| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/16/2009 12:46:29 PM | I guess I read this wrong the first time silly me.
I would get up earlier to drink coffee with you.
I would include you in our decisions and have respect for your thoughts
I would make you nummy things to fatten you up if your skinny and make nutritous meals if you need to watch things.
I would be nice to your mom weather I like her or not.
I will camp with you in a tent even though I would rather do a motorhome or pop up if we have an air mattress.
I will ride on the back of your motorcycle for a short time eventhough I am a big scaredy cat.
I will try to see the interest in the things you like because I like to see you happy.
I will not talk about you behind your back eventhough I might get mad.
I will have your back and honor your wishes that you decide for yourself.
I will be affectionate to you when you are feeling lonely even when I am crabby. | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:25:52 PM | i'd try to learn enough about the things he cares about to maybe hold up an end in the conversation, or at least to be able to ask reasonably relevant questions.
i'd participate in new activities if company were wanted, or sit back and tend my own fire if it weren't.
i'd be willing to negotiate, and ask questions of myself as well as listen and engage in order to seek mutually good compromises (maybe this is not so much a change as something i'm just willing to do that would be new, since i don't have to compromise now!).
i'd be willing to learn a modicum of ability in another language.
dealbreakers? person would need to have: oh, financial and personal responsibility. kindness and compassion for others. openness. the person would have be smart and interested in intellectual, political and theoretical discussions, or i'd probably drive him up the wall (not on purpose). not into TV or sound on all the time in the house, or if so, agreeable to LTA. self-aware and self-reflective. spiritual without rigidity. into mutual support as well as independence. and mutually not sweating the small stuff.
apart from that, i'd be willing to change in other ways that might come up as issues-- who knows what the future might hold? being resilient and doing things to please others-- things that really do please them-- i find makes me happy. so... | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:45:58 PM | I would actually be really happy to be home,,and see him.
I would enjoy the comfort of his heart, eyes, hands, lips, and touch every one everyday.
I would talk to him and really really listen
I would enjoy the special times together.
I would enjoy our times apart.
I would be a part of a team,,working for the betterment for both of us.
I would share the shower, the bed, and all the furniture.
If we argued..we might have to apologize more than once..( yea I like making up.>>>)
The other stuff...just stuff.... Im sure either of us would be capable of taking care of it..maybe even switch responsibilites every once in awhile.
So I might really change into a better person..and so might they...love can do that. | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:55:42 PM | Nothing...
I'm happy...so why I have to change anything in myself?
I'm responsible for everything...my physical...intellectual...emotional and spiritual condition...I respect myself...I know my limits...I have my family and friends...if my partner can't help me...I can count on them...I'm responsible for learning new things in new relationship...showing my personality...my needs and desires.
And of course...I will not tolerate any unhealthy intense in that matter!
I'm just ideal... | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:59:05 PM | karma wrote:
I guess I read this wrong the first time silly me.
I would get up earlier to drink coffee with you.
I would include you in our decisions and have respect for your thoughts
I would make you nummy things to fatten you up if your skinny and make nutritous meals if you need to watch things.
I would be nice to your mom weather I like her or not.
I will camp with you in a tent even though I would rather do a motorhome or pop up if we have an air mattress.
I will ride on the back of your motorcycle for a short time eventhough I am a big scaredy cat.
I will try to see the interest in the things you like because I like to see you happy.
I will not talk about you behind your back eventhough I might get mad.
I will have your back and honor your wishes that you decide for yourself.
I will be affectionate to you when you are feeling lonely even when I am crabby.
Beautiful.
If we are dating, I'll do things with you that I would ordinarily avoid;
If we are married, then I think it appropriate to think of a good portion of our life as intertwined: some of me, some of you; a little of me, a little of you.
But the core values, that which is the essential me, will never change: it is what makes me, me. Presumably, you fell for and stayed with me for that most elemental aspect of who I am - not the mope with the bag o'er his head and the little budda belly - as attractive as that may be. The expression of those core values can alter a bit, but not their essense.
TK
{It's a paper bag, not plastic - those can be a choking hazard! Ask how I know} | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:19:59 AM | DaytonDennis wrote: [How much are you willing to change? Toilet paper over or under? No problem... Folding laundry - no problem! I can adjust to those.. But what are potential deal breakers for you? I want to go on a camping/fishing trip with just my brother and another male friend... would you allow that? Would that bother you? What are those things you just wouldn't "compromise" about yourself?]
Replacing the empty roll of toilet paper is a plus! Who cares if it's over or under.
So, you want to go on a "guy's camping trip", I'd even let you use my tent, stove, lantern etc., let me help you pack! Women in their 40s and 50s can find something meaningful to do while you are gone. I don't even feel the need to sit with you while you watch sports on tv.
Seriously, I wouldn't compromise anything. You like me or you don't, isn't that easy enough to understand. When you meet someone and you like them for who and how they are, why would you want to change them to be "someone else". Seems rather strange to me. Alright, I said I wouldn't change a thing, but thinking about this .... perhaps my locale, but not right away, perhaps not even within a year. I'd even travel back and forth and expect that the other person would as well. | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:49:07 AM | Karma writes:
I guess I read this wrong the first time silly me.
I would get up earlier to drink coffee with you.
I would include you in our decisions and have respect for your thoughts
I would make you nummy things to fatten you up if your skinny and make nutritous meals if you need to watch things.
I would be nice to your mom weather I like her or not.
I will camp with you in a tent even though I would rather do a motorhome or pop up if we have an air mattress.
I will ride on the back of your motorcycle for a short time eventhough I am a big scaredy cat.
I will try to see the interest in the things you like because I like to see you happy.
I will not talk about you behind your back eventhough I might get mad.
I will have your back and honor your wishes that you decide for yourself.
I will be affectionate to you when you are feeling lonely even when I am crabby
wow, this I like! But would you canoe the boundary waters with me? 
why do they always live so far away? *sigh* | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 7:53:46 AM |
he's willing to live without running water (for a while, at least).
This is something I would not be able to do. Good for him! Wonder how long "a while" will be.
This is something I have to think about but right now I'm not willing to compromise much but then I'm not in love either so it's not an issue. I like having my space so I'm good for now. | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:14:38 AM | I believe that we are always changing, always evolving, but to change something about ourselves for someone else almost, repeat--ALMOST, never works in the long term.
Example: I was in an LTR with a man that I considered to be my one and only five years ago. One of the things about me that he knew about going in was that I was a smoker. I did want to quit and tried to several times during our relationship, but was not successful. One of the reasons he stated he left the relationship was my smoking habit. I couldn't quit smoking because he wanted me to, I had to do it because I wanted to.
Fastforward to two years ago.....I finally quit for good...for myself. He's gone, but that's OK. I believe I'm right where I'm supposed to be. | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:20:48 AM |
"I can live with that, or I can't". I think one of the sad things though, is I'm finding many women can find a thousand things to like about you, but let just one little thing creep onto that ledger that they don't like, and you are out of there.
Tho said in jest, how true, how true. | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:49:27 AM | Just put your best foot forward, be kind, polite, and I read this quote somewhere, that makes soo much sense !
"Just be yourself, If they don't like you for you, they're not going to like who you try to be." | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 9:21:48 AM | moraima, since you quoted my post about the toilet paper, if you had read others responses you'd see I just picked up on another posters comments about toilet paper.
And there's been others.
To me, I could care less which way it comes off, it's not and issue for me, but if it makes them feel more comfortable one way or the other so what? Does it hurt to do it, does it take more time? It's a little thing, but all thoughs little things add up! | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 11:26:42 AM | What would I ABSOLUTELY NOT CHANGE?
I would not give up my "me" time at the gym.
I would not give up any of my hobbies.
I would not give up my friends, or spending REASONABLE amounts of time with them.
I would not give up my life-goals.
I would not give up my religious or political beliefs (unless they showed me a way that I felt was truly better).
On the same hand--I would not expect them to change any of the above for me, either. Nor would I like it if they did. I want an individual, not a carbon copy of myself, sans penis. | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:21:35 PM | From something I posted a while back:
What would you do for love?
Posted: 5/7/2007 733 PM
For love
I would tell the truth
Pack your lunch
Wash your clothes
Pick-up your dry cleaning
Clean under your sink
Make biscuits
Love your friends
Watch you stumble, pick you up and not say a word
Hold your hand
Make mad passionate love to you and let you make mad passionate love to me.
Cry with you
Be angry with you
Laugh with you
Let you use the bathroom first
Put the seat down myself
Give you time/space for your stuff without whining
Make sure you get 12 hugs a day
What I won't do (for love)
Make fun of you to my friends
Assume you are a liar or a cheater (if you want to prove otherwise, so be it)
Treat you like a child
Lie to you
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 5:28:39 PM | cats said
By the same token hope he does not mind if I decide to spend an afternoon with one of my girlfriends..
As far as what I am not willing to compromise about goes:
1. What food is in our our home
2. He has to live with my cats and does not mind the time I spend daily grooming them
Anything else is negotiable.
When two hearts are opened to be touched with each other's company, and understand what means, the most to each other, then happiness shall rain and I'll be over for dinner! lol meow | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 5:59:56 PM |
I want to go on a camping/fishing trip with just my brother and another male friend... would you allow that? Would that bother you?
I would welcome the break, why not go for a month and really enjoy yourself.Allow?surely thats your decision.It would not bother me, in fact I would encourage regular fishing trips. | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/17/2009 11:35:49 PM | Toilet lid down, any grown man too stupid to put the lid down so nothing falls into the toilet is too stupid to date. Seriously, I'm not talking about the seat up or down for either, I mean the lid, the part that mean we both have to open and shut it to use it, the part that keeps things and babies and pets from falling in. Leaving the toilet lid up is just too damn dumb for words, deal breaker. And the toilet paper goes over the top but I can live with re-adjusting that, lid up, cannot work with that.
Camping trip with the guys, no problem, unless you are a liar and really doing something else  but time away from each other works for me, I love my time alone.
I wouldn't change myself, we work well together with our little idiosyncrasies or we don't, I"m not looking to change or to change someone. | |
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| LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 7/18/2009 11:24:24 AM | farceur ~~ Two peeps meet at the bathroom door: one is going to have to "let" the other use it first. . . . As for the second: it was in the I would NOT section. . .
Never agreed at the coffee clatches that men were just grown old little boys. (Maybe having six brothers disabused me of that notion, ya think?)
Hugz, Sherlock!
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