| Older Guy
Posted: 7/17/2009 10:35:20 PM | A child that can vote, smoke, and go to war. A child that can enter a legally binding contract. A child that can choose to get a job or which college to go to. A child that is bound by every law and has no access to juvenile court. A child that her parents can kick out onto the street. A child that can get married without parental consent.
yes but they cannot buy alcohol legally. i believe legal age in most states is 21. | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 7/19/2009 11:10:47 AM | | Move on and find a guy closer to your age. If he won't put a label on your "relationship" it just means he isn't into it or he is playing you. I am not one to say age matters, because it doesn't always matter, but come you are still a "kid" he is a grown man, it is quite possible he has a son that is older than you and a better match for you as a bf, husband, or whatever. LOL | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 7/19/2009 11:16:44 AM | Do your parents know about this?
He's old enough to be your father. Sure, right now the age difference doesn't matter, but let's say, he does get divorced, and you wind up being married to him. Contact me when he's 60 and your 36. Oops I forgot marriages don't last that long these days.
Seriously, he's looking for someone who is probably not going to question him on anything. Why? Because you have little to no experience with men or dating. Don't tell me that you know all about dating because you've been doing it for 5 yrs. lol
He isn't ready for a relationship.
I hope you're seeing other men closer to your own age. | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 7/19/2009 12:26:35 PM | Dimble twinks, old coots, bitter older women...wow, sounds like quite a party!
OP;
Child, what do YOU want out of life? Do you want a career? Kids? Is being in an exclusive dating relationship with a man 24 years your senior, a man who already has 3 children and (allegedly) a failing marriage, going to help you reach any of the goals another poster quoted from your profile, or just add a layer of complication to the proceedings.
Look, at 18, I'd rather see you focusing on developing a rewarding career( whether that reward be in terms of monetary compensation, personal satisfaction, making a difference or any combination thereof) and thinking about men closer to your own age, who ARE in a position to give you a committment and a more unfettered ability to participate in raising kids of your own, if that's one of your goals. Being in a committed relationship with this man,as far as I can see, isn't going to help you get the best life available to you. Caring and compassion are wonderful things,but don't toss them down a rathole, please.
As far as the whole age thing, my personal philosophy is that anything much over 10to 12 yrs either way, regardless of gender is usually a bad idea as far as forming a strong,mutually satisfying,stable and meaningful relationship. Now, don't "yahbut" me, of course there are solid and sound relationships that defy large age differences,but I don't think that is a common scenario. All too often even those that seem to "work" are delicately balanced on a dysfunction.
Again to the OP...baby girl, you have your whole life ahead of you. Please take good care of it, and look for a partner who can work with you in a healthy and harmonious journey towards shared goals.
Cindy O | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 7/19/2009 1:54:16 PM |
Ok so I've been talking to this guy for 4 months now and he is 42 and I am 18. Yes, I know. He is separated with 3 kids and his divorce hasn't even been final yet. I really care about him but he refuses to put a label on what we are and whenever I try to get him to talk about it he says that we've been through it and he isn't ready for a relationship. I thought it was obvious that he was only willing to see me for sexual reasons but he's willing to even give that up. I really don't know what to do.
I've only dated younger women most of my life. Last was when I was 44 and she was 19. So, age is not affecting what I'm going to say. He's got too many entanglements. Give it up.. Go have some hot 18 y.o. sex..with someone who's not all wrapped up in someone else..., or their kids , or some kind of other drama.. Why does anyone need that.. | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:17:03 PM | | Stick it out for the money and try to get pregnant, then he will have to pay child support. He might even marry you. | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 7/21/2009 8:46:17 AM | | When I was 50 I married a 25 year old, put her through college and we traveled the world together and had a blast. OK...she was a 10 and yes I loved having a gorgeous, younger woman on my arm. We were married 8 years but the age thing started to cause problems and we drifted apart and got divorced. She wanted kids and I already had three and had the surgery for no more. We are still best friends and talk all the time. She recently broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to get back together, saying she never had as much fun in her life as when we were together. I have moved on and am over my mid-life crises so am dating closer to my age, but it does work for some people! | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 7/21/2009 9:42:24 AM | Wow. I'm 42 myself and have a kid your age...that's just kinda creepy to think about.
He is separated with 3 kids and his divorce hasn't even been final yet.
So, what you're saying is he is MARRIED.
Come on, you're 18...and you really aspire to be the "other woman" and take on 3 kids not your own? Puh-leese...find someone your own age and leave married old men alone. | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:49:48 AM | OP I won't even get into your boyfriend but from your profile and writings here you are way too immature to be seeing this guy for any reasons....if your basis for love with this craddle robber is the fact he does your dishes, then send me your email so I can set you up with my 14 yr old...He cooks,does the dishes, laundry, keeps his room tidy, walks the dog and generally does everything else when asked....OK>>>BACK OFF LADIES!!! | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:05:02 AM | How hard can it be? You want a relationship and he doesnt, you'd think that would answer the question.
And I still agree with jerseygirl!!! | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/9/2009 4:23:48 PM | He's in it for the goodies. Don't be fooled and don't wear the horse blinders. Older Men can tell you more if you insist on getting it. So if you need more advise, read on | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/9/2009 4:27:52 PM | Unbelievable!
Run like hell and don't ask why!  | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/9/2009 4:34:35 PM | Listen to this women!!! (Motto Bella)
There is only one question I want to ask you...
WHAT THE HELL DOES YOUR FATHER THINK ABOUT YOU FU**ING HIS GOLFING BUDDIES!!!!
OMFG!!!!
BARTENDER....Tripple over here...on second thought...just leave the bottle (hic!) | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/9/2009 5:16:21 PM | OP, I know if you were my daughter, I would not be happy that you were seeing a 42 year old man. You are of legal age of consent now and its really up to you. You likely will miss out on some of the best times of your life. My advice to you is do not take this relationship seriously. signed mom  | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/9/2009 5:19:58 PM | | I'm 33 and had been seeing a 43 yr. old man. We had some things in common but there was alot that we didn't. I couldn't imagine what you too could possibly have conversations about. (sexual positions, who broke up with who or how your going to have to lie to your parents about where you are????? Now, alot of men on here is all for it like one said if he lived closer he'd do it (do you) . Then some have told you what men that age want a BIG EGO stroke!!!!!!!! Find someone closer to your age with common interest. If i had to guess you and this man don't really get out and do fun things, i bet you go to his house and thats it???? am i correct???? | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/12/2009 11:04:41 AM | | Right on Jerseygirl, he's just using her. | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/12/2009 11:29:31 AM | | What you are involved in is practically illegal. Why would you want someone that much older unless you are looking for daddy? | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:24:44 PM | Im reading this and shaking my head, you're 18 years old, you have the world to discover and you're being manipulated by a 42 year old man, separated and with 3 kids.
Look im not going to bash you kid, you probably think you know what love is at your age, when i was your age i thought I knew everything and my parents knew jack sh1t.
Reality will set in one day, even if you stay with this guy ( who by the way should be shot) you will leave him by the time your 21, thats a guarantee, you will see things differently at 21 trust me.
Just because a young girl can do the things a grown woman can doesn't mean she is one, bottom line is this guy youre talking to is a manipulative prick, Im curious what does your father say about this? I have a goddaughter is 17 and im not crazy about the 21 year old she's dating, there's been times Ive wanted to put his body in the trunk of my car and find a spot to bury him , and bury him so far underground, his loved ones will start digging in China just to find him.
Certainly if she came home with a 42 year old, and he has 3 kids and separated , Im pretty sure he's not walking out of the door without the " talk" | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:43:59 PM | | OH, a lot of women experiment and want the experience of an older guy... just go in and have fun, probably the most fun you might have yet to date... but dont take it too seriously. | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/12/2009 5:16:57 PM | Didn't read the whole thread but let me give you the perspective of the ex-wife...the man is old enough to be your father. He may have young children, or he may have teenagers. When my ex decided that a 21-year-old was a good idea, it took alot of effort on my part to salvage his reputation with our kids. They called me very upset after he told them (I didn't know) and were scared to bring their teenaged friends home anymore. Nothing shook the family quite like that news. It was gross.
Still can't figure out what he thought would happen when he told the kids. Our oldest at the time was 19.5 and the youngest was just 15. They thought...dad's a creeper. Yuck.
It should always be about the kids and any guy who's playing with fire with a young woman should stop immediately and remove themselves from the situation. She'll never be another mom to the kids and his life should be centred on them until they're old enough to live their own lives. Hang out with people, date by all means, but be reasonable and responsible about it. My ex very nearly lost the respect of his children over this. He certainly lost mine. Better to find someone your own age because there are layers of complexity in a father's life that just aren't evident over dinner. Hope you can move on. | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/12/2009 5:36:34 PM | | You are right he sees you as a sex object then reality kicks in and thought OMG what if that was my 18 year old bonking an old mn like him. The guy is thinking with his head and you go find someone else to play your silly game. | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/12/2009 7:18:26 PM | | first of all your smart dating a mature man, maybe you should get pregnant | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/12/2009 7:25:53 PM | | god i just read some of the posts some older women put down here, i cant believe how bitter and crude they are,shes 18, and old enough, if i had a daughter i would rather have her with a 40 year old man, that wont be a dead beat dad then some kid under 30 | |
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| Older Guy
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:17:02 AM | Friendship isn't limited by age.
If you have ideas of something more,that would take some deeper
thinking, the ability to think critically and serious self-assessment.
Personally, it's hard to see the viability of a lasting romantic relationship. | |
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