| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 5:06:27 PM | Yes, you can and I have. I, also, met a woman yesterday, who lives in the same apartment complex where I live, who also fell in love over the phone with a man she connected with on an internet dating site. After falling for each other via emails, IMs and phone calls, she flew here (Florida) from another country to meet this man and see if it was real. They are getting married next month. She has never been so happy and neither has he.
Another friend's brother fell in love with a woman in a different country via internet and they've been married 7 years.
A third friend is crazy about a woman he fell for online and their relationship, since meeting, is going very well.
Those are just a few of the people I know for whom falling in love over the phone was and is a reality.
I'm meeting my man in person Sept. 30th and I have NO doubts at all that it will be even better in person. Neither does he.
Give this man space and keep it casual until he feels secure enough to meet. Not all of us are on the same timetable. He's coming out of a bad marriage and may not be ready for a new relationship at this point. Having a special friend to talk with is probably helping him deal with the situation. Right now, be his friend. When the time is right, it may progress to more.
Good luck. | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 5:15:27 PM | I really fell in love with my latest cell phone. it's bells and whistles make me swoon still to this day.
infatuation, lust, is a mighty heady perfume. | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 5:16:18 PM | So you're getting involved with a married man via phone who claims he's "scared" to meet you? Hmm, how interesting.
It's funny how men can go to war, hunt wild animals, fight criminals, put out raging fires, race cars at over 200 mph, etc. etc. etc. but when it comes to meeting a phone-a-friend, a man is "scared."
So true.
And the flip side, women brag about all the pain they endure with menstrual cramps, childbirth, yet want to protect themselves from being "hurt, by taking it sloooooow...
Yes, and the human connection is far greater than the physical. The truth is, the things that make you connect are the strength you gain in opening up your mind. You're freeing yourself from needing a physical body to please your romantic pallet.
Connections are made and maintained, in the mind, whether in person or not.
When people are away from each other, they will use any and all means to feel re-connected to the person they have feelings for.
Yet claims are made that you cannot "connect" by those same means unless the relationship is already established....
To answer the OP, yes, anything is possible. Just as it is possible to fall in love with someone who you've never made "love" with.
The connection is in the mind.
*********************
Funny how women often exclaim that they want men to love them for who they "are" before they'll have sex, but then will claim that developing a deep connection other than in person is not possible.
Quite the paradox... | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 5:24:10 PM | You can can fall in love with the IDEA of falling in love. Chemistry on the phone doe not alwats equate to chemistry in person. What if he smells? Like really really smel. Think Toronto after two months into a garbage strike and you live ground zero to a temp dump.
You spent a month on the phone without meeting? Do live far apart? | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 6:37:38 PM | I think that you set up very unrealistic expectations for yourself by participating in this type of relationship. Obviously, if two people on this type of dating system talk a lot for a month and don't meet, there are some issues on both sides about really being interested in developing a relationship.
A good policy is to spend perhaps an hour speaking to someone on the phone and then go and meet in person. That will give you information about whether or not you want to get to know someone further. Your way of doing things doesn't work. You proved that. | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 6:52:55 PM | | No, I don't think so. At least not me. Chemistry matters! Science has proven that smell/taste/hormones/pheromones all affect that "falling in love" feeling! Me, I gotta get up close and personal to see if that spark is there! | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:15:58 PM | | I think we can become enamored with someone over the phone. Particularly if we haven't felt "connected " to someone in awhile, the process is very seducing - and if this exchange is going on for a month...you become "in love" with the way they connect with you in conversation, taking an interest in you, perhaps expressing concern etc - but as far as I'm concerned...it's not real, until it's real - meaning until the two of you meet - it's about the physical chemistry and comfort level in the reality. Him being scared.....listen to that truth of his, don't make this out to be more than what it is. He's separated and just coming into knowing what it is to be a single man again...he's going through his own process of the loss of his marriage, where maybe he was not feeling very connected to his spouse - so he needs you to download with and to share himself...he's vulnerable right now because of that -so you need to give him the space he needs to process it all, you may be vulnerable because you enjoy the attention and connection he's giving you - it's all good, just be in the moment and enjoy what you are sharing with him on the phone - but if that is not enough for you and he is scared to meet..you need to just respect that and continue on with it as it is or reach a decision for yourself about what you need to do - it's not about him, it's about what your needs are from a man and in a relationship. | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 8:06:49 PM | OP
I entered into an intense, deep phone (not sexual) relationship with someone here. We talked for hours every night for a month. Then he got scared to meet in person (being only separated). Has anyone else fallen in love over the phone only? I am having a really hard time getting over this and was just wondering if it is really just infatuation.
I’ve been getting several calls per week from a lady who offers and operates duct-cleaning services.
I think, now I understand why she keeps calling. | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 8:09:10 PM | Well pretty silly to get involved with a man who's still married, let alone develop a relationship, and then fall for him and believe you're in a meaningful relationship with a married, phone friend from online.....
And you're having a hard time "getting over it"?
Is it an infatuation?
Yi yi yi yi yi.
So many things to say and how to do so????????
1. Don't form relationships with married men who you meet on the internet.
2. Don't have an intimate relationship with married men who you meet on the internet and have never met in person.
3. Don't allow fantasy, emotional impetuosity and loneliness to cause you to consider yourself to be experiencing real adult emotions and feelings for a total stranger who is married who you have never met in person and "go to know" on the internet on a dating site.
4. Consider professional mental and emotional counseling about your emotions and their lack of stability and certainty in the realm of being rational and considering your own personal safety before taking drastic risks with strangers in the realm of love and dating.
Good luck~ | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:18:02 PM | A lot of people have good advice and ideas here.
The problem with phones and Email is you take the things that you don't know and fill in the blanks with what you hope for. This leads to the person seeming better then they are.
I always try to keep the Email/Phone phase of internet dating really short. I am a passionate person and I know my weakness lies in the "fill in the blanks" mentality.
But to repeat what another wise person said, "You can fall in love with your perception". You can not fall in love with a real person without meeting them.
Good luck to you. | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:09:44 PM | | It's possible to fall in love over the phone or the internet, and it can sometimes be more "true" since you're simply loving their personality and there's no physical interaction. The down side, however, is that most people using online/phone dating are either lying about shit/or/ socially defective and refuse to meet you when the time comes. It's best to not fall too hard for somebody until you actually meet them because they can be totally different in reality. | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:55:02 PM | Alright, I have a story for you....
I met a guy online on a dating website..and it turned out he was in the Marines and was being deployed to Afghanistan. He and I got VERY close the month before he left..talking on the phone every chance he got away from his chaotic life of training and getting ready to go overseas. Then, one day..after our conversation, we hung up.. I thought to myself that I was REALLY falling in love with this guy, and I had YET to actually meet him in person. We had our webcam dates, etc..all of which were non sexual. When he was deployed, he called me every third day. One day, after we had hung up..he called back and expressed that he was in love with me..and that he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. I expressed my feelings for him, but told him that I'd have to meet him before any of this rest of our life thing. He was gone for 9 months.. and I was there in NC for his homecoming, with his entire family who I had met before him. He stepped off that bus and it ACTUALLY was love. A few months later, we were engaged. We talked everynight and I took my monthly trips out to see him from Chicago. Last month, while we were still together, he got married to someone else he had met two weeks before.
...I guess the point of my story to you is..to not let this image of this GREAT guy get in your head until you actually KNOW him face to face. He might seem like a great guy.. but if he claims he's "scared" to meet you..it's because he's keeping something from you. Don't let it get to a point where you think you love him so much that he's who you want to be with, because you're setting yourself up for a huge heartbreak. Don't let it get any farther until you meet him..I don't want to see you end up hurt..because I completely know how it feels.
I hope this helps.  | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/16/2009 11:07:18 PM | Hmmm..............well men seem to fall in love with me when they hear my voice on the phone but I'm thinking that's called LUST 
I'm also thinking they've got me confused with the 1800 number they usually call.................... | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/17/2009 6:06:35 AM |
you’re falling in love with an idea in your head not with the actual person
^^^^ this is the truest statement! Kudos to you RandomDrew, you hit the nail on the head!! | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/17/2009 6:17:37 AM | "you’re falling in love with an idea in your head not with the actual person."
This is always true when a person falls in love. They are in love with the hope, the idea, or a fantasy. Only in time can you know the person and truly love the person.
This is a part of what distinguishes being "in love", with actually loving a person.
Can you love a person before you meet them and spend time with: no. Can you be "in love": of course!
Been there. Done that. Fell in love on line and over the phone, spent several months in person with her, now I love her. | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/17/2009 6:29:22 AM | I have to agree with this:
"you’re falling in love with an idea in your head not with the actual person."
You have notes, you have phone convo .. but you Don't have a Real person (yet). For all you know the person you are chatting with could be Literally ANYONE. Pics can be faked, so can profile info, so can phone info .. those nigerian scam artists sit 20++in a room - ALL chatting online And on the phone! Why? - Because it works. Because lonely people Want to .. and so they do - Fall for it.
Your suitor 'could be' a 14 year old boy with an adult voice. Could be a woman with a deeper voice .. could be a middle aged married man, a senior lonely man ... could be Jerry Springers show creating it's own story line!! lol .. sorry - but it Could!..
Very early on, when I first got my computer - I "met" a guy who lives 2200 miles away .. we yakked for 7/8 months before I finally went to meet him. cough .. he was about 20 years younger than he claimed and he was (probly still is) married! .. ohhh I was soo in "love" .. (In Fatuated maybe!) .. .. that said - the trip 'there' and the trip 'home' were good. The actual visit? VERY eye opening.
Now (since learning that lesson early on) - IF 'we' feel there is a connection worthy persuing - 'we' meet ASAP -
IF I were chatting with a "Man" who told me he was 'asceered' to meet ??? omfg - I would immediately move on. "Men" are not afraid to 'meet' - players hesitate until they know they 'have you' or until they know you've bought their game, marrieds are 'afraid' to meet - esp in their home town!! obvious reasons! .. Teens pretending to be adults - ain't gonna meet ya ..
Basically - Those who Misrepresent themselves and/or who have No Intention of meeting and/or being who you 'think' they are - Won't want to meet .. until they think they've got you 'hooked' .. if ever.
Connecting online?? Meet ASAP .. avoid scams, illusions and wasting your prescious time.
jmho | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/17/2009 7:35:16 AM | [ vg said quote]Message: ~OP~ There is a great deal of comfort in having someone on the other end of the phone (or IM for that matter) at times. I seem to do best in those "relationships" than in the real deal but it's not really "love" that I'm feeling, it's being in love with the company or lack of aloneness 24/7 that gets me.
A good point as when your hurting and lonely this relief and the mental pain which you are going through can help.
Now to think it's something more gets a bit fuzzy when the smoke has cleared and the rebound syndrome wears off and the big picture in what you really want and need in your life.and the other person for that matter in his or hers m o.
Many folks like to help as it's helps themselves too, yet to ride it through together is another story. Good luck and chose wisely for the real keepers. | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/17/2009 7:48:29 AM | | That's impossible. Love is something that doesn't happen over several phone conversations. Don't confuse love with lust. Love is sharing, touching and getting to know someone. It doesn't happen over phone conversations. Unconditional love is something special. The mind is a powerfull tool. You need to move on and get off the phone. | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/17/2009 10:40:15 AM | It's nice to hear their voice and the mind can get spinning but nothing replaces face to face conversation where one can see another not only in their natural beauty but also in action.  | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/17/2009 10:51:12 AM | Only addressing your question, not your situation...while it seems like you should be able to logically say "Of course not, you don't really know the person just from talking on the phone," my answer is "YES". You definitely can fall in love with someone before you meet in person.
I say this from experience. Now, whether you're falling in love with your perception of who someone is or the REAL person is a different issue, but that doesn't change your feelings.
I've done it twice. The first time was back in 1998. I met a guy online who was in the Navy, stationed in Japan. We talked for about a year before we met in person and it was great. It didn't end up working out, but it was real love. To this day, I think of him as my first true love.
The second time was just 2.5 yrs. ago. I met someone on CL and we talked for almost 2 months before meeting. Our first phone call lasted 6 hours. We were both head over heels before we met and we discussed how it might not be real, etc. and we tried to keep our expectations low, but the second I walked into his place, it was on.
We were together for almost 3 yrs.
So yeah, my answer is yes. You can. Just try to keep your head on straight and understand that the first blush of love, whether over the phone or in person, can sometimes be deceiving. | |
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| Can you fall in love over the phone?
Posted: 7/17/2009 11:18:18 AM | Only if they are an idiot. Seriously, we could be whoever we wanted to be over the phone. It is not until you've experienced folks in person on a regular basis that you truly begin to understand know them on a personal level.  Him backing out at the last minute should tell you something. IMO you've invested too much time and emotion. | |
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