| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:31:34 PM | Seems to me he is up to something. Cause if only thing he was doing was talking to friends and maybe go on forumns then he wouldn't of blocked you and would let you see his history.
I think in this case you have the right to be somewhat untrusting of him. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:38:03 PM | | Why do we need to ask others for the answer we already have in our grasp. Anyone on a dating site definitely is not solely into one specific person. They are exploring their options. Too many red flags... | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:47:55 PM | Zeekstone......P.I.M.A.
{And I noticed in your profile, you're still listed as 'single' and looking for 'dating'... Hmmm....} Double hmmmm and.....I'm just wondering....how hard is it for one to change their status anyway? Maybe it takes over a year to kick in?
{it would have been wiser for him to accuse you of the same thing right back. Geez... he's a total amateur at this game-playing thing.} {Well at least he understands the usefulness of denial even in the face of irrefutable evidence. Now all he has to do is perfect his skills at making you think you're crazy for observing reality.} Grrrr I hate that when that happens. Can you please expain to me why the hell you guys do that shyt....it's so stupid and I can see right through it now...however it took some experience?
{saying one thing and doing another is the basis of EVERY solid long-term relationship. The Catholic Church does this too... and look at how long they've been around. } Ut oh...what happened to make you anti Catholic? I hope a priest didn't touch you inappropriately....LOL And what does her being catholic have to do with her relationship? Is it because god loving people are supposed to be honest and live by all the rules of the bible? Really don't answer that I get you.....but you can explain saying "one thing and doing another is the basis of every solid long-term relationship". How sad and I really hope that isn't true in "every" case .
{But in case you think your relationship is done like dinner and you break up with him, I suggest you come to Toronto. And while we date, I promise that I will stay on POF and continue to try and meet people. And if I break this promise, I give you permission to break up with me.} Hahaahaahahaha If you promise me the same thing and I will be forever yours!!! Every womans dream man!!! Joking Are we so sure he's playing the looking for better game? And that was not a very nice thing to say to her.
Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back?? Interesting title don't you think? she has proven she knows he is still on...I mean he blocked her at one point. so how can he continue to do it behind her back...oh right...she tricked him so he doesn't know she knows you know what I mean? | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:50:22 PM | Oh paaaalease stay together.
Your both coming across like little kids trying to get one over on the other. Even if it's who's right about this situation. It's like some kind of game that keeps the drama going.
I bet other things are now somehow being connected to it too. That way it can be discussed at just about anytime of the day or night.
So please stay together and keep that drama contained between the two of you.
It will keep it from spreading to at least 2 other people in the dating pool.
You've got as many excuses as he does from what I've read. I don't buy the multiple profile is to keep up on him. I don't buy that he blocked you for no reason at all.
You've been together for a year and yet you are looking for other people to tell you what he's doing. Boooogus. Your set up, your version. Booogus. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:56:24 PM | I agree with justinx and honeyangel1985: You should have BOTH deleted your profiles.
The fact that you still have yours up is saying something – that you are both keeping your options open. He is going further with communicating with people but you are not. I guess the habit of looking still can stay even though we think we have the right person. We get so good at looking that we continue to do so even when are with someone.
I wonder if someone has you blocked if that prevents you from adding him as a favorite. When you have someone as a favorite, you are able to see the last time the other person was on line.
No one said much about the stalker ex-girlfriend. Was this communication with his ex early on in your relationship or is it continuing? Are you certain that he hasn’t done anything to encourage his ex’s communication with him?
If your bf friends are important to him he could communicate through email or IM and by pass other than through POF. (Reminds me of the guys that say that they are reading Playboy for the articles.)
Trust is crucial for a relationship if you can’t trust the person, it’s a sign that the relationship is not going to last. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:42:37 AM |
{it would have been wiser for him to accuse you of the same thing right back. Geez... he's a total amateur at this game-playing thing.} {Well at least he understands the usefulness of denial even in the face of irrefutable evidence. Now all he has to do is perfect his skills at making you think you're crazy for observing reality.} Grrrr I hate that when that happens. Can you please expain to me why the hell you guys do that shyt....it's so stupid and I can see right through it now...however it took some experience?
Sadly the answer to why some guys do that is because it actually works on certain types of women.
Sad but true. Observed it first hand. It seems to me that some girls subconsciously want a guy that sh1ts on them.
For all we know, she sticks with him because he gives her the emotional and physical spanky along with the hanky panky that she craves.
{saying one thing and doing another is the basis of EVERY solid long-term relationship. The Catholic Church does this too... and look at how long they've been around. } Ut oh...what happened to make you anti Catholic? I hope a priest didn't touch you inappropriately....LOL And what does her being catholic have to do with her relationship? Is it because god loving people are supposed to be honest and live by all the rules of the bible? Really don't answer that I get you.....but you can explain saying "one thing and doing another is the basis of every solid long-term relationship". How sad and I really hope that isn't true in "every" case .
Well it's just an example that popped in my head. I'm not anti-Catholic per se. But because I used to be Catholic, I'm familiar with some of the more hypocritical aspects of that faith. Not saying it's all bad though...
As for 'God-loving' people following their own rules... well yeah. Now I'm not talking about some of the more absurd and out of date rules like this guy did:
http://www.amazon.com/o/ASIN/0743291476/179-5397483-0546516?SubscriptionId=0PZ7TM66EXQCXFVTMTR2
But I am talking about the more significant ones like tossing rather than protecting priests that have abused young boys. No, I wasn't one of them. Don't need to be to be outraged over some of the details of court cases I've read about.
The big issue isn't whether or not incidents will happen... but how the individual/organization reacts when it does. Do they do they try to fix the problem or try to cover it up? Actions speak louder than words.
Are we so sure he's playing the looking for better game?
I don't think he is. When I hit on him, he turned me down.
Actually... that's a lie... sadly OP never gave me his contact so that I could completely corrup--- whoops... I mean 'provide him guidance'...
And that was not a very nice thing to say to her.
Not necessarily... she might be one of these people who's a sucker for punishment... in which case she's loving what I'm saying.
But if she doesn't like it... Tough Bananas...
she tricked him so he doesn't know she knows you know what I mean?
I think I do know that you know that OP knows what her boyfriend knows what OP means by what you mean and what I mean. But this whole thread could just be more game playing on OP's part for her BF to see as an indirect way of saying "I just want you to know that I know that you know... and that I know... " | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:34:16 AM | This has happened to me before too. If you were both serious about the relationship you are in, you would both delete your profiles. Clearly there is something telling you...and him, that you are not right for each other. Someone else already said, that if he was comunicating with friends there other places to do that. Like MSN messenger or even Facebook. Same goes for you too.
End it now and get it over with it...move on...say goodbye to him. It will never ever work. You both have trust issues and maybe you both just need to be single for a while to get over that. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/10/2009 11:27:26 AM | | he is obviously a liar and wants to make sure that he still wants you and if you stick around and wait for him then he is happy with that. i would tell you to lose him, cuz i've been there and i'm not going to be anyones 2nd choice i'm worth more than that and so are you!!!! | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/10/2009 5:03:39 PM | I feel for you sister. I went through the same thing with my boyfriend.
One problem with the whole "online" thing is that it can be used to fuel our worst fears we may have about our prospective partners.
The why's of his being online are not important. You can drive yourself nuts tring to figure out his motive so don't even entertain his reasons.
If it really bothers you simply tell him, an effective way to state this is "l will not tolorate your behavior." Now....the hard part...cut him loose. It may be difficult but it may be the only way to show him that you are serious. Either it gets his attention or he lets you slip away. Of course you will also need to keep off line (hidden profile or not)
As hard as it maybe don't check on him. Give it a couple weeks chances are you will re-evaluate your situation and you may feel that you would be better off without him relationships in the early stages usually come with a nice pair of rose colored glasses. The only way see things clearly is to take a step back.
IF you want it to work with him you will just have to have faith in him and learn to trust. Nobody likes to feel like they have been played you are not being naieve . Good luck to you. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/10/2009 11:01:45 PM | >He's still shopping.
of course he is. as is the OP or she would have deleted/radically edited her profile as soon as she felt committed to him.
seems to me the two deserve each other *shrug* | |
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gcdeb
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Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 86 | |
| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/11/2009 1:35:04 AM | It's really simple.
You want someone who won't hang out on dating sites while they are in a relationship with you.
He wants someone who won't care that he hangs out on dating sites, and who won't mind that he is secretive about it.
You both want different things. You are not a match. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/11/2009 5:04:53 AM | offer an open discussion, no holes-barred... but you also have to make that commitment on your side too! ask him if he wants to date other people and search yourself and ask yourself the same question. Is it something you could live with? ask yourself something very hard: are you keeping it interesting for him and he to you?
if there is a trust breakdown at any level: IT WILL ONLY RESULT IN DISASTER.... never heard of this working itself out EVER. Please remember that before blindly going the path you are going. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:54:56 AM | there is no staying on a dating site and being in a relationship. if you want to use the forums and have a healthy relationship then he would be part of the profile and have the password.
it would not be your profile. no games in relationships.
very unhealthy. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:04:29 AM | | I had a gf whos bf was doing this to her, believe me, he is searching for someone he thinks will be better then you. He is keeping you on the back burner, keeping you around for now till he replaces you with someone new. If you truly love someone, why would you feel the need to keep looking? I say, put your profile back up and tell the bf that your just talking to friends. I bet he wont like it one bit because he knows what he is doing is wrong. Maybe a little wakeup call is just what he needs to see if he is willing to lose you. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:30:03 AM |
Why do we need to ask others for the answer we already have in our grasp.
Great question, Ycrem we do that because we don’t want to accept the answer that our intuition is telling us. | |
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| Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back??
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:30:20 AM | i am dating someone. and i obivously get on. yes i get on to talk to friends as i am in oregon and most of my friends are in baton rouge. also i get on to read and participate in the forums, obivously. please do not read things into it that are not there. i am very open with my gf about reading the forums and talkin to my friends.
isnt really iming through yahoo or texting or calling someone the same thing. if you have a good realtionship you have nothing to worry bout. | |
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