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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/10/2009 5:06:58 PM | Sarah, I am not sure what you mean
People really are bitter on this forum.
There have been a few sour pusses, however the other have encouraged the OP, and suggested that yes women have changed, now men are having to figure out where their NEW place is. Which I can imagine is pretty difficult.
As I stated before, men are used to being the provider, the guy who protects the family, and the one that fixes things... Now that women are more independent, are resourceful, educated, and just not looking to be cared for, playing the little wife role that gives constant accolades to the guy, men are confused as what exactly women want.
I agree that the OP needs to take control of his own happiness, and to learn to be a happy guy, with or without a partner, which is actually kind of hard to do for some people...
Today women want different things then women of 30 plus years back, so finding the place that works with a particular woman takes some getting used to.
I think the OP will find someone, however he might have to do some internal attitude changing as to what role he plays in a womans life...
OP, there still are women who love to spend a lot of quality time with a partner... I know I do, and sometimes it is just him playing his computer games while I do forums...
We have rough spots, because there is always adjusting to what the other persons wants and needs are, but we still have as much love and devotion to each other, as we did (well even more) when we met... | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/11/2009 3:11:03 AM | I am so sick of women charging me up only to reverse the current, I could understand if I changed during the course of a relationship but I dont.
your frustration is completely understandable. i don't know why this is happening to you, but there is an underlying reason for it that only you can discover and change. which is the same thing i always tell everybody else. everyone has had experience with frustrating relationships, but when it becomes a chronic pattern well then that's something or somebody sorta trying to get your attention.
yep there are a lot of really shallow women out there who would love to play with you for wherever that might lead just for their own temporary entertainment, but that doesn't mean your life has to be filled with an endless string of them. if you keep picking women like that, your picker is broken that's all.
i think it would be better in the long run if you took a little break from dating rather than to just continue setting yourself up for more frustration. or, if you're going to date somebody, don't keep doing what you've always done which is to let them charge you up. don't let them do it. hold back and wait. maybe you're just riding faster than you can see through the fog. because somebody who is sincerely interested in you as a person isn't going to get bored and tune out when they figure out they can't just "charge you up" to take a little bit of juice or whatever else they want from you and not give a damn thing back. yes, believe it or not, we're not all psychic vampires. ;)
speaking of riding, the pic with you next to the motorcycle has just a little bit of a smile going on and it's so much nicer than all the others. :) | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/11/2009 7:22:44 AM | | you have been dating the wrong women...my favorite is "your really a nice guy, but I want to be friends"...I found myself single after 15 years of marriage...so being single felt very strange because for that 15 years I was faithful to my ex...I really do feel your pain, because i am a "nice" guy too and feel that women have taken advantage of my good nature and gentlemanly approach, holding the door, picking up the CHECK...but the right one will come along...it's really like finding a needle in a haystack...I have met a few that I thought were my golden needle...but so far it has not worked out, never stop trying...there are good people in the world but it can be difficult to find them... | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:54:52 AM | One thing I've realized after many experiences is that everyone (men and women) come with an 'Agenda'. Before getting involved you have to ask yourself what they're looking for with me? Very few people these days have a pure heart, with a pure agenda in place. It's like they're holding a frame and, seeing who will 'fit in' to the picture they have in their mind.
They're are honest men and women and vice versa. I think references to the Bible and Greek Mythology aren't your best reference points to use. Women do NOT see themselves as made of Man's rib (this is an old Middle Eastern philosophy) and we ALL know how women are viewed in those countries!
Keep your chin up and if you're lucky you'll find one of the few good women left! | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:45:09 PM | well I feel it should not be this hard, I mean dating was sooooooo easier in my teens and early 20's. now its like torcher.
and yes there are things I like to do but I find I am happiest when I am in a relationship, I hate dating with a passion, its nerve wracking and painfull, I love the stability of a steady relationship( and the lowered chance of STD's).
yes I like hanging out with my friends but its not the same rush as laying down watching a movie with someone I care about. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:56:48 PM | mortalez typed...
well I feel it should not be this hard, I mean dating was sooooooo easier in my teens and early 20's. now its like torcher.
Exactly. It's a torcher whether you are male or female and it only gets harder as you get older. People seem to hang onto more baggage. It's harder to meet new people and almost impossible to find one with whom you feel some attraction, genuinely like, and are compatible. I don't think this is limited to men, but applies to both genders.
You are still young and have plenty of time. You will meet someone one day who is absolutely perfect for you! :) | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:03:07 PM | Hatred comes from anger which comes from pain or threat. You would need to look to see what is causing you pain or is threatening you, in order to understand where the hatred starts. Common sources of pain include rejection, abuse and frustration. The implicit threat in difficulty establishing relationships is the prospect of living a life without love.
Rather than hate women, think about what it takes to offer what women like and that they need to feel happy, loved and encouraged in matters of the heart. Get better at loving women and you'll make yourself that much easier to love. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:48:35 PM | Loving women has never been my problem.
just every rejection knocks a piece of the love away. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/12/2009 11:47:33 AM |
well I feel it should not be this hard, I mean dating was sooooooo easier in my teens and early 20's. now its like torture.
and yes there are things I like to do but I find I am happiest when I am in a relationship, I hate dating with a passion, its nerve wracking and painfull, I love the stability of a steady relationship( and the lowered chance of STD's).
yes I like hanging out with my friends but its not the same rush as laying down watching a movie with someone I care about.
Loving women has never been my problem.
just every rejection knocks a piece of the love away.
OP, we women get the same thing, AND feel that way as well. Some get bitter, so learn to find love within, and then we find someone that loves us.
At 44, it is hell in the dating world, it is hell with how quick people get their panties in a bind, and are ready to run, because they don't see any part they play in making the relationship rough.
When you were younger, people didn't have their expectations set in stone as to WHAT a relationship is supposed to be like. They dated in school, life was either a lot of school, kids to early, or a lot of partying. Getting together was all good, because there wasn't the internet for people in the 20's age bracket,that had the ability to shop over several hundred different guys.
Get mad, bent disenchanted, so they jump on a web site, and the person is history.
I know how it goes; heck after a year my SO had a hissy fit over something small (ok he thought it was the end of the world, and decided listening wasn't part of the deal) , and was ready to toss everything out the window. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to listen, he was just ticked.
Life to me is about communication, shades of gray when things are stressed, however to him, and to the rest of the world things are black and white, which if that is true, people aren't willing to meet each other half way. They aren't willing to sit down and find a compromise when things are tough, get mad, and toss things out the window, then they run, because that is easier. With the net, they figure the next person is a couple clicks away, and they cycle starts all over again.
Sighhhhh, people aren't the way they used to be, they don't seem to try and put 100% in... They believe it is 50\50, which isn't even passing on a grading scale... For those who put 100% in, it is painful, because 50% is only half of what the other is putting in.
Sighhhh, I guess we patched things up, but a pattern of distrust starts, and the walls go back up, resentment for trusting someone for a length of time, frustration because we were willing to stay and work on things like couples used to do.
It is hard when we have to take the rose colored glasses off, and see the world as it is, with people more selfish, and self centered. Not seeing people as individuals to grow together, while maintaining their own unique person at the same time...
Yeah, rejection knocks a piece away every time, then a hardened scar forms. Even with you are with a person, and they reject you because of being human, and not listening, not communicating, not find a common ground... | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/12/2009 12:32:52 PM |
piss in your Wheaties. '
that's classic..
BTW what happen to this guys manhood? it's sounds like a women ripped his heart out and smashed it to itty bitty pieces. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/12/2009 2:21:38 PM | I know you may feel extreme pain as well as rejection yet there has been allot of things I have learned though man this past few years. Women are mean as well as savage yet you cannot just put the blame or point the finger at them as we as men do just as much damage as well as harm to them at times too.
Most women I feel these days feel trapped themselves unsure of as to what they really should do with most situations we as men bring forth to them. The best thing to do that I have learned is to not push yourself onto any woman out there just be as casual as you can in your conversation.
I am sure your frustrations are in due to you sending all these messages to them they send you a few messages back and forth then things just up and seem to stop. I don't know about you but this has been happening to me allot yet I don't see this as being a bad thing at all I actually in my eyes see it as being a blessing.
Another thing I have seen with being here is that allot of women just up and judge you right away by just looking at some pictures hey even POF admits it yet that is mainly why I have my profile the way it is as well as the picture I have up.
See I only look for people who want to take an interest in me for who I am and not for what they just see on the outside as I feel that is one of the most wrong things that any person could do yet allot of people do that here.
A good friend of mine approached me the one day when I was in school I felt the same way as you have been feeling. I was trying really hard to find a girl to be happy with yet in true reality it really shouldn't work that way at all.
He said to me man get over here he said I see you are really pouring yourself out to these girls we know. I nodded in agreement he said man I have learned something really big about women. I was like well what was that. He said man women are like butterflies some will come flying your way to only fly off once again. He said yet I learned if you are not looking for them that is when they all seem to want to come flying your way.
He said one will eventually fly your way and she wont want to fly off again so he said to me stop looking. Two months after that in school of following with what he had told me like four of those girls started flying over my way.
Only one made it very clear to me that she wanted me bad thing was I could see one problem with the situation I was faced with. We were at a party and she was very drunk and wouldn't stop grabbing at me yet I gave her all the praise she deserved at the time yet I never did anything with her at all.
That next morning I talked with her about it and of course we went our separate ways so even her she wasn't made to be. Most men though would have taken that opportunity and ran with it yet I never did nor to this day will I ever do anything with any woman out there while she is under the influence of alcohol unless of course I have been dating her for a good couple months.
Man dont get all tied up on this site or get all up tight honestly its not worth it. Most of what I see on here is nothing but selfish behavioral patterns that you do not want in your life anyways. I see nothing but judgment I see so many things coming out of these people that I messaged that some even claim to be religious themselves.
Obviously these people follow a different following than I do due to the way they have even spoke to me. My true love is Jesus seek him and he will bring forth the right one when the time is right for you. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/12/2009 3:18:54 PM | First you have to be happy with yourself. Sure women are nice to have in your life but if you don't then it's not the end of the world. There is so much more out there than woman. I'm not saying women are not important they are the most beautiful creatures on this planet but nothing to get down on yourself over. I'm sure that when you meet the right one you won't be able to stop smiling. Until then why not practice smiling for when she does show up it will feel natural.  | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/12/2009 3:57:06 PM | | It's not hard to be dejected, especially if one encounters multiple rejections. Perhaps it' s best to take a respite and just live life and not worry so much about getting a girl and things will fall into place. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:22:14 PM | | women up here are selfish,greedy,STUCKUP,AN Blind,look south man these women up here are trash | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 11:17:56 AM | Hating women for acting like women is like hating a dog for acting like a dog.
They are merely reacting to what you do. If they aren't treating you properly it's pretty much your fault.
Get over this "nice guy" stuff. It's disgustingly supplicating. She feels if she can you get to treat her this nice then she can get a better guy who won't treat her as nice but still nice enough.
If you're willing to kiss my ass, then i assume i am better than you and as soon as a woman thinks she's better than you it's GOODBYE!
Don't give her a reason to think she's better than you. If you want to be treated like a king, you should act like a king.
Read up.
Kill that desperation
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=16926 | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 11:54:48 AM | | wow this is kind of a hot topic to talk about, so what im gona say is that probably women can say the same about us | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 11:55:10 AM | | stop hating women hate the one that knows you well an will do anything to hurt you,he helps you find all the wrong women you know who im talking about dont you see him at work Satin | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 2:41:19 PM | You've hit the nail right on the head with the new breed thing .
One day I looked around at my friends .
58to 65 Married once and still married
42 to 58 Married once before . Maybe not happy in this one either
30 to 40 Now starting 2nd devorce
20 to 30 Can't even find the first one to marry .
My morther has the same theory as I . This country started going down hill , loss of family, when women decided they were going to be men as well . When Rosie The Ribbiter when to work , then wouldn't return home to make the family whole again .
And women started voting ! Women operate on feeling , not Logic . LIKE ; " I feel Nobama will make a good President " . No one ever looked at what he stood for . | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:56:58 PM | | man im with you on that one all they want is a cute guy or a bad boy and they wonder why they get there hart ripped out of there chest and handed to them | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:06:26 PM | | i know what you are saying,,,let me tell you a little story,,,i have been married ,twice,,dumb huh,,well i married young ,,right out of high school,, to a girl i knew from a neighboring school,,,we were 18,, in love ,,but i found out the hard way that love doesnt last.,, she shared herself with everyone,even my dad and my brother,,we were married 15 years,then a divorce,,i found a few girlfriends along the way ,,but they turned out just the same as her,,didnt care about anybody but themselves,,and who the next guy was,,then i found a woman that ,,i thought i could trust,,did she ever put on an act,, we were married for 13 years,,then life was greener on the other side,,she messed around with her boss and then friends took her to see other guys ,,some friends huh,,both women were adickted liars,,then after a bad divorce,,here is a question,,,when a woman screws around on a guy ,,why do they blame the guy ,,for them ,messing around,,like we took the guy and thew him on top of her,, there is no logic,,to this maddeness,,anyway,i found someone new and thought if i lived with her and got to know her,,maybe we would get married,,but i knew something was wrong,,she has a lot of problems,,she was molested by her dad ,till she was 12,, then her brothers took over,,till she was 19then she got married then divorced,,but not till after she had a kid to her brothers,,i lived with this woman for 6 years ,,and the only way i found out ,,she went to her dads funeral,,and still took on her brother,,who is 55 years old now,,i knew when she got back that there was something wrong,,then she told me,,after 20 lies,,but i didnt leave her like she thought i would ,,i tried to get her in counseling,,and she went twice,,then quit,,she got a job ,,then started messing around with the boss,,and she blamed me for her messing around,,so i know they are all liars and cheats,, they dont want someone to treat them like gold,,they want someone who treats them like dirt and use them,,i never was that sort of person,,at least i had morals,,but i found out most of the women today,,dont have any morals,,and care only about them selves,,,its been 2 years since i went out with a woman ,,mainly because i will never trust another one again,,when you give your heart to someone ,,you dont need to have them trash it,,or spit on you,,just to boost thier egos,,then laugh at you when you pour your heart out to them,,maybe one day i will find someone too who will love me ,,for treating them like queens,,not trash ,,like a lot of guys do,,maybe somedayyou will find someone who loves you ,,for what you are,,a nice person,,but the way women are today ,,,dont count on it | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 8:14:41 PM | | I guess it goes both ways. I find men over 55 like that, and it probably isn't the age it is the type of men that I'm meeting. They don't have time for a relationship unless it is what they want to do. I'm willing to do what they want if they will do some things I want to do, but it hasn't worked like that. I'm tired of going out to dinner and then that is it. I don't know if they are in the grieving mode or just stubborn as they only want to spend an hour or so eating and that is it for the night. I personally don't know what they expect, but why ask someone out to dinner and leave as fast as you can get away. I'm not that hard to look at and I do communicate but something isn't clicking and I'm about ready to enjoy my hobbies and friends and forget about dating as who needs this? | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 8:23:22 PM | | look at whos behind all this .he knows us batter then we know ourselves .how else would a jerk know the right words to turn your head .not all your thoughts are your owne.an he is not about to help you find the right person . through a persons owne shallow thoughts an indeffernce will ster you away from a good person to a person he knows will brake your hart.think about it | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 8:59:05 PM | | hahaha i know what you mean... ive had my troubles... but me, i still love them, its a kinda love hate relationship, you cant live withem, cant live without em... but my forman... drill sargent in the army for 12 years... taught mountain warfar... he hates alot of things... women exspecaly.... the only thing there good for is suckin his ... you know.... ahaha, i dont share the same view, i just find it funny.... but some night i hear him yelling the name of his ex wife... i havent asked him about it... cause i see it as a very tender subject... i might just wake up in the hospital... but... i can see why it happens, alot of women hate men as well, its a hate hate thing... | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:04:00 PM | | You sound like an amazing person, tho, I am more than your 75 mile preferene, and Lord knows I have sons older than you, and, if in another life, we met, the sun would rise and the moon would set in never before known beauty.... | |
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