| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:08:24 PM | | There's alot to consider here - he may be the nicest guy in the world and very good to you...I guess time will tell if he's learned his lesson, but I can tell you...he may face many diffuculties and get very frusterated trying to "fit" back in. As for your parents, they only really want what's best for you. Don't lie to them, that will make it worse. If he is truly trying to make a change, he will be a man and admit his mistakes and own them..if he doesn't than that's really something to consider. Give it some more time and see where it goes, but pay close attention. Good luck! | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:11:51 PM | | One more thing.... I have scars from him... crooked nose. scars from being thrown thru a window. etc. When I first met him I never would have thought he would ever hurt me. He hurt me every way he could have. mentally, body, mind, spirit and then my child. Don't let this be you. Run girl run. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:13:00 PM | Iceman! Long time no see! Well, OP, I can't really advise you. Time will tell.
I had a friend do federal time once, in Canada. He told me " I went in with an azzh*le and came out with a manhole."
I committed crimes. What they call victim less crimes. If there really is such a thing. I never got caught. I must be blessed because a little guy like me in prison...
Two choices: I get raped or I murder. Not good. Not good.
Yes, people can change. I did. 5.5 years clean and sober, and some people would say that I am some kind of ticking time bomb. I'm gonna slip! Don't take a chance on me!
I don't care what people say or think. I can't change my past. No one can. You can choose your future to some degree.
This guy is marked. No doubt about it. Long odds. You're going to get 3 or 4 pages of advice pro and con. In the end it's up to you. As uncomfortable as that is. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:18:46 PM | I think you should make 100% sure that the reason he's given you for being in prison is the real reason. When I was young and stupid I'd accept a person's word on this. I learned not to and I advise you not to. Also be aware that the crime he was sentenced for is unlikely to be his only crime.
Since you are dependent on your parents, I would say that for their sake, you must be careful. I put my parents through so much worry when I got involved with a wrong 'un. You might not fear for yourself but please have a care for those around you. These men can be brilliant at telling you just what your heart aches to hear and those people who are trustworthy and decent tend to have trustworthy natures their entire lives and would be highly unlikely to end up in prison for the deliberate cold-blooded decision-making associated with burglary.
Be careful: not just for your own sake but for the sake of your parents who will, and rightly so, find it very worrying. Be entirely honest with them -- you are dependent upon them and they love you dearly -- don't deceive them, do respect their opinions and guidance. Take your time to get to know him and know yourself too, well enough to know how much of what you see is influenced by your wishful thinking. He might be a decent person, but the odds are that he isn't so just take plenty of time and don't deceive yourself over it just because he acts nice to you. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:06:08 PM | erved 3 years which is a minimum sentence for Home invasion second degree......its not about him being a bad boy its deeper than that he is a good guy........ we all make mistakes i know i have.....
He may or may not be a good guy, but you have barely had a chance to get to know him. Be careful.
If you're going to tell your parents be prepared for an explosion. If they're paying all your living expenses I can see them using that to strong arm you into doing what they want. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:12:25 PM | | Home invasion is more than a simple mistake. People can change, however, I'd agree with your family for disagreeing about it. You sound too love struck at the moment, get some fresh air and think about it logically. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:21:28 PM | For stepping up.... Now is anybody gonna step up & tell the girls to run from this one ??? Yea, doubt it!
^^^
sweetb2006: I looked at your profile and since I can't message you directly I would like to say this (no offence) you got those few extra pounds in exactly the right places. Damn girl! | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:25:52 PM | Girl, hook up with the coppers, they are so much sexier, they wont pull any home invasions, and you can introduce him to your folks.
They have really good handcuffs too.
Seriously, home invasion?
I guess im justs odd that a home-invader is not anyone i want to say hello on the street to, let alone commence a relationship with.
What if he needs a crack fix and decides to incade your home?
Thats scary. Please be safe and reconsider this.
This isnt someone who neglected to pay a ticket or had a measly joint on them, or got drunk and rowdy in public, this is freaking HOME INVASION!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:27:16 PM | OP don't tell them...they don't need to know; it's your life not theirs.
umm...she's got to tell them since she said they support her 100% financially which means she either is not working or a student. so therefore they have every right to KNOW. maybe you should have read her whole post first before advising her. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:28:34 PM | I would pass up the crappy advice given by the horn dog and lonely mother.
This girl is asking for advice about her relationship, not retarded ass alternatives that you would do (which is the reason you're e-dating anyways). | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:28:45 PM | I don't know what to say, OP as far as encouragement. I no longer want guys with records. From what I see they are pretty much unemployable as in even McDonald's won't hire him.
I see these guys repeat their crimes. Home invasion is nothing to sneeze at. I'd be afraid to bring him home.
And 3 yrs in prison? We all heard the stories what guys do since they are denied women. What if he was someone's prison b---- and has HIV? | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:40:20 PM | ......bodypro8......
And you sir are frakin adorable...  Your profile is so ridiculously funny, I luv it!
If I wasn't so anti-favorites list I would So fall for your ploy to get added. 
I haven't read all your post but damn well plan to play catch up tomorrow (bit late here). | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:48:18 PM | Aligirl ... you sound so much like me at that age, it almost makes me laugh. Therefore, I know you don't want to hear anything "bad" or discouraging - as it will only make you more defensive of "him".
But, you do owe it to your parents to tell them the truth, and let them decide if they want to welcome him in their home or not.
Yes, some people can change ... but some can't. I hope for your sake "he" is one who wants to/can change. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:49:10 PM |
Girl, hook up with the coppers, they are so much sexier, they wont pull any home invasions, and you can introduce him to your folks.
Oh yea, goodness knows those cops don't do crimes! 
I could go on about doctors, lawyers, etc... but again... Not really trying to argue that she should be extra cautious per se... but the assumptions make me ill...  | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:56:18 PM | this kind of thread just makes me want to wretch.
Looking to online strangers for affirmation about rediculously assinine questions like this one still boggles the mind. More so, my actually wasting time responding just drags me right down to the "level" or as I think The Rock man said.. water finds it's level.
You are actually trying to suggest that people should encourage you to take an ex-con to your families home and then tell them what and who he is???
I hate to do this, but I have to wonder what kind of parents you may have if you actually have to ask this question. I mean seriously... if my daughter even remotely tried to pull a stunt like this I would in no terms tell her to get the fuk out of my house and not come back until she had rid herself of the "ex-con".
Now don't get me wrong. YES people can turn their lives around and I am sure some do. HOWEVER, you need to have a VERY long history with the reformer before you can introduce him into a situation like this.
Rant done. I will step away from the podium and allow the next guest speaker up to the mike.
This thing on??? TAP TAP TAP | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 11:13:58 PM | | First of all, this is a new relationship. The both of you are still learning about each other and it's always so wonderful in the beginning and we always hope that the honeymoon will continue forever. There is no need to tell your parents now about your bf's past. When and if the both of you realize you are each other's soul mate, you are hopefully supporting yourself at this time, I still dont see a valid reason to tell your parents. Hopefully this forum has helped you and I wish you luck. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/16/2009 11:44:38 PM | Even if he does change, there is a lot to look at, and this comes from experience. First, he can't vote if it's a felony conviction. EVER. That says something.
Second, prison changes a person, and not for the better. They get bitter about time lost and the perception of people "on the outside" towards ex cons.
Third, a conviction wqill severely limit his career and job opportunities for the next several years, and possibly permanently, not to mention what being gone does to someone's credit and ability to buy a home, car, basics like that. When he can't find a decent job, guess what option will float through his head? "I'll only do it this one time. I have bills to pay".
If you have not completely fallen for this man, think about the long term effect, especially if your parents kick you out for choosing to associate with him. So you'll live with him, right? Most landlords do background and credit checks, so good luck there. Honey, you can do better. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:17:58 AM | | People who end up in the tank have poor impulse control. On top of that, it is difficult for felons to get good if any jobs. If you are thinking long term, how do you expect to get a home loan with something like that on his record? What if you got pregnant? How has he shown you he would be willing and be able to support a child? Part of a person's reputation is who they are themself, part who their family is, and the other part, the company that they keep-How can you say 'so what?' Your whole life could be affected by this decision. I don't even know you, but I wish you would take yourself more seriously and value yourself and your life! Choices always have consequences...and PS, every criminal has some good points about him-the flashing Neon 'watchout' sign only comes with the supa bad headliner felons, so take heed of the info you've accumulated about this 'great' felon thus far sister! | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:25:26 AM | | The fact that this guy got caught means that A. he stole or caused over 10K in losses and B. that the occupents of said home KNEW HIM!!! | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:00:19 AM | Nelson Mandella was imprisoned
Malcom X was imprisoned
but then again, A Hitler was imprisoned as well 
the list goes on....
sure people change... should an ex-con also not be entitled to returning to a normal life? that seems hardly fair. | |
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For stepping up.... 
Now is anybody gonna step up & tell the girls to run from this one 
??? Yea, doubt it! 
)
