| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/14/2009 7:29:09 AM | I would leave subtle evidence on this person even a note or ph number in his pocket, several timeds if able until his wife admits somethings going on at least. Stop sleeping with him and get people tease him and leave him high and dry for revenge. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/14/2009 8:35:33 AM | I'm all for relationships, no matter the gender, age difference, race, creed, whatever. Basically whatever floats your boat. The only thing I don't approve of, is married people on dating sites.
Marriage is supposed to be sacred. The ring is suppose to be a symbols of commitment. Man or woman, if you are on a dating site, and dating while married, you are the lowest of the fcuking low. Separated is one thing, but full on married? Ya, forget it.
Ditch his sorry ass and send him back to his wife, with whom he stood with, in front of his God and made a solemn comittmet to. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/16/2009 12:10:22 AM | | Why would you tell the wife??????? Do you hurt so bad that you have to stab the knife into someone else? She either already knows what a Di** she is married to or has chosen to live in oblivion. Why would you, as a sane, adult woman, spend another second of your time, or thought on this jerk? What do you think you will gain from it? There is no positive outcome. Just another wasted effort. Leave the assh*** hanging, no explanation, no chance for him to explain his side. He is in the wrong. You will never be in the right, either. It is a no win situation. Drop out of it now. You know he is a jerk. Do you really need it written in his blood? | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/16/2009 12:28:30 AM | OP, i dated a women years back that did the same to me. She was awesome, and she even played the violin, and like music dorks, when she came over we would play music together (i play the irish bagpipes).
later on, things became very shady on her part. And to make a long story short, i discovered that she was married with two kids, and that i was the ignorant Sancho! this went on for maybe three months.
to preserve my self-respect, i cut my ties with her and went into depression. the depression lasted for a month, but after sorting it all out, i was myself again.
Either way I'm ending this, I'm just trying to figure out the best way to go about it.
End it quick & clean. Don't delay the healing process and stop sacrificing your self-respect & your identity. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:57:19 AM | | So for 6 months you dated this guy and you never asked hey why cant we hang at your place, | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:26:38 PM | First of all my suggestion is don't tell him you found out cause it's none of your business to even invade his privacy like that but I understand cause I'd do it 2. =o). What you CAN do is just ask him straight to the point 4 example: "you know I never got a chance to ask you this but are you married just wanna make sure" if he says yes then you know what 2 do... but what if he says no then what ?
Automatically you know he's lying so NOW all u would have 2 do is just get rid of him. But don't tell him how u found out cause then the conversation is going to drag and it wouldn't end very nice.... | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:33:40 PM | This will make you feel better / eliminate all problems:
1. Call his wife.
2. Tell her the situation.
3. Watch the fireworks. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:53:28 PM |
Do I just ask him and get him to tell me the truth
OP - a cheater wouldn't know The Truth if it bit him in the @ss. Just break up with him and tell him you know that he s married.
In the future, perhaps you could use your private investigator friend to check out guys before you get involved. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:47:30 PM | | I am of the same opinion as "wazhiz" He could be separated. But you need to ask him face to face. You may not get the truth but you can an idea of his character by his response. IMO | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:55:02 PM | (feeling lazy tonight, so short answers)
Dump his cheating arse before you discover he cheat on you (oups, too late he is married so he is already doing it!) | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 5:20:04 PM | OP ~ you've probably already made the break, if so - good for you.
I can't imagine being a sexual relationship with someone that is lying. If a person is lying, the chances that they actually being sexually responsible (testing and with only tested monogamous partners) is most likely next to nill. I am amazed at the percentage of spouses that have no idea they have a partner that cheats.
Tell the wife. Her health is being put at risk without her knowledge. Go get tested yourself. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 6:20:24 PM | yup plain and simple bye bye
I am sorry you got hurt by this selfish - cruel - ruthless POS
but glad you found out and are ending it | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 6:21:57 PM | I would send him a letter telling him that he is BUSTED! Let him know how he deceived both you and his wife (and children) and that he is the scum of the earth. I would make him shite himself for a while before throwing his A$$ in the trash where he belongs! It is very easy to get in touch with his wife through social networking.... but he is her problem and she should deal with his A$$ the way she sees fit...oh well, sucks to be him! | |
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| Delurking to say...
Posted: 7/17/2009 6:24:45 PM |
Why would you tell the wife??????? Do you hurt so bad that you have to stab the knife into someone else? She either already knows what a Di** she is married to or has chosen to live in oblivion. Why would you, as a sane, adult woman, spend another second of your time, or thought on this jerk? What do you think you will gain from it? There is no positive outcome. Just another wasted effort. Leave the assh*** hanging, no explanation, no chance for him to explain his side. He is in the wrong. You will never be in the right, either. It is a no win situation. Drop out of it now. You know he is a jerk. Do you really need it written in his blood?
...yah for the voice of reason.
I really wish I could collect all the POF women with good sense in one corner and have one to date for each day of the week, but I think my SO would have a problem with that... | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:35:59 PM | The best way of ending it is to ask him to a restaurant preferably a nice restaurant, dress up to the nine, look absolutely stunning, as soon as he sits down , you say " I found out you're married with a child" then leave, no explanation no scene , nothing, just walk out.
A woman walking out on a man in a restaurant without a scene is priceless, he would be left wondering WTF happened? and who ratted him out? | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:42:17 PM | | call cheaters and just let go of it all.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 10:29:24 PM | | Scary as it may seem, maybe you'd want to think about having the talk with his wife to let her know . Maybe the two of you would be a source of comfort and support for each other as victims of the same deciever once she gets over the initial shock of course. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 10:33:43 PM | | It has to feel bad to find out that the man has been lying from top to bottom. It's too bad that he couldn't just be honest and say how it was. At least then you could have made an informed decision. It sort of doesn't matter how you tell him, but by all means tell him that you know and that you don't want to see him any more. Then call your most reliable friends and get love and support until the bad feeling passes and you're ready to get back out there. Maybe next time you want to do some checking up front? There are background check servcies that are well worth the $$. Weed out the losers up front! | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 10:35:22 PM | | Wow I really like the suggestion by MahoganyIce!! Very classy and very direct. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/17/2009 10:41:19 PM | | Forum101, the wife has a right to know! If he fooled OP, he may be also fooling his wife. Lots of times women don't know about their partner's infidelity. She obviously feels badly about this. Allowing her experience to help deliver the truth to another woman who is also not getting her needs met is one small turnaround for what's right. Men and women get away with cheating because of attitudes like 'don't ask don't tell'-Silence =complicity and is a guarantee this issue will never go away in our society. Don't know about you, but I am tired of constant reports of unfaithfulness in marriages. They're on the news everyday. If we don't take a stand for what's ethically and morally right, then we can't expect that this dysfunctional attitude in our society will ever change. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/18/2009 9:46:00 AM |
Wow I really like the suggestion by MahoganyIce!! Very classy and very direct.
Cost: It takes a woman at least an hour or so to get ready and do her hair (time is money), the cost of makeup (it's not cheap), and the gas to drive to the restaurant (gas is not cheap).
That's too much to invest in this guy. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/18/2009 10:23:29 AM | I had this happen.
He ran a bar that I had been using for ages. I continued to use the bar with my friends and one day very shortly after I found out he was married his wife came in. I bought her a drink, made pleasant small talk with her. It was never my intention to tell her just to put the fear of god in him. Sooooo funny watching his reaction, his heart must have been going a mile a minute.
I'm pretty sure he was far less tempted to play away again. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/18/2009 10:58:46 AM | .
OP My take is he lied to you. He deserves no respect form you. I would sever all contact and never tell him why. You've been hurt enough. Don't give him a chance to hurt you further by more lying or trying to stay in your life. A clean break would be in your best interest.
Good luck, Sweetie.
Namaste,
Ginny
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/18/2009 11:28:42 AM | You can be like most people and not return calls or e-mails and break up by default. Since he actually is married, he probably won't care or figure out you found out anyway.
Of course, he could tell you that he is leaving his wife for you and that you are his true love, haha. But I think that is what you want to hear.
Just end all communication, there's not need to talk about it any further. | |
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| Dating a Married Man
Posted: 7/18/2009 12:04:28 PM | | Oh Santitas, I really feel for you... I would tell him your finishing with him and if he asks why then tell him that you know. I feel for his wife too. If he's done it once, he'll do it again. Good luck! | |
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