| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/15/2009 10:23:37 AM | lol....thats funny.
texting is aggravating but if its their children or a family member may be you should give them a pass. It could be a friend to make sure you didn't chop her up and put her in your trunk.
If it's their girl friend asking what color dress she should wear while watching the view then may be you just don't go out again.
i always ask who that was.... it's not rude to ask...not if they are rude enough to take a text message that is not an emergency.
I was put on hold once for almost 15 mins...while this lady spoke with her friends about a purse party she was throwing the following week.
I stayed on the phone only to see how long it would take for her to get back to the phone.
It's those kind life experiences you can never buy but you must stumble on.
It clocked out at 14min 20 seconds lol
she wonders why we never got past the second date. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/15/2009 11:02:13 AM | I think that made you a jerk.
Once, during a date, my neighbor texted me to let me know my son had gotten hurt on their trampoline...I had to text my mother to take him to the emergency room, where I later met them. If I had been out with you, I'd have thought you rude and heartless to ignore the pain of a 10 year old boy, without even letting me explain!! | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:15:55 PM | Seriously, tell them you're leaving, put your share of the bill on the table and leave.
If they ask why, say "you're too busy right now. Thanks anyway."
Be a grown up. To stick someone with your bill is rude and I think someone might want to try to be vindictive back. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:23:03 PM | | Wow, this whole board makes it sounds like the ladies are the only ones who text during a date, or first dates....after being very frustrated with men who would do this on not only first dates, but others, I found myself very impressed with a guy who refused to text friends back on a first date...and I think it's another thing if you are texted about an emergency situation- then all you have to do is speak up and say that....and yeah- with the OP and walking out because she was texting- that's a little harsh...Like someone else said- speak up, be a man, and say how you feel- that's it's uncool to be texting. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:10:22 AM | | Doing that is more than just plain rude. Aren't you being just as immature as the person texting? Grow Up!!! State the problem (you are texting during the date and I don't like it)...suggest a solution (either you stop texting or I will leave and not pay the bill)...then follow through if the situation doesn't get any better (leaving behind half of the bill), but to leave simply because they are silly only serves to punish yourself why not finish your meal and be done with it. As you have presented it all you wanted was a free meal anyway and any excuse would work...(texting, looking around, humming, laughing too much, not laughing enough) and the list goes on. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:28:38 AM | Dating Rules and Regulations
Rule 5.6 (a)(3), Phone Usage in the Presence of a Date
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(iii) Texting
At no time during the Date (as defined heretofore) shall the Date Participant (DP) view an incoming Text Message, respond to any already existing Text Message, initiate an original Text Message, or otherwise engage in any Text Messaging activity, except as specifically provided for below;
(iii)(a) Exceptions. Exceptions to the Rule set forth in 5.6 (a)(3)(iii) shall be limited to the following:
(1) Any Text Message where the other Texter is any lineal descendant or ancestor of the Dating Participant; or
(2) Any Text Message where the other Texter has been specifically instructed by the Dating Participant to send a Text at a prescribed time during the Date, such that the Date Participant is provided with the opportunity, should he/she so elect, to terminate the Date for "exigent" circumstances. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:22:56 AM | Thing is, lots of people do this, not just on dates, but meetings as friends, for a brew or a beer. You're sitting there, chatting, and suddenly their phones beeps and they're off, texting a reply, then texting someone else to tell them what the text just said ... to me, it is rude in any circumstances. According to the way I was brought up, if someone rings for a chat when you are already chatting to someone, you say I'm busy, I'll call you back later, bye (unless it's an emergency, in which case you apologise and explain to your companion).
However, I do agree with everyone else that walking out and leaving her with the bill is just as rude and childish and spiteful. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:38:55 AM | I had a 1st date a few weeks ago where the lady was texting. It did not bother me at all because by that point we were both bored and I think we both knew this just wasn't going anywhere. We literally were stuck with each other (riverboat cruise).
When I invited her I mentioned there were going to be several other friends of mine on board (it was part of a meetup dot com thing) and that hopefully we could mingle, listen to music, have a few drinks, check out the waterfront, etc.
She accepts and then after we get on the boat, she doesn't like music, crowds, walking around, etc and we literally sat two decks below the band at a table by ourselves. Would have been kind of romantic if we had clicked, but we did not. So for the next few hours I saw some of my friends/acquaintances passing me by as they walked to different areas of the boat. I was trapped! So her texting gave her something to do and allowed me to not pretend to be paying attention. It worked out for both of us.
She actually was a very nice woman, but she never should had accepted the invitation given his dislike for pretty much everything on the boat (including me probably).
Now 99.9% of first dates, a huge no-no and probably would be a deal killer. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:27:30 PM | Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer,
What are the fines/penalties/jail time limits for breaking rule 5.6 (a)(3)?
My suggestion is to have penalties split based on Gender, political, religious and maybe even sexual affiliation.
So if someone is an Anarchist, one good penalty would be for them might be to write an essay on the Benefits of Centralized government.
Radical feminist? Make 'em listen to Rush Limbaugh.
Meat lover? Make them eat at a Vegan restaurant.
Hard core Christian/Islamic/Jewish/etc person? Make them visit an Atheist convention... but failing that... a Wiccan convention will do as well... as well as having to make a donation to one of their causes.
And what are possible defenses? I propose that it is a defense if the message comes from and is replied to the baby sitter, for example. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:37:37 PM |
Texting excessively on a date (first or other) is very rude and you have certainly found a way to deal with it. However, another way would be to grow a set and speak up.
One text is excessive. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 2:47:25 PM | | you are right if you do this,it is rude to text during a date.It`s also rude to talk on the phone while on a date unless its a really important call. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 3:04:14 PM |
My suggestion is to have penalties split based on Gender, political, religious and maybe even sexual affiliation.
My learned guess is that penalties tailored as suggested wouldn't stand up to a Constitutional challenge.
Instead, penalties should be based on the egregiousness of the offense. You know .. 5 texts is way more offensive than just 1.
And what are possible defenses? I propose that it is a defense if the message comes from and is replied to the baby sitter, for example.
Your example is valid should be codified. I'll work on an amendment. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 3:09:13 PM | On a first date (ESPECIALLY the first date) I would not so much as pull my cell phone out of my purse. In front of my date, anyway. What an absolute insult to the person you're with. It just screams "Spending time with you isn't completely captivating my attention. Maybe there is something interesting going on with one of my friends!"
If you want to check your phone and see if there is any emergency going on anywhere with anyone you know, I think you should be discreet and step into the restroom to do so. I don't think there is any excuse for whipping out your phone and using it when you're with your date.
However, when it comes to hanging out with friends or signifigant others, I don't see anything wrong with texting/talking in front of them. But I would say that for the first several months of a courtship...it's a no-no. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:11:07 PM | Phil (OP), in your profile you say:
No matter how mad or bitter I am toward someone, it doesn't take much for me to forgive and forget.
I'm going to assume she didn't say what it was, and just grabbed it and texted. So we'll assume it was a gal-pal and nothing serious; she would have said something about an incoming text.
If say, both you guys are done, having great laughs, and there's lulls in the convo, and she says "Oh, hold on...", reads a text, and spends 60 seconds texting -- who the hell cares?
If you guys both sit down, it's a little awkward and not much communication's going on and she just starts texting on her phone like she's sitting by herself -- yeah, that's rude. That one's a sign she isn't liking this at all anyway (in a rude way).
Regardless, you run away? I mean, it's a little rude... but come on. And how rude it is varies. You shouldn't be so attention-starving. In most scenarios -- no, a girl texting on the first date is not even close to a huge slap in the face. Kinda rude at the worst, usually.
Next time, say something.. simple like "Oh, texting during a first date, eh?" if you think it's at an inappropriate time, and feed off the response. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:22:22 PM | I think it's too bad you didn't hang around. In the rudeness dept. you and she
were a pretty good match. Probably have a lot of things in common. Too bad you
didn't hang in there. She could have possibly been your soul mate. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 6:59:23 PM | This is how I handle the excessive texting problem...
(( girl constantly texting ))
me: Haha, stop texting.
girl: haha, yeah I text a lot.
me: Haha, yeah I know, but seriously. We came to hang out together, so stop. ;- D
Works every time. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:38:06 PM |
Works every time.
Why would you even care if it worked? By that time, the date is over. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/16/2009 11:40:39 PM | | WELL I HAVE A DATE LAS WEEKEND , AND MY DAUGHTER KEEP TEXTING ME GOOD WAS AFTER DINNER , BUT THEN HE DINT CALL ME BACK , I DONT THINK IS RUDE IT MIGHT BE AND EMERGENCY. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:55:17 AM |
Why would you even care if it worked? By that time, the date is over.
Ha, no not really. There are actually people out there who don't realize how annoying it is to other people to text constantly when they're hanging out with someone. They need to be told and made aware. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:10:26 AM |
Ha, no not really. There are actually people out there who don't realize how annoying it is to other people to text constantly when they're hanging out with someone.
There are actually people out there who are totally clueless. I'm going to go out on a limb and speculate that texting during a date is only a side effect of the much greater problem of being clueless. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:53:58 AM | | Msg#45, I disagree with you on this. Had a similar situation to OP while on a second date a few years back. I met her at a pub for drinks, she had forgot her debit and credit card----which was fine since I'm old school regarding paying---and after a few minutes into the date, she started talking to another person speaking with an Irish accent at another table while in the middle of convo with me. After allowing her to talk for 3 minutes, I interrupted calmly but firmly expressing my disapprobation of her rudeness. It wasn't 20 minutes later that another couple sat at another table, and again while in convo with her, she started chatting with a lady, commenting on how she loved her dress. Rather than confront her again---and I'll admit having an explosive temper as a character flaw---I elected to excuse myself and told her to carry on with the other lady. I paid the tab and ditched her rather than create a scene. When I got home, I saw an e-mail she had sent from her cell, stating how upset she was at what I did. My reponse was that you sometimes have to be cruel to be kind. Whether she ascertained that is unknown to me, nor do I sincerely care. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:03:43 PM |
I paid the tab and ditched her rather than create a scene. When I got home, I saw an e-mail she had sent from her cell, stating how upset she was at what I did. My reponse was that you sometimes have to be cruel to be kind. Whether she ascertained that is unknown to me, nor do I sincerely care.
We're on the same page except I wouldn't have responded to the email. My favorite part, if there was one, when this happened, was watching my phone ring with her number on it while I was driving away but not answering. | |
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| texting during a first date
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:17:15 PM | Guys .. here's a tip.
When you sit down for you date, pull out your cell phone and tell her you are going to shut it off so that you can focus on her without interruption.
She will be flattered that you want to focus on her and feel obligated to do the same. | |
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