great sex or a great friend. Both is always desirable, but i learned that doesn't come around often. let him go. go out on dates, and have fun. Enjoy the moments with other people. I doubt you lack self-repect because you like someone....but regardless, move on. If it's meant to be, he'll be calling.... | |
|
| Why do we women do this to ourselves?
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:53:46 AM |
He says the right things and has constant contact with me BUT is not fully committed to me. And I hang on because I can't think about anyone else.
It´s all about honesty...if your boyfriend is honest, it´s up to you whether you can except the situation or not...you are in control of your life...that´s what is important. | |
|
| Why do we women do this to ourselves?
Posted: 7/10/2009 3:02:45 PM | OP;
I do not comprehend how you can believe that you are having “Great” sex when you are into him and he is not into you. FWB sex can be good, and no problem if you settle for that. Most of us have at one time or another. But, believe me when I say that you must not know what “Great” sex is. I’m not trying to belittle you but sex with someone who is holding back is just….sex, plain and simple.
If we were to put sex on a scale of 1 to 10; the ten is only possible with lovers. And for me, only with a sensual lover. You see then this dance takes on a new feeling; it begins when you know you will see one another again. The anticipation of once more feeling his body against yours, the scent of him, his voice, touch. The foreplay between lovers begins before he is present. He will delight in every part of your body and merely his touch or scent or gaze melts your very core. The aftermath lingers long after he is gone. A call to memorialize the love-making follows with declarations of the passion just encountered. “Your scent is on my bedclothes, my body, my face. All I can think of is when we will be together again. I miss you……."Without passion for you, it really is just good sex…..not great sex. When this passionate connection with another is encountered then and only then is this worth dying for. Think the movie, “The English Patient”. He does die for his love.
The fact is that most persons settle for a lot less because they have not known more or they are not capable of giving or feeling intensely for another. Movies and books of great loves occur because someone knew what this feels like. They have been there.
Without love sex loses all its power and magic; it becomes mechanical and what you may be experiencing is a mechanical obsession. And you find it endearing and difficult to let go of because there is nothing better available. The aphrodisiac elements of great sex need to include words, promises, romance, lust, feelings, perversity, innocence and devotion to your lover. Without these it really is just sex. IMNTBHO. | |
|
| Why do we women do this to ourselves? - Why Do We Hang on to them?
Posted: 7/11/2009 3:10:39 PM | | A lot of women think they can fix a man so they hold on thinking the guy will come around. The type of guy you are talking about is a hunter once he has his prey he moves on if the prey just lies down. The chase is the best part once caught its so so . Think of fishing you want to catch the same fish twice. | |
|
| Why do we women do this to ourselves? - Why Do We Hang on to them?
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:28:13 PM | Tex, this is so true...
and yes OP, it is a sign of low self esteem. If you had confidence, and self worth, you would not even think about investing your time, your intimate parts knowing full well he only wants you around for that purpose.
You have continuously defended your behaviour, knowing full well what you need to do. You know he will never come around if he hasn't already.
Wake up, you are all grown up. Face reality. He isn't "HIM" | |
|
| Why do we women do this to ourselves? - Why Do We Hang on to them?
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:39:02 PM | The above 2 posts said it best.
OP, reagrdless of how you laugh it off and try to be blase about this, you are still pining. The guy is done with you. To waste another thought on him and hoping that he will see you as you think he should is fanciful and unrealistic.
There are men out there that will want to be with you. Just recognize them. | |
|
| Why do we women do this to ourselves?
Posted: 7/12/2009 10:00:12 PM | OP this topic has been done to death but anyway..it all goes back to wanting what we cant have! also, when someone doesn't want us, and get rejected...we get self conscious and try to show the person that they are wrong for not giving us a chance, and consequently try to prove to ourselves that nothing is wrong with us....generally as people when we get rejected we tend to have low self esteem..maybe it doesn't last too long, but at he time and for a little while we feel like something is wrong with us..
And so..in order to not feel that way about ourselves..we want the person to give us a "chance" so we can prove to them that we are worth getting to know/have a relationship with....and that's the bottom line...so yes it IS a sign of low self esteem. | |
|
| Why do we women do this to ourselves? - Why Do We Hang on to them?
Posted: 7/14/2009 12:13:07 PM | "Have you met that man in shining armour yet?" .... they ask. "Well, I met a guy who likes to have sex with me but he doesn't call me other than for that." If you are one of these women who are that stupid to keep a man like that then you deserve to sit at home and wither away waiting for a friday or saturday night. As for me...I have too much self-confidence and esteem to let someone "USE ME". That's a certain way to loose respect for yourself and for him. Good sex is a product of chemistry and mental stimulation. If he can't stimulate you mind then who the heck needs him. Don't waste your "only" life on some sex-dog who obviously has a barn yard of other girlies to service him. That saying "It's better to have loved and lost" does not pertain to "it's better to have had been used than not used at all!" TIME TO WAKE UP AND FIND A REAL MAN AND DUMP THAT PIECE OF PLOP YOU'RE PINING AWAY FOR. HE'S NOT WORTH YOUR TIME, EFFORT AND USING UP THE MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE WAITING. Think of it this way, he's going to probably be a big huge fat bald guy by the time he's late 40's and then what is sex going to be like. After the sex is gone....and over......and done......what will you have? Nothing.
I'm a strong woman. I don't put up with this sort of nonsense. If any man does not measure up to my standards, does not call me, woo me, put me up on a pedestal and wait for the right time to have sex....then let him blow away. I can pick and choose and so can you. | |
|
| Why do we women do this to ourselves? - Why Do We Hang on to them?
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:21:33 PM | | I know we've all been there. I have. Some of it is having our pride hurt. Some of it is being disappointed and hurt that the person we liked so much just wasn't that interested and whom we know may go on to meet the next girl and will do all the things that we wanted him to do with us. Wow! That was a long sentence. LOL Anoher part is wanting to get out of the dating pool and so we hang on thinking maybe he'll realize that we are great after all. | |
|
| |
| Why do we women do this to ourselves? - Why Do We Hang on to them?
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:39:20 PM | I remember back in my early 20's falling into a rut such as this. One poster mentioned, you want to convince them how wonderful a person u are..and why cant they see the light? Simple, it isnt there for them.
I rem thinking, I can handle these casual weeked get togethers, drunken wild sex and then no contact for anothr week or 2.
After 6 mos, whos crying and questioning him?? Soon to learn he had been seeing someone all along and soon after proposed marriage to her.
OMG The heartache, I dont think I ate for days.
Why wasnt I good enough??? what does she have that I dont??? She has kids? I dont..bleh bleh
Its a pain that cannot be described. It wrecks u as a woman/person/yur esteem and it took me long time to get over that.
I know I am not the kinda gal that can handle FWB and I love myself more than that and know when to stop to avoid the above nightmare.
Please, do yourself a favour. Let him go...for good. | |
|
| Why do we women do this to ourselves? - Why Do We Hang on to them?
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:58:41 PM | We hang on because it is so hard to believe that we could still make such stupid mistakes, picking the wrong person yet again.
So we keep holding on to see if they will actually be the person that we imagined, or just prove to us our pickers are still broken. | |
|
Home
login 
