| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:39:41 AM | ^^All seven of them are members of POF 
But as for the theory:
In fact, I believe there are many people out there that are suitable for you
Really? Where do I go to register? Missing persons?
I have not found ONE. | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:54:23 AM | Actually there is NOT.
There is someone not for everyone, but only for those that dare try.
All else, all those living in pain avoidance, that don't want to get hurt, that don't take a chance. Will not find someone. | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:00:47 AM | In regards to:
There is someone not for everyone, but only for those that dare try.
What say the people who spend their lives trying, but die alone doing so? | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:03:30 AM | I fall in to the "there's someone for everyone" camp. The only thing that can and will stop a person from finding a suitable companion is desire and availability. Those "nuns and priests" who have devoted themselves to God HAVE found their suitable companion -- GOD, which is why they wear a wedding ring: to signify their 'marriage.'
Other than that the only way you need remain single is based on your attitude: if you set your 'bar' so high that none can measure up, or you only see yourself as single.
TK
{In fact, I believe there is actually someone out there even for me. Pray for her} | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:20:44 AM | Those "nuns and priests" who have devoted themselves to God HAVE found their suitable companion -- GOD,
Does religion and God's apply? God only comes into the equation if you believe in him?
LOL@manforrent | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:52:18 AM |
Really? Where do I go to register? Missing persons?
I have not found ONE.
Keep trying.
Everyone does not have success at the same time. Some people marry their high school sweethearts and then some people don't get married for their first time until they are in their 40s or 50s.
Your life is not a contest against other people. What matters is that you do your personal best and don't give up.
If you keep trying you might meet the one for you. The next person you meet may be the one for you or you may have to meet hundred more. What is certain is that if you don't try, you will not find that person.
But I do believe that once you find that person for you, you will realize that all the effort you spent in trying to find that person was worth it. | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 11:05:48 AM |
Where did this theory emerge from?
The need to tell people what they want to hear to make them feel better in a way that can't be questioned based on time. Because it can't really be proved wrong until someone dies or is on their death bead.
Is it a mere "encouragement" phrase used by others to build up the hopes of their friends in despair?
Yes.
Is it also a belief system for those who are the ones in despair?
Can be.
How can this theory be proved correct?
By talking to people that died never having anyone in their life.
"There is someone for everyone".
Makes no mention of the type of relationship they will have with that someone. | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 11:29:21 AM | Well say, it really cannot be proven correct. However, there are things that support it's incorrectivty (word?)
using some algebra, it can more likely be proved wrng than right.
And please do not ask me to explain this algebra right now, it's 430am. | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 11:59:53 AM | I think there may be someone for everyone.
But I think its also possible that no matter how hard
you try...you might never find that someone.
For all I know my someone is in England or France
or who's to say they didn't already die?
I think we hang onto that saying because to let go of it
for some would be like tumbling into an abyss.
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:06:02 PM | I think there is someone for most people. I think people sometimes have unreasonable expectations and that they pass on people because they don't measure up to some kind preconceived image in their mind of the perfect woman or man. I'm not saying that people shouldn't have standards, but that they should re-examine their perceived "ideal" is in a man/woman. Of course, there are some people that just aren't suited to being part of a couple and that's fine, but those that just give up should think about what they are looking for in their mate.
Oh, and yeah, that someone may not reside in your geographic, either. | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:08:46 PM | | Sure, why not. The world is a big place and there is only so much variation amongst its inhabitants. How unique can a person possibly be that no-one out there matches them? Finding that match is another matter, of course. And I would guess that some people really won't be able to get along with anyone and that can be a problem of course. Even if someone matches you and you encounter them, you have to be not entirely closed off the the prospect of being with them... | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:19:18 PM | Have to put in my two cents:
I believe that there is someone for everyone. But as the saying goes, some come in for a season, a reason or a lifetime. Keep looking! and Believe! It may be "fairy tale-ish" but I know that both my husbands had come into my life for the reasons that they did, one to procreate and the other to get me on the path to healing. Both for seasons and reasons. Now I am looking for the rest of my lifetime. I know he is out there somewhere. I just don't plan on giving up.
Check your attitudes at the door boys, you are what is keeping the love of your life from your door. I will not settle anymore and so my standards are a bit high, and if someone came to me with the feeling that there was not anyone or that special someone for them, then what the heck am I doing with them? I want and will get the forever love that I am looking for. | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:25:32 PM | Check your attitudes at the door boys, you are what is keeping the love of your life from your door
Hey, ignore her,she knows "everything"and is probably why so many men turn to online porn..
She's just basing all of us on her two husbands experience. | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 4:28:00 PM | Catali75 wrote:
Well say, it really cannot be proven correct. However, there are things that support it's incorrectivty (word?)
using some algebra, it can more likely be proved wrng than right.
And please do not ask me to explain this algebra right now, it's 430am.
Now, now, C75, you know you cannot prove a negative. You can only prove the likelihood or possibility, whether small or large, of an occurance.
TK
{And it's 1729 here, right now, and I'm hungry} | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 4:48:31 PM | I think it's a platitude that people use to encourage others to not give up.
That said, though, I do think there are matches for most people. None of us are that unique that we wouldn't be able to find somebody to live a happy life with. I keep reading how men on pof keep saying that the women's profiles are so similar, "they're all the same"... and I'm assuming women say the same thing about the guy's... so, seeing as we are all pretty much clones, once we find someone we are attracted to, game over.
There are some very unique characters though who probably have a harder time finding a mate... but even then... keep looking, keep your standards realistic, and eventually, it should happen. It's a matter of odds, isn't it? The more you go out, the more people you meet, the odds go up.
Right? Quick, someone tell me a platitude to make me feel better.
 | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:52:40 PM | The thing is, my standards aren't anything exceptional...they are extremely realistic, yet I struggle. I've been single way too long (all my life) to start wondering if there REALLY is someone for me.
and mostly I agree with Birdie. | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:06:59 PM | Statistically some men are guaranteed to never meet someone.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love-shyness
It doesn't help that the social norms stack the deck against a man who does not, for any reason, *actively* pursue a romantic interest.
Which is sort of strange considering the value placed on equality between the sexes. There might be a reason why women here have (have had) bad dates, and I'm willing to wager that those who do are rarely the initiators of the contact leading to said terribad dates.
Of course the door swings both ways, but if you're not finding what you're looking for from people who initiate the contact, maybe it might be worth striking up a conversation with people who interest you.
This nonsense has been brought to you by the letters D. U. and R. | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:00:57 PM | I think that there is someone for everyone.
However...I don't think it's gonna happen online folks. Physical chemistry doesn't pop out of the computer screen ordinarily. You have to get your butt out there and take some chances.
There was a good post that mentioned that in reality most of us are very much alike....we work, we eat, we seek entertainment and friendship...etc.,etc., and in fact even the barriers of race and class mean nothing in the face of love.
I think that WORRY about this matter is a soul killer. And the more you worry and trip the less attractive you're gonna be. And this is coming from an expert!
Find some passion in your life. If your job sucks change your job or start a new hobby that blows your dress up. Make some moves. Take more chances in public. Chat people up at the supermarket, whatever. Get out there and mingle.
Also...and this is a spiritual truth...start doing the inner work. TRY to be positive and kind. Sure, the a**holes make it hard but TRY anyway. If you're bitter nobody wants to be around you. Small wonder that some folks on the forum can't get a date; they're oozing anger and resentment. When you are kind to others, even the jerks, it gives you a sense of equanimity that is very appealing. I'm not always above it all, I do get pissed off, but the less I allow people to push my buttons the more attractive I am as a person.
Have you ever met one of those sunny people who always smiles and never has an unkind word for anyone? Become that person. The more relaxed you are with yourself, the more relaxed others will be with you. It's a matter of self acceptance. If you become love in action then EVERYBODY is gonna love you and you'll have your choice of mates. | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:17:29 PM | Ive been single since 2003 also. Several weeks ago I had a visit with a doctor that I havent seen since after my husband's death in 2003. The first thing he asked is if I was remarried. I replied "No". He told me that in his years of practice that he has noticed a trend... If you do not remarry within 2-3 years of a long term marriage or the death of your spouse, you probaly never will. He said the odds of staying single go up with each year after that.
I thanked him for the "curse". :-) | |
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| The Someone for Everyone Theory
Posted: 7/13/2009 3:19:57 AM | As I approach my 40s, I acknowledge that I used to believe this while in my 20s-early part of 30s. I had relationships that ended, periods of dating, alone time, etc
Now, I feel the ideal for me would be to have a best friend I actually like being with and feel at home with. When people used to say "there is someone out there for you. You just didnt meet him yet." I cringed as most singles do. They mean well, I suppose. But, dont you think that with the emerging popularity of "single-girl fiction" and other topical issues help to show that being single is not a curse! I feel better being single than being in a bad marriage. I enjoy my freedom. In early centuries, women needed to be married in society. There were practical reasons. Now, thank goodness in our country, we can be single women living alone. Think of all of the women in some other countries who fear being attacked or kidnapped by men to be forced to marry them. The inner romantic in me wants to be there is someone for me. A lid to fit my pot! | |
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