| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:52:22 AM | Okay let's review the known facts:
1. You're 22
2. You've known Mister Amazing for 1 month
3. You are 100% financially dependent on your parents.
What I get out of this :
1. You don't really know much about this guy yet. You may think you do, but it's impossible for anyone to know much about another, especially when you're still in the early blushes of a new romance.
2. I suspect you don't believe, and won't accept, conclusion number 1.
3. I think I'd wait another couple of months before inviting Mr Amazing back to the family home. Let's see how nice he really is after you've hit a couple of bumps in the road and had a fight or two. Then his true colors will start bleeding out. This is going to be tough, seeing how you still live at home. But that is my advice. I was a kid once. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 5:02:07 AM | | As a corrections officer in a state prison....I would have a hard time with any of my children dating an ex con....doesnt matter what they did....home invasion?Burglary....specially wouldnt want a guy like that around my home....only because of not being sure if hes done with the life style.....dont ask people or family to accept what you have...specially if they dont want to....yep he might have made a mistake but has to prove himself......not only to you but anyone he comes in contact with who knows the deal....Good luck | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 5:44:27 AM | No cooldudeinberlin, being imprisoned for your political beliefs is one thing , in the case of Mandela , and I dont think Malcolm X girlfriend was concerned about introducing him to her folks.
Yes some people can change, and we dont know about this guy, but the girl in question seems to have poor judgment, living at home with her parents , her parents financially supporting her 100% and has admitted, not sure why, that she used to sell drugs and rip off her parents, but she has changed according to her, and trying to hook up with a guy who was convicted of home invasion?? we're not talking about some guy getting into a brawl at a bar every weekend or unpaid parking fines either.
Bottom line is she lives at her parents place, she's a adult, time to start acting like one.
Body-pro whats going brother J, out in British Columbia and the good weather. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 7:27:05 AM | You tell them the truth. Mom Dad, this is my boyfriend Bob. He is currently on parole and living in a half way house, he spent three years in prison after being convicted of burglary/home invasion. He has been out a month.
Then let them decide if they want him anywhere near their home. The decision is 100% theirs and as an adult you have the right to move out if you do not agree with them. Smoking weed or drinking as a teen may not be the best behavior but it is heads and tails above dating an recent Ex Con. Many people would consider that a HUGE error in judgement.
Had his run in with the law been a decade before, with years of sobriety, employment and good citizenship since your parents might be more welcoming. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 9:52:33 AM | | hmmm so did Aligirl's bf get mad and delete her profile or did Aligirl not like that being older and wiser we know where this relationship will head. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 10:27:41 AM | | I just ended my relationship with an ex-convict because the whole time we were together it was crazy. I know everyone is different but I'm just warning you to be careful, things may seem good now, but with my experience convicts always go back to their old ways. My guy had a long past of crimes and drugs and never got a job and ended up back in jail for a while(some how he got out of going back to prison for 8-10.) I honestly wouldn't tell your family yet, wait and see if he can get his life back on track and see how the relationonship progresses first. I really wish you guys the best!! | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:46:43 PM | OP...I believe people can change...not that they DO change - but they can. Your guy...who knows? Home invasion is pretty serious stuff. Assuming he is around your age - maybe some crimes would be youth gone wild...like your own drug experiences. However - home invasion gives me pause. He's only been out a month, how do you know he's changed, in fact - how does he? In this job market an ex-con just out probably is going to have a tough time with finding work - what's going to happen 6 months from now when he can't earn a living? I'd be very, very concerned.
As for your parents - if they are supporting you, and he's going to be moving in or "hanging around" - they are going to want to know what he's doing with his life, and his background. You can lie, or tell them the truth. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:04:17 PM | Sometimes prison does change a person for the better. Sometimes
if you say so........................I'm not holding my breath.............
I would say it can change some people. Some times they come out much much worse then before they went in. But I know what you mean.
bodypro great post........... | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:09:38 PM | | I doubt that was his first brush with the law..or his first home invasion..he just happened to get caught..i'd look a bit deeper into his past..and do some solid research. Does he currently have a job...and/or can he support you? If they were to cut you off, could he support you? | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:30:49 PM |
I am defiantely (sp)being bashed because of my age jesus christ!
I've had the privilege of working with some of the best young minds in the world, as an academic. Age is a chronological measurement; maturity is not chronological, it's acquired through wisdom. Your parents may have some wisdom that will never allow them to see a young daughter matched up with an ex-convict.
The best way to find out is to communicate with them, expressing your feelings about your potential partner and also giving them as many facts as you can about his chances for straightening his life out. You should also be open to their ideas and suggestions, in other words, go in with an open mind.
People do change, and perhaps this is one instance where it might happen. Only your potential boyfriend can decide. But, statistically speaking, based on patterns of recidivism, you are certainly stacking the odds against things falling in your favor. Why settle for that? It's one thing is you are independently wealthy and can withstand some financial, and personal, losses; it's another thing when you're taking chances on someone else's tab.
To be perfectly frank about things, it doesn't sound like you're the type of person who will listen to suggestions anyway. So, good luck with that. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:06:24 PM |
its not about him being a bad boy its deeper than that he is a good guy........ we all make mistakes i know i have.........
Hmm. How does a person do a home invasion by mistake? | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:13:32 PM | | Home invasion is serious stuff and in no way was done by accident. I would think your parents well be very upset no matter ant way you tell them. you really need to grow up and re think hooking up with a convict. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:22:35 PM | Ask your man why was he stealing? Did he needed the money to buy drugs? Did he have a job? People here have said that "home Invasion" means that the people knew him, so was he stealing from his own family, friends of the family? Again why?
My whole problem with this is that conviction seems to me like the tip of a bigger iceberg. Before people change, people need to come clean. I am a believer that if you did something once, you are capable of doing it again, and again. Only better. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:28:01 PM | OP...unless you seriously injure or kill somebody or sell a LOT of drugs or steal a LOT of money,it's very hard to go to prison.
If he did any of the above, then those reasons ALONE should convince you that he's a poor choice.
Going to prison requires an inability to act in a manner acceptable to society as well as an almost pathological (if not pathological) refusal to learn from previous lessons.
Unless that person has had many,many hours fo counseling and has changed their ways completely, they are almost certainly going to return to custody.
Unless you want parole officers,policemen,lawyers and judges to be constant companions you should avoid dating cons...or ex-cons,IMHO. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:28:41 PM | What else has he done?
Just because he got caught once and probably pleaded down...
You need to move on.
You only know what he wants you to know.
Tell your parents, you are dependent on them and live in there home.
I wouldn't let a roomate bring a con in my home much less a daughter I loved.
If they find out on their own, you will have hell to pay and maybe a street to live in or a hurt boyfriend and jailed Dad.
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:32:48 PM | | Your parents are 'overprotective' for good reason, they love you. If you think for a second that they will be worried (and deservedly so) that you're seeing a man with a record, you should break it off and you shouldn't consider keeping him a secret. Your parents are devoted to you, they sacrificed a lot to take proper care of you, and they don't deserve to be deceived. It's not that this man however good you say he is, is bad. It's just that you will live a harder life with him because of his record always being thrown back in his face. Since he has a record, he will never be able to get a 'really good job' to take care of you and your future children properly. You will live 'under the radar' so to speak. You will have to move frequently whenever somebody finds out he has a record. You'd be surprised how 'bad' people who live in 'good' neighborhoods can be. It will be a hard live and you have to consider ALL the pros and cons with taking up with him. Your parents have your best interests at heart. Love them back and don't deceive them. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:36:06 PM | anyone up for popcorn?
naahhhh! am sure he had only good motive and pure intentions when he was "home invading" and got caught on the very first time he ever did anything wrong in his life , and he is absolutely working his blood out to replay, dime and psychological trauma, the very very very bad people who house happen to beg to be invaded by such a great, moral, decent, outstanding citizen.
Ho heck! can someone give the city keys to that guy?! bah! it's OK, the op is about to give him her credit card and house keys...
pass me over the butter someone! | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:02:50 PM | Two case scenarios. You are going through a stage where you want to be independent and somewhat contrarian to your parent wishes. You like the idea of the bad boy, but in this case you hit the jack pot. So you think you like the guy, but you are almost certain that your parents are not going to like him, but unless they accept you as you are, well they don't care about you or your feelings. You take the ex-con home, mom freaks, dad freaks. He says that if you are going to date such person, you need to find your own place, because he doesn't want to fear coming home and having jewelry, tools, guns missing. You get really mad at them and leave with ex-con. You start to cool down since you began to ask him questions and you found out that he smokes too much pot, does meth and needs money to buy more stuff. Now you also get pregnant with his boy. Then you found out that he has stolen stuff again and is into a couple of deals. And he needs you to stash some stuff where nobody can find it. Only for a couple of days. You hide it over your parents. He gets caught, makes you accessory to the crime. He goes back to jail, you get probation. But now you are stuck with a baby.
Scenario two. You ask him about his past, all the details, realize that it's not for you. Go out with him a couple of more times, decide not to even invite him home. Then meet Jeff, like him better. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:59:35 PM |
he is a good guy
Sorry, but a good guy doesn't spend 3 yrs in prison for breaking and entering someone's private home.
Are there no men without a prison record you can find to date? | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:18:00 PM | | Ring ring...."Hello?" "Mom, Dad?" "Its me"... "Now I know that you have been supporting me 100 percent in the past. But hey, now I need you to hire a lawyer for me." "What's that?" "Why?" "Well you see it was like this.... I met this guy, and he said that he did 3 years in prison for home invasion. He is a really great guy... No honest... He knows what he did was wrong and now he is reformed.... "What? "What does this have to do with me and an Attorney?" Well he wanted to do another "home invasion" and wanted me to come along.... Daddy, how was I supposed to know that it was really robbing someones house.... I thought it was a video game we were playing... Honest Dad....Mom will you please tell Dad to quit laughing?" What??????" "I'm on my own?" Mommy but you can't leave me sitting here in jail.... What will I do? How will I get my nails done and go to school? This is not my fault..... I was played.... Mom, did Dad just say I was STUPID? Mommy tell him to quit laughing....Mommy? Daddy? Mommy? Daddy? | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:29:11 PM |
its not about him being a bad boy its deeper than that he is a good guy........ we all make mistakes.
You have to be kidding, right? Mistakes? Putting on a black sock with a dark blue sock - THAT is a mistake. Home invasion? You're joking, right. He is a good guy? Lady. Wake up and smell the coffee. Good guys don't go to prison. | |
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| So he has been in prison so what right?
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:39:15 PM | | I have no problem with him being released from prison , people change . They make mistakes . They learn from them ,its life.Now for you , you state your being 100%supported by your family ( if I read corectly ,Forgive me if Im wrong)tells me you cant support yourself for some reason at your age .And you dont want to jeoperdize that? So your imature and using your familyletting them support you?.Showing off your comonsense and judgement skills.Perhaps your not mature enough to chose if this relatioship is a good Idea .yup maybe mommy and daddy should help you decide this too.Id be sure and run it by them to be safe.You seem to come off very imature.Good luck. | |
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