| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:54:42 PM | OK, call me naiive, but if I were in your situation, I'd call her (or him, as the case would definitely be if it WERE me in that situation) or at least make contact in some way - email, text, whatever. Just let her know what her "friend" has told you, and that you'd like to know what she feels the status of your relationship is - whether she's decided she'd rather be with someone else, or she'd just like to remain open to seeing others, or what.
That friend of hers just may have delivered here own, "enhanced" version of the truth, for various reasons. Or maybe this gal you met really did meet someone who just "knocks her socks off", and so really is just stringing you along. But I'd want to know the answers to these questions, as well as let her know what you're thinking, before I just wrote her off altogether because of something someone else said. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:01:52 PM | Hmmm, two thoughts. You had no agreement to be exclusive, so in that regard she did nothing wrong. And you would not have either if you had been out with someone else while she was. In the future, don't assume something is exclusive unless you have both talked about it and agreed that it will be exclusive. A real relationship (as opposed to a heated little fling) requires communication, communication, communication...might as well start that early. But I'd say realistically that a week is just too soon to know someone well enough to decide to make something exclusive anyway...assume that your next fling is not exclusive.
I would not have been too happy with the dishonesty..."I'm busy" would have technically been true (just "busy" with someone else)..."I'm busy with work" was not true. What can you say? People should just be honest, but many folks are not...they lack the balls to tell the actual truth. It sux, but it's life. Don't let yourself be hurt by it.
Cheers,
Gruuve | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:04:59 PM | Oh, forgot something. Don't forget to look at the bright side of things too. 1) You now know she is honesty-challenged...LOL...would you actually want to have a relationship with someone who is? 2) If nothing else, you got to enjoy a heated little fling...just be glad you got to enjoy "one week stand"  and move on.
Cheers,
Gruuve | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:29:02 PM |
Many people date more than one person until they are really sure there is something to explore
^^ That's why I say these kind of people are high maintenance - they treat people as a commodity. Like buying shoes:
"Hmmmm.... nice fit. I think I'll try this one. But, to be sure, I'll try on a few more pair."
Sorry. But I can't see how anyone would feel special with someone behaving like that.... it just doesn't add up to being that "special person". It's more like a seasonal change of clothing.
As stated:
she met another guy, apparently hung around with him, now she is confused
That behaviour kinda reminds of a stuntman straddling over two horses and riding them around the stadium, showing off. I can't see how a person should be deemed relationship material if they can't focus on one person at a time - it's as if they feel there is something better waiting for them around the corner.... they're never satisfied.
Similar to the woman the OP is describing.
The woman texted you upon her return so possibly she figured out while she was gone that guy 2 was just a hormonal attraction and that you have more substance
^^^ like that's the kinda girl who is a keeper. She lets her hormones control her behaviour.
On the other hand, if the OP is going to call her, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed.
lol.. sowwy! Dude challenged my post .. and I had insomnia :0)
^^^I love the voice of sound reasoning. I'll do my best not to challenge your posts again.... for now on you'll always be right. lmao. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:46:12 PM | noodlefiddy on 7/15/2009 :
I've been "separated" for 3 years, because she's been sitting on the damn papers I signed that long ago.
Ok, this post of yours quoted above is complete BS and it tells me to take everything else you say with a grain of salt.
You're "separated 3 years and not divorced" because "your wife is sitting on the papers".
If you wanted to be divorced, you'd be divorced. Blaming your ex for not moving it along is, well like I said...complete and utter BS. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:01:52 PM |
^^^I love the voice of sound reasoning. I'll do my best not to challenge your posts again.... for now on you'll always be right. lmao. *laughing too* I don't see it as you being wrong or me being right. I just see it differently than you ~ that's all.
I don't believe in serial dating myself, but one has to make sure that both people are on the same page at the same time. Usually when both are on that page.. is when exclusivity is established. .. that takes more than a week of dates to determine. *IMO*
Cheers! | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:06:57 PM |
Have you too agreed to be exclusive? If the answer is no, then she didn't do anything wrong.
Ding ding ding! What he said. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:22:05 PM | No, you don't need to take someone elses word for something that may not be the truth.
You are not 13.
Oh wait maybe you are..note msg#81 Funny. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:23:22 PM |
wishes_granted says: I don't believe in serial dating myself
I think you mean "parallel dating".
Anyone of us who has dated 2 or more people at different times in our lives could technically be considered "serial daters". | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:38:36 PM | Got strung along again? Is this something that happens regularly? because if it is maybe you are putting all your eggs into one basket a little too quickly. It takes more than a week to know if you are compatible with a person, and it's not really a great thing to spend so much time in each others space until you really get to know each other (even then, space is healthy). I think it just sounds like maybe you are investing a little too much of yourself too soon, before you even know the real person. In the initial stages of dating lots of people (especially the less emotionally mature) put on their best persona, and a persona can be kept for up to 6 months before the real person will start to show from behind the mask of perfection. If you fall in love (or think you have) at this initial stage, then you're not falling in love with the person, only your ideal image of them. Give it time, get to know the person, then if you still like them you can invest yourself in them.
Just to add, sounds to me like her friend was a little too eager to fill you in on the gorey details. I'd steer clear of her too. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:30:08 PM | | people are allowed to date whomever they want if you are not exclusive. however, a lie of omission is still a lie, and I've found that people who lie that easily never stop. next her and fine somebody else | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:11:01 PM | | Ok, when you move so quick in the beginning it can get old really quick. I agree with someone else on here that said to pace yourself. The two of you don't have to seem like you need each other all the time. Get to know wach other alot. Go out with friends and see each other a couple of times a week. Women actually want the guy to be a little busy and not available to her all the time'and lets face it, so do men. She did not tell you the truth that she may have been going out on dates with out you knowing...I do think that you can read someone and she should have read that you were into her and she should have just said by the way I have a date this week and find out what your reaction would have been. I still think that you should call her and act like it didn't even bother you. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:22:33 PM |
noodlefiddy on 7/15/2009 :
I've been "separated" for 3 years, because she's been sitting on the damn papers I signed that long ago.
Ok, this post of yours quoted above is complete BS and it tells me to take everything else you say with a grain of salt.
You're "separated 3 years and not divorced" because "your wife is sitting on the papers".
If you wanted to be divorced, you'd be divorced. Blaming your ex for not moving it along is, well like I said...complete and utter BS. Bingo! | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/16/2009 6:16:29 AM | i dont know that the girl lied or not, but i do know you took "her friends words"for her activities and dumped her without even asking if what you heard was true.
You need to consider the possibility that her friend is very interested in you and will do her darnest to break the two of you up and you fell into her trap.
Am afraid you get no symphaty here, as a real man would have faced issues and at least asked the girl if what you heard was true.
You can not base your decisions on what other people say, always always a good idea to face issues head on, with the person that matters. Now you never know the truth | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:11:06 AM |
She was leaving for 10 days to visit family in Maine, and said that the week leading up to it she was going to be really busy taking care of stuff at work and wouldn't be able to see me until she got back.
this was your first clue. you spent so much time together leading up to this point to suddenly get the "i'll be too busy" line. if a girl likes you and is serious about making something happen, she will find time for you. a phone call, an evening out together, whatever. ten days is a long time to be apart from someone you're crazy about--especially in the budding days of romance. | |
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