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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 11:13:08 AM |
they gor for the a**hole guys.
The whiny "nice guys" are boring, just in reading their posts, let alone imagining what a woman might feel, if she were to date someone who thinks that what women want is men, who are submissive.
Never mind, the "nice guys" never get that most people are "nice" to each other, and most people don't consider that their best quality, or that it entitles them to the interest of someone else. "Nice" is something you are, by nature, but most women will think you're an ***hole, if you won't do things their way. In the long run, though, most women would prefer to be involved with a man who is secure enough in what he has to offer, to not have to become a "good puppy" whining under her feet. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 3:00:55 PM | Right on RenaissanceMan.
Self confidence is a very attractive quality. However I only think my man is an ***hole if he does not know when to compromise. And yes in a realtionship I have to compromise too. The only person I am interested in controling is myself and my life.
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 6:16:02 PM | Well ,yeah ,2 people from the 50's agree big suprise
times have changed ,things are different now | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 6:19:48 PM | Well ,yeah ,2 people from the 50's agree big suprise
times have changed ,things are different now
My last live with girlfriend, Kevin14206, was 7 years younger than you. The relationship I had before that, was with a woman 7 years older than you. My last date was with a women 6 years younger than me. That spans a 22 year age range.
So what age, specifically, do you think it is, where the nature of women, and the nature of men, have "drastically changed?" | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 6:39:40 PM |
^^^Kevin...LOL Makes you wonder if they still stuck in the past.
And what is the "brave new world"? Men sitting around whining about "what's wrong with women?"
Obviously, you missed the post right above your post. I was in a live with relationship with a 31 year old from last June until Feb., and she was neither a gold digger, nor looking for a "bad boy".
The interesting thing about those of us "stuck in the past", is that the two people you are "calling out", have been successfully dating and forming relationships. We aren't complaining about the opposite sex, nor feeling "entitled" to the interest and affections of other people, just by being "nice".
If the "new idea" is for men to be wusses, who whine and cry, when life isn't exactly as they like, I fear for the future, but I know it's not really. Most men still choose to be men, and when things don't go as they like, they suck it up, and make it happen. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 7:09:13 PM | what was she looking for??
and life is spelled L-I-F-E- not live | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 7:16:05 PM | | And why did the relationship only last from june till february | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 7:18:45 PM | | Weren't you buying her enough??? | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 7:25:54 PM | I was getting to that point sarcastically.
But you're right might as well get to the point. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 7:48:29 PM |
Thats funny...for a guy who claims he's had successful dates while forming relationships, you would think it would have at least lasted longer than 7 months. Who knows, maybe he finally found out that she was a gold digger?
80% of the time, in the 10 1/2 years since my divorce, I have been in a relationship. Relationships are formed for a reason, and last as long as they do, and then, hopefully, end at a time, when both people can part as friends.
None of that is relevant to the OP's original topic. The only reason it went off topic, is because the OP dismissed the opinions of those who are older, as being "behind the times", so I mentioned that I have dated and had relationships with women who are close to his age, so that I know that women didn't suddenly change from first hand experience.
There are 310 million people in the United States, slightly more than half of them female. One can find examples of almost every kind of attitude and behavior among that many people, so, of course, there are some "gold diggers", as there are some men, who are such cheapskates that they worry about "who pays for coffee", and regard following the social custom of the man being the host on a first date, as a woman being a "gold digger, just out for a free meal".
In the big picture, though, the nature of man and the nature of woman hasn't changed that much. If anything, younger women, with the same career options as men, have lowered their expectations of the man as being the primary "bread winner".
Women, by and large, are not attracted to men who are financially unstable. Who would be? Most men aren't attracted to women, either, whose lives are in chaos. However, if a man has a stable job, and is self-sufficient, the vast majority of women don't care about that part of things much. Some do, of course, but they are the minority.
What some threads are, though, are men who refuse to own their own experience, and who, rather than changing things about themselves, and how they approach dating, which might change things for the better....instead "blame" external things, or blame the opposite sex. Blaming women, for one's lack of success in dating, serves no positive purpose. Threads like this are about those who seek an excuse for failure, and want others to agree with them, that it's '"not your fault" so that they will feel "better" about their failure.
That's negative, and only serves to mire one in failure, rather than finding a path to success. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 7:58:55 PM | Most of your reply was insightful to most and I believe you make some good points
,but it is funny how all your relationships always end up as friends. I dont care who you are and where your from ,nobody believes that and that alone damages your credibility | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:00:55 PM | | Besides you neber answered the main question , What was she looking for at 31???????? | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:32:43 PM | | Not answering the question "what was she looking for???? is exactly relevant to the original post. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:34:51 PM | Besides you neber answered the main question , What was she looking for at 31????????
That particular woman was someone I had known, and dated, over a period that went back to a 4 year relationship I was in, that for the last year had frequent "break ups" lasting 3 months. I met her during one of those breakups, and while she was going through a divorce, and needed someone who was emotionally supportive.
She also had a poor relationship with her father, and was looking for postive, older male, advice and affirmation. So, yeah, off and on we had a "connection" that went back 3 years.
She had moved away, and was coming back to the area, and asked to get together, when she came. She ended up staying for 8 months, but we both knew, going in, that with a 29 year age difference, this wasn't going to be the "until death us do part", nor did I want to start all over again as a father to more children.
The last month or so, I helped her look for and find her own place. We made love the night before she moved, and have had friendly emails after she left.
No, she wasn't looking for a "sugar daddy", and yes, she is a very attractive woman...5'6", 120#, longish blond hair.
With one exception, of the 6 relationships I've had since my divorce, all but one ended with some ongoing friendship, at least for awhile. Emotionally healthy people don't need to be consumed with bitterness and anger towards someone they felt love, and with whom they shared a bed for a time.. In fact, knowing someone that way gives a strong foundation to a special form of friendship. If you don't believe that, then I feel sorry for you. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:50:20 PM | | It's not if I believe that or not ,it's if people in general believe that or not ,and they don't, I guess emotional needscould be another temporary reason for a women to want a man ,I didn't really take that into consideration ,finally I have a 3rd. catagory EMOTIONALLY F***** UP ,you said it renassance man1950 , NOT ME!!!!! | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:59:05 PM |
if people in general believe that or not ,and they don't, I guess emotional needscould be another temporary reason for a women to want a man ,I didn't really take that into consideration
Among people I know in real life, maintaining some degree of friendship, when relationships end is the norm. If some can't believe that, I'd have to wonder about their emotional stability.
Yes, people get into relationship for emotional needs. That seems rather obvious. It's not "f****ed up", in fact, it's a very good reason for people to come into each other's lives.
In any case, OP, a personal exchange between you and I is off topic, so rather than derail your thread further, I'll withdraw from the discussion. The points I intended to make have been made. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 7/18/2009 9:02:56 PM | | Of course!! ,I knew that was coming ,you put your foot in your mouth | |
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| women want?
Posted: 9/23/2009 12:51:34 AM | Truthfully Most women I know don't like money,they want entertainment,Lots and lots of it,(which costs money)Yar Methinks they don't want an eager beaver nice guy.(I'm trying to hide mine better)lol.My last GF I think wanted money when I ran out ouch! Oh well got some good action for awhile.(thank god my crazy is gone now) | |
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| women want?
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:24:07 AM | Theres a reason why theres so many nice guy and generalization posts.
Theres a problem with women in the dating world, and women need to work on changing themselves. Nuff said.
And at 22 noone should be expected to be able to financially support a wife and kid at that age. Not too often one can. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:43:32 AM | | I want a guy who will hold me when I'm sad...who won't push me away when I need him most. I want a guy who is faithful to me as I am faithful to him. I want a guy who tries to help out around the place once in a while, maybe takes the trash out or helps me with the laundry without me having to ask. I want a guy who is proud of me and wants to show me off in front of his friends and family, who is happy to be around me, who laughs with me, and doesn't put me down. I want a guy who will stand up for himself and tell me when I am wrong, yet apologize when he's hurt me, rather than me having to apologize to him for being hurt. I don't need a man with a lot of money or a lot of material possessions and I'm tired of dating "bad boys". I'm a good girl. I just want a good guy. How do I make it happen? | |
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| women want?
Posted: 9/23/2009 5:03:24 AM | I want a guy who is always there when I want him to be, lets me know he thinks of me all the time, works at a job he likes, does things with me that I want to do, is kind hearted and polite, and makes me want to rip off my clothes when I see him.
Yes if he happens to have some extra money to do some fun things that helps, I won't lie, but it depends on the particular guy. Other qualities are more important to me than money.
And I definitely want to be treated wonderfully.
All the women who are with men who treat them badly would be thrilled if these guys
stopped that and started treating them well. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 9/23/2009 5:45:25 AM |
Is there such a thing as a non-materialistic women??
Maybe there are exceptions ,but in general they want one of two things-
1.)they want a man to take care of them, money is everything
those who fit under this category material desire's blind them and have corrupt their minds as well as their hearts.
2.)they want the stereo-typical "bad boy" ,some women evidently like being mis-treated and cheated on. It seems when a women feel unwanted that makes them want the one rejecting them even more (emotions and issues?)Either way a "nice guy" always seems to get walked on.
My good man... You've just described two of the man different types of women out there.
Here's some real life insight for you to ponder.
1. The good looking slender women... oh yes... they're very much about the good looking bad boy. Regardless of whatever line of bullshit they try and feed you, 99% of them couldn't care less about settling down. And why should they? They've got more men to pick from then you have porn sites to browse. They're enjoying a life a free dinners, movies, dancing, and being wined and dined - nice guys are simply dolts they use to 'get the fax off the fax machine for them' at the office so they don't have to get off their ass to really do anything. Because they're good looking they feel a sense of entitlement. YOU better be damn fine because she has friends to impress. Doesn't matter how you really treat her because soon as she's bored with you, you're history.
2. The big'uns will put up with being treated like dirt 'cause they really can't get anything else. Unlike the hotties, they don't have a laundry list of good looking guys to call upon on that lonely Friday night.
3. The divorcee wants good looks and money. This is because she (like an idiot) married the wrong man in the first place, got knocked up and now has a couple of kids. Her ex dumped her for the big chested blonde at the office and now she's on her own. But, THIS time she's going to get what she "deserves" which is nothing short of great looking, great sense of humor and loaded with cash. You just have to get used to dealing with unruly kids because she feels guilty about the marriage falling apart and the effect it has on them, so she refuses to institute any real form of discipline. These are the kids you see running through the store wild with the 'soccer mom' close behind doing and saying nothing when little Jr about knocks you over on his way to the toy isle. She'll hold you to stupidly unrealistic expectations and boot you to the curb at the very first infraction of those expectations. Because THIS time she won't deal with it! She is after all (with two bratty kids and 20 extra pounds) worth it!
Welcome to the real world. You've just said what most of us already know - but feel will ever admit in a public forum. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 9/23/2009 6:00:31 AM |
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of
the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item
from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you
CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.
That is too fricking funny, however, has some valid points.
Many women think they are all that and so much more, so they continually look for perfection. They forget the fact that perfection doesn't exist and they pass up good opportunities. An obvious example are women who use IDs that contain hot, sexy, etc., and/or state that in their profiles. Well if they are so great, why are they still single? I'm sure this is the same for some men as well.
A most irritating thing is when women tout honesty, yet cannot be honest themselves or with themselves. They claim they want honesty, but quoting a line from the movie A Few Good Men "You can't handle the truth"! As soon as I'm honest about some things from my past, I often never hear back from them. A person cannot change their past, only their future. I'm certainly not proud of some things from my past, but I am proud of the adversities I've overcome. The past is the past. Get over it.
Another thing to look for is the reason behind a woman's failed marriage. A sure warning sign is when they say that it's because their husbands cheated. Hmm, and he cheated why? He couldn't handle how wonderful you were? Ok, what did you do? Rarely hear about that because it's always the guys fault for not being perfect like them.
Give up on figuring women out because that's impossible. They don't think the way men do and have way too many funky hormones guiding them and causing them to do things that make no logical sense whatsoever. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 9/23/2009 6:04:41 AM |
Theres a problem with women in the dating world, and women need to work on changing themselves. Nuff said
Everyone has issues, and everyone should be accountable and make the changes needed to 'survive' in todays world. Seeing 'men' constantly coming on here and whining about thier lack of success with women accomplishes what exactly? I know I have not been rewarded in life by whining, I had to get off my azz and do trhings to make things happen.
On Topic...life is an accumalation of your own choices. If you choose to date people who are only money humgry, or prefer to be treated like crap, that says just as much about you as it does them. There are lots of good, self sufficient women on POF, and if you cant find them, it is your issue. | |
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| women want?
Posted: 9/23/2009 6:09:41 AM | | cinsav, it appears that we are on the similar wavelengths, posted similar replies, and at nearly the same time. How's that for eerie? lol | |
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