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Posted: 7/15/2009 8:23:56 AM | I don't go by what people have on their profile as to how they really are in person. I wait to find out, as we go along.
I'd wait 20 minutes. This happened to me many moons ago, though he was late with no excuse and we never went out again.
I don't know that I would call. If you can see he's active online then he's in fine health and I'd let it go.
They can be sane and dysfunctional. It's their personal junk. I've had someone say they had a good time - it seemed so - he contacted me to get together the following week, then *poof*. No explanation. It just is what it is. | |
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Posted: 7/15/2009 8:24:24 AM |
zekestone: I suggest calling. But sometimes they might be driving and making a left turn or some situation where they can't answer. Or if they are on the subway, there's a good chance they won't get a signal until they get to the next station
Hmm...what if you call and they're making a right turn? Can they answer the phone in that situation?
If so, why?
Just curious | |
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Posted: 7/15/2009 8:45:22 AM | ^^^ You missed the point. My point wasn't the direction they were turning, my point was that while traveling, you can't always answer the phone. Can they answer when making a right turn? That depends on where they are, the local laws regarding driving while talking on a cell and the situation the person is in.
For one thing, I wouldn't want to talk on the phone at all if I was driving in Rome or London England or downtown Toronto until I was fully stopped at a red light or parked at the side of the road. | |
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Posted: 7/15/2009 8:49:51 AM |
zekestone says: You missed the point. My point wasn't the direction they were turning, my point was that while traveling, you can't always answer the phone.
But you specifically said "left" turn rather than "making a turn" therefore implying a strong sense of directionality. | |
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Posted: 7/15/2009 9:24:46 AM | ^^^ C'mon... you're not that daft, are you? Or are you just trying to start a silly argument? Certainly you're familiar with the concept of giving an example, right? After all, I did say " making a left turn or some situation where they can't answer ".
And that means, I'm NOT excluding right turns, going straight, going backwards, sliding sideways, falling off a cliff or any other driving situation you can think of where answering the phone might not be possible or realistic.
Are you a lawyer? Let me check... hmmm... no you're not. Strange. Usually it's lawyers who tend to exhibit the trait of arguing over terminological minutiae... | |
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Posted: 7/15/2009 9:28:08 AM | I am sorry that you had that experience. I have stood up an individual, one time that I can recall. I specifically request that a gentleman that I am meeting for the first time call me when he is on the way to our designated meeting place. So far, my request has been honored with one exception. I did not leave my house to go meet the man that chose not to call. I figured he had my number and if he was still interested he would call.
As to your questions:
1. How long do I wait?
I would order a cup of coffee or meal depending on the place. He has your number so not more than 30 min.
2. Do I call or email him? You could but why? If he does this now, things will only be worse. He is the one that should call or email you.
3. What would make a sane person make plans and then stand someone up? He could have met someone that he became infatuated with. They may have been ill, had car trouble, or just decided to watch or finish watching some game. Who knows. He might have gotten cold feet. Worse yet, his wife may have changed his plans for him.
At any rate, just be thankful that if you were doomed to encounter a negative experience with this date, it was fairly easy to bear. | |
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Posted: 7/15/2009 2:22:03 PM |
zekestone says: And that means, I'm NOT excluding right turns, going straight, going backwards, sliding sideways, falling off a cliff or any other driving situation you can think of where answering the phone might not be possible or realistic.
Are you kidding me????
You think someone who just drove off a CLIFF is going to be concerned about making or receiving a cellphone call?
That's just dumb.
Besides the car would be moving at such high vertical velocity I doubt the occupants would even be able to get a signal. | |
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Posted: 7/15/2009 5:53:21 PM | | Oh my...he was in a car accident on the way there. I am glad I got an explanation but sorry he got hurt. Thanks for all of your help. | |
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Posted: 7/16/2009 7:55:03 AM |
You think someone who just drove off a CLIFF is going to be concerned about making or receiving a cellphone call?
So then you agree with me that falling off a cliff is one of those situations where it's unrealistic to expect someone to answer their phone, correct?
But *technically* it is possible. Hell... people were calling and sending text messages when the World Trade Centre got hit by those planes. If people will call/text in that situation, it's conceivable that at least a few will call/text someone something like: "Well Im just in the car driving and Im bored i think my next car will be a Merced - OH MY GOD IM FALLING OFF A CLIFF IM GONNA D---" and they cut the message short to hit the Send button before they hit.
Besides the car would be moving at such high vertical velocity I doubt the occupants would even be able to get a signal.
I think they would get a signal for the simple reason that you can get a cell phone signal when flying... and a typical passenger jet cruises at speeds of 700-900 KM/h.
When you fall off a cliff, it takes a bit of time before you either hit those speeds or hit the ground. So I think there is enough time to make a call/send a short text while soiling yourself...
I think the biggest impediment to sending a text or making a call as one plunges to their death is being frozen with fear. The next biggest factor is not using their time effectively.
I don't think maintaining a signal is a problem.
Hmmm... I think this might be a good idea for an episode of Mythbusters... | |
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Posted: 7/16/2009 8:31:05 AM | OK heres one for you.
Arranged for a first date with the lady that I am currently with for dinner at a very nice local restaurant. On the way to the restaurant I got stuck in traffic by the airport when President Obama was in town, they shut the highways down till he has gone by. Since I had only her home phone and she was not there I was unable to call her and let her know I was going to be late.
I called the restaurant and asked for the matrede and gave him her description and luckly he was able to get the message to her. When I arrived I explained the situation and she laughed like it was something I made up.
Well a few months later I made arrrangements to take her to Chicago for Valentines Day. We had reservations at a very nice local restaurant. As it was the first time for me either of us to go to this restaurant I was not suprised by the crowd. What I was suprised by was the security. As it turned President Obama and his wife where also at the restaurant.
After dinner they came to tables to say hello and chat a bit and we got the chance to talk to him and mentioned our first date, he chuckled and went on his way. when it was time for the check I opened the folder and inside was a note that read. "Sorry for the bumpy start, we hope that things are smooth sailing from this point forward. Dinner is on us and enjoy Chicago"
It was remarkable, and we will never forget the occasion. | |
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Posted: 7/16/2009 8:46:52 AM | | Maybe against rules but its nice to know that there are people willing to forwarn other, I'm sure beachpeople would have loved to be forwarned........ | |
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Posted: 7/16/2009 9:20:31 PM |
zekestone So then you agree with me that falling off a cliff is one of those situations where it's unrealistic to expect someone to answer their phone, correct?
Yeah I guess so, you got me.
UNLESS the distance is so great that they will be falling enough to complete the text with a minimum of mispellings and written in a concise and legible manner, which might be difficult due to the agitated state of the texter. | |
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Posted: 7/16/2009 9:42:55 PM | | When I set up a meeting one of the first things I ask is how punctual they are, there are many people that don't think 30 minutes after the set time is late, heck in Florida it seems that everyone shows up at least 30 minutes late. So to know how long you need to wait, you need to know what they consider on time. While waiting I wouldn't see anything wrong with sending a quick text to see what was up, I wouldn't bother now he has shown a lack of interest and consideration. Outside of a major problem there is no way I would stand someone up, and if something came up that really needed my attention I would have called and let the person know what happen. I think what you were dealing with is someone playing games with you, some people are just into stupid stuff like that. | |
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Posted: 7/16/2009 9:43:13 PM | | I wait 15 minutes and then call them. As for why people stand someone up, there are several answers. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2009 5:18:42 AM | Write it off...I go to the meeting place 15 minuted bfore the actual time and wait 15 minutes after....if shes small anough to be playin and doesnt show....which has happened....I leave....Then leave a note for her to read....and forget her,on a meet....at least a person could be on time.... | |
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Posted: 7/17/2009 7:31:17 AM |
Yeah I guess so, you got me.
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Posted: 7/17/2009 7:45:30 AM | | I had made arrangements to meet a woman over near where she lived one evening, it was our third date. I got hung up at work and was runnig a bit late and in my hurry got away without my cell phone. I ended up being 10 minutes late and could not find her anywhere. Went home found my cell phone and immediately called to apologize. We went out several more times after that before things went their course. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2009 1:00:49 PM | (1) Wait 15 minutes unless you receive a call with additional information. If you haven't given him your phone number, call him. If he hasn't given you his, leave.
(2) If you feel like calling or emailing after that, do so only to tell him you were there and he wasted your time. Otherwise, don't bother.
(3) You weren't as important as whatever made him late. Interpret that as you see fit. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2009 1:18:55 PM | Landra2 got this exactly right in my opinion.
Generally, wait 30 minutes and attempt to call before you leave. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2009 5:50:57 PM | 1. Depends on if you've spoken to him on the phone to confirm if he's coming or not. (30 min)
2. Did you have his cell to call him while you were waiting?
3. Depends- One you're assuming he's sane! LOL (jk) Who knows maybe he went to the wrong location to a restaurant with the same name. Maybe he got hit by a bus. Maybe he chickened out when he saw you because he wasn't worthy!
I'm sorry that you got stood up! | |
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Posted: 7/17/2009 6:00:40 PM | Hun, I had a guy from here stand me up once. By 20 minutes late, I told him my time was very important to me and I deserve someone not out to waste it and blocked him everywhere.
A few months later, after I remade my profile. He came back very sorry. He said he was an idiot back then and I let him make a date for a week later. We talked all week and the time he was supposed to come, he was a no show.
Now burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, I am going to get your ass. I wrote an email so dastardly and rude that it would ensure he learned some sort of lesson. I am sure he felt as bad and rejected as I did. Anyone who tells you that people can treat you how ever they like and you should just ignore them are weak.
Don't call him or email him unless you are going to be really mature and tell him how relieved you are that a goofy looking creep with no balls didn't show up. Apologize for your desperate moment and tell him it was for the best. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2009 6:25:03 PM |
I don't use cell phones and try to call (message them) before leaving to let them know I'm on my way and what I'm wearing so they can identify me. [/qiote]
Why not? Do you not want to be identified? I don't get it. Sorry, typos/[poor grammar. I don't use a cell phone, thus can't be reached while I'm on the road, in transit. I DO try to call someone (or message via email) to let them know that I'm leaving my house and am now in transit. Just met someone again after about 10 months of no-see. Called her from work to let her know I was leaving. Got home and realized she had just called my house. Called her back and found out she got off work a little later. She said she'd call again when she was near the destination (park near my house that we met at last summer) She did call again and said she was nearby. I left and still got to the destination about 5 mins early. Good communications. I've yet to be stood up. But, I'm sure there's a 1st time for everything, I've also never stood anyone up. I just don't do rude that way. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2009 6:36:38 PM |
1. How long do I wait?
2. Do I call or email him?
3. What would make a sane person make plans and then stand someone up?
1. 20 minutes
2. i would have called the minute they were late, but then again, i'm very punctual.
3. don't know; you should have called him
my condolences. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2009 3:31:03 PM | | I always call or text to confirm about 2 hours before the actual meeting. I tell them that I haven't heard from them, we have a meeting planned at (insert time and place) and that if I don't heard back from them then I will assume the date has been canceled. This has worked really well for me so far. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2009 8:04:48 PM | | Hi. I recently met a guy and we talked for several weeks and decided to meet. We chose a place where we could sit outside and talk, a marina resturant, and were to have lunch. He never showed up!!!! We had spoken the night before. I called his cell, no answer ever again, wrote on this site and see where he read it! So rude. I just cannot imagine doing something like that. Until I realized he had read the note where I asked if he was Ok, or what had happened, I thought that for sure he must have had something happen....silly me. Anyway, guess it happens. | |
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