| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:57:37 PM | girlforever,
So you are a creative individual that feels restrianed by convension. I feel the same way and to find anyone that feels that way is difficult. I know. I am battling with the same, syndrom or whatever. Have you had your IQ checked? May sound wierd to ask that but it has been a blessing and a curse to have a high IQ.
That is thinking and ananlyzing everything to the core before it happens, then continue to think and analyze what could happen before and after. Thinking of answers before the question is raised! It's a tough road...or..are you just looking for a fancy?
mahgninnuc | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:17:31 PM |
think about it. Your place, your independence. Not dating others, but your own home, time table. And when you get together with your long distance boyfriend, it's something to look forward to as it is not an everyday thing. Atleast initially, this is so appealing to me. I have been single and it would take some time to get used to being around someone every day and night I enjoy my personal space because I am a very creative person and need quiet to write, work on graphic art. So, if he has his creativity, hobbies, thats GREAT! But, ideally, long distance is what I would love, and I would relocate after a year of this.
oh I agree so much....my girlfriend, my love, lives long distance away from me, about 5000 miles I guess, and I wouldn´t want it any other way at the moment..I know the feeling to decide the colour on the wall, what I put in my cooking pot every day or just where I am going without any permission or any bad feeling. But on the other hand I would love to have her around for the good times, the very special moments...a long distance can be a pain in the ass if you want or need her near you...believe me...but at least for the next years to come I would alway decide for the indipendence. My love knows my heart belongs to her and that will alway be that way. | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:00:13 PM | lots of great posts, if only I knew how to post with a quote! nevertheless, lots of us out there, huh. By the way, if we meet, who knows right, i would move there.
to the woman who posted that she is meeting her "guy" for the first time in september and that he is staying with her for three months, good luck to you. i mean it. thats the hard thing...meeting and then all at once, together day and night. in my situation, i would gladly travel there. but im nervous! i still wish he would make the first trip.
i still believe many of us can find a partner from this mode of communication. and there does have to be a willingness to relocate.
i have had relationships that start very fast and intense with high excitement and chemistry. after a few months, we realize it wont work.
when youre talking to someone on the phone, things can get personal, as opposed to dating. what i mean to say is: in time, you unveil your authentic self. if it sustains time, then meeting...and if youre both mature, stands to reason it would work in person too. i have spoken to many nice people who married from meeting initially on the internet.
dating face to face is a different story. thats fun, sure. but dating for dating's sake is,,all i can say, its different from this mode of communication with someone you feel you connect with. a confidante if nothing else. | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/11/2009 12:39:19 PM |
Especially since you say you are willing to relocate
Exactly and thank you for reading my post! I figure in the beginning, its ok, even for up to one year, takes time to get accustomed to each other, and in the interim, lots of phone contact, webcam chats, you see each other in your home environments, etc.
Bottom line is this: I would move if it came to that. | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/11/2009 10:35:27 PM | Long distance relationships remove geography from the limits of who's out there to meet. Living in a remote town with few singles its pretty much what I have to do.
Have had LDRs in the past where we had to fly to meet each other and a number of LDRs where it was a 2 to 5 hour drive. Certainly not conveninet, but, as pointed out more focused while we were together.
And, it IS nice when the lady comes here to visit and I can show her around the grandure of the Canyonlands. Not like we get bored for nothing to do. | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/30/2009 12:44:29 PM | I just can't get into long distance dating - my job requires long hours and weekend work, plus I own a home, have pets, a large yard, and lots of friends in the neighborhood. I only live 3 miles from my job so I am not used to driving an hour for anything.
I know myself and when I get home on Friday night at 6:30 from work I want to get some beer, some chinese food and visit my friends or stay at home. If I had a date we could chill at each other's home but go home in the morning to take care of our respective homes and pets and then meet again later in the day or evening on Saturday. Plus it is nice if you feel like it to get together for dinner during the week.
Owning a home takes up tons of time as well as having pets and friends. All these things are very important to me so I don't mind the upkeep but they definitely require upkeep !
Also, I don't like someone being at my house all weekend or I at theirs. Guess my upkeep at this age is a little bit more with medicine, night creams, plus I need more rest that I used to at age 50 than I did at 25.
Guess it is all about preferences. My preference is to find someone nice who lives within 20 miles of me. Columbia is a pretty good sized city so I'm hopeful. | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:42:04 PM | | I feel the same way as you Columbia, which is why even a 1-2 hour drive is difficult, let alone thousands of miles, at this point in my life. For others who are in different situations who can appreciate the advantages (which I fail to see), who invest their time and emotions on anyone whom they can't get together with very often and have to spend money traveling in order to see, or spend whole weekends together at the outset, I wish them well, just not for me. | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:52:46 PM | Why even bother with a long distance relationship if you want to have "commitment without frequency or obligation?"
Get yourself a blow up doll of the opposite sex, or same sex if you're a homosexual, and when you want some intimacy and companionship, drag it out of the closet and get the air pump going. When you're finished, it's back into the closet until you're once again in the mood!
Sounds like its everything a long distance relationship is, and even more. Plus you dont even have to remember holidays or special occasions | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:16:45 PM | I did the long distance relationship thing once already: Atlanta to Seattle. In our situation we knew each other well for a couple of years before we were separated. Although we eventually married, 5 years later, there was a period where we did drift apart - the distance was one factor. That was a quarter century ago.
I'm ambivalent now-a-days. Distance isn't as far as it was - air travel IS a pain in the tush - but cheaper. I have a better vehicle now. But driving for hours is no longer the joy it use to be.
If it were to happen again, there would have to be a well developed relationship established before hand. I think the physical intimacy of being together is a requisite to establish something tangible.
TK
{ya know, something sweet like a BMW Z4 would make that travel a bit more tolerable} | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:08:17 PM | Rather the OP moving to Florida than me, the first hurricaine will teach her a lesson not soon to be forgotten, a week two with no electricity, running water, stove or fridge, hot as hello, no wind, house half wrecked and everything wet.
The beach is great till it's in your living room and your pool is full of gators  | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:28:18 PM | I just finished a 3.5 year LDR. We were 7 hours apart by car, 2 by air. I even got a job at an airline so we could fly back and forth for a few bucks a flight. Worked absolutely great for the whole time and we had a blast. We were independent for a couple of weeks and by that time, getting together was very fun (hot) every single time. Her 70 year old mom even said we had the 'perfect deal' of a relationship lol.
But, on the downside, it was tiring having to communicate by phone, text and email so much. Some days you just want to talk in person but we didnt get that option very often. And we had talked about 'who is going to move?' for almost the whole time. In the end, we realized that as much as we love each other, both of us have very good reasons for wanting to stay where we are and neither wanted to move bad enough to pack up all our stuff and leave home. So, we broke up.
Really, I think she was the right person at the wrong time, cause in about 8 years, she'd be free to move and it would have worked out great. But who knows if either of us will be around that long to wait 8 years? Life is short.
All in all though, that LDR was the best thing that ever happened to me. | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:56:24 PM | | I would possibly consider a LDR relationship. I do not consider a 2 hour drive a LDR, but some men seem to think an hour drive is too far to drive to see someone. I would prefer to date someone who lives near me, or who lives in the same state as I do, since I seek a serious long term relationship. I have 8 years left to work until I hopefully can retire, and finding a job if I needed to would be easier if I worked in public schools in the same state. | |
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| Over 45 and Why I would love a long distance relationship at least at first
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:48:31 PM | Long distance relationship? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
what I've learned by my own experience is with long distance relationships is
A) they could very well be married and that's why they are so WILLING to travel a great distance to meet. Harder to get busted in another town. The farther the better.
B) They have no luck in their neck of the woods and there is probably a good reason for that. | |
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