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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/21/2009 4:30:15 PM | | Don't hate women. Just don't put a lot of faith in a sexual relationship as a path to everlasting happiness. Do focus on being loving and fostering and maintaining good friendships with whoever you meet in your travels, whether they're having sex with you or not. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/21/2009 5:24:04 PM | | Chack your black book and see what they all have in common....might be the type your picking....sounds wierd but change up and good luck! | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/22/2009 5:02:49 PM | OP sorry you are having this problem. If counseling isn't helping maybe try a different counselor.
Can you be specific about what keeps happening to you? | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/22/2009 5:24:41 PM | | I understand how you feel. I don't hate women but I am very careful. I find that many women want this and want that, but they go off of a mans look or materialistic items. I find that men can be the same way. I am not woman bashing at all, but I understand where you are coming from. I think in todays world, what a man wants in woman and vica versa is now evolving. Hang in there and just keep a close watch on your heart. I won't go chasing anymore, its not a game, I will just wait until that right person comes along. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:14:13 PM | Well I am going to repost my topic here, all you kind poeple are welcome to join.
http://www.qoe.cn.to/ | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/23/2009 12:08:20 AM | you know something I am sorry that women have treated you like that .. but we do have time and the door swings both ways I am afraid .. men do the same thing .. I do notthink ther eis a single man or woman out there who isnot afraid to get hurt ..cause we have been damaged so bad by past relationships .. really sucks tho cause if you think about it .. there are peopl elike .. me for instantce who wants a relationship .. am ready for one , and all of the above .. but all that you meet out there even if they say the want something .. it ends up they just wantto have sex .. a FWB kinda thing .. I am sooonot into anything like that and what I hear as a woman is .. " well , my ex cheated on me ..a nd I am not sure what I want .. but if you wanna have sex we can " ..
come on .. we are the same slice of pie as you are .. it works both ways .. are there really any men out there who is willing to have a realtionship .. and not just have sex .. and really get to know someone .. or what not ... i once heard a saying that said something to the effect of :
its better to love and take that chance and all then to be afraid and never give love a chance and miss what could of been the best thing out there for you ...
I rather love and feel it then be afraid of getting hurt its worth it to be loved then never at all ... even if it takes a few times to finally find what is really meant for you ..
good luck hun keep your chin up and someoene will find you .. when your least expecting it ..  | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/24/2009 9:47:41 PM | | Well I got my hopes up again, sometimes I feel it would be better not to wake up, there is nothing waiting for me in the waking world anyway. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:28:06 AM | | From what you say, perhaps the issue is deeper than just picking the wrong women. When someone says it's not worth it to wake up, that is a signal that maybe you are depressed. Because in my view, there is so much to live for other than relationships and if you feel this way, perhaps you could benefit from some counselling. You should see your family doc and talk to him/her about how you're feeling. I think there is something deeper going on for you here. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/25/2009 1:07:14 PM |
From what you say, perhaps the issue is deeper than just picking the wrong women. When someone says it's not worth it to wake up, that is a signal that maybe you are depressed. Because in my view, there is so much to live for other than relationships and if you feel this way, perhaps you could benefit from some counselling. You should see your family doc and talk to him/her about how you're feeling. I think there is something deeper going on for you here.
I have been that route, and I have found that meds dont make me happy, acording to dyonetics I am what you would call a reactive mind in order for me to see good there has to be good, while I may see the glass as half empty when others see it as half full I find a full glass is better than either. there are key points of my life that if there I am in bliss no matter what.
and those are:
[bold]Romantic love.
a roof over my head.
a food source.
gainful employment.
a vehicle.
A stress outlet.(entertainment)[/bold]
Take away any from the list and my temperment is effected and I feel empty.
I am not big on keeping up with the jonze's, dont need or want a $100,000+ house, dont care if I have a lexus in the drivway, and my romantic love does not have to be a 19 year old barbie with $200,000 invested in her chest.
to me those things are meaningless, Hell if I won the lotto tomorrow I would still live in the same house(granted there would be more toys on the inside) and drive the same car(granted it would have a new motor and body work).
I dont really ask much from life I just want to be happy and share that happiness with another. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:00:09 AM | yeah i kinda empathise with you - (ut thread will probably get deleted and we will get banned for speaking our minds due to the "freedom" and "privelages" we have in our part of the world!
it seems there are far too many snooty women around who despise straight men for one reason or another and are expecting a level of perfection that is unrealistic, unfair and morally wrong too.
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:01:15 AM | yeah i kinda empathise with you - (ut thread will probably get deleted and we will get banned for speaking our minds due to the "freedom" and "privelages" we have in our part of the world!
it seems there are far too many snooty women around who despise straight men for one reason or another and are expecting a level of perfection that is unrealistic, unfair and morally wrong too.
no only that but they want to publically boast about their hatred of us and wrack up as many "rejections" as possible in order to boost their egos and self esteem
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/26/2009 10:08:14 AM | Geez how can people be so cruel, I feel my whole saturday was wasted, and this day aint lookin better.
funny because I was always such a possitive person but now I see nothing to be positive about and I hate that.
I hate dating.
I hate being single.
and I hate wasting time on flakey women.
I wish I knew where to find women that took this seriously.
I have humor and always have good first talks on the phone and usually have good first meetings then women tend to get busy and I dont hear from them for days, and they call up like nothing happened.
Where are the women that actually want a REAL relationship and not just some guy to be their plan B. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/26/2009 3:11:06 PM | Mortalez, your are an extremely complex fellow. I am not sure if you just have noticed that a good number of women date like men now.
I have been in and out of the dating field for 26 yrs, and it was very common for men to meet,. have a really great time, then nothing... Maybe a week later they'd pop back up as if nothing happened.
Heck I can remember one guy telling me he was getting of POF , because he wanted to focus on me... Really, then he stops talking to me, and won't take the three phone calls I made. POOF just gone...
About 8 months later I see him here on the net again, and he is lamenting he picked the wrong woman... Meh, ok, what ever...
As I said before we women had to move into the work field, and all the sudden WORK is important, just like it is for a man, because we need a roof over our head, we need food in the fridge, we need to keep out car running, the kids clothed, and pay for the things they need.
SO YES, women now have to make sure they have a job, and put it ahead of a relationship, just as men have forever. We no longer are chosen to be married at 18, and the few that do can generally look forward to being divorced within the first five years.
If they have babies, then all the sudden if dad up a leaves they have to do double time.
Mort, if you continue to recent this NEW REALITY, then it will always get to you.
Take time to like you. Apparently you state you are a reactor... Is that making you happy??? I used to be one, now I blend logic, with emotions instead of one over the other...
At what point do you think you think you are going to be the guy a woman wants to be with IF you are so frustrated, and feeling that since women aren't behaving in the way YOU want, then you hate them, and are unhappy.
Once again, hate, and wanting that very thing YOU HATE, is not going to get you a woman.
Hating on an entire gender, because you aren't getting what you want from them, really doesn't make sense.
How many women succeed in the dating field if they hate men???
I can tell you, I have had my fair share of people, OR MEN who have given me more than enough reason to hate men... THAT IS if I thought just because of this SMALL majority when compared to the entire gender does NOT calculate out logically.
Therefore as a woman that has been hurt by men, I have a few choices, to look at men as all bad, and worth hating, figuring I met a few bad apples, but also some great ones too, or that dating IS a mixed bag.
I found when I am happy positive, and have a good outlook on life, I met a lot of men, and some were emotional vampires, some where here today, gone before the next, and now I have the one... He's not perfect, and neither am I, but it makes it perfect for both of us...
I am telling you keep hating, and feeling bummed that women don't react in the way you want, and you will wind up a pissed off old person. The choice IS really up to you... | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/26/2009 3:58:49 PM | so basically my only choices are to loose or to loose alot?
are you saying its imposible to find a happy relationship?
All I ask is to meet a woman that is inot me and allows me to be into her.
people have done this for years and only recently has the divorce rate went through the roof.
commitment used to mean something but not now, men and women are reversing roles it seems.
when i was younger it was the WOMEN who all wanted commitments and the men who played the feild now most of my friends and me cant find a good woman, they are too busy clubing, running the streets and being hoes.
kinda sad when you think about it.
I logically know there are good women out there but they are now such a minority that its like searching for a single strand of RNA in a gallon of sewage water. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/26/2009 4:46:52 PM | Wow, most accurate statement on this forum>
I logically know there are good women out there but they are now such a minority that its like searching for a single strand of RNA in a gallon of sewage water.
I am past starting to hate, I completely agree. The best part about being pessimistic is how unbelievably happy we get when something unexpected happens, if only for a moment. I for one am going to keep sifting through sewage water until I get sick and die. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:56:35 PM | Shug, I don't know WHAT is happening to make dating such a pisser for you. When I was in my 20's it was a pisser for me, BUT it was because I grew up in absolute hell, and had every reason to tell men why I was NOT lovable. I had to love me, and to enjoy hanging with me, and you know, I did a lot of hanging with me, or with my kids.
I am not telling you you loss or you loss, either way you loss.
When I got divorced, lost weight from meds from a devastating surgery. I was thin, grew my hair out, a hot little number. I look young, and I can tell you if you seen me in person I have nearly NO wrinkles, NOT from Botox, but because in my youth I was to busy to be a sun goddess.
My youngest was 5, male, and at that age men were now looking for someone to settle down with... HOWEVER a lot were looking for miss good time, I didn't drink, do drugs or party, so my group was narrowed down a lot.
What I did know is I needed to figure men out a LOT better, because I didn't want to have another relationship like I did with my marriage. I was the perfect doormate, and my ex LOVED the fact that he felt like a KING, and couldn't care less that I felt like a servant...
I don't know the type of women you are picking, therefore if I did, I could give you a little assistant in that area. Schooling is an amazing tool for some of us, so we manage to learn things.
Life is about compromise. Life is also about discovering what makes YOU the better choice, and how you can convey that to these women. IF a woman is NOT looking for a relationship at the time, you are shooting your foot. You bet she is out figuring what makes her special, and also probably figuring out WHY her last relationship sucked...
If she has a decent build, and an out going personality, then she is going to be placed with more options...
As I said before I wrote my SO, and didn't think he and I were a love match, just because his profile was rather blah, and his picture don't do him justice. He is a moody man, NOT ABUSIVE, but limits himself because of his "belief system" when it comes to spirituality...
That is an issue, and something we bump heads about, HOWEVER we love each other, and KNOW it is about figuring out what we can live with, and how to make our differences not so difficult...
My question, have you looked around and seen any woman that may not be what your norm is, and JUST given it a try. Not expecting ANYTHING, but thinking her looks like a gal I would take a chance on as a friend.
Women as men are different from geographical area, to geographical area. I can tell you I am very different from women back east. Most of us women are in the Pacific NW. SO cal, more differences.
I don't know how the women are in YOUR area, what they are looking for, and what they deem as a good man, and what they want out of a relationship. SIGHHH, I can tell you that it takes time... I was on and off the net for 7 yrs before I met my SO...
My singlehood wasn't because I was too picky, but rather a 3 1/2 yr relationship was NOT a good one, but I learn a lot about what I had to stay away from. Took over a year off, and had my fair share of men that had many fish on the various lines, so I got booted back into the pond too.
Sighhhh, I sense you have a lot of depression, and haven't found a means to treat it. Perhaps it is chemical, but what I can tell from what you have wrote is that YOU seem to believe happiness would be if you found a woman that would just be with you.
Hun, I did that with my 3 1/2 yr relationship, and the pain and hurt I went through with his insane mental issues was enough to make anyone SMART, run in the other direction. I stayed, because I let him convince me nobody else would really want me, I was broken, and no MAN wants a broken woman...
PATHETIC of me... Thus I took over a yr off an learned to fall in love with me. I stopped running from my past abused childhood, and I got my ass in school to use the brain I had that could do the things I need for others..
YOU ARE CORRECT, men and women have been in the process of changing roles, and for men it can really be confusing, because men aren't REALLY being raised differently, so that they understand how to fit into the womans world... That is unless you live in a REALLY sleepy backwards town where things seldom change, and men still get away with running over the top of women, and women believe that is their role...
Take a look at you, and see what YOU can do to make YOU happy. Not another person, but YOU... It starts with you, and how YOU feel about you, and how happy YOU are.
I have repeatedly said that in different ways, but it is always the same, because that is what it really takes... Do something about the depression... You are a big guy (meaning sometimes it would take a crap load of meds to make a difference, and those doses probably make you a zombie), sometimes Behavioral Therapy IS possible to help your depressed moods...
That seems to be something you MAY want to work with, in the mean time work learning patience, I had to do that myself. Was here a year before my SO came along, AND am still having to learn patience, because he has some ideals that make me want to pull out my hair.
He is worth learning to accept these things, SO I have to be patient, and LOVING of the things he's working on, OR the things he believes...
I feel your pain... And I mean that sincerely... I understand your frustration from the female side... My heart goes out to you, because I hate seeing someone doubt themselves when they ARE a good person...
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:15:34 PM |
Wow, most accurate statement on this forum>
I logically know there are good women out there but they are now such a minority that its like searching for a single strand of RNA in a gallon of sewage water.
I am past starting to hate, I completely agree. The best part about being pessimistic is how unbelievably happy we get when something unexpected happens, if only for a moment. I for one am going to keep sifting through sewage water until I get sick and die.
Ya I would have used needle in a haystack but we all know its harder than that, atleast for that search there is an easier way just use a metal detector, but for finding love there seems to be no way of weeding out the B!tche$, so we are forced to suffer through the golddigging20kidshastoomanymalefriendsnotimeforaseriousrelationshipmarriedtotheirjobbabydaddydramaonlycallonceinabluemoonalwayswantstogooutandspendmoneyusessexasAbargainingchip group of women in hopes of finding a good one who has love in her heart to give and the time to give it. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/26/2009 9:27:36 PM | Hey Op I cut and pasted this quote of yours: golddigging20kidshastoomanymalefriendsnotimeforaseriousrelationshipmarriedtotheirjobbabydaddydramaonlycallonceinabluemoonalwayswantstogooutandspendmoneyusessexasAbargainingch
and I couldn't have put it better myself!...I think you are simply saying how so many of us guys feel and your the first one i have seen in these forums, who has had the balls to tell it how it really is...my man, I have had a few long term relationships and lots and lots of dates and as i always say, there is that common denominator with all the women I have dated...that is "selfish" "overly demanding" "double standards" "perpetual b.itching" and don't anyone tell me it is because of me or the women I date for, I have had lots of women in my life and it is always the same "BS"
If there are some "genuine" non self absorbed, "sensitive" gals out there, please e-mail me. I am getting older...and like the OP, I have literally given up on these wonderful 'MODERN" gals.... | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/26/2009 11:34:24 PM | Just speaking as a man trapped in the MODERN hell of dating.
and you will get no simpathy from 99.9% of the women here but if we meet one of those 0.1% of good women out there it will make it worth it, problem is the good women dont put themselves out there, they go to work and go home while the bad ones are everywhere you see them all over, at the clubs, at the store, hanging out at the park, even at church. and the only time you do see those women at any of those places they are with their man(the lucky one that snatched her up early like in the 6th grade) | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/27/2009 12:13:10 AM | | Come on man... K Im not the male response u were looking for but I got a suggestion. Cause u look young and Im older and just recently I realized what I was doing wrong, in selecting my guys. So u can figure it out too. Think about the women youve dated. How are they alike... with each other. I really mean think about it and then think about how those flaws kept u apart. Then stay away from females with those problems, things u find familiar.... what your upbringing gave you.. If theyre gone. They werent for u for sure and anyway its tough in this world of self absorbed, egotistical people to find another person who can continue to be your best friend....especially ur bff ....good luck 2 u .............Deb | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/27/2009 12:48:35 AM |
Come on man... K Im not the male response u were looking for but I got a suggestion. Cause u look young and Im older and just recently I realized what I was doing wrong, in selecting my guys. So u can figure it out too. Think about the women youve dated. How are they alike... with each other. I really mean think about it and then think about how those flaws kept u apart. Then stay away from females with those problems, things u find familiar.... what your upbringing gave you.. If theyre gone. They werent for u for sure and anyway its tough in this world of self absorbed, egotistical people to find another person who can continue to be your best friend....especially ur bff ....good luck 2 u .............Deb
actually you only have 4 years on me, meaning you would have been a senior when i was a freshman. and I am pretty much the person I've always been but I have only had this problem with women for the last 9 years, my early 20's were great my late teens were great. women did not flake out on me then.
And what these women have in common is they start off great, every thing I want in a female(I'm picky in the selection) then when everything is going great and I am in bliss they change, start being busy all the time, call me less and less etc etc.....
I am a firm believer in not starting what I cant keep up. I wish women would do the same. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/27/2009 5:25:47 AM | Im having a hard time believing you Mortalez , Im a true believer of like attracts like and misery loves company, yes some women are mean and nasty but If you keep attracting those types I would question what it is that you're doing to attract them in the first place?
Suppose ( and I hate suppositions) I was to walk into 4 bars in a month and I keep getting slapped in the face , am I to assume its the women in the bars ?? or will be smart enough to figure out, maybe " im the problem" sometimes sport, if you're looking for a solution to the problem you may be the problem?
Im thinking you are seeking out the wrong type of women. It's not so much them as it is your choices. UPGRADE! | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:38:05 PM |
Im having a hard time believing you Mortalez , Im a true believer of like attracts like and misery loves company, yes some women are mean and nasty but If you keep attracting those types I would question what it is that you're doing to attract them in the first place?
Suppose ( and I hate suppositions) I was to walk into 4 bars in a month and I keep getting slapped in the face , am I to assume its the women in the bars ?? or will be smart enough to figure out, maybe " im the problem" sometimes sport, if you're looking for a solution to the problem you may be the problem?
Im thinking you are seeking out the wrong type of women. It's not so much them as it is your choices. UPGRADE!
Ok here is my choice making criteria.
1.Does she have time to devote to a relationship.
2.Do I find her attractive.
3.Are we mentally compatable.
4.are we sexually compatable.
5.Does she live in my city(dont do long distance)
6.Do we have the same taste in movies, music, etc etc.......
7.Does she not have kids or have older or adult kids..(I avoid those with younger kids.)
8.Does she show affection(not the same as sex).
9.Does she have male friends(I avoid that like death)
10.Does she like to go out all the time( High maintanance)
11.Does she drink alot( people do stupid things when drunk)
12.Is she faithful(go without saying but if the others are in check this is taken care of)
And all the women I enter a relationship with have these qualities AT FIRST!!!!!
only 2 have stayed true and one got deported and another got another job out of state only 3 months into our relationship and I aint movin out of a paid for house.
And I recently broke rule five but never again. | |
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