| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:01:13 PM | | OP, what's her intention for telling you that she's bi? if she's just telling you to tell you, then i would fuss over it. but if she's telling you so that you'll know that the reason why she can't go out with you one night because she's out carpet munching with marjorie then, that's up to you. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:28:41 PM | Bisexual is the ability to be attracted to both sexes. However, a true bisexual to me, is someone who is capable of falling for either a man or a woman. It's not just all about sex. It's about who you're capable of making an emotional connection with as well. I've always considered my brain bisexual, but I've mostly fallen for men over my lifetime. I lean more towards men, even though I am capable of also being attracted to women.
It does not however, mean that bisexual people are incapable of being monogamous. Quite the contrary. Most bisexual leaning people still enjoy monogamous relationships. (for example, I prefer to date one person at a time, no matter what the gender) I think bisexuality is much more common in both genders then we realize, but most lean one way or the other. But because its still taboo to talk about to some, (usually due to religious nonsense), many who might have occasional thoughts about the same sex are too afraid to admit it.
I'm not sure why she would feel the need to tell you if you've only been dating for a short time. There are some women who use it as an excuse to sabotage a relationship. It's really not a big deal. It could mean she's never really had the chance to explore a woman since she's been married to men. Maybe she's looking for a guy who will be ok with that part of her, and not put her down for it. Or maybe she'd like to "mess around" with women every once in awhile along with you.
You really need to ask her, what she means by this. Does she want a female lover too, or does she just want you to know that she has thoughts about women sometimes and she doesn't want that to scare you away? You also need to ask her, does she want a monogamous relationship, or an "open" relationship? And to be fair, if you allow her to mess around with other women, you should be able to do the same. It really depends on what type of relationship both of you is looking for.
Just ask her. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:40:27 PM | | My take? She's not going to be up for a threesome. She's telling you that she either does have and will keep in the future or that she will pursue in now and in the future relationships with chicks besides seeing you. How you feel about it only you can know. I'd have a problem with it. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:46:32 PM |
Many Men don`t have a Problem with That! Especially when
they`re in the Middle
What about if you're not in the middle, but instead reduced to errand boy and you get sent out for refreshments a lot? lol | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 10:27:16 PM | I've known three Bi women and one Bi guy in my lifetime and not one of them managed to remain faithful*, they skipped from guy then girl then guy then girl etc, with regularity. Good luck OP!
*-Perhaps there are faithful/monogamous Bi folk but I haven't meet any. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/14/2009 12:23:31 AM |
I can't be the woman that a woman might want, so I'm only opposed to a girlfriend who would want another guy.
I see it that way as well. There are degrees of bisexuality and if a man seeks only the physical aspect of another guy I can understand that as long as his romantic interests are just for women. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:12:10 AM |
I've had LTR's with two women who were bisexual. We never had any problems or issues, in or out of the bedroom. I'd even go so far as to say that we had a closer bond simply because there were fewer unknowns between us, because I did not judge them negatively. They valued my ability to not judge them negatively because of their sexuality.
There are different degrees of bisexuality. Don't paint them all with the same brush. It's not fair at all.
Some are merely bi-curious (lipstick lesbians), and simply act upon the "fantasy" every once in a while, while some are very driven and torn between which gender they prefer.
Please re-read my posting.
I didn't state that ALL bisexual women are unhappy and confused....just the ones that I've met.
Since I didn't ask them about their sexuality, there's no way I would have known unless they told me. And while I didn't "judge" them for the past, I did have to look at actions in the present involving them differently because of what they told me.
Relationships are fragile.
Most have difficulty enduring the constant buffeting from the daily grind of common issues. Bisexuality (at least open bisexuality) is an uncommon issue and as such isn't something that most people have experience with or for which they'd be prepared.
IMHO, if there are any doubts as to whether not the non-bi person in the relationship can deal w/ things then there isn't any doubt. They probably can't and they should look elsewhere to start a relationship. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:26:40 AM | There's a lot of different opinions going around, but please, think of it this way:
If you are in a committed monogamous relationship, technically should you not then have no p[articular sexual orientation at all? Because you have yours and all others are a non-sexual entity. The fact that the woman is telling the OP she's bisexual points to her intent to do things with other women, or that she feels attracted to them, or else she wouldn't bother because she is no longer open to the possibility of sex with ANYONE else because she is in a monogamous relationship.
There are the casual lipstick lesbian bi types, but really, any stupid little girl who goes around saying 'I'm bi!' because of some vague hypothetical tendency in her head is too immature for me to consider, like those teenage lesbians who do it to 'rebel' against society, complete idiots.
I'd dump any woman who expressed attraction to anyone else but me, personally, it's a disloyal mindset that I don't have when with someone and I expect the same respect, and it's just as bad no matter what the gender.
She waited until after you made a big step to tell you because she felt it to be important enough that it could destroy the relationship had she done it earlier, meaning she waited until you were possibly in too deep to back down so you'd feel pressured to accept her sleeping with other women. I'd suggest really confronting her on the issue of whether or not she'll act on these bisexual feelings, if you're not prepared to end the relationship. What I'd do is walk away, but it's up to you. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:01:51 AM | | Worse, think, now that homosexuals can marry, soon the bi's will be demanding their right to marry someone of both genders, then the Mormons will come around demanding the right to polygamy 'because the bi's have it' and pretty soon a man will be able to walk into a chapel with a horse and say 'I'm in love!' | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:06:55 AM | | almost all the girls i've dated told me they liked gilrs and either have been or want to be involved with another woman. who can blame them, men are gross! lol | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual-update
Posted: 7/15/2009 9:52:16 AM | | well, i found out thru a mutual friend, that she recently had a drunken lesbian fling...what it means i don't know but i have e-mailed,called, texted, etc to my 'friend' to no avail. I have not heard back from her in several (3-4) days.I am moving on to other opportunities, and if she calls..she calls..but i'm not waiting by the phone. If i get the chance to see her and talk with her, i will bring up some very important points you-all have mentioned.Until i get some answers from her directly, she's on the (back-burner), dating-wise.Thanks for all your help and suggestions. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/15/2009 9:57:56 PM | Just as in hetero ralationships, there are bisexuals who are not great at monogamy. Not everyone is the same, and for those who habitually get in a relationship with someone who is unfaithful, that person might look into their own issues. People get what they want in life as they pursue it.   | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/15/2009 10:02:44 PM | | I wouldn't mind just in and of itself. However, if I was in a relationship with her, I'd still want it to be exclusive. Whether she sleeps with another man or a woman, I'd view it as cheating on me as long as we were together. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/15/2009 10:21:14 PM | | Go rent "Chasing Amy" (Dir. Kevin Smith) ..... It'll be worth it for you, or anyone who's asked this question... | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:11:26 AM | In my opinion most "BI" girls these days are only using that as a way of attracting men or keeping a man. They have usually never even had a serious or sexual relationship with a woman...and no girl on girl kissing doesn't count!!!
Relationship wise, if you care about someone you don't want to share them with anyone else! | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:25:58 AM | | I've always had friends who were Gay - men and women alike. What they do at home is none of my concern. But I've dated women who were bi and I've not had any problems with it. If she wanted to be with another woman on a particular evening, I've no problem with that - it IS a problem if she wants a 3-way with a man and a woman however. But if she wants to go out with a girlfriend, great - just let me know about it before hand, and will you be home by daylight, and what do you want for breakfast. That she might leave me for someone else can be said of any relationship. What can I say - It's just not something that's going to measure very high on the Richter scale for me.... | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/16/2009 11:27:27 AM | | I for one have no problem with Bi-women. I know some and dated 3 over the years. Thay loved me and played with the girls. Always came home to me and would bring them home. Most Bi-women don't like butch women they like others like them. I must say I had a good time with them. At the time I wasn't looking for a LTR but if I met the one that I wanted to be with for the rest of my life and she is Bi it would be great. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/16/2009 12:19:45 PM |
I don't know about this bi thing, you're either attracted to males or females...I know there are a lot of people that like to believe they can be equally attracted to both, i just don't see how...could be wrong but i think she's just sitting on the fence for now... Kinsey would very much disagree with you. Sexuality and gender have both long proven to be far more than a black and white issue for many. That's one thing I've never been able to understand with people who say it is either gay or straight...there are just so many spectrums of interest and sexuality, I cannot fathom making it so concrete as to leave all those gray areas ignored. I think some people abuse the term (heteroflexible, drunkgay, whatever) "bi" and use it as a means to have their cake and eat it too...on the other hand I know a few people who are bi (male AND female) who prefer monogamous relationships and find gender a non-issue in their choice. I know people who like men more or women more, but aren't adverse to enjoying the other sex with enthusiasm. And I know some mostly gay (5 on the Kinsey 1-6 scale) who find some people of the opposite sex highly appealing and sexually attractive.
My point? I guess if it is a huge issue because she's thinking she needs a lady, too, to feel happy and you're not into that, walk away. Find what works for you. If your partner's sexuality is an issue, it will NOT work. End of story. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about bisexuality. | |
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