| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:17:20 PM | | Your beautiful, it could be that is what scared him off. Maybe your better than what he has been meeting so far. I notice both men and women can be scared off by potential partners that are better than what they have been dating up until that point. Case in point I have had female friends tell me that when the chance to date a good guy came up they were too scared and sabotaged it before it got off the ground. Good luck out there. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:58:12 PM | He just plain flaked out on you. Lots of people (men and women) on this site get the last minute ditch, or no-show. It's nothing you did most likely, it's an issue of courage on their part.
They can be confident and friendly from the relative safety of their keyboard, but when the reality of going out into the real world with real people strikes, they get very nervous and chicken out. They don't call because they would basically have to own those cowardly thoughts, and want to avoid any chance of confrontation from it. Don't take it personally. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:56:39 AM | i don't take it personally at all and thankyou touchdown bundy for the advice and everyone else as well.
i was just taken aback because i have never had this happen before. this isn't my first time online dating and i have gone out with a few guys so this is the first time i have had someone i met through a dating site do this. thats why i was so confused. i haven't given my power away as someone said by getting over emotional or anything like that. i wasn't sitting in my apt moping around waiting for him to call, i just thought we were on the same page and didnt see it coming.
thats what i get for trying to see the good in people. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:36:30 PM | | Same thing happend to me more than once. I don't get it. Just be decent & say you changed your mind or something. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:51:52 PM |
HE IS A JERK AND AN ASS.....I have had this happen to me also. Mostly these men think they're "all that" and they really are not
not to excuse irresponsible behavior, but there can be more to it than this. i once drove a half hour to a woman's house for a first meet (yes, she asked me to pick her up at home) and she wouldn't come to the door. her daughter said she was too sick. she was a widow, and i'm guessing it was some kind of anxiety disorder and she really was sick to her stomach. she'd sounded great on the phone.
stuff can be complicated. sharlena wanted to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. regardless of his actual thought process, that speaks well for her willingness to see the good in people. if she still has that in another 10 or 20 years, god bless her as stronger than most in a world where cynicism can be the easiest course. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/19/2009 9:17:44 PM | | I have been stood up myself and i even talked to him before he supposedly left to come see me. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:15:43 PM |
Gosh we read about this way too many times. These people just don't understand how hurtful this can be, to get all excited & pick out your cutest outfit & think of fun things to talk about, then nothing, the creep is a no show. Wow how devestating. But the worse part is wasting all that good makeup & hairspray! LOL, don't let it get to you, it's his loss.
I was stood up, too, last year by an a**hole that I had talked to on the phone for about two weeks, as well as e-mail/chat. We had set up a nice date to finally meet and I went through the trouble getting dressed up, hair, nails, the whole thing. He was a no-show at the restaurant. We had even talked earlier in the day and we were still on that evening. That would've been the perfect time to tell me he couldn't make it, but he didn't. Instead he stood me up and didn't have a real reason why. You just never know about a person's sense of integrity until something like that happens. I'm just glad the meeting place wasn't far.  | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:43:28 PM | | This has happened to me twice in the last month. It's disappointing but at least you learned he was a douche early and not after having developed strong feelings for him. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 2:48:27 AM | I don't think any man would stand you up, unless he lied about his looks or something else.
Maybe just a kid playing on moms' computer, or just a bitter guy "getting back" at beautiful women and trying to "hurt" them.
Brush it off, you are new on this site and going to be hit on soooooo many times.
Sharpen that picker. Go through some old threads of topics about on line dating and read the posts. You will get an idea of whats going on here.
Wildone: same thing, another beautiful woman talking to a person that probably isn't what he says he is and doesn't want to be laughed at or just a kid .
No sane man would stand either of you up on purpose. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:08:44 AM | Sharlena, I know it is hard because you liked the guy, etc. and I know it is our nature to wonder wtf? But every moment you spend thinking about this twit is more time that he has stolen from you in addition to the what 3-4 hours or more you spent sitting and spinning the evening he stood you up.
If he comes back and tells you he WAS in a coma, it happens, happened to me, then give him a second chance, anything other than stranded in a culvert out of cell phone range isn't going to fly, and he'd better still be there, lol.
With all of the strange encounters, the people that inexplicably stop e-mailing, the ones that back out on dates or stand you up, remember it is them not you and don't bother wasting your time trying to figure it out.
If this ever happens again and I want to add that I don't think this has jack to do with your picker, make sure you have some alternate plans so the getting ready isn't wated on the four walls and pets if you have them, lol. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:36:17 AM | I did not indicate she had anything wrong with her picker.
I said, sharpen it.
Sharlena: If that is what you took from my post, that is not what I meant.
You are drop dead georgeous and I agree do not waste any more time thinking about this. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:48:32 AM | Sorry, You didn't deserve that & hope it doesn't discourage you in the future.
Internet dating is kinda difficult for most people. Not only are you lacking information on non-verbals (smile, laugh, expressions, etc.) but also lacking information on personal character & intergrity (since he is still a "stranger"). He was exciting for the date but then changed his mind last minute for some reason. You probably don't want someone who is flakey and lacks common courtesy no matter how great he seems. SO really you avoided a guy who would have turned out to be a jerk sooner or later. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 6:30:25 AM | oh no anjelic i didnt take your post the wrong way and i appreciate the advice and compliments from you and everyone!!!!!
ugh i just wish i had like a way of knowing what went wrong!>? i don't even want an apology.
i hope he's ok. the concerned person i am wanted to call yesterday just to see if he was ok even tho i barely know him and everything. just to make sure he wasn't hit by a bus or abducted by aliens. but i didn't because i did not want to look crazy or something. and because i figured he proly thinks i hate him or something (which i don't).
i never realized tho how often this happens. its definitely one of those things where you don't realize how often it happens until it does to you. I feel for all you guys and gals who have had this occur. because i know i felt like my stomach dropped every hour that passed when i looked at the clock until i realized that i am just gonna take myself on a date tonight. which i did. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 6:38:57 AM | You have to remember most blokes on dating sites are just out of a bad marriage or relationship and possibly a very expensive divorce too.
On the one hand they want a woman but on the other do they want to end up bogged down divorce proceedings again ?
You need to be thick skinned for the dating game, just chalk it up to experience and move on............. Who knows your next date might be Mr Perfect. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 6:43:03 AM | | It's the same old song and dance. Everyone here is looking for someone who just slightly out of their league. I guess they figure that with so many "fish", they can aim a little higher than they normally would. So this guy probably asked you out, knowing he was still fishing for something better, but when it came time for the date, he had found someone he felt was superior to you, and left you in the lurch for her. Sucks, don't it? | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:19:41 AM | | Well my take through the internet reading this is, your a beautiful young woman who is kind, caring, sincere and compassionate with a ton of inner beauty as well.. TOTALLY HIS LOSS!!!!!! | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:59:54 AM |
It's the same old song and dance. Everyone here is looking for someone who just slightly out of their league. I guess they figure that with so many "fish", they can aim a little higher than they normally would. So this guy probably asked you out, knowing he was still fishing for something better, but when it came time for the date, he had found someone he felt was superior to you, and left you in the lurch for her. Sucks, don't it?
Wow. Bitter much? You don't know this at all. The only thing that sucks for sure, is your attitude. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:23:26 AM | i second that.
its one thing to post your opinion its another to be a jackass and try be malicious.
doucher. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:39:26 AM | | Yeah ive been there before the worst is when its not an online date but someone you know from frequenting a bar or youve met and hung out with before...Ive had women stand me up when ive bought tickets to comedy shows and concerts .. One even asked me for my address so she could mapquest it and then didnt show..The kicker is ive had them even stand me up and then when im at the local bar /club they run up and give me a huge hug im talkin jumped on me legs wrapped around and all when i didnt even realize they were in the bar yet.. Acting like everything is fine without so much as an im sorry or explanation or anything and me not wanting to be mean in front of mutual friends let it go and dont say anything.... | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:33:38 PM |
passed when i looked at the clock until i realized that i am just gonna take myself on a date tonight. which i did.
Good for you, that's exactly what you should have done! | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:45:57 PM | | no point stressing yourself about why he stood you up, so a night of your life was lost..a dissapointment yeah but no big deal, remain positive and just think to yourself it was his loss. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:06:21 PM | | You're young and very attractive. If he stood you up that's inexcusable. He's a jerk. Move on to the next one. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/23/2009 2:04:31 PM | | He WASN'T INTO U like that....that's all!! Simply Put....Females can come up with a million theories like "he's married" or a "jerk" but most likely he was NOT that attracted to u and bailed out!! Yeah yeah.....he could have been a gentlemman and let u know up front but some people don't have common decency anymore. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/23/2009 2:41:36 PM | | It happens......get over it and move on. It is his loss for not showing up. | |
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| stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/23/2009 2:42:45 PM | Please don't take it personal when a man flakes out on you. But always be prepared if you do get stood up. Drive yourself there to the meeting place. Bring your own cash to cover drinks and dinner, even if you wind up eating alone. Bring a book or a newspaper to read. So you won't just be sitting there waiting for him.
I can't believe I am going to admit this in a public forum. I need to go back to banned camp again
Several YEARS ago, when I used to date more than one guy at a time, I had in a 1 month periode been stood up 5 times by different dates. I know this makes me sound like a seriel dater and or a slvt, but least I wasn't sleeping around either. Anyway, I always met new dates at a restaurant about 5 min from my house, so if things went sour, I didn't have far to go home. Well after the 3rd time of getting stood up, the bar maids and I would place bets to see if my dates were going to show up or not. Funny enough, I had more fun that month getting stood up than I ever did dating | |
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