| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 1:49:40 PM | | If you're discouraged to find that POF has people who like things that you don't, stay away from going out into the world at large. There are billions of people out there and most will not be like yourself in their preferences, values and desires. That would be too discouraging, I'm sure. | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 1:57:30 PM |
What do sexual preditors, perverts, p;ayers, cheaters, get out of this kind of life style? Other than the thrill of the conquest. Isn't it a very empty shallow life with no real fullfillment or happiness?
I think Charmed read your post to mean 'the lifestyle' - as in swinging and open relationships. I dont think you meant that, because swinging has NOTHING to do with the other things you listed.
In fact, your question is confusing to me because you lump together unrelated things. A 'preditor' sounds like a rapist or pedophile - someone that needs to go to jail forever. A 'pervert' is someone with fetishes that arent the norm. Heck, I'm a pervert for liking some differnet sexual practices, but it doesnt mean I force anyone or cheat on anyone. And while a 'player' and 'cheater' are somewhat related, they stillarent the same. A 'player' is looking for sex however they can get it, but it doesnt mean they are cheating on anyone. And a 'cheater' doesnt respect their committment to a relationship, but it doesnt make them a pervert or preditor.
So what exactly are you asking?
How to correctly spell 'predator'?  | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 1:58:08 PM | I think people responded to you the way that they did.. and the way I am going to, is that you imply that people who do not share your sense of sexuality do NOT value themselves. You also associated folks with predators.. and that's just not nice. I mean.. maybe it is silly, but just because someone likes getting a bj in the parking lot of a night club (which I would assume you would label them as a pervert) does not put them in the same ball park as a sexual predator. The Key word in that moniker being "Predator", the sexual side of it merely being the way the behavior manifests, as it really has nothing to do with sex.
It seems the essence of your thought process came at the end
I am offered daily to have friends with benifits sex. I have no desire what so ever in doing that.; Can't imagine anyone wanting that.
I think it is precisely because you cannot put yourself in others shoes that those others respond to you the way they do. | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 1:58:23 PM | | They get their ego and thier c*ck stroked all at the same time! They get to have their cake and eat it too! They get what ever thay ask for because they are pros at what they do! Bottom line I think they get a kick out of hurting people - a sadist in it's truest sense!! | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 2:49:21 PM |
Think guys are taking advantage of you sexually? Keep your legs closed. Fairly simple concept...
Why don't men start not having sex with people looking for something different then them? Or stop using women he ain't interested in but he KNOWS she is doing it because she likes him? Instead of taking advantage of every woman who was stupid enough to think she has something with him, why don't MEN keep their pants on and wait. Maybe if that large group of men didn't seek and destroy then the problem is also solved.
There are a group of real men who don't take advantage of women or lead them on. I have mass respect for them. Maybe we blame the men because they just disappear after giving you a long kiss good bye and saying "I'll call you later".. And the Academy Award for the largest douche goes to... 3/4 of the male generation yaaayyy
I hear this crap is happening to men more often too. No one should do it to anyone. | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 2:58:38 PM |
What do sexual preditors, perverts, players, cheaters, get out of this kind of life style? Other than the thrill of the conquest. Isn't it a very empty shallow life with no real fullfillment or happiness?
First of all a sexual preditor is on a total different level than "most" perverts, players, and cheaters.
A sexual preidtor is a stalker whom you know is around but don't realize they are waiting for the "right" moment to fullfill their evil desires. It takes a lot of time for them to plan what they are going to say and do-- They stalk their prey and wait for the most oportune time to take advantage of the moment.
As far as perverts-- Let's be completely honest here, aren't we all perverts? Have you never had a dirty thought run through your mind? Most perverts I have met are only obnoxious.
Players are all about game, if you're a smart woman/man, you will know the difference. You can only blame yourself for getting caught up into the game.
Cheaters? Well all I can say to this is that there are 2 kinds. 1- the kind that do it because they get a charge out of the "thrill of getting caught" AKA adrenilin junkies. The other, 2- When you have communication breakdown and needs are not being met, this makes people wander for all kinds of support, and it can turn sexual easily. Best way to avoid this? Be sure you are meeting your partners needs and be in-tune with them. Maintain open and honest communication.
You really need to be more thoughtful when trying to categorize people, you chose a wide range of types of people. And doing so could be offensive. LOL My inner pervert told me to write that | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 3:50:52 PM |
As far as perverts-- Let's be completely honest here, aren't we all perverts? Have you never had a dirty thought run through your mind? Most perverts I have met are only obnoxious.
HURRY! get out now!! we traced the call it's coming from inside the house!!
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:17:53 PM | Oh goodie, now I'm not just a pervert......I'm a sexual predator!
but at least I can spell it right!
If every man you talk to is asking for sex right off the bat......there must be a reason.
and since YOU are the common denominator in all these situations.....maybe you need to "judge" yourself and the signals you are putting off.......instead of ASSuming all men are the issue.
Honestly, Just say "no thanx"......and move on. Pretty simple solution in my world. | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:28:53 PM |
I wonder why it is so hard for people to grasp the idea that just because some of us want long term because we value ourselves and our bodies and sex as more that just a sport or hobby that we are some how anti sex. lol Let me tell you I am far from anti sex I enjoy sex to the fullest and am not inhibited or rigid. Infact I happen to be very sexual and love sex with the right person. I just don't like being treated like a piece of ass and nothing more. I am offered daily to have friends with benifits sex. I have no desire what so ever in doing that.; Can't imagine anyone wanting that. Of coures to each their own, but why do these type of people prey on those who don't want that? To me anyone who solicets themselves for sex is a preditor if the other person is not interested in that.
I think I see the problem.
Tell me, by the same token, is everyone who advertises a product you don't want a thief?
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:01:11 PM | They get their ego and thier c*ck stroked all at the same time! They get to have their cake and eat it too! They get what ever thay ask for because they are pros at what they do! Bottom line I think they get a kick out of hurting people - a sadist in it's truest sense!!
Another poster who for some reason sees the OP's description "predators, perverts, players & cheaters" and immediately assigned them the male gender. It's amazing.
Its not an act of sex its an act of violence and dominanace simple and plain
What's "not an act of sex, it's an act of violence and dominance simple and plain"? What act are you talking about?
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:02:20 PM | This thread has once again disolved into a weird moral debate on open lifestyles, monogomy and illegal acts.
Comparing apples and oranges is confusing.
While I have done monogomous relationships (with varied success), I enjoy an open relationship far more. Thats me. Just as many people who want long term relationships are threatened by open relationships, perhaps we open minded individuals get defensive about our choices.
Live and let live.
The predators, pedophiles.... rapists or whoever else breaks the law, I say let the justice system deal with them. | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:27:57 PM |
Another poster who for some reason sees the OP's description "predators, perverts, players & cheaters" and immediately assigned them the male gender. It's amazing.
Really dawn1114!! So tell me how many women do you see behaving in the manner the OP describes?!? I would love to see where you found the stats on the ratio of men to women who are sexual predators, perverts, players, and cheaters! Not saying women don't do this but chances are the ratio is outweighed by men.
Oh and if your really read my post as it is ment - the word c*ck is subsequently used metaphorically to adjoin the sexual aspect of the subject to the forefront! | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:30:41 PM | | i know what they should get....a lower extremity removal. a service i know a few people would be more than happy to provide almost free of charge. only cost would be the gas for a chain saw. Sorry a lil graphic but so is what those kind of people do | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 8:16:36 PM | There's a big difference between sexual predators/perverts, and players/cheaters. They are not one in the same.
Sexual predators feel compelled to hunt down women or children and sexually abuse them in some way. These men, may not see their lives as shallow or empty, because in their minds, they are doing what they want sexually, even if its hurting others.
Pervert is a very general term. Not all perverts are sex offenders. For example, I have a bit of perverted side myself, but I'm not a sex offender, I know right from wrong and I know which boundaries not to cross. Sex offenders may know right from wrong, but most will cross boundaries anyway.
Players and cheaters are basically the same thing. Men and women who don't want, or are incapable of monogamy. Some might lead shallow lives, but some cheaters and players, love being players and cheaters.
You can't really lump all of them together, because they are not all the same thing. Some folks may be more then one thing in this category, but your question is a little too general to answer.
For some the "thrill of the conquest" is quite fun for them. For others, not so much. Just depends on the individual. | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 8:25:38 PM | | From my experiences of working in the industry that I worked in from 19 to 26 I can honestly tell you that the lifestyle of meaningless sex is fulfilling in some ways, but does lead one down a path that isn't truly fulfilling. You see, I worked with music and had literally everything at my fingertips - drugs, sex, you name it. I was left with an immensely empty feeling that just about killed my insides, however it built me into the person I am today which is someone that everyone can come to as basically a life coach. So many people fall into the lifestyle of casual sex out of desperation, mental issues, vacancies in their life, etc. They enjoy it, or so they think, but in the end they lose out on so much beauty in life. So yes, it is a shallow life with minimal actual fulfillment, but it's pretty much all they know due to various reasons. The best way to counter it is to learn the signs, accept the other person for who and what they are, and decide if they are worth tolerating their issues. There isn't a person on the face of this Earth with zero issues, so it's just one more thing to consider and accept as close to unconditionally as possible. Once you make your decision you can find peace in it. Life is beautiful, it's up to you to find it my Dear. | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 8:58:24 PM | | chivalricman your amazing. You know exactly what I am talking about and saw how empty that life style is. I was there many years ago and it did nothing for me. Basicly for me I let men use me for sex because I wanted to be loved. But sadly I never got the love. I hated myself and the people who used me. It is a very shallow life. Most will not admit it. | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/13/2009 10:59:41 PM | Speciallady, as much as you might want to figure out the reason why people or men in your situation do the things they do, the real question besides looking for love in all the wrong places is why you sell yourself short hoping for love in these situations. Instead of wasting precious time with why they do it, you need to figure out why you gravitate towards these types... and stop it...It's very hard on ones self esteem to sell out "you" and you need to move on from that. Leave them to their game because you won't change them... all you can do is change your choice of men... find a nice man... he's out there....
But there are tons of books out there based on the peter pans of the world...  he at least wears green... lol.. | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:04:14 AM | | Pixie dust If only it were that easy to keep away from such people. The problem is not that simple. There is not a whole bunch of nice guys nice people to pick from. Besides why is it the womans Fault because there are so many rude people out there who don't care how they act or what they say or do? | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:34:48 AM |
There's a big difference between sexual predators/perverts, and players/cheaters. They are not one in the same......You can't really lump all of them together, because they are not all the same thing. Some folks may be more then one thing in this category, but your question is a little too general to answer.
I already said this, so glad someone else agrees with me. | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:36:33 AM | do you really feel that all these groups belong together! if so you have some serious pain to overcome!
for sexual predators... they have no choice. the have no control over their actions. therefore should be kept away from the public.
for sexual deviants.... yes they do find enjoyment in their lifestyle. and as long as they play in a controlled, consensual manner.... it is not up to you to judge!
players/cheaters now these two make seance together as they are the same thing... no they get no joy out of life... their low self worth is fed by the body count they amass. as soon as they cum... they are overcome with a feeling of emptiness. thus the cycle of conquest and comparison repeats itself.
now player and non compatible are often confused manly because of self pride!.... say you were seeing someone for three months... then you did the deed(made love)... and then he is gone.... is he a player? or could it be while you were deeply in love with him. he was unsure of you. now after sex...he was sure. now taking into consideration that most people are not good at confrontation...but are masters at fleeing.
be happy and don't forget
body armor is not meant for safe sex | |
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| This is a loaded question but alot of people wonder about this
Posted: 7/14/2009 8:08:31 AM |
To me anyone who solicits themselves for sex is a predator if the other person is not interested in that. Same goes for perverts as they like to say things to strangers to get the shock effect.
Its very discouraging to know that so many are just on these sites for quick thrills with strangers.
This fact certainly doesn't put them in the pervert/predator category.
Not everyone is into commitment is all. But really your definitions of men who want sex was really extreme!
Shoot.....I was soooooooo horny after a year of going without sex.....On my first date I was the 'predator' and he was smiling 
Dating sights have alot of different types of people in them,with differing goals and agenda's.Just be happy they are upfront and don't lie about what they want.
The one's who just want sex do exist and all we have to do is politely decline and move on.If they don't take the hint then block them.......simple as that.
I love a man with the balls to tell it like it is for him......that doesn't mean we want the same thing. | |
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