| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:48:48 PM | | him using the *friends* excuse is bull. if they are real friends, then i'm sure he has other means of staying in touch besides email. he could always call them, see them or text them. peculiar that he uses a dating site to keep in touch with his friends. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:54:30 PM | What difference does it make what he does you still have on your profile that you are here for dating. Damn I can't tolerate double-speak.
Has someone been sampling the pharmaceuticals they sell? Hmmmmmmmmmm? Me thinks so. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:40:52 PM | I have to agree, edencaptwell, that there does come a point, that IF, he cannot connect with hos friends outside of the POF site, then, he has got a real problem.
But, since she knows that he is on the site, then confront the guy with the direct queastion of, ARE they EXCLUSIVE.
IF, HE, cannot give her a STRAIGAHT answer, then she should just plain DUMP his
A S S, and move on. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:37:16 AM | | I am going thru almost the same thing, and I confronted him last night about it, and he said exactly the same thing, about talking to friends, but I am still on also, and I want to get off because I thought I found a really great guy, but I am wrong. He confirmed that to me last night . So I am hurt but I will get over it, and we might remain friends, but to early to tell. I have been dating him since January and I was really starting to get attached, that scared me, but it felt right. For sure if they stay on , then really they are still looking, for what, I don't think that they even know. And men say women are hard to figure out. Good luck ! | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:47:34 AM | OP: I'm confused after reading your profile. You appear to be "looking" (according to the verbiage on your profile) as well.
On a separate note, he is on the prowl. He blocked you for crying out loud. Once you said the relationship is good "for the most part" it is evident you aren't happy (in a healthy relationship).
Sit down with him, and have a heart-to-heart. Decide if you BOTH want to make this relationship work or date others. However, if there are trust issues it may be challenging to start from scratch.
Best,
 | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:55:02 AM | ^^^^ nah don't have a heart to heart. with him.. penis boy is not into you k.... . he is telling you all you need to know... dump his azz.. now..... listen if you met some dip rod here that can't wait to work on your sexual entanglemensts and still needs to howl at full moons let the dawg go.. he ain't worth it ..
it blows my azz away that people on here expend valuable energy that could make what they already have great.. if they got.. "off" this site and worked at .. being .. a couple.. instead of being a couple sitting at a computer terminal playin mind scr-ew.. you make time in life for what you want to achieve.. this site is a nice amusing relief from .. what isn't but if I was in a relationship .. I would be working on it or booting up the bootie call ,,, work is part of a relationship and in the beginning you shouldn't have time for this site .. it should be all hot and bothered buttered.. carmel corn and toffee nuts.. or you got yourself a lazy .. snake.. and lazy snakes is not going to turn the vagina crank case over .. it will clog the engine from firing.. so if you want to keep the spark plugs clean make sure the wires are plugged in right .. kick.. dinko.. to the curb... | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:10:50 AM | I am open to dinner, a meeting at Starbucks, a walk through the park, we can discuss it and decide together what sounds exciting! I've heard the men in Texas are real gentlemen, I hope that is true!!!! (Smile)
Does your ""boyfriend"" know you have that as your Ad for a date here on POF - the Dating Site?
he keeps getting on POF. so do you
I have my profile hidden, and while I haven't taken it down, I am not communicating with anyone. ..
Ummmm.. I found your profile as can Anyone who reads these forums. And you are too communicating with 'anyone' ... lots of anyones in fact!
 You said it was ok to call you niaive. NOT! You must think 'we' are niaive! lol .. this is no more than a trolling cheater thread IMO.
now I'm off to find your boyfriends thread complaining about his g/f who is on POF and yet denies it to him .. 
But am I being played the fool here? ... you seem to be fairly 'aware' (at least of the fact that you are Both playing on a Dating Site. If anyone is being played the fool it appears to me to be your b/f .. and yeah ... a weak attempt to 'convince' some unsuspecting "gentleman/texan" that you're a "damsel in distress" .. lol ..
Gotta call 'em like I see 'em!
.. oh .. and what 'smellsealsthedeal' said .. :applause: | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:52:22 AM | sign up with a different account and name- then contact him with a sweet and sexy mail and see what he will do.If he responds chat for a short time and ask him if he is dating any girl at the moment and how is it going?. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:02:53 AM | | It is quite clear he is still looking. I think deep down you know that as well. He obviously is denying it because he hasn't found anyone else yet, but it is coming. That is guaranteed | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:50:59 AM | | He's a no go-er. Just kick him into touch. Of course he's saying you're "creating drama" cos he doesn't want to be hassled. Either that, or display a really flattering, sexy pic of yourself on this site, or any any other site that your ***hole of a boyfriend is on and see how he likes it.....oh, and don't forget to tell him he's creating drama when he protests! Oh, and if he doesn't protest you know he's already bagged someone. Even better, create a fake profile with a fake pic, and email him to say you live in the same town and is he seeing anyone? | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 9:14:49 AM | | There is something seriousley wrong here hes just using the site to find multiple people in my opinion it is guys like this that ruin online dating sites for the truely decent guys looking for that someone special | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 9:32:09 AM | OP,
In my view, there are games being played on both sides.
Here is my issue, he keeps getting on POF.
As do you.
I have my profile hidden, and while I haven't taken it down, I am not communicating with anyone.
That is not entirely true. While you have your profile hidden from coming up in searches, your profile is clearly visible in the forums. And I noticed in your profile, you're still listed as 'single' and looking for 'dating'... Hmmm....
He discovered that I knew he was getting on, and blocked me!
That was silly of him to do. He might as well have written the word 'Guilty' on his forehead. Email me his number. I want to explain to him that in situations like that, the best defense is a good offense and it would have been wiser for him to accuse you of the same thing right back. Geez... he's a total amateur at this game-playing thing.
Through another friend I know that he is still on here sometimes several times daily.
Yes... spy networks can be really handy when playing games.
He swears up and down that he is only talking to people on a friendship basis, that he doesn't have time to add anyone else to his life, etc.
Well at least he understands the usefulness of denial even in the face of irrefutable evidence. Now all he has to do is perfect his skills at making you think you're crazy for observing reality. Soon he'll be on his way to a promising career as a politician.
But am I being played the fool here? I can't help but feel like he is still looking and will drop me the very moment he finds someone he likes better.
Noooooo... No way. No guy would EVER do that to you because... ummm... errrr... ummm... because you're blond, have kids and are a Good Christian... which means God will protect you... uuhhh... yeah....
I don't want to be untrusting of him, I too have male friends that are purely platonic,
Just like every good Christian girl does...
but I am not searching them out on a dating site either!!!
Yeah... even though your profile says you're single and looking for dating, *I* know the pure and wonderful and completely honourable person you are. When people see your profile, even though you say you're single and dating, they just know that you aren't... because... errrr... ummm... because you're Christian and God is protecting you!
Am I sitting around, keeping my life on hold for this man while he searches for someone he likes better?
No no no... saying one thing and doing another is the basis of EVERY solid long-term relationship. The Catholic Church does this too... and look at how long they've been around. I don't play games at all myself... and look at me now! I'm separated! If I played more emotional games, I might still be together with my wife!
But in case you think your relationship is done like dinner and you break up with him, I suggest you come to Toronto. And while we date, I promise that I will stay on POF and continue to try and meet people. And if I break this promise, I give you permission to break up with me.
But you might want to stay with him because after all, he may end up being a top politician. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 10:24:07 AM | You are correct, she is being played big time! He blocks her so she can't see him on line? She may well want to check numerous other dating sites to see how many others he is signed up on. Happened to me in a relationship years ago and he, who professed great love for me, was quite active on 5 other sites. I would ask him if he was looking he would deny. I did something that really wasn't nice to do but I had to know whether to walk away or not. I made up a phony profile on 3 of those 5 sites and he hit on me within 24 hours on 3 of the sites. I knew it was time to walk away after a two year relationship.
If a man or a woman are in a relationship and your instincts tell you something is not right or you see red flags - don't ignore them, as 9 times out of 10 your instincts are correct. Anyone can say "I love you" - pay heed to what their actions tell you. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 10:32:14 AM | Ask him to show you his recent communication history on POF. If he has nothing to hide, he won't have a problem with that. If he has something to hide, he will. If he refuses, dump him. Respect yourself or he doesn't have a reason to respect you.
HTH,
Gruuve | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:29:01 AM | "sign up with a different account and name- then contact him with a sweet and sexy mail and see what he will do.If he responds chat for a short time and ask him if he is dating any girl at the moment and how is it going?."
Naaaaa, thats playing the same game as he is, which is stupid, take the straight direct approach, ask the guy straight out, of are WE EXCLUSIVE or not.
If he cannot give a STRAIGHT UP answer, then DROP his SORRY A S S right on the SPOT, and MOVE ON.
Nexxxxxxxxxxxxt, to many others in the pond. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:31:58 PM | Do you want to spend rest of your life fretting and worrying like this if remain with this guy?
Cut your losses and find someone who will never make you feel this way.
I would never waste my time or energy on a man like him. Life is too short. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 1:08:17 PM | Your profile says that you are single and that you are here for dating. If you are here just for the forums, your profile should reflect that. As long as you are on and not constantly in the forums and your profile says what it says, what gives you the right to question your boyfriend on what he does on this site? He has as much right to mistrust you as you do with him. Think about it, you are hiding your profile from him.
If he blocked you, was for a reason. If he knows with certainty that you are not on here 'fishing' he has no reason to block you to keep you from seeing when he is on. Not only that, your friends are keeping tabs on him. I have a sneaking suspicion that you are not being honest with him.
Also, always look at the time he is on compared to the time you are on. Does you no good to hide your profile if you have sent him messages on pof because he can still get your profile that way. The hidden feature only applies if they have deleted your messages or the person has seen your profile but not sent you any messages before and now he wants to send you something.
P.S.: Having a 'deleted' party like one of the other posters suggested is foolish. Nothing can prevent him from making another profile and keeping the pics private until he is positive that you didn't do the same thing. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 1:33:54 PM | | Ok! Profile Officially Updated to reflect that I am ONLY on POF for the forums!! I haven't used this site to meet anyone for a very long time and hadn't paid any attention to what the profile said and I had deleted my pics from it a while back. I am simply trying to understand if I am being overly jealous by being bothered about the person I'm dating continuing to get on here on a regular basis. I don't want to be the jealous or controlling girlfriend, but at the same time don't want to put my life on hold while he seeks out someone he likes better! The few times we have talked about it he acts like I am making a big deal out of nothing and then he took me off his favorites list so that I couldn't see when he was on here. He always says he is only talking to people as friends. I have several male friends and they are PURELY PLATONIC so I don't want to be overly judgemental about his "friends" but I tend to feel that if you're on a dating site, you must be looking to date? I do appreciate all the feedback from everyone! | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 1:38:35 PM | Awwww ... sorry OP, but that is the reality of on line dating. Few if any are seldom satisfied. Always searching. Just the way you keep going on line checking your BF he is on line too.
Perhaps if some interesting handsome man writes you you might right back and so the circle goes on and on.
Good luck
OMO | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 1:55:22 PM | | I'm here for the forums and I email a few online friends on occasion. But that does not mean I am cheating, looking to hook up or lying to an SO. I think, if you do not trust this guy and put up with a buttload of Ex GF drama is it really worth it? Why would you choose to be in a relationship that causes so much stress? | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:22:14 PM | Hello,
My sister has just gone through a similar scene wtih her boyfriend. He contacted our friend, who lives in a different town, not knowing she was my sisters friend from uni. The friend and the boyfriend chatted and emailed for a while and eventually the recognised the picture of him from one my sister had posted on a networking site a few months back. She confirmed the details of who he was and was forced to tell my sister the bad news that he claimed he was single and was looking to meet her. My sister's heart was crushed and I've been helping pick up the pieces, as best I can. I had my doubts about him, but i never wanted to be right. I think the lesson here is that if someone is openly chatting to members of the other sex on a dating site, unless through forums ect, it's not a good sign. Don't waste your time and learn your lesson now not later, before you can get really hurt. If you were enough for him, he wouldn't need to be on POF in the first place! | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:25:28 PM | No judgements, no finger pointing, just 2 bits of advice hun .....
1 - if you gotta ask ... you already know the answer
&
2 - follow your gut instinct
Be strong n face up to what you already know inside, good luck. | |
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