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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:31:13 PM | Maybe you are looking for that specail someone who fits your idea of the right one, by the way she looks. Remember true beauty is with in, not on the outside. I feel you are looking for your trophy mate not your soul mate and when that trophy turns into the swamp monster from the Blue Lagoon. Stop being so supperficial and open up your heart and soul. Stop looking at the wrapping paper and look inside the box instead. Men tend to only want a womans body, never thinking about the person inside... Stop looking at people's physical appearance! You are missing out on a wonderful relationship by looking only at the outside. Remember you can always change the out side of a person! But the inside, THEY must change their self. Most people are happy with who they are and see no need to change.... Give it another try, this time look with in.
PS; You might be scaring away good women by that mean look on your face in your pic .......You look like a very bad mean little boy.... But you are realy a BIG SOFT TEDDY BEAR!!!! Stay sweet Lovelace79 | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:36:04 PM | | .. sunnydazzy...i dont think your coment was directed to me, you should specify... if the person im intending the message to is right about me i wright like this... but if its further up the thread, i use a quote or specify who im talking to.... haha, children older than me... ahaha, i bet you have grandchildren my age... im 21, my mom is 37, my grandmother grandmother is 45, and great grandmother is 62.... hahah... my family doesent waist no time... im breaking the chain however | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 12:50:55 AM | Dear Friend
Please understand that this world is a confusing, sometimes cruel but yet beautiful place. All types of creatures from honest and kind to sadistic and selfish roam around this mother, trying to get by. You know how the world works. Some of us have had our hearts broken to the point where we get a hole deep in our chests where our hearts used to lie. Its hard to consider filling it. What for? Build it up high so we may have the possibility of it tumbeling down again? Maybe thats why us woman are the way we r. We dont hate men, Its not that we dont want someone to love and be there for. We just hate giving people the opportunity to screw us over again. I guess all we can do is be ourselves. FTW, love and enjoy time w urself, not by ur self.  | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 4:22:10 AM | wow, i thought that was just me. have always tried to treat anybody the way they want to be treated but usually get it backfired on me.
a good mate of mine is a total bas***d with women, yet they all fall at his feet to be abused and used.
I am begining to think women see politeness and manners as a form of weakness in a bloke | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 7:31:35 AM | | Stop being a bunch of wuss-bags feeling sorry for yourselves. This is why you people are single. If you're not happy with something in your life, stop complaining about it on POF and MAKE SOME CHANGES. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 7:57:18 AM |
wow, i thought that was just me. have always tried to treat anybody the way they want to be treated but usually get it backfired on me.
a good mate of mine is a total bas***d with women, yet they all fall at his feet to be abused and used.
I am begining to think women see politeness and manners as a form of weakness in a bloke
Um...they do if you allow yourself to become a doormat. Being nice all the time does not work, and being more nice is not the solution...it's part of the problem.
Becoming an asshat is not the solution either. Your good mate might be getting girls left and right, but I'm doubting he's really happy. Just getting his piece of a$$ and moving on will leave your friend feeling empty eventually.
Finding balance is the key. It's ok to be nice, but have some boundaries. Women will test you for boundaries. If you let them get away with behavior you don't find acceptable, they will walk all over you. You can still be nice, but call them on their crap when they do something you don't approve of and they will respect you even more.
Been there...done that...still learning.
Paul ;) | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 9:57:19 AM | Paul I hear what you are saying.
Finding balance is the key. It's ok to be nice, but have some boundaries. Women will test you for boundaries. If you let them get away with behavior you don't find acceptable, they will walk all over you. You can still be nice, but call them on their crap when they do something you don't approve of and they will respect you even more
If the script were flipped, and your girl calls you on your crap, when you do something they don't approve of, do you have a problem with that???
I am asking, because I have seen SOME men at times have a double standard, they don't want to be jerked around, however they have no problem jerking someone else around.
I am not saying the OP does this, but I have chatted with a good number of men, and the attitude that they carry, and or the huge chip they have on their shoulder, is so over whelming that as a woman, I have no desire to deal with that kind of angry crap.
Then I see threads like this that start out pretty good, then the full on misogynists pop on here, stating how women are the most vile creatures to walk the face of the earth. YET they are on a dating site, looking for sex, or dating, or ltr, and never get the fact that their own attitude precludes them from having a nice gal actually want to meet them.
You can't tell them that their attitude really bites, because they get all defensive about it, and call you a biotch, and that women are all biotchs, that won't give a good guy a chance. The question being, a chance at what exactly???
I agree, balance on both sides is the key, as well as mutual respectful boundaries.
There are days that any of us are not at our peak, but then there are people that are always angry, defensive, and just not pleasant to be around.
Thus I ask, is it one sided on calling a woman on HER crap, or does that go for the woman being able to do that as well??????? | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:05:15 AM | | What I hate about women the most or should I say some women because I have not met all women, they want to change you and they play by their own rules and think you should too my wife recently died we were married for 40 years so you see I was away from the dateing game for a long time Its been two years now, so I tried dateing with no success Iam not starting to hate women but I have losted interest in looking for one to date a lot of women seem to love themselves more than I ever could so I think I can be just as happy without a women in my life. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:36:54 AM | After my divorce in 2006 I felt the same way. My wife just told me to move out one day out of the blue. We were having problems sure but I was trying to work on them. She didn't want to even try to work on us. I was sick of all the stupid games that women play. I've heard it from lots of other men too, so I knew I wasn't alone. Then I started making women friends. Just friends. And the more I listened to them talk about men, I started saying, "No, wait that's not what he meant. He was talking bout something else entirely." The problem is a comunication gap. I know it's been said hundreds of times before. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," but it's really true. Women misinterpret most of what men mean to say. And men don't read body languiage as well as women do, so a guy's woman may think she's telling him something and he doesn't hear aything. I wish it was differnt but it's not. Men and women really need to find a level where they can communicate with each other. Both need to learn to listen in a different way.
Thanks. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 11:12:13 AM | no, it's not a crime.
some women like being independent of anyone. not just men, ANYONE.
nope, you are simple having a run of bad luck in finding someone. we all go through this and some (like me) are still going through this.
have fun in your life and be happy in who you are, the rest is sure to follow. TRY to keep your hope still intact. *huggles* | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 11:17:52 AM | What? How the hell can you hate women?
I'm sure we could start a thread called, "What is the most horrific thing an ex has done to you?" and I'm sure that no matter how bad you think you have it, some poor guy or gal will come along and make that story seem like a cheesy musical. We've all been in that lovely spot, the position in life I like to call, "There is never going to be someone like that in my life again, I've lost my love, I can't go on anymore, I'm going to drink until I puke and set fire to everything she ever gave me and who is this new friend on her MySpace, and cry, cry, cry,and work sucks, I hate my life, AHHHHH, my friends must be tired of me acting like this,I'm going to shave my goddamned head."
But hate women? I have just as many compelling reasons to hate them as any guy, but really, that's like hating the sun for staying in it for too long and getting burned. Hating puppies because they crapped on the rug and whined all night.
Women are like magic. I want them, all of them, all the time! I'm nowhere near done with getting crapped on!
And really, the only common thread between all your failed relationships is you! And me, and everyone else! There's no difference between your first crap break up and the most recent, except time. You still upset about your first break up? I'm not and the more I look back on it, the happier I am because I've had better since then! Wow, would I be an unhappy **stard now if I'd stayed with that girl my whole life.
Do your thing man, cry, scream, kick a dog, whatever. But hate women? I can't....I'm too addicted to cleavage and sexy time! | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 11:23:35 AM | mortalez,
I see that you area dad, which means you must have had at least one significant relationship in your life, with your child's mother. What happened to that relationship? Is there any way of working it out with her, and being a family with your child? | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 11:47:03 AM | | OP. We've all experienced that. It seems that you want to give up- and maybe you should for awhile. Because in a frustrated space, you won't put your best foot forward. And you'll be defensive wondering when the woman might dump you. So why not coast- or look for friendship first. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 11:58:32 AM | OP, maybe the best thing for you is to take some time off of dating. Don't you think women get frustrated with dating men, too? Dating can be frustrating, especially when you really want to find someone and put a lot of pressure on doing so.
Women aren't bad, nor are men. Some are going to hurt you, and that's just a fact of life. It's best to respect yourself first and if you see a woman is not treating you right, let her know and change the situation or break it off.
How about spending some time doing things you enjoy and just being casual about dating for a while? | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 12:05:25 PM | "Sweet guy"? LOL. What is this "sweet guy" character? There IS no sweet guy.
The guys who call themselves sweet are the most emotionally unstable, clingy, indecisive, craziest people you will ever meet! I don't buy the "nice guy" crap. Been there, done that.
Women, if a guy ever says to you, "I'm a nice guy"...RUN!!!
Men are just as ****ed up in the head as anyone. Women are not the problem here. And as long as you continue to think that, the longer you will be alone. Look at YOURSELF FIRST. Look at the "man in the mirror". Get YOUR shit together, and do the things that YOU like to do, and find someone who is also doing those things and you will network with like-minded people, and eventually find someone who is worthy of your company. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 12:06:39 PM | Oh and I'd like to add that the so-called, self-proclaimed "nice guys" are the most self-loathing, insecure losers you could ever run into.
So run AWAY! | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:56:09 PM | I used to hate women as well. Then I discovered that they taste better than chocolate.
Now I can't get enough. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:18:20 PM | Jimerrific, your a doll....
Women are like magic. I want them, all of them, all the time! I'm nowhere near done with getting crapped on!
OK, I am NOT being flirty, but that is a great post.
We women can sit and complain about all the crap we've gone through to, and what a bunch on BS Bast@rds there are in the world.
Like you, I know after my divorce I was so freaking pissed with all the crap my ex did, and how much he really f-ed up my credit. Reality, I let him F up my credit, because I had this silly notion that since he was my husband he would NOT abuse MY credit... OK so he failed to mention he went bankrupt while we were getting to know each other.
I however didn't hold a big pity party, because I had to look at ME, and what I did wrong, and how I had made things an unhappy place too. Sure I could point out ALL the great things I did, and how he didn't appreciate those times... Funny, or sadly that was over looking the times I really sucked at communication, and how I would REACT, instead of acting upon situations.
My relationships have been so different. Been with my sweet heart for a year, and we don't yell at each other, there is no name calling... I went to classes to be a different person, and communicate with purpose and intent. He didn't, but through my efforts of staying calm, and not getting woman freaky, he can stop and think about things.
Don't get me wrong, we aren't the Beaver Cleaver couple (puts finger in mouth to gag), but we work on communication.
Another poster up above talked about communication. Lets flip the script, and understand men and women communicate differently, and it takes both sides to make a cognitive effort to communicate where BOTH sides understand the other.
It is really easy to put blame on your partner, however both sides have a responsibility to make sure they are actually communicating, and not just flapping their chops. Men are just as capable to be nags, to harper grudges, to piss and moan endlessly about things, and NOT take an initiative to find a solution with their partner.
It takes really looking at your partner to NOTICE what good they have been doing.
IE: I have gained some weight, and am unhappy about it, so I am changing my eating habits, and going to the gym... My weight my problem right???
Here is my sweet SO, instead of getting me ice cream (that is his favorite treat and can eat a pint a nite and not put an ounce on) or he'd get me some desert, mochas, et al, because he loves me, and that is his version of flowers.
He knows and understands how unhappy I am about the weight gain, so he gets me fruits, veggie drinks, and healthy treats that coincide with my efforts.
At first I didn't notice what HIS version of getting flowers were, however now that I do, I let him know just how endearing his actions are. OK, I have to sometimes point out to him the things I do, that are my version of "men flowers", but he's catching on, and feels the mutual love and appreciation.
My point, and I do have one. It seems in the "honey moon" period we put our best foot forward, then when we feel comfortable, and settled in a relationship, we forget to notice the "small loving gestures" are partner makes. We don't always take the time to make sure we are speaking the same language, and being understood by the other.
Jimerrific, your post is terrific, simply because if the opposite sex keep hating on each other, or fail to learn what "crap" they were dumping on their partner, there is NO WAY they will find that "magical love" that makes life worth the while to have a partner.
Sure from time to time we will crap on our partner, OR let them down, BUT learning to apologize, and realize ya had a poo accident that got on your partner is a big part of creating that relationship you want.
I am NOT here to reform my guy. Tried that, and I suck at man reform schooling. Heck I am NOT a finishing school either. However I am someone that LOVES MEN, and learned to have positive relationships with them.. I get along great with my ex now... Would never want to be married to him again, BUT I can appreciate him as a friend, and father.
Jim keep up the positive attitude, maybe just maybe it will sink in to the gender haters.... | |
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Sorg85
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Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 69 | |
| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:51:38 PM | I think that the OP is ready to be with someone its just that the women he finds seem to have no clue what they want.
It happens to everyone and yes it gets pretty irritating.. You just got to ignore the BS and move on. We can cry and shit our pants about it, but its getting us no where. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 9:35:53 PM | Nexthyme,
Finding balance is the key. It's ok to be nice, but have some boundaries. Women will test you for boundaries. If you let them get away with behavior you don't find acceptable, they will walk all over you. You can still be nice, but call them on their crap when they do something you don't approve of and they will respect you even more
If the script were flipped, and your girl calls you on your crap, when you do something they don't approve of, do you have a problem with that??? I am asking, because I have seen SOME men at times have a double standard, they don't want to be jerked around, however they have no problem jerking someone else around.
Let's keep this in context. If you read the post of the individual I was replying to, you would understand that I was addressing the doormat 'nice guys' in the forum...the ones who are so nice they will let a woman get away with anything and everything. Because they have no boundaries, they get walked on (doormat). Most believe that the solution is to become even MORE nice, and it just never works out for them. They're also the ones who always complain about the bad boys always getting the women.
Both the nice guys, and the 'bad boy' men, have self-esteem issues. One has no boundaries...the other has no compassion.
To answer your question specifically, in a balanced relationship, neither party should tolerate unacceptable behavior. If both people are well-balanced adults, then either party calling spades is acceptable. If both people are well-balanced adults, the issue is discussed and resolved immediately. I have been fortunate enough to have had a balanced relationship before. It lasted 11+ years and was the best relationship I've ever had.
Paul ;) | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:10:13 PM | Oh boo hoooo hoooooo, pass me the crying towel, booo hooooooo, give me a break OP, look if you're having problems with women treating you like a doormat, or taking advantage of you, then LOOK in the mirror, because the common denominator is YOU?
If I put my hand on a hot stove and keep burning my hand sooner or later im going to figure out its me that keeps putting my hand on the stove?
maybe its time to UPGRADE on your choice of women? there are plenty of women looking to meet a man, you're telling me you cant find any of these women or are you going after Ms. America's or Halle Berry types or Sport Illustrated models or the strippers with the Big tits and little feet
Im betting you're overlooking the " plain" and " below average" women who are over weight and your excuse is you're not attracted to them? lots of women who fit into that category why not romance them? | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:11:38 AM | Hey OP,
I would just concentrate on being happy with myself.
If your happiness depends on having a girl at your side, then your source of happiness turns on whether you have a girl or not in your life.
If, however, you achieve a total happiness from within yourself --then that source of happiness cannot be extinguised, ever.
You are happy whether or not you have someone. It's a terribly hard concept to grasp and admittedly, very few of us will ever achieve it.
The funny thing about this is that once we know we don't need a partner to make us happy, we suddenly become desirable.
But good luck and hope you find happiness... whether in a woman or just find that light within yourself.
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:12:34 AM |
My morther has the same theory as I . This country started going down hill , loss of family, when women decided they were going to be men as well . When Rosie The Ribbiter when to work , then wouldn't return home to make the family whole again .
And women started voting ! Women operate on feeling , not Logic . LIKE ; " I feel Nobama will make a good President " . No one ever looked at what he stood for .
Gee, and you cant figure out why women arent interested in you and your world?? Who the hell is Rosie the Ribbeter? You may want to actually have at least some of your facts correct before you start spouting your theory... | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:53:15 AM | I think there can be some truth in this...In high school there was the "popular" girl & guy! Everyone wanted them...had a crush on them or what ever.
I mean even the guys and girls who wouldn't have a snowballs chance in Hell to ever be with them. Why did they not see all the guys and girls that would have been great to go out with and enjoy time with? Why such a focus on "the one". I never understood that. So Malibujay, I say you are on to something, and they will probably be nicer people who don't think TOO highly of themselves!! You go boy and you will find the love of your life! | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:34:38 PM | i truly understand lil brother.
i was married to good woman once but that was her problem she was so good that everyone else should see. that one was over and done with, then i dated and tried to look again and that damn love bug hit me hard and me and that particular woman were together for 3 years. no one ever treated me as good as she did but i got sick and for a month i changed she left and well that life right. she went to another man. now like you i am at it again and i am scared too try or trust! and your right counseling is not helping cause all they told was face it and deal with it. i miss the one greatly but i do hope that i am not alone. i feel that way and get the usual responce you have family your not alone. yeah but not the same. i am tired for their games why can they not say what they mean and mean what they say.
all i can say is i am not giving up neither should you and well the thought is there but i am starting to dislike them as well but we soo need them. | |
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